I am certainly not the first blogger to write about this topic nor will I be the last. In fact, other bloggers have written about this (some even about me) so I thought maybe it was time I shed my own opinion on the subject of blog envy.
The questioning begins: How does she get THAT many followers? Why did THAT post get so many comments? Why didn’t I get an invite to THAT event? How did she land THAT sponsorship?
Then the self-doubt sets in: What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I reach success the same way I see other bloggers doing it? Am I not savvy enough? Smart enough? Funny enough?
Good enough?
Well, the reality is, success in this crazy bloggity blog world is defined by each and every one of us differently, but when you work endless hours and the rewards don’t come as quickly as you would like, disappointment and self-doubt begin to set in when you watch as other bloggers move ahead. I get tons of emails from other bloggers with the thoughts I just presented above and many are looking for some advice as they make their way through this journey…
Here’s my take: We’ve ALL been there from time to time. I don’t care how “big” of a blogger you think you are or people think you are, every blogger goes through some sort of blog “envy” at some point. And if they don’t admit to it they aren’t telling you the whole truth.
Many look at me and think I have this whole thing together – landing some fabulous partnerships, unique opportunities and such. But two things you have to remember:
I didn’t just purchase a domain, write some quality content and expect to be given some amazing opportunities. I had to work for it because nothing is handed out in the blogosphere. Establishing an influential and reputable online presence takes years of hard work and those that have the book deals, magazine articles and amazing opportunities did not publish their first post yesterday. These bloggers have earned respect which has been a process in the making for longer than you think.
Do some really talented writers get overlooked? Of course they do. Are there some really popular blogs that you kind of wonder how they reached superstar status? Perhaps. But for the majority of us, there is no free hall pass and every single comment, tweet, sponsorship and paid opportunity has to be earned.
I wouldn’t be sharing the whole truth if I said I still didn’t get blog envy from time to time. Sometimes, I also experience some self-doubt when I see the hashtag of an off site event on Twitter in which I didn’t get an invite to, or a brand sponsorship that I thought would have happened to me, and the list goes on…The point is, just when you think a “big” blogger has seen or done it all, trust me, there’s an even bigger blogger than her doing bigger and better things. It’s just kind of how this bloggity blog world operates and you have to learn to stay motivated and passionate about what you’re doing and roll with it.
So, the takeaway here? When you begin to feel stressed out, envious or doubtful about your own blog by comparing yourself to THAT blogger, instead, support THAT blogger. That’s right. Be happy to see THAT blogger reach a level of success because she damn well deserves it. The fact of the matter is, the more you give in this space, the more you get. And then some.
Stay true to who YOU are and remind yourself that there’s nobody like YOU in this space. Continue to pursue your passion, play fair, work hard, and support the likes of others along the way.
With the time and hard work I dedicate to this thing, do I think I deserve some of that awesome superstarness too?
Absolutely.
My time will come, as long as I continue to be supportive of others and work hard. I’m here to stay because I’ve earned my right to be here.
And that’s just how it rolls.
My take away from this post is success is different to everyone…sometimes people are envious of a kind of success that they don’t even want!
You know, this is something I constantly have to remind myself of. I don’t necessarily want to be a big blogger. I just want to use my blog as platform to showcase my writing in an effort to one day turn it (writing) into a career. Sure, it’s great to entertain people and possibly make some money off my blog along the way, but I’m honestly OK with being a little fish in a big pond. So, I think you make an excellent point here.
I went to Bloggy Boot Camp this past weekend and one thing that Tiffany said that stuck with me was— success for one blogger is good for all of us. Every time someone makes money doing this, it raises the status of our industry (yes, industry) as a whole. I thought that was a wise lesson.
LOVE this post Heather! Well said! It rocks when bloggers are recognized and get amazing opportunities. And of course sometimes I wish it was me. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that. Half the time I am just too damn lazy to put more into it…hey, just being honest!
bravo!
what i think is awesome, that you said, was that instead of bashing that successful person or pouting b/c you didn’t get it… SUPPORT them!! i never understood why people don’t do that!! i’ve had plenty of blog envy to go around for all of us. but i’ve also grown up over the years… and know that comments, visits and followers don’t define me. i have some great people who read my blog. and that’s wonderful!
Just today I had my first blog post on skirt! online magazine. I was self conscious to make a big deal of it but also really really proud of myself for landing the gig. I was simultaneously afraid that people would judge me as unworthy of an online gig AND that no one would read it.
Strange.
Turns out I did just fine and the fear was just noise in my head. Go figure. 😉
Oh my dear, I’m cheering!!!!! It does take hard work to grow. No one just writes fabulous content, sits on their butt and gets handed opportunities.
We work our asses off for them.
OK, Where’s my like button! AMEN!
