I give my kids everything. I meet every need known to man and I try to be the BEST parent that I can. I am far from perfect but I am proud of the fact that I admit when I’m wrong and I learn from my mistakes because parenting, for me, is a PROCESS…one I am still learning through daily.
And there are times, like right now, when I feel like I need to put MYSELF back on the priority list. I am everything to everyone else including my husband and my kids, so it’s the age old question, “Where does that leave time for ME?”
Those of you who have been with me in the early days of this blog know that I had a fun meme called “Time Out for Theta Mom Thursday” and the idea was to take one hour per week to do something for YOURSELF – without the kids – something YOU enjoy. Encouraging moms to bring back a little time for themselves…
Well, I’ve fallen away from that philosophy recently and although I am not reinstating the meme, what I am doing is bringing that hour back again for ME – but this time? I’m going to try to do 30 minutes each DAY.
I know.
Gasp.
TOTAL gasp.
How the hell will I pull this off?
How will I manage to squeeze in thirty minutes of daily me time when I can barely use the bathroom without a little person following me? Well, I’m a very motivated person especially when it comes to a challenge and I am challenging myself to bring some peace back into my life and getting some well deserved ME time on the calendar.
I know I will be a better mother for it.
I know it will give me more energy, strength, and patience – things I am sure lacking these days.
I know it will be hard to do at first, but that’s something I’m willing to try because I invest in everyone else in my life so it’s about time I invest in ME again.
So if you’ll excuse me, there’s thirty minutes on the clock waiting for me.
What a great idea! I think all moms need to do that. Thanks for the reminder. I’m going to have to work on that!
It’s been spring break for me this past week and I had a lot of “me” time. Guess what happened? I didn’t yell at the kids, I wasn’t short tempered with my husband… it was awesome! The lesson was that when mom gets time alone EVERYONE benefits!
It is good that you had time for yourself and it is great that you figured out it makes a difference in your parenting!
Congrats to you!
Bernice
Amen! I go through cycles where I am very good at putting ME on the list, and then weeks or months go by and I realize the reason I am so frustrated and irritated is because I somehow got taken off that list. It’s easy to do. Good luck getting your 30 minutes. If you want it, only you can make it happen!
This is awesome! Me time very hard to find because even when I do something for me like go to the gym, I end up running errands for someone else. Also, it seems the more I am here putting in 150%, the harder it is to take some much deserved time . . . althought that is what I need to continue doing a good job.
So are you doing this during nap time? Or when the kids are watching tv? I could use some tips . . .
I started this today so we’ll see how I squeeze in the time, but I woke up at 5:30 am this morning and I walked on the treadmill for my 30 minutes. I know that may sound like “work” to some, but for me, it’s something I am doing for ME and nobody else. I had a chat with my hubs as well, so he is on board with me taking some time, so my other plan is to use him in this process to help out more than he does to ensure I can get in some time. For me, this really is SO needed.
30 minutes a day! I would love to have this much time for ME! I’m lucky that my husband is super supportive of letting me have a girls night out every `couple of weeks; sometimes it’s just the refresher I need!
I’m going to join you! I’ve made it a point to put my laptop and books in my office so I have somewhere to escape. No more squeezing in 5 minutes here, 10 minutes here, but instead want to bring the girls upstairs to play in their toy room while I retreat to my space for an uninterrupted break. Good luck to you (and me!)
You know it is so hard because I can’t even think what 30 minutes of me time would look like. Not because I couldn’t find the time in my day because I am sure I could – we all can, but just because I am not sure what I would do in 30 minutes that would constitute me time. It seems like everything I do has some other objective besides just being me time. I think it is really hard to find any balance when there are so many things going on – I am very jealous of woman who can make it work.
I look forward to reading about how it goes in the future!
I LOVE your honesty here and this is the kind of comment the begins a TRUE dialogue. I am far from figuring this path out for myself but what I can tell you is, I am feeling neglected for MYSELF. I need to be more selfish because for me, I feel as though I am losing a part of ME in the midst of being everything to everyone else.
30 minutes for me may be just chatting on the phone with a friend uninterrupted or reading a magazine in silence – or believe it or not, walking on the treadmill (sounds like work, but I feel better about myself because I did something for *me*) and I think that’s the key here – whatever you do, just carve out 30 minutes for yourself, and if that means a long shower or a stop out at Target – who cares, but at least you are claiming some time for YOU alone!! Thanks again for your AWESOME comment!
And I think the key is not feeling guilty or stressed about it! Getting to a place where you know it is good for everyone if you take that 30 minutes. I still have issues about spending too “long” at the hairdresser. I can’t tell you the number of times I have left with my hair still wet because I felt like I was taking too long away from home. I may have a lot of working mom issues!!!
