Many of you know I took a blogcation recently. This meant no writing, publishing or promoting a single word from my blog in that time.
In the nearly three years I’ve been blogging, this was the FIRST time I didn’t post in over two weeks. That’s right, two weeks away from posting AND the nine million other things that come along with owning and publishing a blog.
Two full weeks and I have to tell you, it was a much needed break for me.
It even gave me the inspiration and motivation to chop my hair and bring some Theta Mom moxie back into my life.
In the time I was away, I reconnected with my family.
And I realigned my priorities.
Whether you are a veteran blogger or a newbie who has been blogging for less than several months, this issue is going to hit home for you at some point or another and it will continue to creep up time and time again as you continue to blog. And when you add in the oodles of time spent on various social media sites in addition to writing, it becomes harder and harder to strike some sort of online balance – but it is SO necessary.
A great example is when I was recently sucked into the Pinterest black hole. I finally created an account after so much buzz about the site and the first night I logged in, I was on that thing for over three hours.
Three frackin hours.
It’s an amazing site, but there’s a big problem. I just don’t have the time for it all – not when I’m running a blog, a business and raising a family.
Once again, I’ve come to realize that I have to make decisions that make sense for me and MY blog. It’s not based on what works for the blogger next to me or the blogger after that.
It’s what continues to work for ME.
Since my blogcation, I’ve cut back on my time spent on some social media sites – the ones that weren’t working in some way for my blog and my business. I can’t continue to put time and effort into a something that doesn’t show me some sort of return – whether it’s referral traffic, the ability to build relationships, share and find great content or network with others. If the site becomes nothing more than a hobby, I have to treat it as such and move on.
Some swear by Pinterest and that’s awesome. Some only use StumbleUpon and have tons of success. Some strictly use YouTube or LinkedIn and I can go on and on…the secret is finding the site(s) that work for you and invest your time accordingly and don’t get caught up in all of the hype just because it may be working for others – stick to what you know and continue to build upon what works for YOU.
Which brings me back to my whole blogcation point again.
I needed a break.
I was on social media overload.
And the time away from my blog reminded me of a few very important things:
I love to write.
I love, love, LOVE to write.
But when you add in the time and pressure of promoting posts, obtaining additional subscribers and maintaining a loyal readership by staying active on social media really begins to blur the lines…
The fact is that owning and publishing a blog IS a job – but WANTING to be here not feeling like I HAVE to be here is the big difference. And I’m happy to say I am in a good space again.
In the very early part of my blogging career, I obsessed over obtaining new readers. Soon after, I was so intent on increasing traffic hoping not to land in bloggy burnout and most recently, instead of playing the numbers game I was all too concerned with making sure I had that CONSTANT social media presence who knew no boundaries.
I’ve come to see that you absolutely need to create some boundaries or this social media space will eat you up alive.
You need to set limits.
You can’t ignore the things that are important to you.
You can’t neglect the mundane things that have to get done. Like cleaning the house, doing the laundry, or cooking once in awhile.
Above all else, YOU NEED TO LIVE YOUR LIFE OUTSIDE OF YOUR BLOG.
Final words to note?
I am writing for ME again.
And those that read Theta Mom® who want to continue to read Theta Mom® will *still* be here.
Two week blogcation or not.
Amen, Heather. As we talked about on Twitter, I’ve been going through this same evolution and the revelations about priorities that follow. I’ve been struggling to write about it, too – still trying to get the post to take shape. I loved this!
It’s funny because I almost reached out to you to co-write a post on this issue since we worked on a previous blogging topic so well together – we always seem to hit the same blogging “moments” at the same time 😉
I decided to write it solo considering it’s a very personal experience, having seen so much on my blogcation, but I know you’re going through something similiar.
