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Theta Mom®

Redefining Motherhood

Envy, the Blogging Kind

I am certainly not the first blogger to write about this topic nor will I be the last. In fact, other bloggers have written about this (some even about me) so I thought maybe it was time I shed my own opinion on the subject of blog envy.

The questioning begins: How does she get THAT many followers? Why did THAT post get so many comments? Why didn’t I get an invite to THAT event? How did she land THAT sponsorship?

Then the self-doubt sets in: What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I reach success the same way I see other bloggers doing it? Am I not savvy enough? Smart enough? Funny enough?

Good enough?

Well, the reality is, success in this crazy bloggity blog world is defined by each and every one of us differently, but when you work endless hours and the rewards don’t come as quickly as you would like, disappointment and self-doubt begin to set in when you watch as other bloggers move ahead. I get tons of emails from other bloggers with the thoughts I just presented above and many are looking for some advice as they make their way through this journey…

Here’s my take: We’ve ALL been there from time to time. I don’t care how “big” of a blogger you think you are or people think you are, every blogger goes through some sort of blog “envy” at some point. And if they don’t admit to it they aren’t telling you the whole truth.

Many look at me and think I have this whole thing together – landing some fabulous partnerships, unique opportunities and such. But two things you have to remember:

I didn’t just purchase a domain, write some quality content and expect to be given some amazing opportunities. I had to work for it because nothing is handed out in the blogosphere. Establishing an influential and reputable online presence takes years of hard work and those that have the book deals, magazine articles and amazing opportunities did not publish their first post yesterday. These bloggers have earned respect which has been a process in the making for longer than you think.

Do some really talented writers get overlooked? Of course they do. Are there some really popular blogs that you kind of wonder how they reached superstar status? Perhaps. But for the majority of us, there is no free hall pass and every single comment, tweet, sponsorship and paid opportunity has to be earned.

I wouldn’t be sharing the whole truth if I said I still didn’t get blog envy from time to time. Sometimes, I also experience some self-doubt when I see the hashtag of an off site event on Twitter in which I didn’t get an invite to, or a brand sponsorship that I thought would have happened to me, and the list goes on…The point is, just when you think a “big” blogger has seen or done it all, trust me, there’s an even bigger blogger than her doing bigger and better things. It’s just kind of how this bloggity blog world operates and you have to learn to stay motivated and passionate about what you’re doing and roll with it.

So, the takeaway here? When you begin to feel stressed out, envious or doubtful about your own blog by comparing yourself to THAT blogger, instead, support THAT blogger. That’s right. Be happy to see THAT blogger reach a level of success because she damn well deserves it. The fact of the matter is, the more you give in this space, the more you get. And then some.

Stay true to who YOU are and remind yourself that there’s nobody like YOU in this space. Continue to pursue your passion, play fair, work hard, and support the likes of others along the way.

With the time and hard work I dedicate to this thing, do I think I deserve some of that awesome superstarness too?

Absolutely.

My time will come, as long as I continue to be supportive of others and work hard. I’m here to stay because I’ve earned my right to be here.

And that’s just how it rolls.

Featured TMC Blogger: Four Plus an Angel

TMC welcomes Jessica, author of the blog Four Plus an Angel. By the title of her blog alone, you can already sense that Jessica has been through more than what most of us have. And after reading just one of her posts, you will quickly see that Jessica writes in a very heartfelt way that draws her readers in immediately. She is truly an authentic blogger, full of open and honest experiences, the kind of blogger you want to follow in a heartbeat. Here is how she described her blogging journey in her own words:

“I started blogging over three years ago when I was pregnant with triplets. I was hospitalized for preterm labor and thought it would be the best way to keep family updated. It was nice to track my progress and post ultrasound pictures and read supportive comments from my mom and the one or two people that stopped by each week but I was definitely not a dedicated blogger.

My triplets were ultimately born 12 weeks premature and we lost one of our daughters on her third day of life. I let my mom post the news, the good and then the horribly bad, on my blog, and didn’t give a thought to blogging again. Months went by, and in the throws of life with two preemies, grief over the loss of our daughter and post-partum depression, I closed myself off from the rest of the world. I had this thought in my head that no one could possible understand so what was the point in reach out to talk to anyone? As the babies’ first birthday neared, I decided to do a post for them, documenting their first year in pictures. I then began updating here and there with heights, weights, cute things they were doing. All for them. So they could read about their early years when they got older.

