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Theta Mom®

Redefining Motherhood

Full of Wonder

When I became a mom, I quickly learned how to respond to snarky comments and I absolutely realized that Motherhood is NOT one size fits all. I also took oodles of joy in the fact that this little wildflower was my very own and regardless of the struggles we’ve experienced and those that still await us, I have so many high hopes and dreams for my little girl.

I know I am a little late to the party, but better late than never, right? Two of my favorite bloggy friends Galit and Alison hosted an amazing blog linkup last week called Memories Captured where the idea was to take a photo and add in some text to highlight the memory captured from that particular moment. It’s such an awesome idea so be sure to show these bloggers some love and participate in the next Memories Captured – as I can’t imagine the blogosphere without it!

And for me, the photo in this post is a moment I want captured, one that I shared with my little girl who I see as all of those things – and I can’t wait for her to read this post one day and recognize all of those things, too.

When Blogging Leads to a ‘Real’ Job

I dropped off my daughter at preschool the other day and went to speak with the Director about a concern I was having in my daughter’s classroom. Somewhere in that conversation, the Director asked me, “Do you work or are you at home with the kids?” I replied, “Yes I work. Actually, I work from home.”

That response lead to her asking, “Oh, really? That’s great. What do you do?”

I responded with, “I’m an Adjunct Professor.”

As the words flew out of my mouth, I sank in my chair. And then the disappointment set in.

As many of you know, I was an avid Adjunct Professor for many years. I had a lucrative career, a stable job and a steady income – and then, I gave birth to my second child and fell in love with blogging.

Apparently, I wasn’t ready to tell the Director exactly what I do now in fear of her judging me; that the title of “blogger” just isn’t as established or well known as “Adjunct Professor” – or one in the eyes and minds of others doesn’t equate to as a “real job.” Honestly, I just wasn’t up for explaining what I do since blogging, at this point, still needs an explanation. What exactly would I tell her?

Yes, I blog. I tweet. I facebook. I bring creative campaigns and brand messaging to a whole new breed of consumers. I YouTube. I consult. I write. I develop business and marketing strategies. And the list goes on. Oh and yes, I get paid for doing those things. In essence, I make a living blogging in the social media space, so how exactly do I translate this job title to people who do NOT fully understand this world?

I don’t know about you, but I actually cringe at the thought of explaining what I do to even some family members and close friends. Bottom line? Those that are not active in this world simply DON’T. GET. IT. Moreover, they certainly don’t view this blogging thing as leading to a “real” job.

As a blogger, the personal issue for me has really become – why do I continue to hold back when I am asked that question, “What do you do for a living?”  After tons and tons of soul searching upon that conversation with the Director, I’ve since realized that the longer I remain silent, the longer I am simply adding to the rhetoric that blogging and social media do not equate to a “real” job – and for me, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

As a business owner, aren’t I a wonderful role model for my children? Doesn’t this prove that I can dare to dream and make things happen with continued dedication and hard work? Doesn’t this show my daughter that I can be a good mommy AND follow some of my own dreams, too? Doesn’t it show my son that mommy is fully capable of starting her own business and able to contribute to the family income and still use her education, skills and experience?

So why do I continue to listen to the preconceived notions from others who don’t fully understand what I do and who define what a “real” job, is for me and what is not?

Although one job may be much more stable than another and granted, when you freelance, there is much more risk involved since you never really know when that next paycheck is going to come in or where it’s going to come from, that should not make me any less of an employee (whether I am self-employed or work for someone else).

I have been one of the lucky ones to have found a way to make this whole thing work – and I’ve never worked harder at something in my entire life EVERY SINGLE STEP OF THE WAY. Nothing has been handed to me and every opportunity I acted on has been EARNED, just like any other job.

Blogging is the reason I’ve been able to see my babies grow up.

I have this blog to thank for being able to attend Kindergarten parades, birthday parties and story time at school. It’s because of THIS job that I am my own boss and I make my own rules and I punch my own clock – and guess what? I still bring home a paycheck.

In an industry where there really aren’t any concrete benchmarks, I think we need a call to action especially since our blogs currently serve as our virtual online resumes. And in a space where more and more women are finding creative ways to earn income from home, it’s about time that we took some credit for what we’ve established.

So let me be the first to tell the world that I *do* have a real job – it’s called Theta Mom.® It’s my own brand that’s the face of my own company – MY VERY OWN COMPANY and THAT is the REAL JOB that continues to put food on the table for my family.

And at this point in my life, I wouldn’t have it any other way. So maybe it’s about time I started to let the world know, too.

Following the Path

My guest blogger today is Kirsten, author of the blog Kir’s Corner. She is a wonderful writer who was caught between a few different worlds upon entering the blogosphere; she didn’t know the “right” niche she fell into – until now. Her story is empowering and I hope her words resonate with every woman who reads about her journey. As bloggers, we can all learn something from her personal experience.

“Do you know where you’re going to, do you like the things that Life is showing you?” Do you remember this song? It’s one of my favorites and a question that I ask myself all the time.

My blogging journey has lasted for more than six years and for most of them I literally had no idea where the paths would take me. In 2005, I had been married for two years and had been trying to get pregnant with a baby for the same amount of time. I was sad, lonely and very depressed about my infertility. Like so many women who are struggling with those issues I just wanted someone to listen, to understand and to empathize with those feelings. So I sought my first sisterhood and I found my first space here in the blogosphere.

