Today, I’m sharing a collaborative post – an idea I love and don’t get much time to pursue. I couldn’t pass this opportunity up because it’s such an important topic, and quite frankly, I am seeking some quality feedback from you – I could really use your help.
About a week ago, I engaged in a thoughtful dialogue with Gigi from Kludgy Mom. The more we chatted at length, the more we discovered that we’re both in the same place. A good place – full of blessings in many ways, but a place that also has some serious tradeoffs.
We both have been so very, very fortunate in the last year to build out a great freelance writing, social media and marketing career. We’ve each gotten the opportunity to write for some great online publications, work for fun companies, make money, and build up both our resumes and self-confidence.
None of it – NONE of it – would have been possible without our blogs. It has been a wellspring of opportunity, our virtual resume, an online training ground for a return to the workforce.
How did our blogs lead us to these opportunities? Well, we’ve worked extremely hard, every single day, since Day One – like many of you do. We learned about the technical aspects of blogging. We learned about social media. We learned about writing.
Like many of you do.
All of that is fantastic knowledge. But the key is having an audience. We both worked hard to build that, too. We’ve read and commented on dozens of blogs. We interacted on Twitter. We made our blogs a resource for bloggers who were looking to learn. We shared information constantly. We poured out every inch of self into building our tribes, a larger community, and ultimately, a strong readership.
Like many of you do.
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{Heather’s Perspective}: Blogging has literally changed my life. I always knew I had a voice and I wanted that voice to be heard – once I hit publish on that very first post, my blog was born. Little did I know back then that my blog would eventually turn out to be the true beginning of a journey that would lead to some life changing opportunities down the line.
Blogging became a source of my refuge and sanity – an outlet from the daily grind of motherhood.
I reignited a passion for writing.
I engaged in an important dialogue with other mothers.
I suddenly made connections with women from all over the world.
I felt as though I was breaking the silence; that my writing mattered, that I was adhering to a call to action – that I was making a difference.
I was sharing my story and other bloggers were each sharing theirs – and when I met some of these amazing women in real life, it completely solidified the fact that the relationships I was making in the blogosphere were indeed REAL.
Very real.
During this amazing journey, I read tons upon tons of blogs. I met new bloggers daily. I commented on blogs. I had time to email and exchange full length conversations. I tweeted until late in the night…but once my own blog quickly took off, the time that was once dedicated to forming and maintaining these relationships were suddenly replaced with some part-time gigs. With the addition of each new gig, this took some time away from the commenting and the true “core” blogging – the VERY blogging that brought me to this space.
I began to miss my bloggy friends. I missed knowing what was going on in their everyday lives.
I missed my tribe.
I began to feel out of the loop, not able to comment and commit to the kind of blogging upkeep that I once pursued. Yet, at the same time, I was building a new career for myself, one that took precedent over anything else because these were the kind of gigs that put food on the table.
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{Gigi’s Perspective}: We put Herculean effort toward making our blogs a fantastic showcase of what we can do professionally and how much influence and reach we have. And one day, opportunity knocks: a writing gig, a social media job, a marketing contract. One job leads to two leads to four and suddenly, you’re a working blogger.
That same Herculean effort that once got poured into your blog then gets poured into your work. The fantastic writing is now on someone else’s website. Your amazing Twitter engagement is now being done under a company persona. The ideas you had to grow your blog into a business are replaced by ideas for making someone else’s business shine.
Slowly, your personal blog, and everything you’ve built it to be, gets eclipsed because something has to give. You start posting less, or with less quality. You stop responding to comments as much, or at all.
I can take most of the tradeoffs in stride. It’s important to my family financially right now that I work. But there are some things I really miss. I miss my circle of blogging friends – diverse, dynamic, funny and supportive, they have helped contribute to my well-being and success, and I, theirs.
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So, both of us are left wondering – how do we bridge the gap between maintaining our successful blogs and the amazing relationships with the tribes we’ve cultivated while still hanging onto the ability to freelance and work as professional bloggers? If you are a working blogger, how do you find the time to manage it all? How do you keep those relationships within your tribe going? Once we reach a certain point in blogging, can we really have it both ways?
Ladies you read my mind once again! I am in the same position as you are in and it’s been weighting on me lately. I used to have time to read tons of blogs, comment, converse on twitter and I absolutely enjoyed every moment of it. But now with two jobs, kids that are home with me all day & life in general. I feel extremely lucky like the both of you to land social media jobs but it’s hard to keep up with everything else {I’m working to the wee hours in the night}. I have all of these great posts in my head, but when it comes time to write them I’m exhausted. I feel horrible I can’t comment on as many blogs as I used to and lately I’ve been feeling very exhausted. So I have no advice, the only thing I am trying to do is not put pressure on myself. I realized I was getting consumed w/ work and I’ve decided I need to slow down & be present for the kids. I am hoping that in September it will get a little bit easier {crossing fingers}.
Oh, ladies!! This is IT!!!
I have been struggling with this very thing for the past month and so glad to hear I am not the only one!
The writing gigs are now flowing in (thankfully!), and you nailed it. I feel out of the loop. I am trying to do it all but I am exhausted. How do you choose which has to give? How do some bloggers seem to do it all?
I cannot be on the computer 24/7…my family deserves some ‘mom’ & ‘wife’ time…I deserve that too. This stress has brought me to the brink of giving up many times…but I take a day or two and it seems to pan itself out….
I will e curius to read the responses you have today…
I just wrote a post of my own over at Gigi’s blog, so I’ll simply say here I totally get this! You kind of burst my bubble a little though, Watching you two, I always thought you had it all figured out. 😉
It’s really tough, and I don’t have a solution to offer. With the growth of The Mom Pledge, I am experiencing everything you are talking about, and trying desperately to figure it out while keeping my head above water.
Above all, I think you should both celebrate and be proud of your success. You’ve earned it. And you’re doing amazing things!
None of us do it ALL – something has to give and I guess that’s what started this whole discussion in the first place. We are NOT the first to experience this or the last…just thought it needed to be put out there for us to HONESTLY talk about.
This is such a great topic and discussion. It is interesting because as an avid blog reader I can always tell when the author starts getting more paid jobs for their blog – either they post less or it turns into a lot of sponsored content about things that don’t interest me – so then the very reason I loved their blog disappears and I rarely read them anymore. I also know how much our blogs are like our children and to see them change into something perhaps not true to ourselves and the reason we started blogging can cause some strong emotions. Such a tough balance.
