When I started blogging, my kids were babies. Or so it certainly seemed that way. My daughter was only 9 months old at the time when I published my first post. And my son? He was not even three.
At that point in my life, my blog was my outlet.
It was my saving grace.
My sanity.
It was my home, my place to vent, to share, to connect.
It was my third baby.
I blogged between naptime, late night feedings and I even found myself reading and commenting on blogs in the wee hours of the morning – and to this day, I wouldn’t trade that time for anything. I loved every single second of it. Blogging got me through some of the toughest days of motherhood.
But now, I am in a different space. It feels almost strange, actually. It’s as if I am growing up – as if my blog is growing up.
My kids are also older, and growing up.
My son will be turning seven and starting first grade in the Fall. My daughter is in pre-school and will be attending full-time in September. She’s nearly four years old.
There are no more naps.
Or late night feedings.
And there is no more “luxury” of blogging in those wee hours of the morning.
My life is now consumed with helping my kids with homework, driving them to soccer games and nine million other school activities. I am out of the house more than I have ever been and even though I am still connected to the internet, I feel a bit of a disconnect.
It seems to be changing.
All of it.
So I wonder – as we evolve as bloggers, and as we evolve as mothers – do our blogs and our blogging habits change? How do you moms of tweens do it?! Many have often wondered how I blogged when my I had an infant baby, but I feel as though at that time, it was somehow easier to blog. It certainly seems easier than it is now.
I used to be home all the time. I was connected all the time.
But now, as my kids are venturing out on their own and growing up, jumping onto Twitter to tweet from a soccer game just doesn’t seem as important to me.
Or giving a Facebook update just doesn’t seem as vital anymore.
I’m not sure exactly what has changed, maybe it IS just me – or perhaps it’s just part of the evolution of blogging. And it’s certainly something I think blogging conferences should address. I know I can’t be the first to experience this.
Or the last.
Either way, I have to continue do what feels right to me. And right now, that means being completely connected to my kids. My blog, Twitter or Facebook won’t remember my son smiling on the soccer field.
But I certainly will.
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a thousand times if need be, I think it’s all about balance. Just anything in life, if you blog, you have to balance it out with other things. I think we moms prioritize and reprioritize daily. Also, as YOU evolve, I think your blogging has to. What I don’t think, is that it has to end. I think we can redefine our bloggy selves, if you will.
I totally agree. I’ve always struck a blogging balance but now that my kids are older, I am not home as much. So, it has changed – and blogging does not have to end, it just has to change alongside us if we want it to grow.
Funny I just wrote about something similar…I have been thinking lately “what will my kids remember about me?” In 20 years the internet will not remember me, but my kids will. I am in the same exact position as you {guess because our kids are the same age}. I find that my days are busy btw school, homework, baseball, errands, clients, etc. that I can’t seem to find the time to be connected throughout the day. Not to mention I am completely exhausted by 7pm! I am trying not to put pressure on myself. I am grateful to have a job I can do from home and around the kids’ schedules but at the same time it’s really hard. I’ve not been on as much lately, like you I want to be connected w/my kids more. And I only blog 3 times a week if that. I guess we are growing w/our families….and like you I want to enjoy it
Just popped over and read your post – I’m feeling the same way. I don’t want my kid to remember me typing away…when they were babies, they slept. A lot. And I know this may sound crazy, but when they were little, I had more “down” time. Now? That doesn’t even exist. I’m busier with the kids more now than I ever was – so I get this.
I think it’s natural that your blog evolves and the relationship you have with blogging evolves. You bring a new set of experiences and expectations to your space here all the time, and both what you want to put into it and what you want to get out of it are probably different. All I know is I love seeing you pop up in my twitter stream or my blog reader, whether it’s every day, once a week, or once a month
Live your life, and you will continue to be the embodiment of what Theta Mom is–truly authentic.
“Live your life, and you will continue to be the embodiment of what Theta Mom is–truly authentic.” <——Best comment.
Ever.
Thank you for totally "getting" this!!
Amen to that. You have to trust your instincts, which vary with the seasons of our lives. The ebb and flow is normal, I think; at the very least I’ve been aware of similar tides in my life. xoxo
I think it’s normal, too. I guess I just never envisioned I would be in this space. 😉
Um…are you living inside my head or something?? Well said, mama. I couldn’t agree more. I’m going through the exact same thing ever since going back to work full-time…and now when I’m done with work, I just want to unplug and be with my little guy. Blogging is definitely an evolving process, and now I only blog when I feel like it, or when I have something to say. I do it for me…not because I feel obligated to…and I’m thankful to have friends like you who truly understand!
xoxo
It makes me wonder where we go from here – because it’s only going to get HARDER as the kids get older.