Rock on, Heather!
Sadly, I have not yet acquired enough duct tape to ensure myself even ten minutes of peace.
But I’m saving it up!
I know, depending on the age of your kids (if you have babies) this is much harder to acieve…I know, I’ve been there!! My kids are almost 6 and 3 so I think that makes it slightly easier to “fit” in some time.
good for you Heather! it’s something that is a constant work in progress for me but so important! xxo
Good for you! I think that it’s so important to take out time for ourselves, we’re better moms, wives and people for it. My mom didn’t do that at all and over the years turned out to resent her family for just being part of her family. I didn’t understand it growing up, but I do now and am militant when it comes to carving out me time. It’s just so necessary and my family loves the rejuvenated me!
No one is happy if mom’s not happy. 30 minutes daily for yourself is not asking too much – in fact, it might not be enough! Now excuse me while I go off and try to follow my own advice ….
I should do this … I need to do this. I do not. It will be just a little while …. with the new baby coming and all (altho DH is excellent about letting me take REALLY long hot showers to just relax… so I guess that can count
)
You HAVE to make time for you! Can’t stress this enough!! You can’t take care of everyone else if you don’t take care of you first!
I think it’s so important for moms to take time out every day to focus on themselves. We have to keep ourselves strong and encouraged so that we can continue to pour into those around us.
I love the down time I get when JDaniel takes a nap. I hope he continues to nap for awhile longer.
Yes, Me Time is so very important. It’s so easy to get caught up in being a mom or wife that we forget that we are ourselves first! We have to do better at dropping the titles for a few minutes, a few hours or even a few days and focusing on ourselves.
You are so right. You have really inspired me to do the same. It does seem impossible, but what a better mom and wife we could be if we did this.
Thanks for the inspiration and reminder that we need to take care of ourselves too! Good luck in your journey!
Ok I know this may sound crazy but I actually started waking about at 5:00am so I can get 2 hours to myself everyday before kiddos wake up and day begins. I use that time to blog, workout, or just drink coffee and watch TV. But what I have found out is that if I do not carve out time for myself to do the things I WANT to do it will never happen.
Me time is an absolute necessity! I am religious about getting some every day and I am a better mom for it. I used to be almost apologetic about asking for it, but now, I am not at all, because I know the whole family is better off when I get time to recharge.
It’s so easy to let our “me time” be the first thing to lapse when life gets hectic, isn’t it? That mom guilt sure can weigh us down! I hope you enjoy some great me time!
I am selfish! Nomatter what every day I take 30 min to an hour all-to-myself. That may mean that the dishes do not get done, I may have an extra load of laundry in the morning, whatever it is, I do not care. I need my me time to be able to be a better mom and wife……and I do not even do anything exciting, just take a long bubble bath reading a book.
Investing in yourself is the first thing we should all be doing. this will ensure we can then take care of our families.
Good for you THETA Mom!!
Ok, this is brilliant! I do carve out 30 mins a day for exercise, usually during my lunch break. It’s easier for me because I telecommute, but my daughter is in daycare.
But recently I posted on getting to know myself again outside of motherhood. Because there used to be a well-rounded person here who could go five minutes without discussing development and diapers!
http://stephanieinsuburbia.blogspot.com/2011/04/where-do-we-go-from-here.html
Awesome Heather!
It is SO important that we do this as moms. I know that some of the readers are commenting that they do the same thing to some degree. And the there are others who would like to but don’t see how. And I know there are seasons of life where it is difficult, but it needs to be a priority. If there is a quiet moment, instead of reading email or folding laundry, or sweeping the floor, get your favorite drink, settle back with a magazine, a book, or just with yourself and breathe. The email, laundry & dirt will not go anywhere, it will still be waiting for you!
I just wrote a post about this very thing, in theory anyway… How sharp is your saw?
Thanks for sharing!
Bernice
Good for you! I think it is absolutely important to fit in some ‘me’ time each day. That was one of my goald for 2011!
Good for you! Sometimes you just have to put it on your appt schedule to make sure it happens, but oh-so-important!
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!! this is why I spent the $$$ and had my blog redesigned back in Feb and why I write for myself. I write about the boys sure, but mostly I want to write about things that interest me, that I have sitting on my heart, that I can relate to. I want something for me.
I think that in order to be a better mom, you have to be a happy, better woman.
I applaud you doing this, enjoy those 30 minutes..You deserve them.
Such a great idea! Moms who take time for themselves deserve it. I know I do better when I’ve had some time alone, even if it’s a short time.
I love me time even though it doesn’t happen often in my house. I hope you get to do fun things like sit down and get a pedicure or look at a magazine.
