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Theta Mom®

Redefining Motherhood

A Secret Society

I was on Twitter the other day (no surprise there) on a really gloomy morning. It was raining super hard and all I could think about was how dropping the kids off at school in that kind of weather was going to be such a drag.

And then I saw a tweet from my bloggy friend @MommasGoneCity. She tweeted how she was going to take her three children (2 of who are under the age of 5 and a newborn baby) across town on the bus in NYC through rain to go bowling.

3 children. NYC. Bus. Rain. Bowling.

After reading that tweet, I DM’d her and all I could say was,

“Jessica, I don’t know how you do it.”

Because it’s the truth.

I don’t know how she does it.

Here’s how that morning would have played out for me if I attempted to do that: I would be wiping sweat from my forehead, worried the baby would be screaming on the bus as I tried to wrangle my two toddlers. I would be franticly trying to pay the bus driver, digging in my purse through wipes, bottles and Epi-Pens to find some change. Then I would be wobbling down the aisle through the crowded bus with bulky winter coats and my extra large diaper bag filled with 90% of my home, aimlessly seeking for enough seats to fit my family in – all the while making sure my children are holding my hand and somewhat listening to me.

I would be anxiously wondering how I would be getting all of my children out of the bus without hearing them complain that they are going to get wet in the rain during the short walk to the bowling alley. And then once at the place, I would have to deal with the endless, “Mommy, I want a snack. I’m bored. I’m hungry. I have to go pee. These shoes are too tight. I want to go find a bowling ball. This one is too heavy,” and the list goes on. This would all happen while I would have to attend to the newborn baby and various feeding breaks, so guess what?

I don’t think I could do it.

And I’m ok with that.

I’ve come to realize that while I embrace the fact that I am not a perfect mom (certainly one of the main reasons I even started my blog) that there’s even imperfection in imperfection.

I have two children and that’s even a stretch for me many of days, so I can’t even imagine adding another to our brood. Moreover, venturing out through the rain in the city to go bowling with my two AND a newborn? It wouldn’t be something I would be confident about, so my hat is off to those that can.

On the flip side, allow me to pitch or present to a team of top level executives, give me the opportunity to interview or hop on an important conference call, let me shake hands with CEO’s and CFO’s and I am in my element.

THAT is where *I* thrive.

Does this make me a “bad” mother or any less of a mother? No, it means I know my own boundaries and I know what works for me and my family. Because the fact of the matter is many people wonder how I do what I do – raising two kids, working from home, managing a blog, a business and other ventures.

Well, here’s a quick secret. I’m getting help.

Yes, my life is crazy – crazy busy, but I’m super organized and an amazing multi-tasker. However, since my business has grown I’ve gotten some help. And that help has mainly been enlisted by my husband because it’s the only way this thing can work. He now does all of the grocery shopping and he takes the kids back and forth to school (when he can). This alone frees up a minimum of 5 hours a week for me. And the biggest help of all? I hired a house cleaner. It’s the best money I’ve ever spent in my life because I just can’t do it all.

Bottom line?

We are part of a secret society that as moms, we ALL wonder how the mom next to us does it…but the *real* secret is (and I can guarantee you) she is wondering the SAME THING ABOUT YOU.

My New Business Venture

A few weeks ago when I kicked off the New Year here at Theta Mom® I mentioned that I had a few surprises in store this year, one of which includes a BIG new venture.

It’s the kind of innovative business project that I’ve been working on for many, many months and I just didn’t want to share the details until everything was in place so I could properly give it the kind of launch it so well deserves.

And this time, I’m not doing it alone.

My business partner is none other than the fabulous Corine of Complicated Mama and I couldn’t be more thrilled at what we’ve created, together.

Introducing…

Launching Mom is completely supportive of women in business. We know many women, bloggers and Digital Moms are in the midst of navigating their own path – whether that means freelancing, consulting, starting their very own companies, etc…so Corine and I knew that we needed to develop one space, ONE platform that would bring women together to support one another as we continue to venture out in this unwritten landscape.

When you check out Launching Mom you’ll see that in addition to fantastic content, the focus of the site is based on conversation. That’s right, we want YOU to have the opportunity to network with other like-minded Digital Moms and the kind of Brands that are relevant to us all. We can’t wait for you to come on board!

But, there’s even more…

Launching Mom is much more than just another website online. We are a brand and platform dedicated to providing women with the education, tools and inspiration offline as well. We will be hosting Launching Mom Business Social Events, perfectly organized to bring Digital Moms and brands together through powerful Key Note Speakers, Influential Mom Panels and so much more.