I really do think blogging conferences should be discussing the evolution of blogging – and what seasoned bloggers (like us) can/should do about it.
Excellent post. You’re obviously hitting something that all of us are feeling. And would love to see more about the evolution of blogging–a topic you should continue to cover!! (I will be following!)
I’m chuckling- because I am sitting outside Five Guys while my teen son is grabbing a burger! It’s the only 5 minutes I have today!
I agree…blogs grow just as we do. You are not the only one to feel the change.
And taking the time to watch the soccer game is way more important!
Yes, way more important but I guess I never envisioned how this blog would change as my kids got older. But, it’s happening and I’m reaching another crossroad in this space…
i also started my blog when my kids were wee – and now they are older. also (from blogging) i have a lot of freelance social media and writing work, so i’m busy with that. i say it’s great if our blogs evolve – there’s plenty of new people with new babies – and nap times and late night feedings – to take the place where we once were
Same here. That’s the other thing – the paid gigs are another piece to this puzzle but you said it best here:
“There’s plenty of new people with new babies – and nap times and late night feedings – to take the place where we once.” <——Couldn't have said it better!!!
Our blogs are a reflection on what’s going on offline, so when things change in our lives, it’s inevitable it will too, for our blogs. How much we blog, what we write about – they will evolve. You do what is right for you – and you’re right, kids trump blog. Every time.
Yes, it IS a total reflection of our lives offline – I guess I just never imagined it would be this hard as the kids “grew up.”
I knew exactly what you are going through… everyone used to ask how I had the time to cook and blog and take pictures when my boys were younger…. but, back then they went to bed earlier and I had more “me” time in the evenings to blog and comment on other blogs. Now, they are older and have activities and such… so, my blog gets updated when I have something to share, which is less often than in the past. It goes in spurts, sometimes I have an abundance of time to share things and others I need to be “fully present” for my family.
I’m finding the same exact thing – my writing is going in spurts with no real “schedule.” I am blogging when I can get to it. 😉
I always thought I was somehow “out of loop” on where most blogs were. Since when I started, my kids were older than most others that I keep a circle with. I couldn’t see how others were doing 5-6 posts a week, tweeting and replying to comments in the same day. I couldn’t put my finger on the problem. I thought “what am I doing wrong?”
Family comes first.
I can safely say “nothing”.
Exactly! I see the new bloggers emerging with their infants and I used to be right there in the mix myself with my babies. But, things are slowly changing for me and I feel the tide turning…
Oh this is an important one, friend.
We have to change with our kids and our lives and our situations.
(And change can be hard sometimes. I love the way you’re going with and focusing on what matters.)
And that last line? Is a stunner.
xo
I never thought this far ahead when my kids were babies. They slept SO much when they were little so it seemed natural to have this awesome writing outlet – but now as they are getting older, I am not home as much and so I do feel the blog tide is turning.
I suppose it’s natural for us to experience these changes in our blogging career, I guess I never anticipated the tide to be turning – so quickly.
xoxo
Yes, yes, yes. Not a mom, but facing a LOT of changes lately. I was/am a food blogger, but due to illness have had to completely change my diet. I’ve taken a much more spiritual turn in my life and am learning so much. I fear that no one will care. I’m writing a book. It takes up a lot of my time. Will my readers stay around if I only post once or twice a week? About stuff they might not even care about?
I actually blogged about this last week – and my decision to just go with the flow. A blog is only a reflection of us, and can only be as good as we are – as women, mothers, spouses, whatever. So all that stuff needs to come first. Our friends will understand that this is part of our story.
I am so glad you wrote about this, Heather. Although my kids are not as old as yours, I feel as if they are growing up and there is less to write about concerning them. There was definitely more time to write too. Now we are busy with soccer games and fun things to do on the weekends to keep them entertained!
I have written a couple of posts about feeling “lost” when it comes to blogging. I’m not sure when it happened but I am less invested. My stats are down because I’m not doing the work to comment or promote as much. But I am caring less about that. I’m more interested in living LIFE!
A great read and a great perspective. Increasingly, I am feeling the little eyes of my kids on me as I type away on my laptop I have had to scale back accordingly. I’ve all but given up Twitter, save the occasional “urgent” 140-characters-or-less quip. I love to blog, I do, but it’s harder as the kids grow up. I hear you.