Yay, yay, yay!! Since I have been taking care of my mom and the kids concurrently, it really takes its toll if I do not stop and refresh my mind with something other than family stuff. I do notice that when I put myself on the list, home life runs a lot smoother. So why does it take getting to the bottom of the barrel before moms make a change?
Good for you! Let us know how it goes! I aspire to this in some distant futureland.
You didn’t need to type gasp because I was already gasping! “Did she say EVERY DAY?!?!” Right now, I am only getting about 6 hours of sleep a night because I am cramming so much in to each day. BUT I have been reading before bed and that is where the lack of sleep comes in. I am enjoying reading again so much that I stay up to keep reading and before I know it, it is midnight! And a little person is in my bed by 6. I don’t like being tired, and should just challenge myself to turn in earlier, like you are challenging yourself. Then I can still read but get 7 hours of sleep.
@Jean – I so have the reading issue! I actually think about maybe I shouldn’t start this book in the beginning of the week because I know it will make me so tired all week!
Good to know I am not alone! I had this book, the last in the Hunger Games series, for over 6 months because when I read the first two, I was up until 1 in the morning and getting only 5 hours of sleep a night! So I was excited to read this one, but was dreading this lack of sleep!
Ha! Too funny. I am saving the exact same book for next weekend! I am flying ALONE to Myrtle Beach for my brother’s college graduation so I figured the only sane thing to do was to save it for then!
That is just a crazy insane coincidence! And who do you think you are going away alone???? Have the time of your life mama!!!
I SO need to do this. I am terrible at finding any time for myself and even when I do I end up relenting and taking one kid with me which negates the whole time to myself plan. I hope you can pull it off!
Good for you taking 30 minutes for yourself. I truly believe we are better moms when we can do this.
Good luck! I can only find 3 minutes when I am exhausted and everyone is sleeping. But I’ll try it with you and try to get a picture of the faces when I break the news of my 30 minutes to the fam. Confusion? Tears? Anger? More Confusion? I’m pretty sure Miles will laugh at me.
I’m crossing my fingers for us!
You go! I think this is paramount. It feels impossible most days, but you’re right: it makes us better mothers.
As a blogger, I find that when we openly announce we are doing something it holds us more accountable. At least, for me it does. I mean, so your “investment” in yourself lasts a month. Just keep re-investing every couple of months =)
You deserve that 30 minutes, hon. We ALL do!!!
OMG — the idea of trying to find 30 minutes a week was challenging. So the goal of 30 minutes a day is now giving me agita.
I know that I would be a nicer, more relaxed, healthier, calmer person if I could just find those missing ME minutes…
Good for you! I, too, try to do this daily. As a single mom, I do have the time after they go to bed and before I do to myself. I try to make sure I don’t spend all that time straightening, working, or blogging and make sure I take time to read or something before bed. Some days it works, some days it doesn’t
I have a close friend who orders her priorties as follows:
Herself
Her marriage
and then her kids.
I was shocked the first time I heard that but then she explained that if she didn’t take care of herself and her marriage, she wasn’t doing her best job taking care of the kids. I got it. I try to emulate it but I’m not always successful. Maybe I should try your 30 minutes a day routine.
Good for you. I wish I hadn’t waited until The Cherubs were all in school to invest in a little Me Time. Hear, hear!
Good for you! I should join you too, although that may mean I have to go to bed 30 minutes later because I don’t even know how to fit everything I need to do in one day. We’re constantly juggling the needs of others that it’s time we stop and just ask ourselves, what do I want for me? And I think 30 minutes is completely reasonable. I will try to find the time. Or make it if I have to. Thanks for this.
I am SO glad that you are doing this for yourself. I made this vow to myself as well and go to the gym A LOT. I love it, it is good for me, I NEED it.
Plus, I always find my wine time at the end of the day!
Why is it so hard for us to do this? You have reminded me of something very important to put back on my own to do list. Me.
Good for you!!! I really need to set aside some me time during the day too – away from the kids and husband. I’ve been feeling like I need it more and more lately. 30 minutes a day sounds like a great way to start.
incredible idea !! lets try that now !! 😀
Bravo! I think this is SO SO SO important for sanity, for your marriage, for everything.
Wonderful post! Yes, take time for yourself. I took on this concept a few months ago, and it has made a difference in my total attitude and outlook on life. Knowing that I have given something back to myself helped renew me.
Remember stick to it!
I need this. We all need this. Good for you for reclaiming it.
I really do believe we are better mothers for taking time for ourselves. Granted, it’s easier said than done a lot of the time. Kudos to you for taking the leap!
Good for you!!!