Once upon a time you were a girl who had all the time in the world. Growing up, you probably annoyed your own mother with phrases like, “Are we there yet? How long is it going to take? Why can’t we go right now? Or the infamous, “Ma, I’m bored….”
Bored.
If only I could mouth those words again.
These days, I’m lucky if I have time to brush my teeth since my time seems to be allocated to everyone else. I live around my husband’s work schedule and the same goes for my kids.
So the question then becomes, what happened to MY schedule?
There’s something really irritating about having to ask that last question. Where does that leave us Theta Moms? Apparently, we are everything to everyone else first and I think it’s time that this mantra begins to change.
I have written about this topic on my blog before and it seems to keep reappearing. I’m taking this as a sign that it’s a reminder for you (including myself) to continue to take care of ourselves first.
This begins with cultivating some ‘me’ time. And no, it’s not going to happen unless you make it happen.
My suggestion to bring some quality ‘me’ time back into your life is to write it down. Put yourself back on the calendar and include your ‘me’ time just like you would include any other appointment. You need to take your kid to the dentist and drop your other child off at a friend’s house to swim in the pool and manage to cook a meal sometime in between then before the hubs comes home – well be sure to add your “me” time on your schedule for that day, too. If you have time allotted for those other appointments, you can find some time to do something for YOU as well.
I have found that I really stick to my ‘me’ time if I write it down in my momAgenda. I love both the momAgenda Planner and Home Office Edition, but since I keep the majority of my work/personal schedule in the Home Office Edition, that’s where I will typically add in my “me” time, too.
It may be just 30 minutes to give myself a manicure or 1 hour of uninterrupted brainless tv time. It could be a simple trip to Target (for me NOT the kids) or 20 minutes with a glass of wine and my favorite magazine after I put the kids to bed…regardless, it’s time I am allotting FOR ME and I do my best to stick to it. The real trick is to write it down first along with everything else because then there’s no excuse for not taking the time.
Are some days easier than others to integrate this into my routine? Sure. And are there days in which this won’t happen? Sad, but true. But at least I am making an effort and choosing to put myself back on the calendar because my happiness is just as important as the other members of this family.
And when I’m happy, we’re ALL happy around here.
What’s your take? Do you add some time for yourself to your own planner/schedule? If not, do you think this is something you would consider doing?
Theta Mom® abides by word of mouth marketing standards and believes in honesty of relationship, opinion and identity. As the Brand Ambassador for momAgenda and the Leader of COMM: Council of Media Moms, I am compensated for the work I perform including posts such as this. However, all opinions expressed are purely my own and the content of this post was not influenced in any way.
I’m awful and rarely use a planner…it’s all in my head and somehow I get it all done! “Me” time is hard to come by lately…is it sad that I actually consider work as “Me” time. That’s how much I love what I do!
OhMyGosh Mary, we are polar opposites! I could NOT live without my planner!! It’s the brain behind what keeps this train moving forward every day, I would feel so lost without it…but it’s wonderful that you’ve found something you are passionate about, and in that sense it doesn’t feel like work. 😉
I couldn’t do anything without a planner either! I have it all down in a planner I can carry with me & entered into google calendar so I can pull it up on my iphone!
Good post Heather!
I am so dependent on my planner that I often refer it as my brain! Lol. I’m juggling being a pastor’s wife, mom of two, manager of a women’s gym, and full-time college student, so if its not written down, it doesn’t happen. When life is really hectic, I will write in basic things like workouts so I’m more likely to get them done.
I’m also scheduling an hour at Starbucks each week to relax, check my planner for the upcoming week, put together a meal plan, etc. It makes me feel much calmer and less stressed if I start the week prepared, with a solid plan in place.
So then you are already doing this, that’s awesome Amanda! I love the idea of a Starbucks hour each week, that’s something I think would be perfect for me!
I’m very fortunate to have me time every afternoon when my son goes to his grandparents place for his daily visit. It’s a sanity saver!
You have no idea how lucky you are Alison, that’s AWESOME!
Definately! I signed up my daughter for camp for two reasons. One, so she can meet and socialize with the kids she’ll be starting preschool with in September and two, so I can have two hours to myself in the morning. That’s usually when I blog or workout. Tonight I’m having dinner with girlfriends!
That’s the way to do it Kim! Good for you!!
I am absolutley terrible at scheduling ‘me’ time, almost as bad as I am at scheduling date night. Even when I think to schedule things, life happens – I end up working late, the kids get sick, an unexpected obligation. I need to get better at this. I’m sure I would feel better if I did.
