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Theta Mom®

Redefining Motherhood

No One

October 2007

6:00 AM Packing the car for the day ahead and buckling my 2 year-old little boy into his car seat.

6:20 AM Pulling out of the driveway on my way to drop him off at day-care with an hour and a half commute ahead of me. We are listening to his favorite song “No One” by Alicia Keys and in the rearview mirror, I could see my son bounce his tiny head to the music and clap his hands together as I, well, I tried to keep the mascara from running down my cheeks…

That time in my life was so difficult because all I wanted to do was be with him, every second of every hour of every day – and that was just not possible. He was always one of the very first kids to be dropped off at 7 AM and he would spend the next 10 hours there as I continued to rush along my brutal commute to work.

All I could think was – this isn’t what I expected. This isn’t what “motherhood” is supposed to be. There just HAS to be a better way.

“I just want you close

Where you can stay forever

You can be sure

That it will only get better

You and me together

Through the days and nights

I don’t worry cause

Everything’s gonna be alright…”

7:00 AM After dropping my little boy off (with another hour still yet to commute), getting him settled for the day ahead and kissing him on the cheek good-bye, I would pause, look him right in his eyes and tell him I loved him with every ounce of my being. And before he could even begin to cry, I would whisper that mommy is working really hard to make THIS thing better. And that one day, one fine day, I would find a way…

October 2011

9:00 AM I am driving alone as my son has been dropped off at Kindergarten, a mere five minutes from my home. I am headed to an appointment near where I used to work – and en route through that once very brutal commute, I pass the day-care where my son attended 4 years ago. Ironically, Alicia Keys comes over the radio, but this time mascara wasn’t running along my cheeks.

My heart was singing.

Four years later, I am a mother at peace – at peace with the tough choices I’ve had to make along the way. The next time I begin to second guess myself for leaving a lucrative and rewarding career behind, I am reminded of the sacrifices I made TO FINALLY GET HERE. I am so grateful to be able to say that I am a mom who found her way.

“No one No one No one

Can get in the way of what I feel for you…

And all I know is everything’s gonna be alright…”

To my little boy who is looking like a young man more and more these days, I hope you stumble across this post one day and read it with a full heart – acknowledging that I made some really tough choices along the way, all in an effort to give myself and this family a better life. And, I have never, never loved anything more in my entire life. And No One or No Thing will ever get in the way of what I feel for you.

Blogging to Make a Difference

My guest blogger today is Elizabeth, author of the blog The Writer Revived. She’s sharing her blogging journey with us today including the distinct path that lead her to develop an important community for mom bloggers. If you haven’t met Elizabeth yet, be sure to read on. You’ll be glad you did!

I started blogging in 2010 because, well, I was told I had to. As a writer wanting to be published, I was advised a presence on the web was critical. I had never read a single blog. I had no idea what I was doing, or why, and it showed. I floundered in those early days.

Eventually, I found my voice. And things started to take off. Blogging became a wonderful way to practice my craft, express myself and connect with others. The women I have gotten to know through blogging and social media mean so much to me, more than I ever could have imagined. As a long time career woman who became a stay-at-home mom, I have felt so isolated at times. Being able to reach out to others has had a positive impact on my life.

Sadly, there can be a negative side. From nasty, anonymous blog comments, to Twitter catfights, to entire sites dedicated to trashing an individual, I have seen it all. While I was never a target, I did not like what I witnessed taking place between some moms. I found it very disheartening.

For a long time, I thought there was nothing I could do. After all, I am just one person. But then I realized the Internet offers the same opportunity to work for good that it does for bad. I could rally others to stand up with me and speak out. I decided I would use cyberspace to spread a positive message in many of the same ways it is used to spread hate. The Take the Pledge Campaign launched in March. I believed it would resonate with other women, and I was right. The response has been remarkable.

Now I’m blogging to make a difference. I am energized and inspired by the women who have joined The Mom Pledge Community. Together, I know we have the power to affect positive change in the way moms interact with one another.

Moms are never going to agree on every issue. That is not a reasonable expectation. But we should be able to discuss issues in a respectful and open-minded manner. And learn to accept the choices others make, as well as their right to make them. Close to 400 women have taken The Mom Pledge. I receive emails every week thanking me for creating it. The stories bring tears to my eyes. Women tell me I have changed their lives for the better. And they have definitely impacted mine.

All this because I got pushed into blogging a little over a year ago. Who knew?

If you are interested in guest posting at Theta Mom® please send me an email since I am currently accepting submissions. Full details can be found on the Network page.

