I recently attended a great event in NYC last week. Actually, it was held at the Faculty House of my very own alma mater, Columbia University. It’s been nearly 10 years since I earned my graduate degree so you can imagine how I felt as I stepped foot on campus after all this time.
When I attended back in the late 90’s, life was rather simple. I was living in an adorable apartment and working full-time. I had a great circle of friends and went out a lot. A lot. Attending school right in NYC made single life for a young woman very fun. Very fun.
[photo credit: Columbia University]
I had a great career and I was on track to continue moving up that ladder all the while REALLY enjoying my life in my early 20’s.
I did what I wanted – all the time.
Even though I only had to cook for myself, I ended up eating out with friends a lot. Laundry was a cinch and getting myself ready in the morning was easy since all I had to do was worry about myself. I paid my rent, had a few bucks to spare and simply enjoyed life in the big city. Now, stepping foot back on that same campus last week brought back some emotions because my life has changed so much since I was there.
I fell in love.
I got married.
I bought my first home.
I gave birth to two children.
A marriage, a mortgage and parenthood – life certainly took a different turn than the path I was originally on. I had big city dreams and worked my butt off toward a career I thought I really wanted. I networked, researched and earned that degree to bring me to the next level. But that career that I thought I SO wanted didn’t seem quite as important to me anymore once I became a mother.
Needless to say, laundry quickly became a big task and I was now feeding a family of four. My mortgage was much higher than my rent and I was suddenly responsible for the lives of two other human beings in addition to a husband. It became hard for me to get out with my friends as often as I would like and I still can’t drop everything for a quick manicure.
I have a picture of my father and I from my graduation day and it sits on my nightstand as a reflection of one of the happiest days of my life – because I chased a dream. My parents ALWAYS taught me to dream big and now, as a mother myself somehow, it makes me even prouder. I am still paying tons of student loans but I wouldn’t change a thing because that experience helped to shape the person I am today. You see, attending an Ivy League institution was on my list of dreams and it’s one of those things that I can tell my kids with a smile, “Mommy did THAT.”
Stepping foot back on that campus last week brought me back to a life I once lived – but I left with a new respect and appreciation for the life I have now. I realized how far I’ve come, how proud I am of what I’ve accomplished thus far, and also walked away with a new found sense of the amazing gift I’ve been given: to share this experience with my own kids one day.
Just as my parents had done for me.
Is there a dream you chased and accomplished in your life that makes you so proud? Do you have a “Mommy did THAT” story that you can’t wait to share with your own kids?
This is a great story Heather and I know how you feel. It is amazing how life changes in every way then what you expect after marriage, mortgage, and kids. Right now my moment is losing over 35 pounds and writing about how I did it on my blog. My kids are really involved in it and I love hearing them talk about it with our neighbors and friends. They are so proud which makes me proud. I had the room mom from my daughter’s kindergarten class come up to me a couple weeks ago and say “Your daughter told me about your website, I checked it out, and it is great!”. I thought that was so cute that my daughter is talking it up and now has become my little marketer
You lost 35 pounds? Mommy did THAT?? Wow chickie, that’s amazing!! And as soon as I give my daughter breakfast, I am geading over to read how you did THAT! 😉
I love this post! I truly is amazing how much our priorities can shift throughout life. I hope that my children look back at us leaving everything behind to live abroad as something amazing. To give them the opportunity to live and experience different cultures than their own.
I really love this post! I ran a marathon (a couple) last year….Mommy Did That!
Ack. This post makes me want to cry. There are days I can list my accomplishments by the armful… from the big things like the healthy kids and marriage to the little things like keep the laundry folded. Then other days, I struggle feeling like I still haven’t found that one “thing”. That thing that calls me, a mark that I made on the world somewhere.
And then I remember that I forgot to put the laundry in the dryer before I left for work and I really do cry.
Great post.
My husband and I go and visit our alma mater about once a year to celebrate our wedding anniversary (there’s a casino resort just down the road). I am always brought back to the days of college. I miss them, but I think I like my life better now.
Great story, and yes, once you get married/buy a house/have kids, things certainly shift, don’t they? I gave up working in the TV/Radio world for a more secure (but more boring) job in the goverment… all for my kids!
I can point to pictures of world travels (pre kids, of course) or my 10k finish line picture or even my wedding day.
But nothing, NOTHING, is as satisfying as pointing to an empty laundry bin or an empty SINK and saying, “Mama did THAT.”
Great post Heather!
Like you, Columbia is my alma mater. And like you, it is definitely an accomplished dream I am incredibly proud of.
P.S. Loved hanging out at with you last week
I traveled to London to be in the New Year’s Day parade for the millenium. That was huge for me- my boyfriend was broken hearted for leaving him but he couldn’t afford to go. I almost didn’t. It was the most independent thing I did. I also married my-then boyfriend;)
Great post! I spent about 4 years (every summer) in my early twenties travelling around the US and Europe to Disc Golf tournaments. We slept on couches, in cars, and in tents in Germany, Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Italy, Austria, France and almost every state in the US. Yes, Mommy did THAT!
