1999.
I was just a kid out of college working my very first “real” job and my boss called me into her office. I nervously opened the door and saw her talking on the phone. She motioned for me to come toward her desk.
Strangely, she looked somber. Awkward. She stopped talking and handed me the phone.
“It’s your mother.”
I grabbed the phone and wondered why on earth she would be calling me at the office. After listening to some of the scariest news of my life, I handed the receiver back to my boss.
“My dad,” I began…
“Had a massive heart attack. He needs open heart surgery, tonight.”
My boss hung up the phone, grabbed my hand and looked me straight in the eye as I held back the tears. She said, “Heather, he will be just fine. They do this every.single.day.”
With that exchange I left her office, packed up some of my belongings from my desk and drove two hours to the hospital to see my father.
All I wanted to do was see his face.
All I wanted to do was tell him I love him.
All I wanted to do was reassure him that he was going to get through this. That we were going to get through this.
Once at the hospital and seeing my father being prepped for surgery I didn’t have time to fully process what was really happening. My entire family surrounded him at the foot of his bed.
We talked.
We tried to crack jokes. We smiled nervously and we prayed as we waited for him to be wheeled into the Operating Room.
In the midst of this drama I was desperately trying to reach my boyfriend. Earlier that morning he said he was going to try and make it to the hospital to be there with me, at least in time to see my dad before he was wheeled in.
I sat in front of those elevator doors for hours, watching them slowly open and close with no sign of him. I envisioned him running toward me with a bundle of flowers, whisking me right into his arms and reassuring me that this was going to be ok.
But I never received my bundle of flowers that day.
Nor did he ever show…
As my father remained in the Operating Room for hours, my family and I paced the floor, drank tons of coffee, quietly held hands and prayed. At one point, I stepped away to call my boyfriend once more to see if maybe, just maybe he was on his way at that late hour.
His roommate answered. He told me my boyfriend was at a bar drinking with some of his buddies and not sure when he would return.
I hung up the phone.
It was over.
Soon later we received word that my father’s surgery was successful but nothing could have prepared me for the way he looked as we saw him for the first time in the ICU. I saw tons of tubes strapped around his body hooked to different machines making all sorts of noises. His neck, throat and mouth were also covered in tubes and his eyes were closed. Nobody should ever have to see a loved one in that kind of state and nobody should have to endure that kind of pain.
As I stood beside his bed, I told him that I loved him…and I managed to tell him that it was over with my boyfriend.
I swear, I think I saw my father smile as I spoke those words…
To this day, my father will tell you that everything in life happens for a reason; he truly believes he was meant to have open-heart surgery to show me that I was with the wrong man. He told me that his heart was not the only heart that was saved that day – mine was, too.
And you know what?
He’ll tell you even to this day that if he had to do it all over again for his little girl, he would.
In a heartbeat.
What a great post. Your dad is so right; things happen for a reason. I love that you and your dad have such a good bond. My dad and I are very close, too.
Wow. Between this post & your guest post on Mommypants… You’ve taken it up a notch & you’re making me want to follow.
Your dad was absolutely right although I think you would have preferred an easier way to learn your lesson! Great post.
Thanks so much for this comment! I’ve been getting more ‘personal’ on the blog and I find that these are the kind of posts that resonate with readers the most. Thanks so much for reading and being here.
Such a typical Dad thing to do and say! It’s a great story and a very happy ending for everyone in your family. I am sure your Dad loves telling the story of how he saved “your heart”. On a side note I can’t believe your boyfriend was such a jerk, that is new low!!
Yeah, could you imagine if I married him??? Love is blind…
What a scary thing to go through! I believe everything happens for a reason, also. Looking back over the years, I can honestly say I’ve learned some of the biggest and most important lessons through the really hard times. Thanks for sharing. I’m glad he’s okay.
This brought tears to my eyes. I believe your dad was probably right.
Oh, goosebumps. How scary for your dad but isn’t it funny how now we understand that love and that we would do anything again if it meant we were helping our children follow down the right path? Sounds like you and your dad are lucky to have each other.
Ahhh…what an awesome story…it makes me really miss my dad who died when I was in my 30’s. He was “that” kind of dad too…awesome story *sniff*
Heather, this post really hit home with me, in more ways than one!
A little over two years ago, my dad had a hemorrhagic stroke, and they didn’t expect him to live. I was at a conference in Dallas with my husband, my parents were keeping our son in Florida. I hopped on a plane and flew back, my husband followed to watch our son so that I could go to the hospital in Gainesville.