Love this so much and you two are the perfect ones to bring this topic to the forefront. xoxo
Tracy – you have know idea how much your comment means to me right now – YOU are the VERY kind of blogger I’m referencing in this post; one that ALWAYS has my back and one that I wish I could visit more often. But your thoughtful remark here reminds me that we DO have a great connection, that you ARE part of my tribe and will be there for me – no matter what.
xoxo
I COMPLETELY agree with this, Tracy. I also can’t stand to see bloggers I once loved start churning out sponsored post after sponsored post. The very reason my favorite blogs are my favorite blogs is because there’s something about them to which I’ve connected. And when the overall vibe changes, I find myself losing interest.
This is the very reason I struggle with monetizing my own blog. Ads are one thing, but the thought of doing sponsored posts makes me itch. I WANT to make money, and if I can do it through my blog – something I love and feel passionately about – all the better. But I want to stay true to myself (and my readers) and maintain my integrity in the process. I’m just not sure there’s a way to do that AND incorporate regular sponsored posts at the same time – unless it happens to be THE perfect brand that meshes seamlessly with your personal values and ideals and writing style. And that’s pretty hard to come by.
Therefore, you’re forced to look at outside opportunities to bring in revenue. But then that also shifts your focus and takes time away from your blog.
So, either way your blog suffers.
I enjoyed reading this, and I can only comment from the “other” side
Although my blog itself isn’t “new”, I am really now starting my journey into social media and hopefully some freelance opportunities down the line. I don’t exactly know where my path will lead. I am at the point where I do a lot of reading, as much commenting as possible, and tweeting when I have the chance (as I have the only non-smart phone left in the universe, I think. The Smithsonian called about it the other day.)
I think that it’s inevitable that something has to fall by the wayside at some point. I spend a lot of time “working” on my blog and my writing, and I don’t even have nearly the audience (or freelance deadlines) that many bloggers have. I can’t imagine the time constraints that both you and Gigi have to work with.
Although I am newer and not really a part of the tribe to which you’re referring, I would venture to guess that the people with whom you’ve truly connected will understand that your time is limited and can only be split in so many ways before your product and relationships begin to suffer. It’s almost like when you have your first baby, and you realize that some of your “friends” were really just acquaintances, and those relationships fade away. Your real friends, your real tribe, however, understand that you are doing your best and appreciate the time that you do spend on cultivating those relationships, even if they look different than they have in the past.
You ladies have both built amazing things, and you should be proud to be the faces of your brands and role models for women in writing and social media.
I LOVE this comment Angela. Every single ounce of it – and you ARE a part of my tribe, because you are here.
xoxoxo
Angela has said exactly what I was thinking, so I won’t reiterate!
Also, although I haven’t followed either you or Gigi very long, as a reader I still feel like you are involved. That you are both still putting the effort in. Sure you can’t put as much time in, maybe you can’t have lengthy Twitter conversation as much anymore but this can often be said of anything in life. An opportunity comes up, you take it and something in your life loses the time it used to get. As a reader, I am not feeling shortchanged
And Angela, you are not alone with no smartphone. I do not have one either
You hit the nail on the head with your comment Angela. Especially for how I feel and I’m sure many other “getting our feet wet” blogs.
I think if Theta Mom and Gigi have built up Tribes, those readers will not go by the wayside because to be part of the tribe, those readers are loyal. If the content of the blog stays the same, I don’t think anyone would leave.
Theta Mom~ I think that your hard work into building your blog has paid off and whatever direction you go with more freelance writing and gigs, your readers will stay.
Thank you so much for this post. I am not nearly as busy as the both of you, but things are picking up slowly. I feel that there is no path, like in college where you know your major, jump through the hoops and *poof* – grauduation. I appreciate posts like this very much. Thank you!
I think whether we are working bloggers or just working moms in general it is always hard to try and find this balance. Hopefully the community and relationships we have built understand that while we don’t get to comment as much or visit as much as we like, that the relationship is still there. I would rather see a post every so often that is sincere and meaningful than something thrown together for the sake of posting and trying to “keep up”. We are not super women and sometimes we all have to make choices.
I love this. I can tell when something has been posted just for the sake of posting. There’s no way I could write every day, so I don’t. I post when I want to, not according to some schedule.
YES! I second both what Barbara and MommaKiss said. Like I commented below, I have opted to post fewer times a week instead of rushing to throw something – anything – up.
I feel like this is one thing I have right so far. I know lots of articles say you should post five days a week but I feel stressed and rushed if I try. And the one week where I put a lot of pressure to do so, I posted once! So I post as I can and feel that if my posts are good it won’t matter to my readers if I post twice a week or ten times. I want my blog to be comfortable for me, not what someone else feels it should be.
This post really resonates with me. I started blogging more consistently when I was also writing for a print publication – now I’ve begun writing for a few more websites and publications and I do find that my blog is often the thing that gets the short end. And you’re right, my writing is now elsewhere building up the websites of others and while I love that and I’m learning so much – I do have aspirations to build up my own at some point but finding the time to make that happen has become harder because I am committed to other things right now. But like Angela said, “real” friends and “real” tribe-mates will still be there for the long haul. This is an unending struggle for many of us. I think you have to balance it as best as you can, and know that you are doing what you can to nurture your relationships but that prioritizing the financial needs of your family is definitely ok.
Heather,
I am going to copy & paste my comment to Gigi right here. Thanks for this thought provoking post!
Ladies,
All I can say is, “I hear ya.” I am at that exact crossroads myself. I love ALL I do but there are only 24 hours in a day. I have an incredible day job that allows me to mix it up in social media but doesn’t allow for a lot of time to create new, exciting content for my blog. A double edge sword if you will.
The 1 thing I have started doing is selectively choosing where I freelance now. Where as before, I would jump at any opportunity. Now, I flat out don’t have the time. I hate passing things up, what perhaps this will also build my patience. Ha! I adore you both & consider you guys to be role models.
I think it’s so common for bloggers to branch out after blogging for a while, and everyone needs to “make room” for a new project by lightening their current load. Otherwise, no one would ever be able to do something new.
I think about this a lot as things have been growing greatly for Eli Rose. I’m adding a caveat in here that this is my take NOW and it may change 3 months, 6 months, a year down the road. I feel like I’d rather post less on my blog (which I have been doing) and attempt to maintain my level of engagement with my readers, than post full time knowing that I have no way to visit and comment back 5 days a week.
My other thought…even though I am part of a few communities where sponsored opportunities are a-plenty, I don’t apply for nearly the # of paid opportunities now that I used to. If I’m posting less, I don’t want my content to be overcome by sponsored posts.
