I found myself engaged in a fabulous potty training conversation on Twitter last week that was sparked due to a segment which aired on Good Morning America. I am currently in the trenches about to hop aboard the potty train so this convo couldn’t have come at a better time for me. The piece raised some good questions about potty training which got many of us moms talking…
Typically when we blog, quality posts are generated from original content that we develop and the comments end up as the icing on the cake because they add real value to an already well developed piece. However today, I would love to try a new experiment because I am far from an expert in the potty training department. The reality is that I don’t have anything of real substance to offer on this subject or life altering insight to share. Instead, I am seeking out advice from YOU.
Therefore, I want the comments on this post to drive the discussion.
So, please share to your heart’s content and give this Theta Mom some help – because my 2½ year old begins a pre-school program in the fall and she MUST be trained to attend.
Questions for an open discussion: Feel free to answer any (or all) of those listed below or simply add in your experience/advice in relation to potty training:
What has been your experience with potty training and was there any tip or strategy that you can share that worked for you and your child? Have any of you tried that “train your child in three days” program – if so, did it work? Would you recommend it? Why or why not?
What would you say is the least effective strategy when trying to potty train your child?
Do you think we put too much pressure on ourselves as mothers (in addition to our children) to train at a certain time (such as to reach deadlines like the one I have to meet)?
What are some things that worked for you in terms of keeping this whole experience stress free for both the parent and the child?
I am DEFINITELY coming back again and again for this one – I’m about ready to hop on this train as well!
I have to potty train my twins (the Crazies) by this Fall too and I am petrified. I know that there will be a week in either May or June that we will just stay home and concentrate on this task. I hate having a “deadline” because it just feels like too much pressure, but I welcome any and all advice.
I’m definitely interested in what everyone has to say too. My daughter is also starting a preschool program in the fall in which she must be potty trained. She will be turning 3 the month before preschool. My oldest daughter (now 5) turned 3 in the spring and still had all summer before starting preschool so I am a little nervous about my 2 1/2 year old. My oldest potty trained very easily with very few accidents, but that is not the case for my 2 year old! LOL! I’ll be back with comments on what worked for me later today!
Awesome Kristina, you and I are in the same boat with having to meet this deadline and I feel as though it’s putting added pressure on BOTH myself and my daughter and I really want to make this a stress-free experience.
ANY advice is totally welcome, we need to put our heads together on this one! Thanks for your comment!
It never even occurred to me to ask this question for my son’s preschool program. We are starting in August (or planning on it at least)– I’m so glad I read this today!
I have no deadlines to meet, and I am grateful. We have actually been off and on the potty train a couple of times now. My daughter is 26 months old. She keeps showing interest, but really does not seem ready yet. For now, we let her lead the way. When she wants to try, she can. We do not push. I’m not planning any drastic measures at this point. I have rewards for her, which she likes. And we started putting her in training pants so she is more aware of when she has gone. If she gets to three and is not trained, I might feel differently. But right now, we’ll take it as it comes.
I have blogged on this topic several times:
http://www.thewriterrevived.com/2011/02/wordless-wednesday-back-on-potty-train.html
Afraid I don’t have any advice to offer, but I’m very interested to come back and read the comments later to see what people have to say…
We are about to start on this! I started a conversation about it on my blog frog community & got some good insight. My little guy is 22 months old & he is about ready. He’s bringing me diapers when he wants it changed & he’s aware when he’s diaper is dirty.
I never even THOUGHT of checking to see if he needed to be potty trained for his preschool program in the fall! Geez! That’s something I should ask them!
Some people tell me that I should wait until he’s 3 years old but others have told me to start when he starts showing signs of being ready-like bringing me diapers.
My mom said she bought me pretty disney princess undies & that’s what motivated me to get potty trained! lol
Great idea Heather! I’m going to read through the comments!
Disney princess undies, I’ll have to try that with my daughter!! 😉
WOW – this post could not have come at a better time. I’m going through the same thing without much luck. My daughter is 34 months old and flat out tells me that she doesn’t want to go to the potty and to just put her diaper on.
I think she’s lazy.
But I also am on the fence about “forcing” her because I don’t want a struggle. We don’t have a time deadline, I’m a work at home mom. But this is getting old. I may have to potty train her and her 21 month old baby sister at the same time. Now wouldn’t THAT be something to celebrate!
I wish there was a way to subscribe to comments because I don’t want to miss any updates!
