There’s been so much talk recently that this generation of high school and college graduates are at risk of the digital divide…and apparently, it continues to widen.
It’s been documented in comparative education and there are a host of several issues on the table, but the one that stands out in my mind is how many of these young adults actually need to “re-learn” the art of some basic interpersonal communication skills because for most of them, this was not a necessity. They simply relied on texting, tweeting and “Facebooking” as their main way of communicating; the face-to-face dynamic of communication (such as successfully conducting themselves in an interview) is somewhat foreign to them – a paradigm that certainly needs to shift.
For me, this begs to ask the question, if there is an issue now for college graduates (who were at the cusp of this digital generation), what the hell does this mean for my kids?
My son will be six and he already knows that mommy has her own website. He understands the concept of blogging and vlogging and he actually understands the idea of Twitter and Facebook as a means of communicating. He knows that my iphone is “connected online” virtually anywhere and the word app has no relation to food. He’ll ask me to text or email his friends’ moms to get in touch with them for a play date and he rarely sees me “talk” on the telephone. Moreover, he knows that mommy makes a living working on the computer.
His little world is filled with “play” smart phones, DS cartridges and a million choices of shows to watch ON DEMAND.
Doesn’t this speak volumes?
I want what we all want for our kids – to give them the best possible everything in a world that is changing as we speak. However, living in the digital age certainly creates more challenges of parenting this generation and I’m sure there will be tons of new repercussions as we move through this process. Online bullying, for example, was near non-existent ten years ago and today? It’s happening every minute.
Quite frankly, it horrifies me to think that some of today’s college graduates actually have to “learn” the kind of communication that we practically experienced naturally. In essence, an iPhone may help to connect you to the right people but it certainly won’t guarantee you the job. For me, it’s the real, face-to-face relationships that are more important now than they ever were – and I will be sure that although my kids may grow up with more gadgets and platforms than I could ever dream of, they will have plenty of other interpersonal experiences and be cognizant of this, too.
I’ll make sure of it.
Maybe this means that mommy puts down the iPhone and has some real conversations on the telephone. Maybe it means playing more board games than hopping on the Wii.
Maybe it means to just be without so much technology all of the time.
Maybe.
Maybe we can actually have the best of both worlds, I mean hey – my kid may be blogging about me one day on his own domain. I can only hope that he’ll say that I parented with love and conviction – and did the best job that I could raising children in the digital age.
A damn good job.
I think it’s possible to have the best of both worlds, but it will take a conscious effort to make it happen. I plan to place limits on the technology my kids use and when they do have things like phones and computers they will have boundaries. For example, when it’s time for bed, all technology will be plugged in and “turned in” in one primary location – if necessary, in our bedroom so we know they are getting sleep. As for interacting with friends more often where natural communication skills are gained, I think we’ll have to just encourage (and maybe even push) them into those situations. Great discussion post!
My little guy already knows how to work the Ipad, Iphone, etc. I shudder to think about what sorts of technology will be available when he gets older. I’m going to need lessons!
It’s so hard to unplug, especially in the line of work we do, but you are right, it is very important. I don’t want my son to remember me as always being glued to my phone or laptop!
Had to leave a second comment, because that last statement of mine just slapped me in the face as I look at my avatar…LOL.
This is a very interesting topic. I wrote about this for the blog I contribute to, about striking a balance between the digital world (which we can’t shut out) with more traditional means of engaging with our children. Of course my perspective is from a child who’s very young, but the inevitability of technology creeping in more and more, I feel it’s the right time to decide on how we deal with it in our household.
For us, it’s about balance.
I think as long as we are mindful of this as we parent that our kids will be okay. At least I hope so. I agree with Mommyologist that I don’t want my kids to remember me being glued to the phone or my laptop. Such a balance.