These are the 2 ways I’m currently choosing to tackle the perpetual “blog-work balance” challenge.
I totally get this, but part of my wonders what WILL happen months from now. For instance, I was posting at a minimum 4x per week (including weekends). Then, I ditched the weekends…then, the 4x a week went down to 3x a week….and now I am pretty much on a 2x a week schedule…
I know. Like I said, this is what works for me *now*.
Having been to Type A, where some people have been doing this for 5+ years (and have sold their blogs to others!), I see how they have gotten to the point where they post maybe once a week on their own blog but really spend all their time on their other projects.
For you that won’t work because your “other projects” are tied into “Theta Mom”. My only other idea would be to bring on someone to work with you. Kristin and I have been so busy at Eli Rose that we’ve already hired 2 more people! We would have had to turn away work if we hadn’t brought on those 2 women.
I know you wanted some ideas, and I’m not saying that’s the right answer for you; just sharing how we’ve dealt with growth thus far.
I honestly believe that you should embrace your success and understand that your TRUE tribe will be around, whenever you need them.
Yes this is very true – whether we are posting/reading/commenting every day or not – we are still there for support. xo
I pray I can get to the point where I am freelance writing (it’s my very secret dream ;-). I have a full time job, however and having to make time is challenging on the best days.
What keeps me coming back is simple: relationships. I think of my readers when I’m stressed, or when something’s going on and I can’t get to blogging. I try to maintain the communication going either on the FB fan page or Twitter. Twitter has really allowed me to maintain my relationships. I use TweetDeck so I can open the window, look at my accounts and either quickly give an update (overwhelmed right now! When will I have time to blog) or reach out to one of my readers in response to what they wrote. I think having those quick interactions get me through the day because I don’t feel so far removed from my blogging.
Not to say I don’t go days without touching my blog out of pure exhaustion but, I feel like I maintain the relationships by “tickling” my readers through the day if things aren’t too crazy. Hope that helps. Now back to the juggling act! 😉
I’m just going to re-post the same comment i left over at Gigi’s:
I swear, this post could have been titled, “How To Succeed At Freelancing Without Losing Your Tribe, Kristin.”
This is something I struggle with daily – how I want to use my blog, where I want to take it, where I want IT to take ME, and what I’ll do if and when I finally get there.
I want to be a writer. Writing is my joy and my talent and my gift – because I’m proud to admit that I’m good at it – and I want to do it for a living. I just don’t know where to begin outside my blog, or even in what capacity I’d like to do it. Magazine work? Online publications? Copywriting? Social media? I have no idea.
And I sometimes wonder – will I ever feel as passionately about any paid job – writing or otherwise – as I do about this little space I’ve built and grown? Only, that little space doesn’t put food on the table. So, how do I go about combining the two – my blog and a steady income? And CAN it even be done?
Or is there always going to be a trade-off?
I think with anything else in life, there IS a tradeoff, and what that is? I’m not sure…but something ends up suffering. We CAN’T do it all and anyone who says that they can isn’t sharing the whole truth. I say continue to do what makes YOU happy – so if that’s writing – do it, but perhaps don’t do it as often and see if that helps free some time up to pursue other opportunities.
That’s what I keep coming back to as well. I plan to try that in the fall, once vacations are over and my editorial calendar isn’t so full. Maybe go from blogging three times a week to two. Which worries me a little, truthfully. I admit I love seeing my Alexa rank go up. Sad but true.
Anyway, I made the acquaintance of a local lifestyle magazine today and she asked me to submit some ideas for her winter and spring issues. So, I want to try to shift some of my focus from blogging to more professional writing this fall. Because in the end, what good is breaking my back over my blog if I’m not going to pursue any of the doors it’s opening up for me?
Thanks for your insight, Heather. Always appreciated.
Wow, Kristin, I could have written this exact comment. It sounds like you and I are in the very same boat: with limited time in the day, how can I balance the blogging I love with the writing that I also love and that will (hopefully) help pay the bills?
If you figure out the answer to that question, let me know! 😉
I really like what Liz had to say. I struggled for the last 6 months with more-so the blogging side of things (I don’t have a successful side job or social media gig). But what Liz said opened up my eyes. Continuing to engage with your readers thru “easier” things like twitter, facebook, etc might be the way to go. I can’t tell you how many times I felt like some bloggers just stopped tweeting WITH me and then I don’t visit their blog nearly as much… it’s true. But by posting only a few days a week, it allows me to take a couple nights a week to fully devote to commenting on blogs… at least that’s what I need to get back to doing. b/c after all, if i create content, but no body visits b/c i’m not visiting them, then it’s all for naught.
can you devote one or two hours a week to commenting and continuing to build that relationship??
didn’t mean to hit reply in response to Julia’s comment but to add to the thread generally…but here are my thoughts:
I’ve chosen to read blogs via what I see on Twitter. I don’t open up my google reader anymore because it’s too daunting. Do I read as many as I want to? No. Do I visit my friends’ blogs as much as they visit mine? No. It is hard to get past the guilt of that, and that’s what I truly struggle with.
I still choose to post every weekday because I still have a lot to say…and most of it is still quality, not just throwing something up there like another commenter suggested. Even if I didn’t post every day I still wouldn’t have more time to read/comment on blogs, I’d just work more because I have that much work on my plate.That’s the way I do things. It’s sick, but true!
I believe that there is a difference, too, between being a paid freelancer and/or running a business that has client deadlines, and running a side business on your own that you can grow at its own pace with no one breathing down your neck. That gives you much more flexibility to pick and choose where you spend your time. If I have a free moment, I’m going to spend it with my kids, not chatting on Twitter for hours on end in the hopes of building up my “community.”
I believe that readership is dynamic; there is a core group of people who will always read you – not every day necessarily, but they do check in when they can – and then the rest is fluid and changing. I need to learn to be okay with that, too.
The relationships I’ve developed that have translated into “real life” help buoy me through some of these challenges. I know that I have made some lifelong friends, blog statistics be damned!