Thanks for your input Ivette – I’ll look into the subscribing to comments for you…as for the potty training, have you tried rewarding her for when she does try to motivate her? I know snacks are a big motivator for my daughter, so my plan is to integrate that into the plan.
Hi Heather! Yes, I have tried rewards such as stickers and money. I know we shouldn’t “pay” the kids to go potty but she loves to hear the sound the coins make when she drops them in the piggy bank.
I also have a reward chart on the refrigerator and she enjoys putting the stars on it. But none of that is enough to motivate her to go to the potty on her own. We even bought the potties that play music when they go and she LOVES that. But, not enough to go on her own.
I’m beginning to think I’m going to take a week of my business and stick to potty training. Just put on the big girl panties and go for it. I may need to buy a few more packages though so I’m prepared for the accidents!
I honestly think it has become a battle of wills because she is so advanced in her speech and reasoning, people actually think she’s 4 or 5. I’m really open to suggestions though. Based on my work experience I know you can’t motivate someone to do something they don’t want to do. However, I am inclined to think there is some kind of reverse psychology method that I am missing…. 😀
My girls were much easier to train, but my son was more difficult. What we did (at least for the younger 3) was test the waters and see if they were *really* ready. If they are, they will train within a week (always expect accidents!) If they are not making real progress, then back off and wait another month or 2. For my son, we tried several times, but when he hit 3 years old, I sat him down and talked to him, he was a very smart boy, and told him he was big enough to go potty and that we were done with diapers. He had his underoos and did great.
Bernice
4 ways to be like the energizer bunny
I am really interested in what people have to say. Kids here start going to school “officially” at 3 years old and the MUST be trained. With that being said, our daycare starts preparing the kids at 2 and have asked us to try and make an effort at home to make the entire transition smoother. It seems TOO early for us since that means that in a few months we’ll have to start potty training our less than 2 year old.
We are just wrapping up potty training right now. My biggest piece of advice is to FORGET THE PULL UPS. Those things are a joke. My boys were always smart enough to know that they were glorified diapers and they could do whatever they wanted to in them. Go straight to training pants or go naked.
Both of my boys were extremely stubborn when it came to potty training. I’ve found that the less you can argue about the better. I set a timer (initially for 40 mins, then longer, as long as they aren’t wet in between) and when it goes off, it’s potty time. My kids liked to argue about whether or not they would go, but I wouldn’t relent. I’d say, “You are going potty. That’s not up for debate. Do you want to use your little potty (kept in the kitchen so it was close to the action), or go to a bathroom (we have three in our house). Giving the choice of where to go seemed to help with the fight about whether they were going to go at all.
I’m no expert…especially considering that my first son was 3.5 when he finally trained and we’ve almost got Buster trained and he turned 3 in December, but these things seemed to help.
At least when at home, I totally agree on the pull-ups. Good call.
I have seen the timer thing work, because they get so distracted doing other stuff that they forget to ‘go.’ Good to see the encouragement of choice, but be careful how stern you are or they can push back on purpose (feeling forced to do what they don’t want to.)
Too bad there isn’t a ‘no kidding’ book… lol!
***What has been your experience with potty training and was there any tip or strategy that you can share that worked for you and your child?
– With most (and mine) just look for the signs that they are ready. It doesn’t matter the age. Some will be faster than others. When they start acting uncomfortable after they make a mess, or they start asking/pointing out that they need to be changed is a good time to push it.
– Like anything else, kids copy. When you have to go, tell them. Act excited about it. (I know for many of you, this is the only alone time you have, but this is a relatively short period. You’ll get your time back, lol!) You can even encourage them to watch—TRUST ME, IT WILL BE OK!
– This may not be the most delightful thing, but when changing #2’s, dump it in the toilet and flush rather than wrapping the diaper/pull-up and throwing away. They will begin to associate that the potty is where #2 belongs and its ok to put it there.
***What would you say is the least effective strategy when trying to potty train your child?
– Starting before they are ready is the biggest one.
– Do not bribe them, just encourage them and show them that they did something good.
– Do not be too hard on accidents, they can/will regress.
***Do you think we put too much pressure on ourselves as mothers (in addition to our children) to train at a certain time (such as to reach deadlines like the one I have to meet)?
– Yes/No – Sometimes we just miss the obvious signs that they are ready to start nudging them toward the potty. If we miss them and a situation like this arises, then the pressure is on!
– Be aware that for some kids, the potty is scary. I have no idea why, but it is. Some kids also feel a sort of ‘loss anxiety’ I guess? They don’t want to get rid of their mess and will only do it when they can’t help it. It’s weird, but true. Encouragement that it’s ok helps.