My dad wound up having brain surgery…he was in the neuro ICU for three weeks. After the surgery, his head was the size of a watermelon and his eyeball was hanging out onto his cheek from the swelling. You are right…no one should have to see a loved one that way.
The irony of the whole thing is that my husband and I were going through a VERY rocky time in our marriage, and honestly, I didn’t think that we’d even be still married by the time the conference rolled around again the next year. The incident with my dad changed all that.
I’m happy to report that almost three years later, my Dad has fully recovered, and the hubs and I are stronger than ever. That stroke is what brought us back together and made us lean on each other and realize what’s important again.
Weird how things work out!
Thanks for sharing that Mary. Amazing how crisis can bring us such clarity.
Oh Heather….that’s so sad and sweet at the same time. Your dad sounds like an awesome guy. The guy you were with at the time? Not so much.
Wow. Isn’t it crazy to look back on things like this? To see how in just a moment someone can let you down so hard, but it ends up being the best thing for you. You probably didn’t feel that way at the time – you probably felt hurt, confused and angry. It was the worst possible time for this guy to show you his true self, but… it all worked out. I love that. (Even though I wish it didn’t take your dad having major surgery to bring the pieces together.)
So many people were trying to tell me he was wrong for me…but of course, I couldn’t see it. I really thought I was going to end up marrying the guy. The moment he didn’t show for me and my father, I wondered where he would be when other times were tough. Thanks so much for your comment.
Wonderful post Heather! It really highlights what a great writer you are. The post also tugged on mmy heartstrings because my dad had a massive heart attack in 2005 and I felt much of those same feelings!
Thanks Kmama…
xoxo
What a wonderful post, and a great reminder that our timing may not necessarily be God’s timing. Thank you for a reminder that things happen for a reason, and that we need to see blessings out of pain.
I love everything about this post. That your dad was ok, that he has a good sense of humor, and that you got rid of the DUD!
What an amazing post! I truly believe everything happens for a reason. And I completely agree, nobody should ever have to see a loved one hooked up to so many things:( I’ve seen my FIL after open heart and it’s not something I wish anyone to ever have to see. A tear is rolling down my face, because Gavyn was suppose to have emergency open heart surgery at 3 weeks old. I prayed, prayed, prayed to god not to let him go through this as he wasn’t healthy enough. I got a second opinion, and the surgery never happened.(we were told he would have died). Everything happens for a reason!
Wow. Very powerful post — thanks for sharing.
This brings back all kinds of memories. My dad had open heart surgery 4 years ago — he was 3,000 miles away and I was 38 weeks pregnant, unable to fly there, and going through all of the same emotions and fears that you described. And he too was fine, thankfully.
On a lighter note, can you give us the one paragraph recap of how you dumped that boyfriend shortly afterwards?
I think you inspired me to write another post dedicated just for that. 😉 Thanks for your comment mama!! xo
Oh Heather, I’m all teary….what a touching story, and how amazing that sometimes our lives take a turn we didn’t see coming but winds up being for the best.
I love seeing this side of you! I lurk a lot around here, need to comment more.
Oh what a touching post! I also believe everything happens for a reason too. I am so glad your Dad was OK and sounds like it was a good thing your ‘boyfriend’ never showed up
Wow, I actually had a similar experience with a boyfriend when my uncle passed away. Sometimes it takes something big to make you realize you shouldn’t waste your time with someone so small.
OH my this story really tugged at my heart strings. Glad there was a happy ending!
Wow, that was incredibly powerful and brought tears to my eyes. I lost my dad very suddenly when I was just 23 years old. Had he lived longer, I know that he would have done anything for me too. Love him every day…he sounds like an incredible dad.
Katie
Oh this made me tear up. He sounds like a wonderful dad. Glad you dumped the guy! This is my first time at your site. And so glad I stopped by today.
Wow, what a great post! I can relate to your post. We went through the same scare last year with my father (minus the boyfriend part.) He, as well, came out ok! Thank the Lord. I’m glad both of your hearts were saved that day! Thanks for sharing such a personal post.
Heather this was a beautiful post. I do believe everything that happens in life for sure happens for a reason. I am also believe that daddy’s always know best for their little girls. I am glad to know your dad is ok and still with you today.
Not that this is funny or anything, but strangely enough I had a very similar experience. My grandmother had the open heart surgery two hours later and my boyfriend went to a wrestling match. I totally understand how this felt for you! Powerful and well written, kudos girl!
That ending brings tears to my eyes! My dad had triple bypass when he was 16. To see my dad in ICU and watch my mom have to feed him because he didn’t have the strength to do it himself. My dad, a big, strong man, reduced to this state. It was like all the air escaping from a balloon. I know exactly how you felt. But for your dad to see the positive in it about your boyfriend? Amazing!