Gigi, i do a lot of my blog reading thru twitter too! I”m glad i’m not the only one! I don’t open up my reader either. and the blogs I really don’t want to miss, I subscribe by email. if i don’t have time to read, i’ll browse or just delete. no offense, but i’m not going to let my inbox take over b/c of unread blog posts.
it is so fluid and changing. when i was getting more visits, I was commenting and visiting more. but it’s really tough to stay on top of it all when I’m at work the bulk of my day (and the other hours with the kids). but for bloggers like you, Gigi and Heather, you’ve built up a big enough readership that people will continue to come, no matter if you visit or not. 95% of bloggers will get readers if/when they visit/comment, but once they stop visiting, they stop getting visits as well. (i had this convo with another blogger the other day).
just like i’ve unsubscribed from blogs that don’t interest me anymore, people are going to stop reading mine as well.
back to the original post… if you miss your blogging community, then either way, i think it’s something you need to make time for. if someone wants to continue doing freelance and side jobs, then something will eventually take a back seat, no?
it’s hard to balance it for all of us… whether we’re SAHM, WAHM, Work out o the home moms, etc. i think in the end, we all end up in the same boat… we want loyal readers, we want visits, we want to create good content that people will LOVE to read…. but we still have kids and families and jobs to tend to…. it’s tough finding the balance.
Thanks so much for ALWAYS being here Julia, you are certainly another one of those bloggers I’m thinking about through a post like this! But, the sad reality is, I don’t have the time (I’m lucky I can even respond to these comments) because I am now running a small biz – and I know there are many other bloggers in this position through freelancing that begin to feel a real struggle to “maintain it all.”
All I can say is thank you for being here and for being a part of my tribe. THAT will never change.
Thanks, Julia! Everyone proceeds how they want to, and that’s their choice. These 2 women said they wanted suggestions, so I gave the 2 things that have been working for me up to this point.
I did want to point out, though, that while I do think Twitter is great, what I meant was actually blog hopping. I, too, don’t think that chatting endlessly on Twitter in hopes of building a community is how my time should be spent. Community *growth* isn’t typically something someone who wants to branch out to other projects, focuses on. When you have clients to follow up with and service, you can get a lot of work knocked out if you turn off Twitter.
Gigi and Heather, you gals should be PROUD of what you’ve built!! And all the other women who have built small biz’s from their blogs!! like i said, it’s tough to balance it all!!
I guess I don’t have much suggestions, other than to say that all you gals have tons of support!!
I am praying I have a similar problem one of these days.
But whether it’s freelance work or the work of life, I find it’s all about balance. Granted, that’s not saying balance is easy. It’s not. At all. We *can* do everything; just not all at once. And if we are doing it all at once, something is not getting the attention it deserves. So we ebb and flow, we make choices – often difficult ones – to put our energy where it’s most needed. Balance today looks different than it might two months from now, and then it will again be different six months from now.
I’d like to believe that the beauty of blogging is that you DO get to make some real relationships. Sure, there are readers that come and go, but there are those who become an extended – albeit online – family. And like real family, things aren’t always perfect, but we’re there when it counts. Sometimes I can’t post or read or comment as much as I like; my family needs me more than the blog does. But as soon as I can, I am back, checking in and reconnecting.
I do this as much as I can, too Missy and the theme I am sensing through these comments is that if you have a REAL connection with others, they will continue to return to your blog.
I just went through this. I called it my blog mid-life crisis. I actually had a frugal living blog, http://www.frugalday.com It was draining the life out of me and taking away the time I had with my daughter. That is why I was staying home, to be with her. But I needed something for me. Last month I tore apart my blog and found what I could do LESS but still keep my readers interested. I managed to free up about 25 hours a week by cutting out one major feature. So far, I haven’t seen any repercussions. I also started NoThankYouPlease.com as an away to connect with my daughter. Now I’ve found a happy place. I spend more time with my family and don’t have the stress of what has to be done. I’ve also managed to keep up the nice income that comes with it.
Sorry it cut off at the main point! Now that I’m happier, my “tribe” seems to be too. I’m getting more connections on FB and Twitter yes, but those that have been with me since the beginning understand my ups and downs. When you have real relationships with your readers, they’ll stay. They also understand you can’t be there all the time. I think the most important aspect of the relationship is to tell them what’s going on. That’s what I did. I wrote a post like I was talking to my friend over coffee, letting them know why I was shaking things up a bit. I got nothing but love and support in return.
“When you have real relationships with your readers, they’ll stay,” <—-I have sensed this exact theme throughout the comments here.
I’ve had just a small taste of this recently and I already felt overwhelmed. It is difficult to do it all, especially when you have needy little kids, too, and other personal obligations needing your attention first and foremost on top of everything else.
First of all…I’m LOVING your new look, Heather! It really suits you and where you’ve come and where you are headed, my friend.
Ok, now onto the post. I am SO happy to have people like you and Gigi who GET IT. I went from spending hours on my own blog and building relationships…to taking on two freelance writing gigs and one social media gig. Between all of them, I’m pretty much a full-time WAHM…and there are days when I don’t know how to keep a good balance between my job…and my passion.
I know I’ve lost readers, followers, etc…but at the same time, I’ve worked so hard to get where I am, and I love the work that I do. I’d love to have an extra few hours each day to respond/return every comment, and read a bunch of other blogs, but at the end of the day I have to do what is right for me and my family, and that means furthering my career and contributing to the household income.
Some bloggers are so understanding about how your blogging career evolves…and others are not.
I think we are all just doing the best we can…and the people who truly love us will stick around for the long haul!
Amen, Mary!!!
We all have to make tradeoffs….every single one of us.
And I do not believe that you have to be a voracious commenter to be a supportive blogger and active member of the blogging community. I try to reach out in other ways, like reading posts that I see in my twitter stream, or answering people’s technical questions, or now with my video blogging tutorials. I help a lot of people behind in the scenes, which I believe in the end is more meaningful than leaving a one sentence comment on someone’s blog that illustrates I only skimmed their post anyway.
I have to believe that people appreciate contribution, no matter what form it comes in.
I commented at Gigi’s too. And in the time it’s taken me to get over here (a bathroom trip, yogurt break and laundry change), I’ve thought of NEW things to say! I haven’t “been with” the two of you for a long time to see a change (I discovered you two in the last 3 months), but I can tell you that you are still connecting – through the writing itself. You are an inspiration to many and you are helping people every day.
I have some significant volunteer roles I’m in IRL right now, so understand the difficulty of balancing it all and I know there will be trade-offs once these roles get reduced. It’s a trade-off I’m ready for, though, as I’m ready to embark on a new goal in life. As I do that, and think about it, and plan for it, I get amazing guidance from these two blogs.
So thank you for that. And keep up the good work. Including taking time for yourself as much as you can. It’s important.