***What are some things that worked for you in terms of keeping this whole experience stress free for both the parent and the child?
– There is no stress-free solution. It is all dependent on the tyke. Just keep in mind that you aren’t necessarily doing anything wrong, you just haven’t found what works for them.
Hope this helps a few of you!
Well, I’m not an expert by any means, but I have done this twice now so I’ll share my thoughts. First I’m going to say that I don’t train at all for night time. When I did the daytime training I started using pull ups at night, calling them night time panties simply to avoid confusion. Some people say you can train your kids to stay dry at night but I didn’t want them to reach this milestone because they were dehydrated. Plus it didn’t bother me to use pull ups at night as long as needed.
I trained my first daughter at 18 months. She was super easy and within three days of putting panties on her she was done. Easiest thing ever, I thought! Did I mention I was 36 weeks pregnant, too? I was the potty training master!! Ha! Haha!!
My second daughter was much more stubborn! I tried at 19 months using the same method I did the first time, even sending my husband and older daughter away for a weekend so I could concentrate on her. She did great. However, she didn’t stay that way. Over the next five months or so, we struggled with her. She would have great days with no accidents and other days where she wouldn’t have one. Oh, and then there was the poop. That was never done in the toilet. Always in the panties. The worst part was that she wouldn’t even tell us. She would either go on the floor and move on or wait for one of us or her sister to notice.
I tried many methods. The first time it was mostly my own version of the book potty train in a day. I didn’t expect it to work in a day – and it didn’t. But I liked how it taught your child to be independent pottiers. The one part of that that backfired for me both times was the excessive liquid. My kids don’t drink juice so when I gave them a bunch as was instructed they had an almost steady stream of urine and had less success on the toilet. Maybe if your kids drink more liquids regularly it wouldn’t be so bad. I also did many hours of Internet research, tried all kinds of bribes. I made her clean all messes (let me state that she laughed when she had accidents, excitedly told us she had pooped and in general we could tell she thought it was funny and they were not “accidents”). I talked all the time about the rewards of wearing panties and being a big girl. It didn’t work, she didn’t care! I also bought the e-book at 3daypottytraining.com. I will say that the personal help I hot there was VERY helpful. You can ask them your questions and they will give you tips and advice. As many times as you need!!
Then, one day, it worked. She started doing everything in the potty. For her, I think they key was her sister starting preschool a few days a week. She was alone with me, she got all the attention. She got to run errands, be my helper, etc. She seemed to grow and become her own person rather than just her sister’s follower.
So, here is my (unprofessional) opinion. You have to find the method that works for you and your child. I think there are many good methods out there and each of them will work for the right child.
I feel that each child has a few windows of good times to potty train. My first one was so young that she still loved to make me happy. If mom was excited, she was excited. I think this made a big difference. She hadn’t hit that independent phase yet. Each child hits that phase at a different age so my second one definitely was there at a younger age. Therefore I think her window was a little older. I think if you miss this young window you will have to wait for another.
One thing that I did was put my kids on the toilet from about nine months old. Yes, I said nine months! I did nit potty train them. I did nit take them out of diapers. In my mind it was simply getting them used to it, making it a part of life and making it fun. We read a book or sang or blew bubbles. If something accidentally happened, we cheered. My thought was that we taught our kids to release in a warm diaper in many positions. Then we tried to take it away and tell them to hang their behind over a hole! Thus way the toilet was never a foreign object.
Another thing is that I never had a deadline. I don’t mean this the wrong way, but I think it will he harder for you trying to get this done before school. Pressure doesn’t help. I think it takes six months to a year AFTER they are trained for them to be totally independent about it. To get to that point where you not only don’t have to remind them but that they stop telling you they have to go and they just go. I think no matter if you start at 18 months or 2.5 years or 4 years it is going to take 6-12 months to be completely done, to the no reminding point.
My second daughter has now been successful for about five months. She can go all by herself and has even started going without telling me sometimes. She even told me last week she wanted to wear big girl panties to bed like her sister instead of a pull up and hasn’t had an accident at night once! But I still remind her if I notice it’s been a while since she has gone.
I’m pregnant now so I’ll do this yet again. I also watch a little girl a few days a week who is 20 months and her parents are working with her so I’m helping with that.
My best advice is to make it fun for her. To not pressure her. But to be consistent and repetition is the key. If you sort of do it, it will take a long time. You have to buckle down and do it. Set a date, clear your calendar and concentrate on the task at hand.
Good luck!!