I actually worry that I do not expose my kids to enough digital things. Because at 3 and 5 yo they have no idea what a video game system is, although my son does play some computer games on Nick Jr a couple times a week. We do not regularly have cable, but do have tons of videos. We play board games but do not even own a Wii (hopefully will at Christmas!). There are no smart phones in our house (because the data plan is just not in the budget right now). No iPads or iPods to be found. I worry that when he gets to school he will feel left out because I am 100% sure that almost every other kid in his class will have had regular exposure to the above things.
I hadn’t thought about the worry of how they may interact in face to face interactions once they do start having regular exposure to all the digital fun in the world! Years before I even had kids though, I determined they would know how to spell properly!! As a retail manager it was amazing that my high school graduate staff (some with honours!) could not leave me a legible note. There were so many spelling and grammar errors it became like reading a puzzle. And don’t even get me started on the penmanship 😛
As technology continues to grow I think the digital divide will become even bigger. Definitely something we need to be mindful of and try to counteract by putting down the devices every once in awhile.
I’m so afraid when my kids get older. You hear so many stories and these girls meeting these creeps on FB and such. My 3 year old can already work the iPad to play her games.
Since my almost-5-year-old son is in preschool, he gets to use a computer that is set up for kid-friendly content in limited amounts. As a result, I do not instruct him on a computer at home. My husband and I made a conscious decision to promote books, Lego, even Lincoln Logs along with the iPad and Wii. We figured that with school (in August) we’ll get him more acclimated to computing, etc., just because I do not want him too fixated on all things digital. It’s funny to see that even his concept of television is so different from what we had growing up given that there is On Demand and so many cable options, the thought of waiting for one specific time and day to watch a favorite show is out the window. We’ve used the iPad and online streaming of videos, so he knows to ask for that, too. I am bracing for the time when he fully grasps all that is out there for him to explore online. I think having the best of both worlds is a good goal for us as parents.
I think the minefield really begins as they get into their early teens…..there is so much they can get into that weren’t options for us as parents; one really has to think through how to approach the topic and set guidelines.
I think that we can definitely have a happy medium between the two. But it’s the responsibility of the PARENT to teach their children communication skills, rather than shove them in front of an iPhone to entertain them every time they turn around. Our kids NEED to know how to use Social Media and Technology because-let’s face it-it isn’t going away. But it’s our JOB as parents to teach them how to carry on an intelligent conversation without having their face in a screen all the time. I’m sure you’ll find the perfect balance. Because you’re awesome like that.
I think it’s pretty cool that my three year old knows how to use an ipad and the iphone already – same with my almost six year old. Of course, I do limit the time they can use these devices, and I teach them real life skills at home – how to be polite, to look people in the eyes, please, thank you, etc. Also reading is of utmost importance, too, and all they learn in school. Also, in restaurants, we focus on conversation and don’t generally bring things like the ipad with us. (Unless we’re at a wedding where I know I need to entertain my kids longer!) There is definitely a happy medium.
It does take effort and a lot of intention. I teach high schoolers, and I can tell you that they are deep into their digital lives. Your suggestions are right on, I think.
I find it a little unnerving that my 10 month old has a pretend iPod, loves to look at the pretty app icons on the iPhone, and is mesmerized by Mickey when he is on. His first birthday is around the corner and I am going to make a point for his gifts to be those that use more imagination- like blocks, instead of getting more musical, blinking crap.
I worry about this, too. I miss the simplicity of road trips without DVDs and kids having to watch commercials and wait for their show to be on because it isn’t prerecorded.
This is a really REALLY important topic. And one close to my heart. I don’t know what is harder: raising kids in a digital age – or being a parent who knows how to turn it all OFF in order to be present with my kids. Oh, how I struggle with this.
Scares the living daylights out of me. I’ll do all I can to counteract this, and pray other parents do, as well. I just wish I knew the best way to go about battling the digital divide.
You know what I hate? The modern version of people who go out to eat and read the newspaper: families who sit around a restaurant table, each glued to their own electronic addiction. Makes me sad.