“but I can tell you that you are still connecting – through the writing itself. You are an inspiration to many and you are helping people every day.” <—-Thank you SO much for pointing that out Missy. I do hope that sharing content such as this opens the door to a real dialogue and that is certianly something I think my readers appreciate, which is perhaps why they continue to come back.
You know, the same could be said of mothers who work outside the home full time. I work all day for my company and I’m fortunate that I can do a little blogging, commenting, etc. while I’m here. When i’m at home, I’m spending time with my son that I don’t get while I’m at work. After he goes to bed, i get to do some more blogging/Tweeting, but I also can’t neglect my husband. So that something that needs to give is often my blog…on my list of priorities, that’s the thing that has to be at the bottom…the job pays our mortgage, my family is the most important thing. It’s really hard sometimes to see blogs grow and become successful when I try SO HARD with mine and it goes no where because I don’t have the time to nurture my tribe like I need to to become successful. My blog is my outlet and I love the relationships I made, but i’m almost coming to the conclusion that I’ll never get anywhere with it because I can’t focus my full effort. I don’t have the solution, but glad you’re talking about this.
I agree..I have no idea how women who work outside the home full time can maintain a blog at all. I truly cannot imagine the difficulty in doing so. It’s *only* that I work from home that I even have a remote stab at keeping mine up. I really admire the people that can…I don’t know that I’d be up to that challenge!
In the end, something’s gotta give.
You know, I really and truly thought I was crazy for thinking it was hard for me….thank you for saying this. I mean it.
Amanda – if it helps any, I gave up my Adjunct Professor CAREER to do this full-time, and I would NOT, *NOT* have been able to do so without focusing only on this. I knew that if I was really going to start a business, I had to be in it 110% – so instead of beating yourself up, I would give you a high five for coming this far managing it all!
Out of the home working mom here. It’s such a crazy balance act. Every single day.
Oh I’m right there with you ladies! I struggle EVERY SINGLE DAY with trying to figure it out. My kids are in preschool in the morning which helps but I work every night trying to fit it all in. I don’t visit blogs nearly as much as I used to.
I’m like Liz– I post fewer times per week but give it my all and respond to comments, etc. I call it letting posts simmer– I find I get more comments & engagement than if I posted every day anyway. They simmer and more people see them instead of getting pushed out by the next post.
Right now, I’m also trying to close social media apps for part of the day and focus on working. My goal is to get around to posting more on others’ blogs. I’ve started looking at my RSS reader more lately and picking things to comment on, to share, etc. I’ve learned to let go of the fact that I don’t have to share, comment, RT and stumble a post I like…. just chose one and move on!
Thanks for writing about this. It’s obviously something many of us struggle with!
I think it depends why you blog. Some people want to make money off their blog – whether it’s through sponsored posts, working with brands, etc. Others want to use their blog as a springboard to other paid opportunities.
Neither is better or worse. But both come with a cost. And that cost is readers. People get tired of sponsored posts, and they also lose interest if the blogger never reads their blogs or answers as comment.
But the benefits? Monetary, obviously. And also using our skills in different ways.
Different things work for different people. It’s pretty awesome though that blogging has made these types of discussions possible.
Whoa. So much to consider here. The post was one thing, but all the comments too.
For me, it’s all about quality over quantity. I’d rather see a thoughtful post once a week than stuff that’s obviously just thrown out for the sake of pageviews. As Gigi pointed out in one of the comments above, posting TO bloggers and trying to add something to the blogsphere is another way of keeping a sense of community flowing – not just a handful “great post!” comments on various blogs or a few RT’s for the sake of keeping your name out there in the Twitter stream. Sharing, teaching, trying to address a need your readers may have – quality of engagement is what matters.
And I think it’s safe to say that the readers and friends who truly care will be okay with seeing less of you – they might even admire your opportunities and be inspired to strive to make things happen for themselves.
As for me, I only have a couple of unpaid gigs and one paid gig…so far. 😉 I wonder if I’ll be able to practice what I preach further down the line.
one more thing… this is eerily similar to the book i’m reading now “The New Perfect: Finding happiness in modern motherhood” by @beckyinbalance and @holleeinbalance. Talks a lot about “having it all”… and how each of us have different definitions of having it all. But in the end, all the women in the book were happy with their decision.
While I am not a ‘working blogger’ I do have a full time job (with rather crazy hours at times…)
I have been fortunate to meet some amazing people as well, several of them gave me opportunities to guest and contribute. And I have tweeted my tail feathers off.
As far as the question at hand, the best advice I have been given is to budget your time. Schedule time (daily, weekly, whatever) to visit the blogs you read and catch up. Use that half hour or hour a week to comment or share an extra time or two.
When you get the level that you and Gigi are at, most things are scheduled anyway, so this should not be a hard task. You could even pencil this time in over your morning coffee before the kids are up. Too easy.
Congrats to both of you on your successes, by the way!
It’s so difficult to find a balance….I mean, making money while doing something you love like writing and sharing your valued thoughts and opinions with the world is a dream come true. But then you miss the personal connections with your readers that you once shared and had time for.
You both are very successful at what you do and have big followings because you worked hard to reach that goal. Yet I understand that it does come with a price.
I obviously don’t have any answers. Just stay true to yourself and do what makes YOU happy!
I would love to have this problem. Ok, I actually do have this problem, I am just not getting any money for it. I must be doing something wrong.
I work full time (as a teacher so Sept-May) so most of the year I have this balancing act issue. When i am home in the summer or on breaks, I seem to put most of my energy into my own blog and spending time with Eddie, leaving little time to make it to other blogs and pursue money-making writing stuff that I REALLY want to do too. But where is the time?
Soon I will NEED to find something with all the cuts in my teacher pay…but I don’t look forward this juggling act getting more difficult.
I agree with what many have said here though…if bloggers are truly in your Tribe? They will stay. In fact, I feel that I have bloggers in my tribe who rarely make it to my blog anymore because they are so busy with other things. I don’t stop reading their blogs…because I love their writing…and I don’t quit interacting with them…because they are now my TRIBE. My friends.
Oh what a great post! It is so hard to balance family, work and maintain a quality blog. You ladies are balancing all of these things PLUS your new ventures. I am just starting to get a taste of that and already I know excactly to which you refer. I will lie in bed at night feeling guilty because I have not commented on enough blogs, interacted enough on twitter, or put my kids off for “just five more minutes while Mommy sends one more e-mail”. I need a clone:)
I for one think you are doing a fabulous job and anyone who reads your blogs will keep coming back for the content.
If you do figure out the magic balancing act that allows for more then 6 hours of sleep a night and pride in our work, please let me know!