You are SO awesome for writing this comment, thank you for all of the great advice here! I agree, every kid is different and I am hoping she is much easier than my son. He took for-ev-er and I obviously am on a deadline. I will be referring back to this as sound advice from a mama who was succssful at it! Thank you for the words of encouragement, too!!
I worked in a day care where the kids had to be fully potty trained before they could move on to the 3 year old room. While I understand the reasoning, I saw so many kids have problems because they just weren’t ready.
My advice is to be consistent without putting too much pressure on the child. it may take some time, but find what works for your child. With my daughter, stickers were the best incentive. We had sticker charts all over the house! With my son, he could have cared less. Tootsie Rolls ended up being the best incentive for him.
My daughter was easier to potty train than my sons. I also had more time to work with her so that might have made a difference also. The hang up for my daughter was #2. She didn’t like pooing on the toilet. She did work past that though.
I didn’t bother to much with a potty chair. All three preferred using the BIG POTTY. Even Tesla preferred being picked up to use the big potty over the one she could sit on. Try going right to the big potty. Be consistant asking often if they have to use the potty. Like every hour…similar to puppy training. Housebreaking a puppy is probably easier…sigh.
Good luckies!!
P.
I think one pitfall for potty training is that, at first, kids will have accidents and we give up thinking they aren’t ready. I found while potty training my little guy that they aren’t used to having to watch for the signs. This cause some problems at first because some kids don’t even notice they have to go until they have gone. This doesn’t neccessarily mean they aren’t ready, just that they haven’t ever had to pay attention to the signs and it may take a week of accidents to finally click.I find taking a potty trip every 10-15 minutes after they have eaten or drank to be a good policy.It is a lot of work , but worth it. I think the most important thing you can do is keep the experience calm and nonchalant. If you get really angry or stressed your kids may start equating potty time as something bad and scary. That being said, some kids just are not ready and you have to wait, but give it a good go before giving up!
I just talked about my 3 day experience on my blog.
But, I’m a firm believer in waiting until they are ready. There did seem to be a competition where moms were saying that theirs were trained earlier than mine…but in the end, I don’t think it matters. It’s not like in kindergarten, the kids are sitting around talking about how long they were in diapers.
By waiting til mine were really ready, I didn’t have to work on it with them for months or even weeks- it was over in days!
I read your post. And you rocked it, with wine of course! 😉
i posted about my approach last month just after i completed training with my 2nd boy
(he’ll be 3 in may)
http://www.wonderwomanwannabe.com/2011/01/everything-you-need-to-know-about-potty.html
Every child is different. It doesn’t hurt to test out each other’s ideas for incentives or strategies for motivation, but when it comes down to it, it is the child that is going to decide when they are ready to potty like a big kid. It can be a little stressful when your child’s peers are entering into the world of toilet using & we are still changing diapers, but we can’t beat ourselves up about it. It could be the beginning of a vicious cylcle; first potty training, then reading levels, then sports teams…it goes on and on. Potty training for us was a much more pleasant experience once we took away the pressure of deadlines. We ended up buying our little girl some cute princess undies & told her that only big girls that go in the potty get to wear them. In a week, she was good to go. She is now on week 3 of being officially potty trained. Hang in there…they can and will do it! Our daughter did most of the work. We were there as her cheerleaders; offering praise & motivation.
I need to get these princess undies!!!
I think everyone has different approaches to potty training and you really need to do what is best for your family/child. We waited until Sadie was 2 1/2 and did a cold turkey potty training weekend, which happened to be a 3 day weekend so hubs was home on Monday. We used one of those little potties and it followed her everywhere- in the bathroom, living room, outside in the back yard. She had accidents, she sat and sat and sat on that thing- the 1st 24 hours were hell. And then she went and it just clicked. She never went back to diapers after that weekend. She was ready. Within a month we had transitioned her to going on the big potty. I consider myself lucky with this experience. Now Tyler…I don’t think it will be that easy!
I started potty training my son a little before he was two because he showed interest and understood what he was supposed to be doing. He would tell me when he needed to go and as long as someone took him, he went on the big potty [without a seat or anything…and without a childs potty on the floor. I feel like those throw a child off when they have to transition to a regular toilet]. I also put regular big boy underwear on him because sticking him in a pullup is no different than a diaper. He did REALLY great for about a month. And then he totally lost interest. We haven’t started it back up again because we drove across country and have been in the process of moving and unpacking here in Alaska, but we’re getting ready to start back…hoping that this time it will stick.
