My guest blogger today is Kirsten, author of the blog Kir’s Corner. She is a wonderful writer who was caught between a few different worlds upon entering the blogosphere; she didn’t know the “right” niche she fell into – until now. Her story is empowering and I hope her words resonate with every woman who reads about her journey. As bloggers, we can all learn something from her personal experience.
“Do you know where you’re going to, do you like the things that Life is showing you?” Do you remember this song? It’s one of my favorites and a question that I ask myself all the time.
My blogging journey has lasted for more than six years and for most of them I literally had no idea where the paths would take me. In 2005, I had been married for two years and had been trying to get pregnant with a baby for the same amount of time. I was sad, lonely and very depressed about my infertility. Like so many women who are struggling with those issues I just wanted someone to listen, to understand and to empathize with those feelings. So I sought my first sisterhood and I found my first space here in the blogosphere.
Kir’s Corner was born.
I had no idea what I was doing as far as blogging was concerned. I have never been a very tech savvy gal but I did know that writing was helping me. I could purge and vent, I could ask and receive, I could connect to hearts that were hurting like I was and I found hope in this exchange of words and encouragement. I found I could be a part of a village, a cheerleader and a link in a very important chain of women that needed one another.
It was empowering and gave me Hope on a lot of hopeless days as women took me on their own journeys.
Soon, it was my turn to move to another place in my own story. I got pregnant with my twin boys with an IVF (in vitro) in May of 2008 and soon my blog that had dealt with all the intricate emotions of infertility added the aspect of pregnancy, morning sickness, advanced maternal age and multiples to the mix. Like a recipe I folded those new ingredients into the bowl and hoped for the best.
Would my infertile friends still come by?
Would my pregnant friends come back now?
I didn’t really know where I belonged. I was stuck between two worlds and not sure about which one I had the right to lay claim to.
Infertile?
Pregnant?
Both?
Once I became a mom the lines were even more blurred and hard to decipher. Like a survivor of a life changing event (and is anything more life changing than holding your children in your arms?) I struggled in those first few years of motherhood trying to decide who I was in this world inside the internet.
There was guilt and subdued happiness; reluctance and hesitation with each keystroke about whom I was writing for and what kind of reaction my words would bring. My heart was simply caught between sharing my own joy and hurting for the women that I had left behind.
I don’t remember the exact moment when I realized that I didn’t have to be in one place and not the other. What I do recall is the lightness of my heart when that thought occurred to me.
Once I had that ah-hah moment my mindset changed, my heart opened up and so did my writing.
Suddenly, I found myself in new villages, new communities and a new sisterhood that brought all the diversity of the world with it. Women, men, single, married, gay, straight, mothers and writers who were as colorful and different as any group could be yet when you peeled back the layers we had a common trait: a willingness and urge to share our lives.
They welcomed me, each one of them. Some liked when I wrote about my twins, others when I shared my own mishaps of motherhood. Some enjoyed my fiction stories and others wanted me to continue to give them glimpses into my past. For me it was the simple joy of knowing they would visit my corner that encouraged me to stay and just follow the path.
The last year of my blogging journey has been the happiest time of my life. I feel like I am finally sharing all the parts of myself without labeling myself or forcing myself into a niche. Something about this space has allowed me that freedom and choice to open the gift of myself and place it in the hands of the people who read me.
Today I am so content with what “Life is showing me…” and so grateful that I have a Corner where I can write, dream, vent and share while I wait to see where my journey will take me next.
And of course you’re welcome to join me anytime!
Thank you SO MUCH for having me here today!!!! I am so honored, happy and humbled.
The pleasure is all mine my friend!!
xoxo
I love this, Kir! Finding your way to your space and your home is freeing and empowering, yes?
{You deserve both of these gems!}
xo
Galit, thank you so much for coming over to say hi and for leaving me such gorgeous words. As always your comments make my day. THANK YOU. xo
Oh I love this, Kir..and you. A lot. xo
Tracy, thank you. I look to you as inspiration for so many things, and to have you enjoy this made me very happy today. Thank you!!!!!
Kir, YOU are truly a gift to all of us! It has been so wonderful getting to know and watching you grow into your own. I am so lucky to have connected with you and I am grateful every day!!
xoxo
Oh Kel, wow. What a beautiful thing to say to me. I feel just as lucky to know you, truly. You are such an inspiration and motivation to me. I can’t tell you what this means to me, you have made me smile. Thank you.
I love seeing you here so much, Kir! I am so happy you found your way, step by step. Honestly, my life has changed forever for meeting you. I feel so lucky to call you my friend. xo
oh my goodness, if I tell you I feel EXACTLY the same way about you does that count? My life and blogging and writing and heart is just different because you opened your life to me. I am the lucky one to have such an amazing woman as a friend and kindred spirit. xxo THANK YOU (even though I am openly crying at work now….xo)
I love that you have found your corner and you’re comfortable in it. Every time I read your words, be they on your blog or elsewhere, I feel lucky that I have found you, and can call you a friend. xo
I will never forget the day you followed me on Twitter and I got to MEET you. I got to be invited into the amazing world of your words and Monkey. I am the lucky one…and thank you for coming here, supporting me, always giving me so much love. It means the WORLD to me.
Beautiful perspective. I often feel like I am aimless in my blogging journey. I’m a mother of multiples who were high risk during the pregnancy phase and it is what drove me to blog more actively than I had in previous years. Now, I’m fully immersed in the blogging world, I enjoy contributing all over and yet, my personal blog still feels a bit aimless to me. I have no niche. I suppose Mommy blogger…but then I like to talk about thought provoking issues that have nothing to do with parenting….aimless…that’s me. 😉 Wonderful post!