Stephanie
I am so grateful to you, Heather, for hosting this discussion and to you, Gigi, for participating in it. I also feel so fortunate to hear the perspective of all of the wise commenters who have shared their experiences here.
I don’t have much to add – just starting out, as I am, pursuing paid writing opportunities outside of blogging – but I did want you to know, Heather, how gracefully I think you manage to stay connected with your readers despite how busy you are. Your presence on Twitter, especially, is warm, personal, and insightful. You’ve got a gift for this, my friend, and are deserving of all of your success.
“Your presence on Twitter, especially, is warm, personal, and insightful. You’ve got a gift for this, my friend, and are deserving of all of your success.” <—–There are no words to let you know how this makes me feel. Thank you Kristen, for taking the time to be here and for coming back again and again.
I’ve been blogging about 6 months now and I am starting to get to the point where I understand what you mean in this post. In the beginning I spent most of my time just finding blogs to read and comment but that was it. But now, I’m working, my blog is growing, it’s harder to find time to do everything. I don’t have any answers or magic solution for you but I think that you have built a wonderful community and the true people in your tribe will stick around as you grow.
My humble opinion? No, you can’t have it all. I have been typing about 12 responses to this (I may need to do a whole post about this actually- y’all know how to bring up a good topic!). We blog because we want to connect and we want validation- otherwise, we would never hit publish. Growing a blog and creating and becoming a part of a community is such a valuable thing and it’s amazing. But when professional opportunities come, it’s the ultimate validation. At the most basic of levels, someone else acknowledges you know what the heck you are doing. That’s when you make your choice- professional or personal?
This is the hard choice that has to be made. Are your professional opportunities heading where you ultimately want to go? Would you have better options if you focused more on growing your blog? It is a tough thing to contemplate and can be hard to answer- it’s also extremely personal. Everyone will have a different response, a different reaction.
Working in social media is just that- social. It requires time, commitment, energy- all that you used to be able to pour into your blog. Your tribe will change drastically. You can only expect so much from a community when you can’t give back the same. It can be frustrating when blogging is what you started with, but at the end of the day, it’s about where you really want to go.
(Ps I’m cross-posting this
)
“Are your professional opportunities heading where you ultimately want to go? Would you have better options if you focused more on growing your blog?” <—-In my opinion, either way, you would still have the time issue and the amount required to sustain the kind of upkeep/readership you once held…I guess my point is, when you begin writing more, even if it's on your OWN blog, you may not have the time to dedicate to nurturing the relationships you once had the time to – I think I may be rambling and not sure if my point is coming across, but in my mind – whether personal or professional, if you are trying to get from point A to point B, you won't have the same time to dedicate to it like you once did – because you are pursuing other interests, even if that includes growing your blog.
What I've learned from your comment and from so many others Ashley, is that people will continue to return to a blog if there is a REAL connection. You are certainly one of those bloggers whom this post is referenced – the kind of reader who has been with me from early on and one I think will be with me in the future, because you most certainly are a part of my tribe – and I am always here for you as well.
xoxo
I’m so very new to blogging that I’m just getting my toes wet. But I wanted to let you know that you two women are an amazing inspiration. Not for what your blog has done for you and for your families monetarily (that is beyond wonderful of course), but for the actual tribes you’ve created themselves. It is the tribe I seek.
I’m reminded of the saying “it takes a village to raise a family”. In this day and age where everyone is basically EVERYWHERE in the world, I think the blogosphere is our virtual “village”. In the very short time since I’ve started my very first blog, I’ve discovered that I’m not alone in how I think, feel, and even how I parent my children. That there are others out there who have fantastic parenting ideas I’ve never thought of before, brand new meals I’ve never tried, and new perspectives on life I’ve never considered.
So while I have no advice on how to have it all, I want to commend you both for all that you have done. For the tribes you have established. For the people you’ve helped and inspired.
Thank you for all you do and keep it up! You guys are fantastic!
Great topic, ladies! I understand b/c I have a wah job, too. Between that and the kids, I find myself with very little free time. I look at my blog as my sanity-saver. It’s where I can say what I want and have conversations with bloggers who have become my friends. If that aspect of my life were gone, I’d feel like a piece of me was missing.
But, I do have to help support my family and that is why I have to put my job first. And because I love my family, I will spend time with them instead of always on the computer.
I also get that if I can’t give back to those who show me support, then they aren’t all going to stick around. I try my hardest to visit with people who made time for me. Because to me, community is a two way street.
I say this: if freelance is something you love to do, then don’t give it up. You have to put some systems in place that free your time and you may have to hire a VA if you don’t have one already. But no matter what, never sacrifice what you love.
Clearly so many writers and bloggers can identify with this struggle. I’m in the midst of it myself. On the one hand, my blog is my baby…my launching pad for all that has come my way so far. I don’t want to let that slip. I’ve already had to cut down my time reading, commenting, etc.
It’s tough. A constant struggle. To know what offers to accept, what to politely decline, and how to hold on to your baby (blog) that made it all possible.
BTW, You hold a very special place in my heart and always will. Gigi too. I’ve always felt you both were hugely supportive and encouraging when I started out. So let me take this opportunity to publicly say a huge THANK YOU! You both are amazing, hard-working women who inspire and are deserving of all success that comes your way!
Melissa, THIS is exactly why I am still here. Your comment validates the very reason I continue to hit that publish button – because my words, somewhere for someone still DO matter.
Thank you for being such an important part of this journey – I think it’s the REAL connections that motivate us to continue blogging, like this one.
xoxo
I started blogging a little over a year ago because I was lonely, and desperate for community. As a stay at home mom, whose children are in school all day and in sports all night, I am overwhelmed with time during the day and yet I feel like I get nothing done. I write to fill in the gaps, to be reminded why I became a mother, to encourage others to hang in there even on the toughest days, and to find more of myself buried in the daily tasks. The older I get, the less I worry about what others think of me and more about what I think of myself. The biggest challenge in that – is figuring out how I see myself…and blogging/writing bridges that gap as I see myself through other people’s eyes.
I have not figured out how to transition from hobby writer to professional writer, but people like you & Gigi inspire me. Many of us read your words and feel closer to normal, so even if we don’t always comment, please know that we’re here, standing on the sidelines, soaking it all in, and trying to apply what we can. Your tribe is all around you, all the time.