Our first Business Social will be held at The Continuing Studies Conference Center at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, New Jersey on June 8, 2012. Tickets and more information will be available soon!

So, what are you waiting for? Run over to Launching Mom and sign up – it’s absolutely FREE. All you need is an email and a password and then the networking and learning can begin!!!

As always, I appreciate YOUR support! Thank you for being a part of this journey!!

The Power of Mom Blogging: Brands are Listening

I often get asked the question how I work and continue to work with reputable brands in various ways. Bloggers (especially those just starting out) want to know how to grab the attention of some brands to begin forming partnerships through their own blogs. They are unsure of how to even get started so here is my short answer to that question:

Continue blogging and build a quality, sustainable network.

It’s actually a simple equation when you think about it. I’m not talking about specific numbers, I’m talking about readers (NOT number of comments, number of Twitter followers or likes on Facebook). I’m talking about REAL readers who come back time and time again and share your posts.

I know a handful of big time bloggers who don’t always get a gazillion comments per post, but you know what? You better believe that when those posts roll out, TONS upon TONS of people are reading that blog and sharing that content – and THAT is the tell tale sign that a blog is being read.

Here is my long answer: (I hope you find my story inspiring regardless of how far along you are in your own blogging journey)

Just two short months into my blogging career, I wrote a post entitled “What’s the Deal Dr. Brown?” Basically, I posted about the sippy cups I was using with (at that time my Baby Girl) which actually had the top rubber piece coming off making the cup a complete choking hazard. I was horrified. It was one of those things that once it happened, I couldn’t wait to blog and post photos about it – partly to raise awareness, especially if other moms were using those cups and partly to get some feedback as to how I should proceed to notify the company.

Keep in mind, I posted that in September of 2009, only TWO months into blogging and the response I received was incredible. I followed it up with another post entitled, “Dr. Brown Proves I have the BEST Followers” because it really was the fact that my readers encouraged me to reach out to the company and let them know about my scary situation. I blogged about that entire experience, too – from the email exchanges that took place as well as the phone conversations I had with the company.

But what happened next truly demonstrates my point…

While I was testing out the new replacement cups the company provided for me to use with my Baby Girl, I had numerous telephone conversations with various reps over at Handi-Craft. Shortly after, I received an email from the Vice-President of Handi-Craft himself. He wanted to talk with me over the phone.

That’s correct. He wanted to talk to ME (the girl who had only been blogging for less than three months) and I was about to hop on a conference call with the VICE PRESIDENT of Handi-Craft, one of the largest manufacturers of baby bottles in the nation {that’s after I wiped up baby snot from my t-shirt and spilled juice from the floor of course.}

I chatted with the VP about my experience from my kitchen telephone, holding my daughter in one hand and a diaper in the other. He informed me the “original” cups I used were eventually taken off the market.

So, over several months and upon numerous email exchanges, phone conversations, and ultimately a chat with the VP himself, I would like to think I had a little something to do with the “original” cups being removed so that they could not potentially harm a baby. That in itself is pretty amazing stuff. And yes, I blogged about that, too entitled “Blogging like a Rockstar.”

In retrospect, my blog became a platform for my voice to be heard and that brand was listening.

Lesson learned here and case in point?

No matter how “small” your blog or how “long” you’ve been blogging – BRANDS ARE LISTENING.

You want to connect with brands? Be authentic. Be professional. Create content and a blog that readers want to return to again and again and again. Build a quality and sustainable network and continue to set new goals for yourself. Write, write and write some more. Connect. And connect some more. Continue to reach out to your readers and build a reputable online presence. In doing so, you’ll create the kind of platform for your voice to be heard and when that happens, the brands you want to connect with will be listening.

I am pure testimony of that.

Passing the Torch

Standing outside that bar for the first time in years felt strange.  The establishment had since changed hands and was renamed to something I can’t even pronounce. It even boasted a shiny new red sign outside.

Stepping in through the double doors it was nothing as I remembered it to be. The center bar was now an open space and posh built-in tables were found toward the right. The main bar was now located on the left side of the room and another bar was pushed off in the back corner. Not even the main bar resembled anything like the way I remember it.

That place (and how I remember it) has so much history for me. I spent countless “Happy Hours” there and enjoyed a ton of laughs and cocktails with my colleagues. I danced many of nights with friends on that dance floor and had the time of my life doing it. I started working full-time directly out of college so THAT bar was my hangout as a young, professional woman in her early twenties.