I love that you can name and claim your dreams and accomplishments. Important for you and your kids! I’m chasing dreams right now- to run a 5K and to write. There- I said it!
Great picture Heather!
I miss NYC so much that somedays it makes my stomach hurt but if I left PDX I know I’d feel the same way…good to have two “home” cities.
Dreams are important, right 😉 One of my dreams that the kid are impressed/annoyed by is that I can speak French. I moved to Paris after college and it turns out I pick up language quickly (thankfully there’s something, ’cause it certainly wasn’t trigonometry). Now whenever I meet someone French we can chat away. Kids are equally impressed and annoyed “Mommy, please stop talking like Babar.”
I agree that there’s a sense of pride when you can tell your kids that you accomplished a dream. I strive everyday to be an inspiration and better role model for my littles.
You should be very proud of yourself!! Your kids will be too, if they aren’t already.
And I don’t remember what it was like to just do laundry for one!!
I still get a feeling of nostalgia in the pit of my stomach when I’m around the campus of my alma mater (I still live in the same city). Many times as I worked in a field (financial) so far removed from my degree (art), I thought I wanted to go back, but I soon realized I was just reaching for something, and even if I did go back to school I wouldn’t get back that carefree feeling I think I longed for. Little did I know that upon having kids, quitting my job, and starting a blog I would find a way to fill those voids and discover a whole new world of opportunity.
Great post, Heather!
I’m working on my “Mommy did THAT” moment right now. I just had my third (and last!) baby and, now that my child-bearing days are at an end, I am starting a new career as a writer. I’ve never been happier professionally and I love the balance my days have now that I am a work-from-home mom. I can’t wait to show my kids how you can have it all if you’re willing to work for it.
I have a few moments and I’m working on one right now. the birth of my son prompted me to follow some dreams so he’d have some examples in front of him and be encouraged to follow his own. I’m finally publishing a book of poetry! it’s been a long time coming but I’m excited to actually be making it happen. of course my little guys name is front and center on the dedication page!
Isn’t it amazing how much we’ve changed since kids? I went back to my college about 2 years ago and it felt so strange!
Education is a wonderful thing to be able to share with you kids. I feel that way about running marathons. May not seem like much but it was a life goal and I love that I completed them.
Since I had my kids during college, they have been part of my college/grad school/professional life. I’m not sure how many stories there will be about what I did, because they’ve lived through it all, right along with me.
I hope to say that one day when I have kids. Now I just say it to the kids I manny. 😉
What a great post… and I can’t think of anything right now… how bad is that???
We’ve had lots of little moments… like last year when both of my kids learned to water ski, so, not one to be out done by my children, I got back on skis for the first time since getting pregnant so they could literally see that “Mommy did THAT?” I didn’t go away to college, but every time we go back to my hometown and drive to my aunt’s, I point out my alma mater because we have to drive by it.
What a great story. You are right. Our life, goals and direction change once we have children. I was in the corporate world working my way up but once my first son came my path changed. I wanted to be home with my kids as well as work to help support the family. I have reached that goal and I am proud that I am *trying* to make it work. Also, I participated in a bikeathon when my son was little and biked 65 miles! I have to say I am quite proud of that and can say, “Mommy Did That!”
Love this post. Too often, we beat ourselves up over being just a mom who does wipes up snotty noses and dirty bums, whip up quick meals for the family, do endless loads of laundry etc etc.
But hey, Mama did all THAT! Also, I had a great 10-year career in marketing, PR and events managemen,t which I’m really proud of. And that I had no regrets walking away from to start a family. Now, I’m aiming to do a marathon before I’m 40!
Heather, this is great. I think we are constantly re-evaluating our lives and connecting them to the wants and needs of our families…and I wouldn’t have it any other way!
I would have to say the things I’ve done are small, but the pride of my children and hubs when I’ve accomplished something big “for me” are worth their weight in gold.
What a great post! Life certainly does change after school, marriage, and parenthood. I have days where I feel like I’ve accomplished so much in life and I’m eternally grateful and proud of it. Then there are those other days where I feel like I’ve done absolutely nothing with my life.
But on those good days? It’s great to be able to look at your kids and say “Mommy did THAT!”
We got married at the chapel in Columbia University.
Thank you so much for this. Mom Corps NYC is interested in promoting exactly what you expressed here: how the various talents and accomplishments of working mothers influence our culture both in and outside the home. This was incredibly inspirational (Plus, one of our team member is a recent graduate of Columbia University!).
Awesome post. It amazes me when I reflect on the different path my life seems to have taken since having kids, especially when I catch up with old friends – for instance one I worked with back in NYC – who are on a different track. It’s a great feeling to look back and also to feel – here in the now – that mummy did THAT but also look what mummy DOES.
It’s easy to feel lost in the shuffle but actually there’s so much about my life that I’m proud of, including running a blog while raising two wonderful boys! Thanks for this reminder to keep on celebrating who we are (and who we were) at every stage of the journey.