My guest blogger today is Johanna from Johanna Garth. She’s a newly published author with dreams of becoming a long-term successful writer. She’s sharing an amazing post with us here today based on her experience, a journey that is so worth reading.
When I was in third grade I decided to become a lawyer. I was certain, from the tip of my toes to the ends of my pigtails, the life of law was meant for me. I couldn’t articulate why I wanted to be a lawyer and I have a strong suspicion I had no idea what lawyers did, but that didn’t matter. What I had was a dream. Someday I would walk into the offices of a major New York City law firm (unchartered territory for a girl from rural Oregon) as a full-fledged lawyer. I held onto my dream with such ferocity that it couldn’t have surprised anyone when I finally did what I’d set out to do.
The interesting thing about achieving that first dream is that it wasn’t exactly like I thought it would be. That’s not to say I didn’t like it. I did, I absolutely did. It turns out my third grade self somehow knew I would love the practice of law. It’s just that somewhere along the line the initial dream became unimportant. I’d done what I’d set out to do and now there were other goals and dreams. We measure ourselves against the people we see on a daily basis and my colleagues had all achieved the same pinnacle of success as I had. Now we were all shooting for higher pinnacles.
I went right on tackling one mountain after another until I had a metaphorical mountain climbing accident. My daughter was born. She came along and I lost my hold on everything else. My first taste of that all-encompassing love affair that is the way a mother loves her first child, left no room for any other dreams. I couldn’t imagine anything better than holding my daughter in my arms while she looked up at me with her amazing deep blue, baby eyes.
Somehow I managed to go back to work, partly because it never occurred to me to do anything else. A month later my daughter went on a hunger strike. Her particular genius for guerilla warfare combined with starry-eyed mother love spelled the end for my legal career.
I gave it up.
I gave it up quickly, with only the slightest tinge of regret. I told myself I wouldn’t look back or second guess myself. Except, it’s almost impossible not to look back. My colleagues became partners in law firms, judges and business executives with their own staff. I changed diapers, cleaned the kitchen floor and taught myself how to cook.
I also started to write.
I’d always kept a journal and jotted down little things that appealed to me. Now, I snuck off to my computer at naptime and wrote stories. The stories turned into books and the idea of publishing something, anything, began to emerge as a new dream. I didn’t tell anyone about this new dream because it seemed impossible. I just kept writing, sending things out to editors, agents and magazines and filing away my rejections. After five years I told my closest friends I was writing. After seven years, I could sometimes bring myself to tell acquaintances I was an unpublished writer. This year, nine years after I walked away from my first dream, I’ve achieved my second dream. The dream I was beginning to think was impossible. My book has been published. It’s my dream come true. I’m walking on air. Except…
This time around I’ve been more careful. I’ve learned that dreams, while important, are never as satisfying as we expect. As soon as they become reality we accept them and move on. I’ve barely had time to savor this first step towards becoming a full-fledged writer and already I want more. It’s never enough and that, I’ve realized, is the essential problem with dreams (or maybe me, I’m not sure which). Dreams can take you a long way but it’s easy to keep striving for the next big moment and forget all the little moments that make life amazing. With that in mind I gave myself the task of creating a list of things that are important to do each and every day:
1. Stop and listen to each of my children and focus on whatever it is they need me to know.
2. Kiss my husband.
3. Laugh with anyone. Dreams are empty without laughter
4. Have something to look forward to – maybe a movie with friends or a vacation. It doesn’t matter what as long as it’s something.
5. Eat something that tastes good.
What’s my point? Women cannot live on dreams alone. My dream was to publish a book (just one) and have it see some kind of moderate success. You can bet money that now I want to publish two (just two) and see them both achieve wild success. As my dreams expand, contract, die out and renew I’ll be keeping a tight watch on the list above. Figure out your own list of things that sustain you and then keep it somewhere safe and close to your heart.
Those are the real dreams.
Want to guest post at Theta Mom® for TMC Network? I am currently accepting submissions. Full details can be found on the Network page.
What a great post! I love the line that women cannot live on dreams alone!
Thanks Barbara!
What a great story! Awesome that you have been able to achieve what you wanted so far, and it is very interesting how those dreams change over time.
I have a “dream post” tumbling around in my brain and you have definitely given me a new take on it. Yes we should go after our dreams, but not overlook our every day life in doing so.
Thanks for sharing!
Bernice
The successful woman’s guide to NOT doing it all
Hi Bernice. Glad you enjoyed it and I’ll be looking forward to reading your ‘dream post’. Sometimes it can be such a tricky balance.