This is such a fantastic post, Heather. I’ve had the makings of a similar blog post swirling around in my head since my 18-month-old climbed into the chair in front of my laptop last week and begin trying to use the mouse. Where did she learn than that? From me, unfortunately.
Anyway, you perfectly summed up many of my feelings on kids and the digital age. And when I finally do gather my thoughts about this topic enough to write my own post about it, I’m going to link to this one. Well said.
Such a great, thoughtful post about the challenges we are all experiencing raising our children right now. I keep searching for ways to integrate different kinds of interaction into tech interaction. I’ll let you know if I hit on anything really genius ’cause so far I haven’t.
One of the things I like about living in The South is that such a big emphasis is still put on manners… a good hand shake, looking people in the eye, “yes m’am and no sir”… it goes a long way toward those interpersonal skills.
I often think about this. But mostly it’s coming from a place where I question MY use of technology rather than what their use MIGHT be in the future.
My intuitive almost 3-year-old asked me why I’m “on the computer all the time” the other night and it made me feel awful.
But with a full-time job and trying to support my blog I don’t know WHEN to blog. It made me feel bad and made me think of stopping altogether because I doubt anyone would miss me too much 😉
My kids would miss me more.
A fantastic reminder that our children learn everything from us and we need to be aware of what skills we are teaching or not teaching them.
This is all so true. My kids know and understand so much about the digital world its insane. If grandma calls they say “grandma can you call us on the computer?” My three year old always holds the phone out showing whomever her new shoes or whatever and I have to explain that its not a skype call. My five year old will say “can you text auntie to see if we can go over there?” Or the oh what are you doing mom? Just checking your email/facebook, a few years ago it was mom you should say that on your myspace. Or he’ll say okay mom I want to sing this song so you can post it on YouTube haha!! The world is so strange in today’s world.
I intend to make sure my son (and any other children) do not suffer from this as well. It is scary to think about the possibilities! I think it is our job as parents to help our kids see that digital is not the only way!
I feel like we’re addicted to being online and tethered through texting, tweeting, or updating Facebook with updates all day long. My 4 year old niece is with me during the day since I work from home. She often stops me while I’m working to take a picture or video of her to post on Facebook for her mom or dad. For her parents, they get to be involved in her day while they are in the office. Yet at the end of my work day I disconnect from gadgets for a couple hours to spend time at the pool with the kids or watch their shows with them.
I think taking time to disengage from the Internet helps with creativity because my mind isn’t bombarded with information. ~Cheryl Marquez
You definitely have to consider the repercussions and the benefits of rearing children in this digital age; as a college instructor, I’ve realized that I can’t fight the technology, so I’ve tried to incorporate it and embrace it in class. My daughter, 2, knows that I use my computer to work, I text to arrange playdates, and we Skype with her aunt who lives in CA. I hope she knows – and that I convey – that while being connected is crucial to today’s lifestyle, playing together in the backyard with friends and talking to neighbors in the grocery store beat a Facebook wall post anyday.
Heather, I hear you. I have had to work very hard with my son who just graduated from high school to get him to communicate the way WE expect people in the real world to! Eye contact, phone calls and messages, face to face. And seriously, we didn’t buy him a cell phone until about 3 months ago.
They just prefer the non-verbal email/Facebook stuff, and it’s very sad. Lots of kids won’t even leave a phone message, since they assume the other person will see on caller id who called and call them back!
I don’t think we have even begun to recognize the repercussions of technology on our wee ones. So much is going to change between now and when they go to college and are looking for jobs… Great topic.
Timely post. All I can say is I’m nervous about this too. I hope I can give my kids a well balanced upbringing.
A very interesting topic about parenting. Well, balance of time is the most important in this situation. It is our responsibility as parents to teach and nurture our kids about what skills we are teaching or not teaching them. Their learning come from us, so have time for them.