I’m comforted in knowing that the decisions I make are in the best interest for myself and my family and I have to keep sight of that – it’s just another process in the evolution of blogging I suppose, but glad to know someone like you understands the path that I’m taking.
xoxo
Well said. You done too much with your amazing blog to get burned out or start to resent it. You know what’s best for you, Theta Mom and your family.
I had to throw in the towel on MMP because it was just too much. After a very long break, I started writing again, but only what I wanted to write. Not posts designed for traffic, etc.
Love the hair!
That means a lot coming from you LZ, one of the handful of bloggers who started out the same time I did. I feel like we pledged together! lol
Yes, I’ve worked too hard on this to start to resent it which is why I needed to re-evaluate. Thanks so much for being here – And I sure hope to see you IRL again at BlogHer!!
Heather I can totally relate. Around Feb/March I hit total blog and life burnout. I could not find it in me to write at all. I finally gave myself permission to TAKE A BREAK! I spent the last year work hard at building my blog and all that time writing, editing, promoting, and all the other tech stuff finally took its toll. So…I understand.
I try now to keep a strict schedule that is doable for me and finds a balance between work, life, and blogging. I did not like the feeling of burnout so I found it important to pace myself to try to minimize it in the future.
My favorite Theta Mom posts are when you are just writing for you…
xoxo ~ Tammy @ Skinny Mom’s Kitchen
Thanks Tammy – yes, I’m getting back to basics. Writing for ME.
Good for you, Heather! This is the main reason I stopped maintaining my blog. I miss having a place to park what’s in my brain, but it had become so consuming and was puling me away from my family and work. As if balancing work and family wasn’t enough, we now have social media to contend with. I’m glad you took time to re-examine and re-align your priorities. Life is too short to be spent sucked into the internet vortex.
I loved the sincere honesty behind this post. I have been a reader of yours for quite some time now, and I will continue to do so.
My favorite bloggers are the ones who TRULY do write for them, and not for a gain of followers, etc. It’s all about being true to yourself.
As for the social media burn out, I’ve recently cancelled numerous accounts with these current ‘top’ social media sites … in order to better balance out my life again, and re-prioritize. Family comes first, then blogging, etc.
Well stated! Thanks for sharing your insight and rejuvenation regarding blogging. 😉
First of all, your hair looks great! And it reminds me that my last cut was 4 months ago. Where has the year gone???
Good for you on your blogcation. It is so very easy to become overwhelmed & obsessed with stats & shiny social media sites that we forget why we blog in the first place.
Write when you write, and we’ll be here
And I’ve already said it, but I just love your hair. Your eyes just pop so beautifully
Thanks so much Angela. I’m comforted in knowing that my readers understand the path I’m on and the road I continue to travel. And you are certainly one of them!!
xoxo
I can relate. I got so stressed from walking that fine line between real life and online life, that I quit completely for about 2 months and only recently reopened my blog.
Thankfully, Blogger had an “un-delete” button and I was able to come back with a clearer idea of what I personally wanted from PoM.
In those 2 months, I reconnected with my spirituality, my husband and myself. Sometimes you have to step back and think about what you need for yourself.
Love the hair, too!
Welcome back! I LOVE the new hair cut too!
I recently realized that if I failed to do the things I used to do before I started blogging, I would have nothing to write about…and… I chose to be a stay at home mom so that my kids would have a present parent after school-a crucial time for children. When blogging began to take up that time, I had to reevaluate. I am a new blogger, but I can relate. Great post, even better hair. 😉
That’s the whole reason I started to blog; to write for me. And then I learned all about different avenues of social media, and it becomes overwhelming. Thanks for reminding me that it’s ok to take a break and figure out where attention is best focused.
I believe that living life first before writing about it, is key to surviving in blogging.
You’ve clearly figured that out, Heather. And love the haircut!
Bravo! Such an inspiring reminder that we ought to be here because we truly WANT to be … and a call for each of us to know where our boundaries need to be. I agree the social media/self-promotion stuff can turn into a black hole that will eat you alive. Thanks so much for this thoughtful prompt to think about why I’m here and also HOW.
xoxox
(LOVE your haircut!)
