My guest blogger today is Molly, author of the blog A Day in Mollywood. She’s sharing a personal story reflecting on her experience attending her first blog conference. I know her words will resonate with you, no matter how far along you are in your blogging journey.
A week before I attended BlogHer (my very first blog conference) my friend Heather, aka Theta Mom, gave me some advice:
“DO NOT care what ANYONE else is doing but YOU. It’s a fact that there have been tons of bloggers that actually STOPPED blogging after attending conferences in the past because they let their insecurities and comparing themselves to others get the best of them.”
How could anyone stop blogging after attending such a popular conference? I thought it impossible and even giggled a bit because I knew that would never be me. Only, it almost was.
Almost.
My struggle with depression put a big damper on my conference experience. So much so that when I returned home I didn’t blog for a week, with the exception of a scheduled post for my son’s birthday. I had no inspiration and when it did spark I was too ashamed to have wasted a wonderful conference trip that many would have loved to attend. Then there was Heather with more wise advice, telling me it might help to write about it. I finally caved. I wrote about it and I’m so glad I did. The support from the blogging community was nothing short of amazing. Suddenly, I got my groove back.
So today, I want to share with you the valuable but difficult lessons I learned from attending my first blog conference:
*Do your research. There are so many blog conferences to attend. Yes, your twitter feed might be blowing up with BlogHer hash tags. There is a reason for that, of course. It is an amazing community of bloggers and although I had trouble while there it had nothing to do with the conference itself. I really do hope I get a second chance! But now more than ever I realize I should have checked out all my options instead of basing my decision on where everyone else was going. There are conferences specifically targeted to social media mavens, crafters and handmade goods, review and coupon blogs, and brand awareness. These conferences provide opportunities to meet and network with people in your niche. Some will boast 4,000 attendees and others will provide a more personal setting where you can get to know twenty people well. Who knows, maybe there is one close to where you live! No matter what, please do your research before deciding which one is right for you.
*Put self-confidence on your packing list. No doubt about it, BlogHer is a BIG conference. From the moment I walked in I felt overwhelmed. I naively thought that I would get to meet all my favorite bloggers. Let me save you the trouble. It’s not possible at a large conference. Pick a few “must meet” people and make it your mission to get in front of them. I may not have met everyone on my list. But I did get to meet three of my blogging idols! Let me tell you, it was totally worth coming out of my comfort zone to meet them. One of them even used my business card to find me!
*Remember, it’s not a competition. Blog conferences are not the time to brag about your feedburner stats and followers – unless of course you’re in a class to discuss those topics. The reality is that no one is there for that reason. I came up with four reasons people attend blog conferences: to see blogging friends they have already met, to meet and network with new blogging friends, to learn something new and – all of the above.
If we want to get the most out of a conference we must remember that everybody is somebody. You might see a group of people talking to one person and think, “Wow, they must be somebody!” Well, guess what? You’re somebody too. I don’t care if you have 20 followers or 2,000. If you are there for A, B, C or D, then you’ve got something in common with everyone else there. There are no losers. Everybody wins.
Find out who you are.
After attending my first blogging conference, it took me a few weeks to realize who I am as a blogger. There were clues while I was there but I didn’t see them until I left. Looking back I wanted to meet authors and writers; bloggers who practice their writing craft every week, bloggers who inspire me with their writing every time they post. It wasn’t until I returned home that I realized where I fit amongst all the attendees. I love to write. I love to blog. I am a writer-blogger! It only took me five years of blogging to realize that!
But now that I’ve got it figured out I can move forward in a more productive and meaningful way. I don’t have to push myself to sell ad space and do reviews on my blog if I’m not comfortable with it. If an opportunity comes up which interests me I might act on it. But I don’t have to force myself to compete. I’m simply a writer trying to spread my words around. The conference helped me realize that.
My best advice? Think about the posts that you have written over the past two months. How did you feel when you pressed publish? If you felt uncomfortable then that’s probably not your niche. If you felt excited and super happy each time you got a comment on that particular post then that is what you’re meant to be writing.
Don’t give up.
If you came home from a conference feeling defeated – do it again anyway! Push yourself. We’re rarely at our best in the beginning. Like Heather said, don’t let your insecurities win. Go to another conference, the same one or try a different one. I don’t care. Just try again. I never thought I’d say this, but I will be going to another conference. I don’t know which one or when, but I will and I know I’ll be better for it.
If you are interested in guest posting at Theta Mom® please send me an email since I am currently accepting submissions. Full details can be found on the Network page.
Molly – thanks for sharing this! I’ve never attended a conference and I have excitement AND anxiety about attending my very first one this summer (not BlogHer). It helps to know the experiences of others. I like reading about the “YAY IT WAS THE BEST” experiences. But I’m kind of shy too and hearing your perspective is a huge help.
Fantastic (relatable) advice! Love this!
It’s always such a shame when people come home less interested in blogging. But it definitely happens.
Great tips, Molly!