Heather, great post! I took away so much from it. Lately, I’ve found myself having blog envy quite a bit, and really, it’s ALL my fault. My blog isn’t a priority right now, and I am not putting in the hours that others are, so why should I get the things they are? I shouldn’t because NOONE sits there and let’s their content strcitly be what gets them the opportunities. You have to put in the time–on your blog, on twitter, on facebook, on commenting on other blogs. So, I am ok with the fact that I’ll continue to grow my blog, and when life free’s up a bit, I’ll come on strong and hopefully make a presense in the social media world.
I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve had blog envy. But I try to use it for good and not for evil. Not only do I reach out to those bloggers I’ve (at times) envied to congratulate them, I also seek their advice and mentoring. And so far, they’ve been awesome about giving it.
Great post, Heather!
Yes!!! That is how it rolls! GREAT post!!
I applaud those “successful” bloggers, have little idea how to get where they are…other than what is recommended but I am happy they are there. It’s obvious to me when someone has put in alot of work, I see their tweets, their comments on other blogs and I’m certain there’s much more.
I pay attention and try to do what I’m able to from where I sit. You are fantastic, thank you for sharing your perspective.
Thank you for this honest, yet positive!, take on success in blogging. I couldn’t agree more with supporting other bloggers. I write in a small niche and when I started I was surprised, then threatened, by the other bloggers in my niche of writing. Why was I threatened? Is there a finite amount of success out there? Not in my world.
When I decided to reach out and get to know these other writers I found a rich group of women that have become a blogging support network for me. We bounce ideas off each other, inspire each other and get blog growth TOGETHER. When I see someone got a great media mention or has a huge surge in readership, I get excited. It means our niche is growing. And that’s great for all of us.
AMEN, sistah! What an awesome message.
I got me some blog envy, and I’m not afraid to say it. It is tough to be writing great (at least I think so) content and not have people reaching out for giveaways and sponsorships and support, but you’re SO right that it takes more than just writing to be THAT kind of blogger. Great post.
You rock for writing this. So well said!
I think one of the important things to remember is when you said it depends on what you define as success – everybody is different. I think that people do need to realize that things don’t happen overnight. I’m 4 months in and I realize I don’t have the following many do at a year or two – but they’ve been doing it a year or two. And doing it well! Great post & reminders!
Not sure if i would call it envy but I think all of us (w a blog) are interested in what makes a particular blog successful/newsworthy/feature worthy etc. It is only natural, I suppose.
So glad you point out that it took TONS of hard work for all of those blogs to get to that point…whether the blogger is willing to admit it or not…you have to put the time in to have a great blog, content and readership.
Thanks for this post….
C
Love this! So good for all of us to remember this…. like you said, it’s something we can all easily fall into. And that’s not even why I (and I’m sure most of us) started blogging. I started blogging to write, to capture memories… and that’s what’t important to me. Thanks for this post!
~Tabitha
This: the more you give in this space, the more you get. And then some.
Well, that about sums it up. I’ll admit that I wonder from time-to-time how certain things happened for certain bloggers. But instead of doubting my own abilities, I ask myself, “how did they do that and how can I learn from what they did?” Sometimes I even ask them. Of course, some bloggers are willing to share their “secrets” and others aren’t…
But most of all, I remind myself that I have only been blogging for 11 months. That’s all. And it takes time, and effort, and consistency. That’s the bottom line.
You’re an inspiration. I think I mainly compete against myself, which is a set-up for failure! I’ve set some goals and am making some small steps toward reaching them, but it can be exhausting and defeating at times. Thank you for this!
I needed to read this! Things have been a little slow over in my hood lately and I’ve been feeling a little sensitive
I recently posted about finding a date and then posted a drink recipe and BAM! I lost several followers leaving me feeling like it’s okay to be a sad, single mom, who devotes all her time to her kids, but when I finally start making time for a life for myself, I’m not good enough. I realize it’s probably not the case, and it may just be attrition, people stop blogging and following sometimes… heck, I’ve un-followed someone when their blog didn’t turn out to be as good a fit as I thought, but it still smarts!
That is exactly the reason why I love blogging! Supporting others always comes back to you. Showing kindness and being authentic is always the best plan. Great post!
I really love your takeaway: instead of comparing yourself to and being envious of a blogger, support that blogger. Excellent advice.
Well said, Heather! Was just having a conversation about this last evening with a fellow blogger, aAnd we both agreed that you get what you give. Period. As always, you’ve eloquently conveyed what so many of us bloggers feel.
Sorry I am late to the party! Well said. I get envy from time to time on little things, but overall know what it would take to get to where that person is. And right now, I don’t have the time or discipline. There is only so much I can do in a day. So I do respect others I envy because I know how much time and work they have put in. My blog stats directly correlate with the amount of time I dedicate to blogging as a whole.
Great post! So important for everyone to know.
Perfectly said. I think your advice can be applied to most aspects of life. I prefer to cheer for others and progress at my own speed.
“Envy is ignorance.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ignorance of how much work went into someone’s good fortune.
Ignorance of how the success of others take nothing away from us and should serve as inspiration.