Aimless….is GOOD. I refuse to tell people I am a “mommy blogger” , I’m not. I’m so many other things..A woman, a wife, a best friend, a daughter….I work Full time, I watch too much TV, I have big opinions about lots of little stuff…it all makes me who I am….and I love being that woman and sharing it with the people on my blog.
you know what’s funny, when I went on bedrest with the twins…I STOPPED BLOGGING for 12 weeks….just stopped. I couldn’t write, I didn’t want to write, which is why I was so lost after they were born.
I think you should just keep writing and not try to find a niche…find YOURSELF…and then it will all fall into place. (And let me add that I have just come to know this, to feel like “I’ll be a writer today, I’ll be a twin mom today, I’ll be an infertile today….and I let that WORK for me. )
Your words!!! yours….MATTER!!!!! Thank you so much for this gorgeous comment and for that heart pouring. I read your blog and KNOW without a doubt you don’t need to be anyone than WHO you are.
xoxo
Kirsten,
You read my mind. SO TRUE. All of it. I need to remind myself of this—of not having to confine/force myself into a niche. I’ve been worried lately about going back to a “mommy blog” because of Piper’s birth. But you know what? Who cares? I can blog about whatever I want whenever I want…even though I’m not doing much blogging, period lately!
So glad we are both off the IVF train—but that is what brought us together!
xoxoxo
Erin!! So happy to see you here. Thank you for commenting.
I never regret any of the stuff that brought me to today, I wouldn’t know YOU and how sad that would be. Just reading your words some days is a pick me up.
choosing NOT to label ourselves is a gift, one that I enjoy unwrapping as I write. I love never knowing what I might come up with…right????
love you sweetie.
xo
Absolutely love “I feel like I am finally sharing all the parts of myself without labeling myself or forcing myself into a niche.” LOVE it. There is power in writing the truth.
I am so glad that you liked this and “Got it”….you’re right, I’m finding lots of power in just writing and that is worth everything to me.
So happy to see you here, THANK YOU so much.
Oh, my dear Kir.
No labels are needed for you- except fabulous friend.
you are such a GIFT to me. In this blogging world, I am SOOOOOO glad I found you and you let me in. I can’t wait to hang ou with YOU on Friday. Truly. I feel like the lucky one: having YOU as a friend. xo
WOW. Awesome story and one I can totally relate to. I however wish I would have had a blessed blog community to fall back on during the dark years of my fertility struggles. I made it through and write articles about adoption and my own journey to motherhood. I can’t wait to see where the path unfolds next!
HI and thank you for such a great comment. I wish you had come to find US (the infertiles) when you were struggling, I swear I got through that journey because of the women that helped me along the way.
I can’t wait to see where your new path takes you either. it’s so nice to meet you.
How do I add to what Kir is to the blogging world… all those above and so much more. She is warm, sweet, sensitive, faithful, truly compassionate, tough (you’d have to be to get through all that), a cheerleader with sass, fun to giggle with and just makes you light up to talk to her. I have only known Kir as of late, but I consider her a good friend, even though we have never met. She is just that kind of women. I am lucky to call her a friend and I am so proud of the woman she is today!
Oh sweet friend, we are SO GOOD FRIENDS. like I sqweeee when I see an email or text from you. You have all these things that you say I possess, the power to turn my day into a HAPPY FUN PLACE no matter what.
I am the lucky girl who gets to be in your company, who gets to know you little by little and is blessed to call you MY FRIEND. Your presence in my life is a LIGHT that makes everything BRIGHTER.
thank you for this comment….it was MY CUPCAKE today. xoxoxo
What a wonderful path you’ve taken! I began blogging at the other end of motherhood- my nest is now empty, with my kids in college. I have found so many great connections,and so much satisfaction in writing. I’m glad I found your post today.
HI Sharon, what a lovely thing to say and THANK YOU so much for commenting. That made my whole day.
I think that whenever the BLOGGING BUG bites you it’s a GOOD THING. I’m so glad that now that your nest is empty, you found a way to connect and share. It’s such a great way to OPEN up your whole world. I’m GLAD I found You today. 
Kir has the gift of welcoming her readers and inviting them to share in her life. It is truly wonderful.
HI! what a truly beautiful comment. I love that that is how you think of me. It touched me, thank you.
I´m so glad to read about this! I constantly worry about this. I have so many sides and sometimes I just wanna share a side of me that I´m afraid people don´t want to see or I worry that people expect certain posts of me. Sometimes it´s hard to let that go.
I think the ´niche´thing is a myth, I think it´s the uniqueness of the personality behind the blog that makes readers want to come back for more.
I Agree, so BE YOU!!!!! Write it, say it, be who you are. Because that person is beautiful and talented and accepted: no matter what.
thank you so much for coming over to read and comment, it means so much to me.
This is me exactly but in a few different “groups.” I have ultimately found my way to the same space, a space where I am not part of one small group but an amazing larger one filled with supportive women just like the two of you.
and I adore that about you…how you can change and fit and be the same “you” in all those spaces. it’s truly inspiring. thanks for coming over today, it means a lot to me.
So happy to see you here Kir!
I’m also happy that you write; from your heart, for yourself.
You inspire and help.
Keep it up.
I feel like I’m the lucky one to have found you in these past months. And I could never put you in a label – unless it was total supporter of all.
I can relate to not fitting squarely into a niche. And I support you fully, exploring what works for you. I’m so glad to have connected with you and think you are a bright spot within the blogosphere! :>
It can be hard to find a home, can’t it? I am mostly parenting, but I also dabble in infertility posts and am on a mission to help stop bullying. And I write for two other sites. I don’t always know where I fit it, but I do know that there’s always at least one person listening…and that keeps me motivated to just keep going. Great post.