Thanks Lindsey!! You are one of the handful of bloggers that have been with me since 2009 and have watched my blog evolve – and you’ve been here every step of the way when I’ve experienced these blogging “moments” and I SO appreciate you staying the course.
The bottom line is that I’m getting back to basics – I’m writing for ME and it feels GREAT!
xoxo
Good for you Heather. Social media is hard bc it can be done from home, on the road, etc. but it’s a job and everyone needs a break to stay creative. I’m so with you on Pinterest. Fun but I don’t see much value in it right now.
Yes, the Pinterest black hole was the beginning of my social media overload & when I didn’t see value in it (for myself) I recognized that I just can’t spend time there or elsewhere that doesn’t give me some sort of return.
I need time to write – THAT is my passion & that is the reason I started blogging.
I’m getting back to bascis and it feels GOOD!
xoxo
I think we may share a brain.;) I’m in the same space and still trying to find the right balance but what I know for sure is I have to love it again for it to make any sense. Good for you. And love the hair!!
EXACTLY. “I have to love it again for it to make any sense.” I’m getting back to basics, blogging for ME and writing for ME. Thanks for reading!!
I’ve been through this time and time again. I recently started an Etsy shop and that has helped me get the unhealthy overfocus off my blog and onto something more productive. I’m thinking of deleting my blog FB page because I don’t get much from it personally. Your hair looks great!
Thanks so much! And I’ve realized that my passion is writing and not worrying so much about everything else that comes with maintaining my blog…I’m getting back to basics and writing for me. I’m in a great space right now, and it sound like opening up your own shop is where your passion is. Thanks for reading & sharing!
No matter what your career choice, everyone deserves a vacation. Pencils down ladies.
I blog because I love to write and share my stories. I have to remind myself of that everyday. If I ever find I am blogging for some other reason than I will have to pack it up. Blogging is supposed to be my stress reliever not another stressor.
Good for you for taking a step back and figuring out what you need to do.
I am loving the hair cut. I recently took a blogcation and I ended up chopping off my hair too. It felt good to reinvent myself so to speak.
I really appreciate your honesty in this post. I’ve found myself being consumed by all things social media and what I “should” be doing for my blog. And I only have a couple of months of blogging under my belt! So thank you for the reminder to blog for yourself and that boundaries are so necessary.
I can absolutely relate to this. There are some sites that others swear by to me, but to me it’s just a hobby or something with no return. I’ve since cut my time there drastically so that I can spend it somewhere else.
Best piece of advice I’ve heard about blogging: live life first, then write about it. I think that is so true.
“Live life first, then write about it.” SO true. And I would add not to interrupt your life to tweet, add a FB update or anything else…social media can eat you up alive so now I have some serious boundaries that give me an online balance.
I really needed a break to see all of this, thanks for reading!
I’ve always believed in the power of writing, and in the power of a personal testimony. That’s why Theta Mom is so awesome: It’s full of BOTH. I love it when you wear your heart on your sleeve like this — no doubt my most favorite posts are such as these!
Your new look is suuuuper chic!
It can certainly be a hard line to walk, especially for those of us who work from home. Writing is amazing and something I love, but my business partner and I have to put work first. I have slowly but surely began posting on a schedule again- but this time, not a daily one. It’s just too much when you work full time in this space!
Interesting perspective, as always. Good luck finding balance- it’s my ultimate goal in life!
This is great, and also timely. Well actually, I’m not sure when it wouldn’t be timely. But I’m trying to shift some stuff around to find my happy bloggy balance, while still maintaining just a bit of urgency to keep me going….
This post may need to get taped to a door for a while where I have to keep looking at it. Well timed – I’ve been grappling for a while with trying to keep up with life biting at my ankles, writing for multiple sites and spreading myself too thin across social media channels.