What a beautiful post! Sometimes it takes a tragedy to help us see clearly. I’m sorry your dad went through that and you had to witness it, but I am glad that good things came from that event.
Ok I’m bawling. Your dad sounds so sweet. What a story. My dad passed away when I was 20 and it was terrible. I’m so happy your daddy made it through for you! xoxo
That nearly made me cry. Wow. A fantastic post – one that could easily be reposted for Father’s Day (or for Dump-the-People-in-Your-Life-Who-Don’t-Treat-You-Properly Day, which I think is a day worth celebrating).
I loved this post! It sounds like your dad is a very special man. This hits very close to home, because my dad is going to have a triple bypass soon! I am so scared, but thankful that I have a wonderful husband and family by my side.
Some women would be upset that their boyfriend didn’t show up but they wouldn’t have the courage to end the relationship even though they should. I loved this post and the fact that you realized he was the wrong man and you made a change. And what a great dad!
Heather, what a beautiful story- I love when you get personal. It sounds like your dad is an amazing man, and from what you’ve shared about your husband, he was absolutely right. It’s incredibly eye-opening to sit back and consider what series of events leads us to where we currently are..
Wow! What a great story. I do believe that everything happens for a reason even if that reason is not apparent right away. I am so glad that everything worked out in the end!
Such tough stuff! It is so hard to see loved ones like that. My mother had a brain tumor removed ten years ago and the recovery from that was hard. But I’m with you in believing that everything happens for a reason! Supportive partners are so important – what a good thing to get rid of the boy drinking in the bar!
It would be tough to see my dad, the strong Marine who takes care of everyone else, in such a vulnerable state. I can imagine it was just awful.
On the other hand, having complete clarity regarding an important decision you need to make in your life is a great feeling!
What an awesome story. I am sitting here in tears as my father is already gone. I also went thru a rough period a little over 2 years ago when my sweet hubby had a brain aneurysm. He is fine, but so many things in our life changed after that weekend. So many things we thought were important are meaningless, and spending time together and with family has become THE most important thing for us.
And it is amazing what parents would go thru for their children…
Glad you found the *right* man!
Bernice
A break from our regularly scheduled programming…
I’m choking up! This is an amazing story! Isn’t it awesome what parents will do so that their children will be happy?! That fact that your dad would do open heart surgery all over again so you could have what he thought you deserved in life, is pretty profound!
I had to leave the state of AR, go on a study abroad trip to Mexico, to meet a guy from AR…we were married 1 year & 2 weeks after meeting! Crazy how things work out isn’t it?!
Wonderful post, Heather. As always 😉
What a heart-touching post! Thanks for sharing, and I will say that I have a close relationship with my dad and he would say and do the same thing. Dads are special, and we are blessed to have such good ones!
In a heartbeat
That line alone shows us what family love is. The depth, lack of regrets and truth of what a parent feels for their child.
Wonderful post today!
Beautiful. Just like you.
That is beautiful!!
The pacing back and forth waiting is all too familiar to me. My stepfather went in for a valve replacement 3 yrs ago… It was scary. I would have dumped a guy who was not there for me during that time too.
You ended up with the right man
So amazingly touching! Not to mention beautifully written
You must have the greatest Dad in the world! What a wise wise man to believe that everything happens for a reason and how remarkable that he attributes his tragedy to the need for a higher power to help you. In addition, what amazing insight he had into your young life. I am in awe of his strength of character and courage for him to articulate his willingness to do it all again to save his daughter’s heart. I only wish my own children’s father would posses those same characteristics.
Really great story….and he might just be right!
What an amazing story. I love that your dad would do it again for you.
Every day I take care of patients who are just like you described, covered in tubes and monitors. I’ve done it for long enough that I don’t think about it, but I get reminded almost daily about how hard it is for families.
What a beautiful story.
My mom had a heart attack in 05, and although I made it there for the triple bypass, I hated tjat I couldn’t rush to the hospital like everyone else who lived in town.
Aw. What a good dad! I whole-heartedly agree.
I love this!
Oh Heather..what an amazing father you have. Thank you for sharing this touching story. A moment of clarity indeed and the love of a dad who just wants his little girl to be happy.
Love this so much. Glad your dad is well
What a beautiful post! You have been sharing some wonderful writing my friend…
I can’t believe what a tool your boyfriend was!! So glad that you are still able to laugh about that with your Dad!
I love your dad. He really has an amazing heart. This post is truly wonderful.