I was, too Katherine until I realized that it won’t happen unless I make a real effort to MAKE it happen. Try it for one week (someting for YOU every day) and see if you can begin to stick with it. Even if it starts out with just 10 minutes and build your way up. It really makes a difference!
I’m so lucky that my husband always offers to watch our son so that I can go out with the girls/go shopping/ or whatever it may be. Secretly I think he loves the time he spends with our son but just wants bonus points with me! 😉
That is total bonus points!!
I can’t live without my planner! One thing I don’t pencil in is ‘me” time. I always do something just for me after the kids go to bed and if I find a free moment during the day to do something for myself, I jump on it.
Me, too! I often find myself finding moments here and there as well…but at least when I force myself to write it down, I know I am carving out time for me and I try to stick to it!
Nap time is my down time. Some day it doesn’t happen even if I schedule it.
I know EXACTLY what you mean! Even when we have the best intentions, they have another plan for us! 😉
To say I love my momAgenda is the understatement of the year(s). I can’t WAIT to get the new one – I usually get mine in August and it’s my little “back to school” me time to start filling it in.
Me too!! It’s like an obsession. Don’t know what I would do without my momAgenda!! Thanks so much for stopping by! 😉
I am reading your blog during today’s me time. Every day my “me time” is defined in different ways and never takes place at the same time of day. . Right now, I’m sitting in my allergist’s office waiting the required 30 minutes after my allergy shot. I’m reading blogs, listening to CNN in the lobby and enjoying a little peace and quiet. So important to have me time!!!
I cannot live without my planner! I write every little thing down and that’s the only way I remember to do it. I would be lost without it! My husband jokes and calls it my ‘Mom Bible’ but it’s true!
Hopefully, once JJ gets six months, I start scheduling in more me time. For now, I’ll stick to my extra time in the shower or solo bubble baths.
I’ve recently recommitted to a regular exercise routine. I love group exercise classes and feel they’re not only the most efficient way for me to work out, but also the best source of motivation. So, I re-joined my old gym (Gold’s) that I quit two year ago in favor of a more local wellness center, which I never really got into. I love Gold’s group exercise program and have now made out a little gym schedule the way I schedule my weekly meal plan – something in writing that I can reference, make time for, and stick to. And other than writing, exercise is the main thing that helps me recharge my batteries, mentally and physically. So, that’s my “me” time.
When I was still working I couldn’t live without my planner. But now that I’m home I have really gotten away from that and as a result I’m a lot less organized. I really need a new planner!
“Me time” isn’t really a problem during the school year, but over the summer it’s really hard to do anything for myself with my kids home all the time. Luckily my husband is great about giving me a break when he’s home from work.
errr.. what is me time? think I’ve forgotten what to do with it !
I can’t tell you how important the “me time” is. I found myself at a dinner party one evening saying “my daughter this and my husband that,” then realized I had nothing to say for myself anymore. My identity was completely lost in theirs, and guess what – kids grow up and husbands are more likely to stick around when their wives are still dynamic individuals too.
A great way to generate “me time” is in using the Personal Chef Approach™ – you can save up to ten hours a week PLUS save money and rest assured your family are eating healthy food that goes from fridge to table in as little as five most nights. Please do come check out my website to learn more about affording yourself the luxury of time.
It took years before I learned to give myself real “me time.” I don’t know if it was because of my peri menopausal mentality, or because my kids became more independent, or because I was just tired of doing for everyone else and not for me.
You should continue to blog on this topic occasionally because it never goes away! There are always new moms that need to hear it.
By the way, the momAgenda would make a perfect gift for a new mother (when her baby sleeps through the night and she has a schedule) who is still trying to figure it all out.
I am a planner, planner, planner….I have a calendar on my computer, a calendar in the kitchen. I give myself LOTS of me time. I wouldn’t survive without it! I workout for an hour 4-5 x a week and run errands by myself on the weekends. I am a lucky, lucky girl…hubs never complains!!
I have learned that the world will not fall apart if I have to remove myself for a few minutes – or 15 up in my bedroom. I will say, “Mommy is going to take a time out.” (when my husband is there). I go upstairs, lay on my bed and just take a moment. I used to not do this, but I’m so glad I do now. When I feel that irritation creeping in. It really helps.
This is SO HARD to do. Usually by the time I get the baby down, get bottles fixed, get myself showered, it’s time for bed and to do it all over again! Last weekend I sat by the new firepit with my husband and drank a beer, and it was the most relaxing thing I think I’ve done for myself in 7 months of motherhood. I agree this is incredibly important.