Slowly, I began to get back on my feet again. I reconnected with my love of writing and my blog evolved into what it is now. A place to share anything and everything I want to share. In the past I blogged for everyone else, but now? I blog for me.

When I’m sad I blog about it, when I’m just plain overwhelmed like any other mom with four kids at home, I vent and when I want to share the strides my daughter with autism is making or the tough day she just had, I do that too. No matter what I talk about there is always someone out there who can either relate or who will comment and say “you know, I’ve never been through that but I’m here if you need me.” And this is the amazing thing about blogging that keeps me writing day after day.

I think back to that year I isolated myself after the loss of our daughter and wish I had blogged through my grief. The support and relationships and amazing people I have found through blogging are like no other. I am a stay at home mom and blogging keeps me connected, social and sane. If potty training is throwing us for a loop or if I can’t seem to peel myself off of twitter long enough to put the laundry in the dryer I can blog about it. The comfort in knowing that there are a million other moms who are not expert potty-trainers and may also have a slight twitter addiction is unmatchable.

What Theta Mom brings to bloggers is such a great representation of what the blogging world is. There are so many women (and men) out there who blog to find a connection, so that someone else reads and shakes their head in agreement. That acknowledgement, that acceptance, is priceless. Heather has created this amazing place that makes connecting with each other and supporting one another that much easier and I can’t thank her enough for giving me the opportunity to share the huge part of my life that is my blog, with all of you.”

Be sure to check out the blog and follow her on Twitter! New to TMC? Join us! We LOVE new members!

*To be considered as a future Featured TMC Blogger, be sure to comment on this week’s post! Have a wonderful Mother’s Day Theta Moms!!!

Planning for Summer at Home with the Kids

I am featured over at momAgenda’s fabulous blog so I would love for you to go check it out and show some comment love! I’m talking about the challenge I’ll face in about a month when I have to plan for the summer home with the kids…and I know SO many of you moms can relate to that!

Stella & Dot: Ultra Chic Jewelry

Stella & Dot was founded by busy mother of two, Jessica Herrin. She actually co-founded weddingchannel.com in 2004 and wanted to put her business as well as creative talents to good use. With an education from Stanford combined with real world experience, Jessica was able to find a balance between career and home by creating Stella & Dot. She established a vision for this company by developing a business based on the concept of marketing a fabulous product through e-commerce with social networking as its foundation. This has lead to the major success of women running their own businesses representing Stella & Dot in the last few years!

I have to be honest and say that part of the immediate draw for me (other than the gorgeous jewelry) is how Stella & Dot was established. Many young, entrepreneurial women with drive and determination have paved the way to show that with some creativity and hard work a “big idea” can turn into a reality. The founder and creative director of Stella & Dot certainly emulate this.

Meet Independent consultant, Tracy Bennett, who is no stranger to this company. In 2008 she was laid off from a very successful career in advertising for eight years. Although she worked so hard to earn a degree in that field, she decided after the layoff and having her first child that it was time to try something more rewarding both personally and professionally – which is when Stella & Dot came into her life.

I own a pair of Stella & Dot earrings (to which I wore one night out at BlogHer10’) so I know the quality and style that this line of jewelry carries. Stella & Dot will polish off any look for you whether you are heading to the grocery store or a night out on the town. You won’t spend a fortune to look fabulous, either. Be sure to shop the Fab Find for under $50 section which features some amazing and affordable designs like the Clair Necklace:

The Trends are another one of my favorite aspects of the online catalog because they will keep you looking fashionable and chic, like the Awakening Charm Necklace:

The Soiree Stud Earrings are also something to talk about:

There are so many gifts to choose from for that someone special (or for yourself)! You’ll even find cute and functional Totes to keep some of your goodies in:

Be sure to click here to find out how you can become a consultant for Stella & Dot just like Tracy Bennett. She would love to answer any questions you have! You can follow Stella & Dot on Twitter and Facebook.

Theta Mom® abides by word of mouth marketing standards and believes in honesty of relationship, opinion and identity. Independent Consultant for Stella & Dot, Tracy Bennett, is a proud sponsor of Theta Mom and I was compensated for this post. However, all opinions expressed are purely my own and the content of this post was not influenced in any way.