I need to focus on the writing that I love, the people that make it worthwhile and the channels were those two things intersect. The rest can go.
Thanks for the reminders (including that I need a haircut!) 😉
WOW – “I need to focus on the writing that I love, the people that make it worthwhile and the channels were those two things intersect. The rest can go.” <—–Yes, This.
Thank you so much for this comment, it validates everything I just posted.
xoxo
Well stated. I haven’t taken much time away from my blog but I do step away for a day or two when it gets too hard. I didn’t get into it to stress myself out. With a marriage, child, baby on the way, a full career and a blog, I’ve got a full plate. If blogging has to be the one to suffer when I’m feeling overwhelmed then I’m OK with that.
BTW, Love the new hair cut!
First of all, I love the hair, but you already knew that.
Second, THANK YOU for this post…I know I don’t really have to elaborate because you know I started a full-time job again a couple months ago…and things have well…changed…and I’ve had to realign my priorities too.
Oh, how I wish more bloggers understood that doing what is right for you and your family doesn’t mean you’re a sell-out or have fallen off the face of the earth or committed some sort of huge blogging sin, etc. Even people I thought were good friends don’t talk to me much anymore since I started working…but that’s ok. I KNOW I’m on the right path, and that’s all that matters, right?
Thank you so much Mary. We started our blogging journey around the same time and have been through so much in the last three years. We’ve built our own paths and made decisions that worked for US and nobody else.
At the end of the day, we have to be happy with the online choices we make and those that continue to be here for the ride will – and the others that won’t, so be it.
xoxo
First I love the hair cut
What you said is SO true. People who want to read/support you will be here no matter what. It’s important to refocus our priorities every now and then. We really do need to see how much return we’re receiving on our social media investments. I’m not on some sites because it wont be benefit for me social media wise. There’s only so much I can give. Better give wisely 
Excellent post. I’m still new at this whole blogging thing, and I’m having a tough time figuring out how to budget my time. I know I have to, and your post really validates that fact for me.
I could not agree with you more! I do as much as I can with my blog, but at times I feel like I need to do more just because other blogs are constantly on the forefront on the social media sites. And to be honest, I just don’t have the time. I write because I live writing, and we all need to remember that keeping up with the other blogs is not why we started blogging in the first place. Thank you for the reminder.
-Audri
I made a decision a while back to not grow my blog. I have a job outside the home, and with that and my children, I didn’t have time to focus on blogging. I had to actually face this decision when I got approached for advertising and sponsors. But in the end, I had to say no. I write because I want to write. I write what I want to write. And if I always have a small readership, so be it. It’s what it is. It’s my decision and I’m okay with it.
This is exaclty what I think bloggers go through – the natural evolution of blogging if you will. Making decisions that are right for ourselves and doing that, we can never go wrong.
Thanks so much for staying the course with me, you are another reader who has been here since the beginning, and I thank you SO much for that.
Oh, and I love your hair cut!
Beautiful!
You know I get this. I really, really get this. I’ve written about it a couple times, and I very nearly walked away late last year.
I completely agree with what you say here. Balance is key; keeping sight of your passion and your goals is imperative. Good for you!
P.S. – I’m in love with your hair.
I know you get this – and I’m just so glad you’re still here, reading.
xo
Welcome back! I totally relate to this post. I’ve been feeling the same way lately. So much going on and not enough time in the day which leaves me feeling stressed. I might take your lead and take a small break in the next few weeks. Glad it helped you!
I had to step back. The social media black hole was eating me alive. I even put my kids in FULL-TIME school and when THAT still seemed like not enough, I knew it was something *I* was doing. And I needed to make a change, fast.
The break helped me see a lot of things and I am in an amazing space right now.
Yes, this. Exactly this.
The balance piece, the never ending black holes.
It can all be so very overwhelming.
I love that you’re using your STRONG voice to speak up for reclaiming what works.