Emily – “please know that we’re here, standing on the sidelines, soaking it all in, and trying to apply what we can. Your tribe is all around you, all the time.” <—-YOU just reminded me that it doesn't matter how many comments you receive, it matters that you still can connect with your readers – having a REAL connection keeps them coming back for more.
Thanks so much for being here – and for being part of my tribe.
This post really resonated with me even though I’m not at the point some of you are with blogging (I’ve only been at this for 6 months now). I am starting to work on some other projects and wonder what will have to give- I’m spread thin already. This gives me a lot to think about.
Your success here? Is amazing. I love it…don’t change, I ain’t going NO where.
Recently I have taken on some *paid opportunities* that were available to me because of my blog. That is awesome. Finding a balance is hard…writing posts that are ME (which I always do), writing sponsored posts…and then of course spending time on Twitter (my love).
If an opportunity came to me (like writing for someone else online, etc…) came to me and I had the chance to be a WAHM? I would be all over it.
I think it boils down to what works best for YOU and what is BEST for your family.
Your tribe will always be here!
#JustSayin
And I couldn’t imagine my tribe without you. #justsayin
I am not working blogger. I am SAHM but, I feel like I need to share my story here. When I first started to blogg I would post a picture or two and almost no words. English is not my first language and my blog was just for displaying my photography. I was afraid to write but I need something more than just facebook or flickr for my pictures. I wanted to connect with photographers, photography passionates, etc. After a few months my blog become more about my life as a new (and a first time) mother (everything reflected in photographs, of course). I felt more open to write and share my thoughts. I discovered different kinds of link-ups, moms online communities and I was thrilled. I saw what people are blogging about, and I thought: “I can do that”. Not only I can take good pictures of something and share it, but I can cook, bake, crochet, take pictures of it, and share recipes, patterns, etc. I started getting comments from not only my old friends but, from new readers from around the globe. For me 100 visitores per day is such an amazing score
I could’t have dreamed about it when I first started blogging.
But… I had a down days, as well. After a while I fell into a hole of “feeling like I MUST” to blogg almost every single day in order to not to lose my readers. I felt terrible. I took almost 2 weeks break. I thought that the only way to feel better is to stop blogging completely. My friends were asking me how I can manage all of “that”. What they ment is how I can manage being a mom, wife, and A BLOGGER. Non of my “in real life” friends blogg. For me is a pleasure, and “ME TIME” where I can get away from cooking, baking, cleaning, changing diapers, etc.
A few days ago I signed to socialspark where they help you to connect with companies that might be interested in advertising on you blogg. Since then I’ve been thinking if I really want to do that?!
I worked hard to get where I am. Despite my misspelings, sometimes funny writing style (read: not proper English style), I got almost 40 subscribers and the number is growing… . Do I really want to risk losing them for a few bucks?!
I wish I could afford going to blog conferences, and camps and all that jazz and connect more with the blgging community… maybe I would’ve known better how, while still being me, start to earn money on blogging.
I am new to this blog but have read lots and lots (and lots!) of blogger pages (mainly women). I am only a couple months into blogging myself and am still learning the ropes of how it all works and how it fits together. I have had some great private conversations with other bloggers and have found some good “friends”. Our soceital demands do not support women in “doing it all”. We are the care-givers in the world; men are the providers. We care about ourselves, our spouse, our family. We wonder who we are, who we are supposed to be, who we need to be both personally and professionally. When we are home we wonder if we should be “out there”. When we are “out there” we wonder if we need to be home more for our family. It is a catch 22. We like our life and all those in it to work like a well oiled machine and if it doesn’t we are the first ones to give up a part of us to fix the other things.
I love this village called the blogosphere for women to continue to connect to each other and just talk about what their concers and worries are. I don’t think that we can do it all…we can’t be in the moment and multitask at the same time. Something always has to give. One blogger I follow daily has a post reminding “us” that we can’t do it all. I think it is the ebb and flow of life. We are constantly giving more to one thing and less to another but there is motion. Some days we can commit more as a wife and mom but other days we can commit more to blogging and working. I think that if you can recognize that as long as there is movement among the things in your life that you term as important you are doing just fine. We aim for perfection and if we don’t achieve it we feel like it was all a failure but it wasn’t a failure – it really all worked out.
Women don’t really know what their role is in our soceity which is why talking and forming strong and powerful bonds both physically and virtually is incredibly important for all of us to grow as adults, as moms, as a wife, friend…and the list goes on. How do you do it all you ask? …You don’t. You do what you can with what you have in the time that is given and that is good enough. What I have learned about the most sincere and “real” bloggers is that they don’t lose their following if they don’t post each and every day. If you are able to share your heart and talk to your audience on a human, caring, supporting person, people will love you. Some blogs have almost no personal “feel” to them but blog every day – I am not interested. Some bloggers don’t write every day but who they are, I mean who they really are, comes through because they are honest and are not trying to put on a show every day. I love these bloggers the most.
I share many of the feelings the above posters share and hope that by having such great blogger role models I, too, will be able to be a WAHM with revenue. You should all be so proud because you are in charge of your life and, to me, that is the greatest award you can give yourself! I look forward to navigating the extensive list of blogger posts above….so thank you to all of you!!!
I wouldn’t consider myself a “working” blogger. I still have a full-time job outside of the home and it is completely unrelated to blogging, writing and social media.
I have to schedule blog posts on the weekends, sneak them in on lunch breaks (shhh, don’t tell on me) or blog at night after the kiddos go to bed.
Even though it’s not a full-time gig for me, I can really feel the pressure mounting. My stats have doubled in the last year since moving to wordpress and reaching out. I found your blog through twitter, Heather, and I was a gasp at all one could do with their blog! I have a journalism degree and enjoy social media and marketing more than anything else but haven’t quite figured out how to make the jump.
So I read and I follow and I comment and I read some more. I tweet and I “like” on facebook and I engage. Still my following is relatively small. But recently BlogHer picked me as one of the Voice of the Year honorees and I suddenly realized – sometimes it’s not at all about your following! Sometimes it really is about your content! And that refreshed what I’m doing here in the blogosphere.
Until I met you I never in a million years thought of creating a mission statement or goals for my blog. But because of you I now have! I am working toward becoming a professional (read: paid) writer. This past year I have had new opportunities come my way and I get excited about them. But every time I post one on my blog I literally cringe!
I have readers who have been following me for nearly five years. Surely they are wondering what the heck is going on. I wonder if they think I’m a “sell-out” like many bloggers who will blog whatever just to get some free stuff. That is so not what I plan on doing.
I want to be like you. Picking and choosing which companies align with my blog content and goals.