Meet Julie Anne Rhodes

I am thrilled to announce a fabulous new partnership, working with a new client whose online woman-owned business presence is something that I am excited to see grow! Meet Julie Anne Rhodes who is no stranger to the spotlight. Julie Anne had a very successful international modeling career for fifteen years during the time she met now ex-husband Nick Rhodes of Duran Duran. Upon moving out to LA and touring with the band for many years, it was at this point when she was given the opportunity to ignite a life-long passion of cooking. She always had ample savvy friends and food critics on hand to cook for, but it wasn’t until she became a mother herself that she acknowledged that she wanted to eat healthier not only for herself, but for her family.

Upon years of training and cultivating her skills as a professional chef, Julie Anne launched The Roving Stove personal chef service in 2002. Her business took off immediately as she planned and prepared weekly meals for a long list of clients ranging from busy families to A-list actors, athletes, and even musicians. She had the innate ability to take this passion of cooking and bring it to others upon demand always using fresh, local ingredients. Julie Anne has been written about in the LA Times and various other publications and her “Best Poultry Burger in America” was featured on Food Network’s Ultimate Recipe Showdown in 2008.

With the thriving success of her business, Julie Anne wanted to have the opportunity to bring her talents beyond her clients in LA. This is when she launched Julie Anne Rhodes (the site and lifestyle brand) to give YOU just that – an opportunity to have the assistance of a personal chef right in your own kitchen! The Personal Chef Approach provides you with the information, recipes, how-to videos and forum to save you time and money in the kitchen so it’s really like having a personal chef work directly with you. Here’s how the Personal Chef Approach works:

By signing up for FREE membership, you have access to the do-it-yourself tools to this approach (you only need an email and password to create an account). Upgrading to the Premium Membership gives you full access to the forums, weekly menu plans, how-to videos and so much more! This membership also includes an exclusive community to share tips and tricks while getting support from the inside forums. On average, the Personal Chef Approach to cooking will actually save you 8-10 hours a week because you will have all of the information you need prepared in advance. As a Premium Member, you have access to the Weekly Menu plan which includes recipes, grocery list, and “heat to eat” instructions so this cuts out all of the guess work when it comes to preparing meals.

Those of you who know me and have read my blog for quite some time know that I am NOT a chef. Actually, I hate to cook. I will be the first to suggest to my family that we are ordering in or going out for a bite to eat just so that I don’t have to cook. I believe a big reason why I hate to cook so much is because I just don’t have the right tools or skills to help me prepare a variety of meals, and I certainly do not have the time to research new recipes. The Personal Chef Approach organizes everything I need in one weekly pdf file, so the beauty of this program is that Julie Anne has done all of the work for me! Grocery lists, recipes and all cooking instructions (even for the cooks like me who burn toast) are all easily laid out so I don’t even have to think about it. As Julie Anne says, “If you can read – you can cook.” It’s also exciting to know that her recipes are client tested and approved. Remember, she’s an award winning professional chef!

Sounds awesome to have meal planning practically at your fingertips, right? And the timing of this program could not be more perfect with the holiday season inching closer! I know many of YOU are moms just like me who are in desperate need of some help in the cooking department and who could use some incentive during the holidays! Well, Julie Anne is here to help us on both fronts and she’s got a super sweet deal right now. She is offering a lucky Theta Mom reader 3 months of the Premium Membership to put her Personal Chef approach to the test. So here you go:

Mandatory Entry: Simply follow my blog (tell me you do) and tell me why YOU need to win this membership! Are you in need of some inspiration in the kitchen? Maybe you need some new holiday meal planning? Or maybe you just need to get more organized in the kitchen with this approach – spill it in the comments!

Tweet for an extra entry: I just entered the #giveaway @ThetaMom for Premium Membership to The Personal Chef Approach with @JulieAnneRhodes http://bit.ly/oQWoI3 

{This contest is open to US and Canada residents, ages 18+ and will close on Tuesday, October 11th. A winner will be selected via random.org. {The winner must have a valid email address and claim the prize within 48 hours. Otherwise, another winner will be chosen}.

**This contest is now closed. Congratulations Tabitha! An email has been sent!

Julie Anne Rhodes is also the author of the ebook Party Accomplished which reveals the secrets in using The Personal Chef Approach. Here, you will have the tools to organize, cook and host a fabulous party that you can actually enjoy seamlessly with your friends because the key is that everything is prepared in advance – to perfection. Be sure to also follow Julie Anne Rhodes on Facebook and Twitter to stay updated on the latest cooking and book information.

Theta Mom® abides by word of mouth marketing standards and believes in honesty of relationship, opinion and identity. Julie Anne Rhodes is a proud sponsor of Theta Mom and I was compensated for this post. However, all opinions expressed are purely my own and the content of this post was not influenced in any way.

Make 3 Immediate Changes to Avoid Blog Burnout

My guest post today comes from Jessica, author of the blog Four Plus an Angel. She’s sharing some sage advice on maintaining a blog AND a life outside of the blogosphere before reaching blog burnout. I know veteran bloggers will easily relate to this and the ideas presented here are also imperative for newbies.