I have so many fond memories and good times shared there, but sadly, I felt strange standing in that space all these years later.

It’s all different now.

Things are different now.

My LIFE is different now.

I’m married. I have a mortgage and two children. I no longer work in that town and haven’t been back there in the last several years. My life has taken such a different path and I’ve moved on – so has the bar I once knew.

That bar has moved on to a different time and place. With different people.

Although I was feeling super nostalgic, we decided to stay and grab a few beers. We spent some time reminiscing about the “glory days” and even though I couldn’t recognize a single brick on that wall, it ended up being a fun evening taking a trip down memory lane.

History in that bar.

So much history.

By about 11:30pm, we decided that it was time to go. So many young faces began to crowd the main bar which made us feel like we were about 85 years old. Clearly, we were out of our element so with one last sip we clicked drinks, shared a few more laughs, soon grabbed our coats and headed toward to door.

By this time, a larger crowd of young people swarmed outside waiting to get into the bar. We were leaving the bar to go home and get to bed while those standing outside were just about to start their night. It was yet another sign that things are just so different now.

Making my way past the bouncer and out through the double doors, my eyes locked with a tall, handsome young man who was about to enter the bar. He stared me straight in the eyes and smiled.

And then called me by my maiden name.

My maiden name.

I stood still for a moment.

I was totally confused, not sure of who this man was that stood before me, one who clearly knew who I was.

And then, I gasped.

{*Gasp*}

The young man that stood before me was a former third grade student of mine I had in my classroom 12 years ago.

Exactly.

{GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!}

He is now 21 in his final year at Penn State and doing amazingly well. After the initial shock wore off, I gave him a big hug and loved hearing more about his life now. Honestly, I was speechless and in awe of this moment; as he spoke to me, I *still* saw that adorable, sweet little 9 year-old boy that sat in my classroom.

As we chatted outside, he then motioned and called to two other young men who were smoking outside the bar. Both men turned around, walked toward me, smiled and then shouted MY MAIDEN NAME. Again, I was in disbelief. These two men remembered me, too!! They were two more former students of mine home on holiday break, meeting up with some old friends from town.

So there I was, standing outside the bar that *I* used to call home. The bar that *I* spent most of my early twenties in. But, as truth be told, the clock stood still and my time there had expired. It was time to pass the torch to the three young men who were about to enter that night, making that space their own.

It’s now their time.

As I drove home with my husband, I looked forward to crawling into bed to get some decent sleep before my own children woke up. And as I slept, those three former students would be living it up until the wee hours of the morning in the same bar that I once knew and had grown to love.

Different place.

Different time.

But oh, how life comes around full circle.

As I fell asleep that night, I was no longer sad that the bar had changed and I no longer yearned for it to be like the way things were because everything is just as it was meant to be.

My heart is full – knowing that I passed the torch.

A Fresh New Start for TMC

New Year.

2012.

Wow, I can’t believe I am entering another year of blogging. On one hand, I feel as though I just started my blog and on the other hand I feel like I’ve been here forever. Blogging has changed SO much (even in the time I’ve been blogging) so it’s important to periodically assess and evaluate WHY you blog and what you really want out of your blog.

I perform a “blog assessment” to keep my vision strong and goals in check – so the New Year is an absolute perfect time to figure out where it is YOU are going with your own blog by evaluating it. I highly recommend reading the post I wrote at this time last year on how to perform your own blog assessment entitled New Year, New Vision.

After recently performing my own blog assessment for 2012, I realized it’s time to revamp TMC. Can you believe that in March it will be two years since I launched TMC? As much as I am thrilled to see TMC continue to grow, I recognize that many of the bloggers (especially those who joined early on and even many in between) have stopped blogging – and this is something you’ll find in many communities. Bloggers stop blogging for so many reasons, so I thought it would be a good idea to “relaunch” TMC once or even twice a year, only displaying active members – those who I would define as blogging on a regular basis and active within social media. It’s kind of pointless to visit a Listing from a blogger who hasn’t posted in months, you know what I mean?

So, this announcement means that I need you {members of this amazing community} to make your Listing again directly on the TMC page. The link has not changed; neither has the button, mission or goals of this community. The only thing that will change are the Listings, making them fresh (with current links and blog titles since many bloggers have changed blogs, too) and full of active members for you to connect with.

What better way to kick off Theta Mom® in 2012?

I’m loving this idea already. Now go create your Listing and welcome back to TMC!