A woman’s live ebbs and flows, and we alter our own passions accordingly. There are times when we give all for the family because we are wired to do just that, and then there are times when we want more personal growth that excludes family. The harmony is found in being honest with ourselves when changes are needed.
I think there’s a “shelf life” to blogging. Those of us who use this platform as an outlet in the early days of motherhood, where kids slept 16-hour days, rarely went outside and couldn’t converse, it was a connection we needed to stay sane.
Now that they’ve developed a life of their own, it seems like we have just enough energy to keep up. It’s wonderful that it becomes so lively with animated conversations and exciting activities. And we want to be there for all of it.
So who can blame you for stepping back and enjoying these moments? Definitely not the community you worked so hard to build. We’re all moms here. We totally get it.
Enjoy every smile, every proud moment. Your online community will always be here. But these moments? Not so much.
I love this post, for so many different reasons. As a mama myself, (to a 6 year old gal), blogging time just doesn’t seem to really fit into my schedule much anymore. There are no nap times, no early morning alone time for me, no free time at all really. In fact, I recently deleted both my Facebook and Pinterest account, to better allow myself to spend my time wisely when I actually DO get some free time to myself. Social media has become far over-rated lately … our kids and our family should always come first though. Our blogs will always be the same when we return to them … our kids? Not so much.
Once I started regularly commenting on blogs I developed a niche and I pretty much stick to the people I know, with the occasional linking to someone new or returning a comment or linking up. It’s not that I want to be exclusive, it’s that my life doesn’t permit the hours spent.
Heather, I totally get you. I’ve been feeling somewhat similar the past few weeks, since my son began going to the bathroom on his own. I was like, “Hey, I was just putting him in nappies the other month?” Amazing how he has learned to potty train so fast. For a moment, I wondered if I was doing too much, writing too much, engrossed too much in work. I evaluated my feelings with a good friend and a mentor, and realized that I needed to let of a few things so I’d have more time with my kid. Not easy, but necessary. So I have been getting affirmed by your latest posts… Keep writing. You’re helping SO many people by doing so.
I too found it easier to blog when my kids were younger. My oldest is also going to be going into 1st grade in the fall and I feel like life use to be so much calmer when he was 3. We didn’t go many places then I guess. I think our blogs will change as our lives change.
As a fellow bloggers, we totally understand how your family’s life is affected by your passion. Raising children demands flexibility. The beauty of the internet is that we can bend to our kids’ needs FIRST, then attend to our own — seamlessly. Kudos to you for recognizing the phenomena.
Very timely and touching post as ever. I totally agree that blogging has to evolve and move with the blogger if it’s to remain authentic and if you’re to stay connected with your audience, who are also changing.
For me the evolution of blogging has included developing and redefining online friendships and creating new pathways to share and market our talents both on and offline. I take my cues from folks like you, Heather, who have always shown that there’s more to this whole blogging thang than just writing posts up and hitting publish.
As my babes grow older, I’m definitely looking at the bigger picture beyond my blog and frankly, I’m excited by all the possibilities! x
It was definitely easier for me to blog when my daughter was an infant. Now she’s 2-1/2 and keeping me on my toes! Between motherhood, marriage, my job, and life in general, I’m finding it harder and harder to carve out time to write. It used to bother me but not so much anymore. I just spent an entire weekend catching up around the house, conquering weeks’ worth of laundry, shopping for and planting my spring container garden, and spending time with my family. And here it is on Sunday night and instead of fretting over the lack of time I had to write this weekend, I’m feeling accomplished in what I DID do… and looking forward to the week ahead.
So yes, I’m discovering that there’s definitely an evolution in blogging.
I agree, you have to do what’s right for you. I have kids in both age groups and I found, even this year, with the addition of one more in preschool I was less connected to the blogging world. But sometimes I think that is okay and the nice thing about the blogging world is that they are always here when you need them most.
This post really resonated with me. My children are still babies and I do have much to blog about, but I feel as though I’m changing, my priorities have changed. Blogging was once the place I went to feel okay with the things I was doing as a new mom. It was my way to connect with other moms. But now, now that I’ve been leaving my house more and living more, finding my groove more as a mom, it’s changed. I still love connecting with moms online, but I must also connect with moms in my real life. I still love talking about being a mom, but I must also enjoy and just be a mom…who is there for my children, present, and living fully in this moment. I want to continue writing, but I’ve changed my pace of writing. I do Twitter and Facebook but not as often as most because I’m horrible at multitasking. I think what’s important is that you do what feels right. Focus on your family and yourself and blog around that.