This was an amazing story! Thank you so much for sharing it with us! I have recently been hearing people tell me I dream to big. It hurts. Knowing that they’re not dreaming at all. I sit in a white-walled room day in and day out. I work my 40 hours each week as a data analyst. It isn’t my dream job, writing is. However to get to that dream job I have to work at a job that pays and work in the evenings. I have the right to dream big if I have big goals and aspirations. The difference between my dreams and the girl who thinks I don’t dream big enough?? Well, that’s because I’m working towards my dreams… after all, they’re also my goals.
Keep on fighting. It’s as simple as that.
Hi Jen, I’m so proud of you that you are dreaming big and working towards your goal of writing. From what I’ve seen you’re a great writer and I’m sure that someday you will see all your hardwork come to fruition.
I know exactly what you mean! My whole life, I dreamed of owning my own business, just like my mom did. That dream became a reality, but it’s never enough….I am constantly dreaming new dreams. I love your ideas on just living and enjoying the little things each day. Got to try that!
Nina-I know, right! It’s hard to remember to enjoy the little things….that’s why I made a list
I love this post! My story was similar: I always wanted to be a teacher, and once I got there, it was the opposite of what I expected. I also wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom, so once I became pregnant, I gladly left my job.
And then I was lost.
I always wanted to write (that is what I put down on my high school form). So I, too, became unpublished and got lost taking care of now two kids.
And then I found blogging. Blogging has given me a new direction.
Your story is truly inspirational. Thank you so much for sharing. And that it is never too late to make new dreams and follow them!
Hi Erin, I’m so glad you found blogging. I’m relatively new to the blogging world and have been blown away by what an amazing, supportive community it is!
Johanna, congratulations on being published and making your dream come true.
You’re right, it’s never enough and we just keep wanting more. Grounding yourself with reminders to appreciate what you do have? That’s exactly what we need to do, all of us. I love your list – I will have to do mine. Thank you.
Thanks Alison! It is so hard to remember what our goals were a few years ago and then give ourselves time to appreciate what we’ve already accomplished! I’m so glad to hear you are going to make a list too.
This is such a wonderful post. I agree that women cannot live on dreams alone. That’s part of why I actually didn’t quit my career path after my children were born, despite that fact that most days I dream of being a stay at home mom and being able to stop missing their childhood. But I have so many dreams of the rest of our lives and opportunities I want for them, so the only thing to do is to keep working, paving the way for my dreams and theirs.
Thanks Katherine. It’s good to have dreams, isn’t it! I have a feeling they will continue to guide you down your path.
Quote “Now, I snuck off to my computer at naptime and wrote stories. The stories turned into books and the idea of publishing something, anything, began to emerge as a new dream.” Johanna has given other writers who are also mothers of small children a road-map as to how thye can achieve their dream – and that roadmap will lead to success for any dream. You take the time that you are given and do what you can with it. While her experiences are different from mine they are similar and I feel the kinship with her that those common experiences bring to us. Now I am a grandmother, and I am facing the possibility that 3-4 of my older grandkids will need to live with us. This post has just reminded me that it is doable. I can write and do what ever I must to keep my grandkids together.
Connie, a roadmap! That is so kind, especially coming from you! I have no doubt that you are more than up to whatever life throws your way.
What a great and inspirational story!
Thanks Gary! (and thanks for stopping by)
I love this post. I had two dreams. Achieved one and am now just starting on my career of writing rejection! I love your task list though. Listening, smiling, hugs and kisses…these are all more important than whether or not I ever get published. Thanks for this inspiring post.
That’s exciting! Best of luck on your writing career!
Great story! I gave up teaching after 7 years to be home with my kids. I love that I can watch them grow and fortunate enough to do that. I know it’s hard for familes to have one stay home. My dream is to start a home business.
Kim, so glad you enjoyed it! That is such a good point and another thing I should put on my list for those days when I’m feeling less than thankful! I wish you the best of luck with your home business.
Great post, Johanna! I guess I didn’t know about the lawyer you… my dream is a little more elusive–I want to be someone who can support herself (and family) with her writing, which will fall immediately before my success with my Naked World Domination plans. Actually… it seems to me I’ve made more progess with that Naked thing…
Hart, from what I’ve seen you are well on your way to achieving your writing goals. I am always amazed by your energy and talent. As for the Naked World Domination, I think it’s taken hold here (and I know you used to live in Portland). We’ve been inundated with Naked Bike Riders and Naked Marathoners lately!