Also? Your hair looks fabulous. Love!
xo
Coming from you, this means so much Galit. I adore you – and can’t thank you enough for your encouragement and never-ending support.
xoxo
I love your haircut
and like so many said before me (because notice how long it took me to get here) it’s all about balance, of which i have NONE lately. I am busy with the blog and that’s good, but it’s also taking me away from work and my kids and my DVR which makes me cranky.
I love that your are doing this, that you know that you must rest once in a while and take a break…whenever you write, I’ll be here , reading and having so much admiration for you.
I just took a vacation as well. And you know what? I felt guilty for NOT feeling guilty – doesn’t that sound weird? I just didn’t care. One of the prime signs of burnout of course.
Whenever someone frets to me over “needing” to post, I try to remind them that unless their blog provides their income, they don’t need to do anything except live their life. It’s tough to step back – I think as women we do feel as though we can do it all, as much as our brains may tell us otherwise.
But life needs balance, and life will remind us if we’re off kilter. We have to do what we have to do, right?
The hardest part about blogging for me is the pressure to read and comment on other people’s blogs. I enjoy reading them, I absolutely love the relationships I have and want to work as hard on those as I do real life ones. But sometimes there is so much going on and I just can’t get to it as often as I want to. That’s my boundary issue, I guess. Pinterest and Twitter remain fun, nothing more. Stumble Upon (or however you write it) died an early death. I rarely am stuck for a post idea, but I never knew when I began a blog that it was just not the writing of the blog, it was all the relationships too.
Very insightful post. I am rather new to the blogging world. I get overwhelmed at the whole social media stuff. Only recently has it seemed like crazy! I really don’t know which ones are “working”. There are SO many aspects to blogging, and I only learned that, when I jumped out on a self hosted site. Talk about a different world!
This is SO true! “I’ve come to see that you absolutely need to create some boundaries or this social media space will eat you up alive.”
That’s where I am at. Trying to figure out all these social media sites. *sigh*
Now when I find out what’s actually working, I think I’ll try to narrow it down. 😉
OH and I LOVE your hair btw.
That was my first thought when I saw this post in my Google Reader. 
Boundaries matter. It is always good to reassess them & make sure they are still working for you! Glad to see you came back refreshed
Thank you for this! I read, but don’t often comment (gah, the HORROR, I know) and it’s nice to see something…less pushy? Is that the right word.
I step into twitter and feel like I’m being bombarded with all the advertising I painstakingly avoid everywhere else. Then, when my phone starts to beep… and my children, my life, my projects want my attention. When the Small People start to glare malevolently at your electronic devices, you know it’s time to step away.
At least, *I* know it’s time to step away since I can’t really be a mom-blogger without interacting with the kids, now can I?
As much as I (sort of) want to be one of the big wigs–because, really, who doesn’t?–, I can’t imagine the sheer amount of time required to stay there. To that end, it’s very “warm kitty, soft kitty” down here at the bottom. 😀
Kudos to you for claiming your life back!
Okay I know this is an older post but we’re totally on the same wavelength! I had this epiphany after my father passed away… why am I spending so much time online. For what? I’ve cut back and with my new PT job, I imagine I’ll be sinking into a new groove, whatever that may be.
There are two social media places that I continue to be- Facebook and Twitter. The others- Pinterest, Instagram, etc- are when I can, when I want. I’ve let go of any pressure to be there. I visit Pinterest like once a week or so and I’ll cool with that. Like you said, I don’t have time to be on there for 3 hours!
Melissa – I’m so sorry to hear about your father passing, it’s amazing how LIFE pulls us right back in to realize what’s truly important.
I got really sucked into the whole social media thing and it was eating me alive. If I didn’t step away, I probably wouldn’t have returned – it was getting to be too much.
I’ve learned to pick and choose the sites & things that work for me and I let go of every other expectation. Having said that, I’m in a much better space.