Kir’s Corner was born.

I had no idea what I was doing as far as blogging was concerned. I have never been a very tech savvy gal but I did know that writing was helping me. I could purge and vent, I could ask and receive, I could connect to hearts that were hurting like I was and I found hope in this exchange of words and encouragement. I found I could be a part of a village, a cheerleader and a link in a very important chain of women that needed one another.

It was empowering and gave me Hope on a lot of hopeless days as women took me on their own journeys.

Soon, it was my turn to move to another place in my own story. I got pregnant with my twin boys with an IVF (in vitro) in May of 2008 and soon my blog that had dealt with all the intricate emotions of infertility added the aspect of pregnancy, morning sickness, advanced maternal age and multiples to the mix. Like a recipe I folded those new ingredients into the bowl and hoped for the best.

Would my infertile friends still come by?

Would my pregnant friends come back now?

I didn’t really know where I belonged. I was stuck between two worlds and not sure about which one I had the right to lay claim to.

Infertile?

Pregnant?

Both?

Once I became a mom the lines were even more blurred and hard to decipher. Like a survivor of a life changing event (and is anything more life changing than holding your children in your arms?) I struggled in those first few years of motherhood trying to decide who I was in this world inside the internet.

There was guilt and subdued happiness; reluctance and hesitation with each keystroke about whom I was writing for and what kind of reaction my words would bring. My heart was simply caught between sharing my own joy and hurting for the women that I had left behind.

I don’t remember the exact moment when I realized that I didn’t have to be in one place and not the other. What I do recall is the lightness of my heart when that thought occurred to me.

Once I had that ah-hah moment my mindset changed, my heart opened up and so did my writing.

Suddenly, I found myself in new villages, new communities and a new sisterhood that brought all the diversity of the world with it. Women, men, single, married, gay, straight, mothers and writers who were as colorful and different as any group could be yet when you peeled back the layers we had a common trait: a willingness and urge to share our lives.

They welcomed me, each one of them. Some liked when I wrote about my twins, others when I shared my own mishaps of motherhood. Some enjoyed my fiction stories and others wanted me to continue to give them glimpses into my past. For me it was the simple joy of knowing they would visit my corner that encouraged me to stay and just follow the path.

The last year of my blogging journey has been the happiest time of my life. I feel like I am finally sharing all the parts of myself without labeling myself or forcing myself into a niche. Something about this space has allowed me that freedom and choice to open the gift of myself and place it in the hands of the people who read me.

Today I am so content with what “Life is showing me…” and so grateful that I have a Corner where I can write, dream, vent and share while I wait to see where my journey will take me next.

And of course you’re welcome to join me anytime!

Spice Up your Holiday with a Nutty Irishman

Looking for the perfect holiday cocktail or one for any day of the week? Well ladies, look no further than a Nutty Irishman. And no, I’m not talking about my husband. Meet your new favorite cocktail:

{Mix the following together in a cocktail glass over ice}

1 shot of Frangelico® Hazelnut liqueur

1 shot of Kahlua

Fill the rest with Bailey’s® Irish Cream {and if you only have Carolans in the house, that works too}

It’s the perfect blend of delicious flavored sweetness, making it a smash hit at ANY holiday party – or day of the week for that matter.

You’re welcome.

Uptown Girl Photography

Uptown Girl Photography  is owned by Kristina Hansen who is a thirty-something wife and mommy who loves everything about babies, weddings, showers and virtually ANY reason to throw a party! She rocks the lens of her camera in her smashing photography business (you must view her portfolio to get a glimpse of her gorgeous work), but this amazing entrepreneur also runs a successful design studio offering custom stationary, invitations, thank you cards and SO much more! Uptown Girl is your one stop shop for capturing life’s precious moments through stunning photography as well as creating that perfect invitation.

I had the pleasure of “meeting” Kristina on Twitter about a year ago and we instantly hit it off. She is a fellow Jersey girl and once we started chatting, we realized we had so much in common! I was immediately impressed with her passion for design, photography and true entrepreneurial spirit. Soon after, we talked about the idea of collaborating in the future and since I was in desperate need to get some professional headshots taken, I was thrilled to have the opportunity to work with her!

I’m NEVER one to boast about how I appear in photos, nor am I ever really thrilled about myself in pictures; I’m like every other woman on Earth – looking at any photo of myself, I can instantly find a million things that I don’t like about it. But I have to say, I’m in love with the photos from our shoot and I certainly have Kristina to thank since she really captured some wonderful shots for me:

Kristina is truly an amazing talent, so if you are in the NJ/NYC area, be sure to check out her photography business! And this is my absolute favorite which is now my current Twitter avi:

Whether you are in need of headshots or seek to get that special family portrait taken (or capture some of life’s precious moments at an event or at home with a new baby), Uptown Girl Photography is the perfect match! And if you are not local, of course you can shop her Design Studio, as she ships anywhere in the continental US. She has some adorable new holiday designs just in time for you to create that infamous holiday card. Be sure to check out her businesses, support her on Facebook and without a doubt, follow her on Twitter. She is one of my favorite tweeps!

Theta Mom® abides by word of mouth marketing standards and believes in honesty of relationship, opinion and identity. Uptown Girl Photography is a proud sponsor of Theta Mom and I was provided a full photo shoot in order to facilitate this review. However, all opinions expressed are purely my own and the content of this post was not influenced in any way.