You two are wonderful examples. I can understand that you are both at a crossroads in your blogging career. But just as you did in the beginning – take the bull by its horns and hold on tight. You’ll land where you’re supposed to =)
Molly – your comment, every single word of it soldifies WHY I am still here…blogging. You, once a complete stranger, has found comfort or inspiration in my words and is now weaving your own path on your own blogging journey – THAT my friend is an amazing powerful gift, don’t you think?
This is why my heart breaks – the fact that I can’t get around to the blogs like yours as or to those that have done right by me so many times before. I guess my only way to pay it forward is to communicate through discussions like this one, catch up on Twitter and visit when I can – and know that my words, somewhere, somehow, for someone – still matters.
Congratulaitons on your honorable mention for VOTY – I *know* you have great things ahead of you.
xoxo
This is like a birthday and Christmas wrapped into one with both of you (Heather and Gigi) here! I know you both have conflicted hearts; excited about the success and sad about the lack of one-on-one contact with other bloggers. Please know that bloggers truly understand and are all so excited for you. This new working journey is so well deserved because you have both poured so much of yourselves into all of us and I am blessed and grateful for your words!
I haven’t been blogging for very long, but I find that I’m having the same balancing trouble. I want to spend the time reading and commenting, but I also have other aspects of it getting in the way. I don’t have any answers, but I just wanted to say that the people who love you for you, are going to stick around. You’ve built a wonderful community here and we’ll keep coming back for that.
That means so much to me – that others find this community a REAL community, one that responds and supports one another. I couldn’t ask for more, thanks so much for that Kimberly!!
Can’t help you there. I’m still trying to figure out how to get traffic to my . LOL
This is such a great conversation. I did comment over at Gigi’s but I wanted to add a few things
here into the mix. I have had to cut back in areas so that I am able to get to the important things. Which is A-new, meaningful content and B- engaging and encouraging my readers. We have to figure out the most important things, and somehow make time for those specific things. And the care and feeding of children are not optional.
Thanks ladies!
Bernice
First of all I think that both you and Gigi have done an excellent job staying connected to your readers as your success climbs. Whether or not you read and visit blogs the way you used to, you both are very approachable, real women and whether you visit blogs daily I have never felt like either of you are leaving the blogging community behind for new successes.
I am really struggling with the balance of maintaining my blog, responding to comments and visiting others while also working towards actually getting paid for all of this writing that I do. I have hit the “something’s gotta give” point and am trying to let go of my stat obsession and post a little less so that I can put more effort into my freelance career because it is something I need to do for my family.
All of this to say, we are all just trying to balance life and as women I think we struggle with keeping everyone happy. This is a great discussion and I’m glad the two of you, who do an amazing job of balancing it all, were so honest about the difficulties you have. It makes me feel more human and connects your readers to you that much more.
I know exactly wat you are describing Jessica. About a year or so ago, that’s where I was. Obsessing over stats all.the.time. It was like a disease and I wrote a post about it and I had to let it go – because the stat checking really gets you no where…the people you’ve connected with, the readers who continue to come back because they REALLY love your blog, I am still learning will be there for you, just as you mentioned. As long as you are committed to maintaining an approachable and open online presence through other platforms, I don’t see any other way of this working.
There are so many “stages” a blogger goes through, so trust me when I tell you, let go of the stats. It’s just a number and the TONS of readers who visit and adore you, will be there for you whether you have 100 or 100,000 page views.
xoxo
This comment itself was great. Thanks so much for being open and honest!!
Yes! This is exactly where I am right now!
I have 2 sites (www.2711designs.com) which is dedicated to “Making Blogging Better”–basically I specialize in migrating blogs from Blogger to WordPress, Custom WP/Blogger designs, & being a resource for people who are new to blogging.
Then I have my personal blog, which has fewer & fewer posts, because I don’t have the time to spend writing, tweeting, or visiting the blogs that I used to love to read every day. There aren’t enough hours in the day!
It’s a hard balance to find & I’m struggling!
Great post today Gigi & Heather!
Ladies, this is a post that hits the nail upon the head with honesty and clarity. I turned a problogger/business blogger and social media manager and while I am deeply grateful for the work, since it helps pay ALL our bills, I miss my time online where I could just browse, blog hop, actually read and absorb a post.
Having said that, would I want to change anything? No, not really. I love my work, what I do and I love blogging. I’ve just gotten better at saying no to things that eat my time, but I’m still looking for ways to manage my time WAY better. Ideas anyone?
Thanks for sharing your experiences. I am not at this place yet and still very new and trying to figure the ins and outs. However, I have already began to establish relationships that I feel and real. There are blogs that I visit very frequently just to check in, and of course I stalk them on twitter.
However, right now I am enjoying the connections and hope to make more. I can see how career opportunities might take priority as time goes on. My husband just asked me, so are you making any money with this blog? Well, my answer was no, but right now it is priceless to me.
Again, thanks for sharing with us and I appreciate your time in still connecting with people who are just getting started.
You’ve so hit the nail on the head. I began blogging a couple of years ago, and though it’s not grown anywhere near yours… and in fact there are times I feel very much alone… there are also the times that I do make connections still and those connections mean so much. I know there’s a community out there that go through the same things I do, and that’s what keeps me going.
I wish I had more time to answer this, but the truth is that I blog from work. A job that has NOTHING to do with my blog. Since the beginning of this year I have been wanting to write more, connect more, move from just an Parenting after Infertility blog to something “more”, something for me to be proud of and give me a purpose.
The thing is that with the hours I work, the commute I do, raising twins and frankly having WORK to do here, I am not all I want to be in the social arena yet and that bothers me, but I also know that I am not willing to give up my evenings with my boys. I don’t see them enough as it is, I can’t spend the evenings trying to write and write about them, without every spending time with them.
I am envious of everyone that can have it both ways, who grew their blog and were able to grow their family too. I would like that kind of opportunity.
Plus the more wonderful ladies I meet, the more email subscriptions I add to my email the less I feel connected to my “old tribe” the women who started with me, the ones who saw me through my infertility and are honestly the REASON I am a blogger. That hurts me in a place that I can’t fully find the words for.
I don’t know what the answer is but for me my blog is my safe, wonderful place and I want to keep writing, I want to keep connecting and I also want my “Kir Time” to not feel guilty when I am NOT writing, since that blog is NOT who I am. It’s a very big part of me and I love it, but it’s not the whole of what makes me, well…me.
This is going to keep me questioning things for a few days. Thank you for writing it.