We were driving home from a long weekend away with the kids when I decided I would quit.

I unplugged for four days and felt great. My eyes were not strained from staring at the computer screen for hours or keeping up with a twitter stream. I felt connected to my kids and confident that I had truly enjoyed our trip rather than worrying about my next blog post or my current stats.

As we got closer to home I daydreamed about what I would do with all of my free time now that I would not have to post nightly and blog-read every free moment.

But then I got home. And I checked my Twitter stream. And I missed my friends and wondered what they had all been writing about while I was gone.

Maybe I wouldn’t quit after all, but I would have to make some significant changes if I was going to continue. I tend to be an “all or nothing” type person so I would have to adjust my blogging attitude and reprioritize in order to avoid burning out.

I made a few immediate changes:

1. I stopped blogging so frequently. In the past I would blog 5-6 days a week. Now I blog 3 days a week and ONLY when I have something to say. If I am not inspired to write I don’t. I can honestly say that this has improved the content of my posts and increased my readership and comments. Best of all, I am not spending every weeknight staring at my computer screen for blogging inspiration.

2. I dedicated time to learning new social media tools. I invested time learning Stumbleupon, Pinterest and improving my Facebook page. I also started using Crowdbooster to effectively target my social media interaction. Utilizing these tools has helped me to network, strengthen my social media relationships and also increase my readership.

3. I give 100% to what I am doing. If I am playing with my kids I no longer check Twitter at every pause in the action and I leave my phone in another room when I am getting things done around the house. I don’t spend my day trying to find five minutes to write, I write when I have a chunk of time to do it. My mommy-guilt has decreased and I genuinely enjoy the things I am doing much more (except for maybe the laundry).

I can honestly say I am pleasantly surprised by how these changes have improved my blogging life. My stats have maintained what they were when I was blogging five or six days a week, I feel more connected to my readers and blogging friends and I even cook dinner every once in a while.

What are some ideas that have worked for you when you found yourself at a blogging crossroads?

Getting to Know Me

I’m bringing it back old school by sharing some random facts about me. I actually published this lovely Q & A type of post very early on in my blogging journey and since I have many new readers since then, I thought it would be fun to share again – this time, I have some new questions and the addition of some #hashtags to give it a finished touch. So, here goes getting to know me a little better…

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. Paris Hilton

2. What has been your favorite age so far? 24

3. Where did you meet your husband? In a bar

4. How many children do you have? Two #totallydone

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? Karaoke after a few beers

6. What’s the first thing you notice about your preferred sex? Great teeth

7. What really turns you off? Dishonesty

8. What do you order at Starbucks? White Chocolate Mocha #yummy

9. What is your biggest mistake? Not starting this blog sooner! #fact

10. As a child, what did you want to grow up to be? I thought I wanted to be a flight attendant…that was until I “grew up” and my fear of flying got in the way. #nojoke

11. Say something totally random about yourself. I can eat rainbow sprinkles directly out of the container. #seriously

12. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? Kiddie tv shows #notbychoice

13. Did you have braces? No #thankgod

14. Favorite Social Network? Hands down, Twitter. #ofcourse

15. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you? My husband proposed to me on the ice-skating rink in Rockefeller Center.

16. When do you know when it’s love? When you can’t imagine yourself living without that person in your life.

17. Do you speak any other languages? I studied French in High School, Spanish and Italian in college – and I can’t speak any of them. #truestory

18. Have you ever been to a tanning salon? Fake and bake? Of course, I’m from New Jersey 😉

19. What magazines do you read? I used to love InStyle, but now I don’t even have time for that anymore. #socialmedia

20. What is playing on your iPod right now? Van Morrison

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo? Yes, the most fun limo rides I remember were for 3 different Bachelorette Parties in NYC. #goodtimes

22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? Yes. All of my grandparents are deceased.

23. Do you watch MTV? I never miss an episode of Jersey Shore. #fistpump

24. What’s something that really annoys you? When my husband thinks I spend way too much time on the computer. And I know he’ll eventually read this, and then our conversation following will be even more annoying. #lame

25. Which television show you were sad to say goodbye to? Friday Night Lights #texasforever

26. Can you dance? Actually, yes. I even minored in it in college.

27. What’s your favorite place in the world? The ocean

28. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Ambulance no but ER, yes.

29. If you could meet anyone (dead or alive) who would it be? Marilyn Monroe           

30. If you could change one thing in the world for your child, what would it be? I would remove the life-threatening nut allergy that my son lives with everyday.

Your turn: If you’re up for the challenge, ask a question in the comments that you would like to know more about and I’ll do my best to answer it. How’s THAT for random?