Wonderful advice! I came back from my first conference aware of how big the blog world is and how small my blog is. After my second conference I felt the same way, but thankful that it is small and not overwhelming.
What great tips
I am going to my first conference this winter (Blissdom,) and I am both excited and a giant ball of nerves. Should I be doing this? Am I crazy? Even though it took you a little bit to decompress, I’m glad you found your groove again, an even more focused one!
Conferences give you a little perspective – its good to go out and meet the voices that you follow. (Sometimes you love them, but sometimes – you do not.) It also gives you a chance to stop, listen, think about your writing and your blogging ideals while watching the big blogging world around you.
and what a great girls get away under the guise of ‘work’ 😉
I think that you and I are a lot alike. I’ve thought about attending BlogHer but the whole thing seems so overwhelming! I really liked hearing your advice. Thank you.
Truthfully, going to a blog conference terrifies he bejeezuz out of me…that’s why I love these recaps of them
Molly, this is BEAUTIFULLY thought out & so true for every conference.
I wish I had it in my back pocket during Blissdom 2011, where I felt so completely out of my element.
Molly this is an awesome post. I am so excited to be attending Blogger 12, but I know that I am going to be SUPER overwhelmed as well. Thank you for being so honest about your experience and sharing it so thoughtfully with us. <3
I’m so glad that you’ve been able to evaluate & see the good as you’ve stepped back & relooked at your BlogHer experience. I really enjoyed our time together in San Diego & hope & welcome the thought of hanging out with you at another blog conference soon!
I’ve only been to one conference and it was much smaller than BlogHer. For me, my networking desires are personal and I met the people I wanted to. I’m so glad.
Great advice, all around. Glad you’re doing better.
Great advice Molly, I have yet to attend a conference but am as scared as I am excited to go some day. I will remember this post.
Such great advice! I came home from my first feeling very overwhelmed. Like I had this list of things that I needed to be doing and I wasn’t doing any of them and didn’t want to… but that that meant I was doing it all wrong.
great advice. I went to my first conference this year. I attended BlogHer and it was overwhelming but a great experience. I agree with seeing what else is out there. There are so many smaller conferences that have so much to offer.
I’m very intimidated to attend a blogging conference for all the reasons you described, to say nothing of my own issues with depression and anxiety. I go through bouts of major blogging insecurity as it is, so the thought of attending a conference overwhelms me. Which is why I think your first point is so important – I definitely think I’d feel more at home at a smaller, lesser-known conference at this point than at BlogHer.
I’ve been checking our your blog and am really impressed – not only are you an excellent writer, your posts are very raw, honest, and brave. That’s a pretty powerful combination.
This is great. I’m going to my first one next fall, because it’s in my town. I’m already thinking about it. I love where you said no matter 20 or 20000 followers, you are a blogger too.
Great advice!
What wonderful advice! This is what happened to me after my first conference – and it was a small one! LOL! Hopefully that won’t happen again after my next conference – big or small!
What wonderful insight to what you can expect at a conference. I’m a newbie blogger and haven’t attended a conference yet, but I have this vision of being a wallflower that is pasted to the wall and not fitting in, which is why I haven’t pulled the plug and committed to going to one just yet.
Thank you for your advice. I just need to grab the bull by the horns and GO!!
Wonderful post! I’ve never attended a BlogHer conference (sigh), and it’s pretty difficult to considering I’m halfway around the planet! I hope that one day, moms like me from other countries can attend those conferences virtually. Anything’s possible!
Your insights, especially about putting yourself first, are spot on. I’m in the process on streamlining by blog; for me, it’s kind of still all over the place. I have to focus on me, and letting my blog be a reflection of me and not of others. I now know to blog for MY sake, and not just to look good in front of people’s computer screens. People want someone they can relate to.
You were being real and authentic, and I have made respect for that. Thanks for writing what you went through; it’s inspired me to really take a look at my blog and make it a true reflection of me, just like yours is.
This is super valuable. Thank you.
I really wish I could attend a blog conference. But my work schedule, finances, and general time don’t lend to it.
Thanks for the great advice!
Thank you for telling us about your experience, Molly. My initial plans were to attend BlogHer, but I ended up not going. I’m glad that I didn’t go because it seems like it was very overwhelming for new conference attendees and I’m sure I would have been one them!
I’m going to Blissdom in February. I’m really excited (even though it’s a long flight for me!) because my “tribe” will be there. I think the support of your blogging friends is really important!
I recently was introduced to you and read your blog and I must say, you are INSPIRING and such a great writer.
I love how you gave us all the pros and cons of going to the conference and I too, really want to go to the smaller ones (like Blissdom and Type A)
You gave it to us in easy to understand language and in a way that showed us how important community really is.
I would love to go to BlogHer but between the cost of it and oh the cost of it I’m not sure I’ll be going. I think that it if I made it there I’d probably be scared to death!
Great tips though!
Reading your words, I could see how overwhelmed and insecure one could feel coming back from a conference. I have toyed with the idea of attending, but I still don’t know if it’s worth it.
Thank you for the tips, feedback, and perspective!