Loved everything about this! Nicely said and well written. I have always said “you can have it all, you just can’t have it all at the same time”. Love you and am so proud of you!!
Awww Michelle! Thank you so much!!
Loved this! I lived a lot of my life trying to get to the next best thing and stressing about how that was going to happen. Since I’ve had my kids it’s forced me to live more in the present, and that’s been a wonderful gift.
Congrats on getting published!!
Thanks Cheryl, the publishing piece is exciting but the kids really force me to be in the moment. Speaking of which, I think I hear them finally waking up and now it’s time for me to make breakfast
I’m big on going after dreams, but especially love the idea of being present now. There’s a lot to be said for finding joy right where – and when – you are. Finding that balance between being and dreaming is the key.
Great piece. So nice to “meet” you!
Hi Missy, nice to ‘meet’ you too! Glad you enjoyed the post.
What a great post–dreams as both substance and ether.
Thanks Jenny. I love the idea of substance and ether!
Oh, wow. I left my promising legal career one year ago and so identify with this. It’s been hard, at times, but I have no regrets. I hope my path continues as yours has.
Thank you, thank you for sharing!
Good to hear you have no regrets. It’s hard to leave behind a successful career!
This is EXACTLY what I needed to read today. I wanted to be a lawyer, but I became a high school teacher (same thing, right? arguing ridiculously small points…it’s all the same). In the past year the writing bug has bitten me. I’ve been teaching writing for almost a decade and just recently started doing my own.
it all takes time.
and in the meantime? we need to live in the now.
I love this.
Oh, I’m so glad and yes, sometimes I used to joke that being a lawyer was a lot like being a kindergarten teacher (small points, herding cats, etc). Good luck with writing, it’s the kind of bug that can last a lifetime!
A great guest post. I think we all struggle with balance. I know I do! It sounds all “business-like” but it’s about time-management, prioritizing and making good choices =)
Yes, that sounds so simple doesn’t it…some days I think time-management and prioritizing would have been the most helpful things I could have studied in school!
Thank you for this post. I think it sums up the experiences of so many stay-at-home moms. It certainly does for me. As a single mom, I spent years and effort and money earning a graduate degree. I was proud of my education and career and still am. However, a decade later, I have given it all up willingly and happily to stay home with my new baby. I have dreams of writing as well, but they’re not very well defined yet. Thanks again for this. It’s a good reminder as I embark on searching for my own goals, one dream at a time.
I had no idea you went into law! You’re an amazing writer, and I definitely feel like you belong in the writing world!
Lovely post. I love the part about eating things that taste good. LOL. I totally agree!
I like that you followed through with your dream to be a lawyer from such a young age. And I also like how you outline here how our dreams can most certainly change. Great post, thank you for sharing!
Loved this and congratulations on being published. I lived a lot of my life waiting for the next thing and the next thing and then had a huge wake up call when things didn’t turn out how I had planned/dreamt. I work hard to live in the moment now and the more you do it the easier it becomes.
Wonderful, inspiring post!
Congrats on being a published writer!
I never had a defined dream like that – in fact, it’s been one of my huge struggles – but I’m now able to identify my passions. So my dreams are built around that. I have one, in particular, but it’s more about life and lifestyle than doing something or accomplishing something specific. What it’s given me is a perspective on life I’m grateful to have – so I agree! Can’t live on dreams alone.
What a refreshing post! A wonderful perspective that we should all take. I often go through my day without really pausing to enjoy those small moments. Thanks for the reminder!
Great blog Johanna! And your list is awesome 😀 You’re so right, it is the small joys everyday that make life special
Fantastic view on focusing on our dreams, how they change, and sometimes letting them go.
Congratulations on your book!!
Johanna,
I’m so happy you are doing well and I LOVE your story. It is very inspirational and I can relate to many of your points. I wish you continued sucess and lifetime of dreams and happiness!
xoxo
Najat
Loved this. It’s important to keep dreaming, but we have to stop and enjoy those dreams sometimes.
Congratulations…that’s quite an accomplishment! Great perspective you have on everything. Best wishes with all the new ambition and enjoying what you’ve already attained.
great post. best wishes with all you do. i’m in a similar spot and i find that each new accomplishment or dream fulfilled just causes me to dream bigger. it’s a wonderful feeling!
Great post, you are right to say that women cannot live on dreams alone.
You’re amazing Johanna! Love your honest approach to life