Looking forward to seeing what all has worked with other moms. We did the 3 day training method last time, and though it worked [for a while] it was EXTREMELY time consuming. Taking a trip to the potty every 5 minutes means you don’t get much else accomplished.
Our little guy was potty trained by his 2nd birthday. I think the key to our success was cloth diapers and training pant – nothing disposable!! From very early on he would let us know his displeasure with a wet/dirty bottom. I bought a couple of potty chairs (garage sales!) and initially place one in the living room. We let him explore it and sit on it whenever he chose – no pressure. We used a Thanksgiving weekend to go ‘pants-free’! Of course we had our share of accidents (thank goodness for hardwood floors), but by the end of the weekend he was ‘reading’ the signs of having to go potty. We asked him every 45min to an hour to go pee. We didn’t insist, but would check in five minutes if he said ‘no’. We also gave him a choice of where – potty chair or big potty (and eventually a little urinal). We definitely made it fun – we made up a potty song for heading to the bathroom and sitting on the potty. We kept a lot of books in the bathroom and a comfortable stool (for mom or dad). If he went we celebrated – lots of ‘whoots’ and ‘yipees’ and high-fives! Sometimes we rewarded with ONE M&M – he got a red one if he pooped! In the warmer weather we let him pee outside if that is where we happened to be – our backyard was OK, but out in public got tricky because he would just drop his pants where he was!!! We just kept up this routine on a daily basis until he was able to go on his own.
I do want to point out the we were not on a deadline, so we remained relaxed and patient. We are both working parents so we had to rely on our babysitter to follow through – which, believe it or not, was a struggle. She is older and didn’t think boys should potty train until they were 3!!! I had to stop sending diapers and just sending several changes of cotton training pants (and changes of pants too). Luckily, our little guy was persistent and ‘pestered’ her enough to put him on the potty.
Praise, motivation, and encouragement were the key elements!! Even with accidents we tried to remain positive.
Good Luck!! We have #2 Boy on the way – so we’ll see how round 2 goes!
Oh gosh, where to begin. I have four kids, two boys (17 and 10) two girls (6 and 4). In my experience, the child will let us know when they are ready. If you start too early then you deal w/ stress. Stress on the child, stress on the parent, never good. My advice, take it slow, be intune to your kid and he/she will let you know when they are ready.
When the time comes, take them to buy their very own potty and big girl/boy underwear.
Love that idea – to have HER pick out the “big girl” undies!
Not to be dramatic, but I felt like potty training my son was the bane of my existence. And it was all driven by a pre-school deadline that, in retrospect, he simply wasn’t ready to meet at age 3. If I had it to do over, I would not have kept him in that school because the deadline of 3 is not realistic for all kids. My son is willful to boot, so it became a total power struggle and took forever. Bottom line: Wait until they are ready. My daughter is 19 months old and sometimes I think she is ready, but the household joke is that *I’m* not ready to live through that again — at least not yet
This is why I am stressing. My son would have never made that deadline either and he took for-ev-er. I am hoping it will be different training my girl!!
potty training is my worst nightmare. i absolutely hate it- there’s no such thing as experience potty training, because every child is different and you never know what you’re going to get.
my son potty trained when he was 3 1/2. i tried earlier, but he just never understood the concept, so i didn’t rush it in order to spare my sanity. he wore pull-ups, i asked him when he had to go, and eventually he didn’t need the pullups anymore.
my daughter is 2 1/2 and i really want to potty train her now, but she is just not ready. she is terrified of the potty, and although she knows when she poops she still doesn’t understand peeing. i try to catch her before she poops to sit her on the potty, but so far all i’ve successfully done is constipate her for two days. :/ i tried the “straight to panties” approach, but all she did was pee all over the place. she still completely soaks through a diaper at night, so i’m pretty sure she isn’t ready. this summer, i will try the “straight to panties” approach again, except i will put her in the back yard to avoid a wet couch. we’ll see what happens then…
I am reading this and thinking I should bookmark it.
The truth is, my oldest kind of potty trained himself. I was pregnant at the time, and planning to wait until my 2nd trimester to tackle the training (I was so nauseated that first trimester; the thought of hanging out in the bathroom while someone pooped was not high on my list!). But… he wanted to go on the potty at preschool, so he came home and said, “I’m done with diapers and I want to use the potty.”
I thought we might as well go for it since he was interested. And since it was his idea, he was fully on board. We had a few accidents (of course), but overall he figured out really quickly.
Now this second child of mine? I can see him being a very different story. We aren’t quite there yet, but check back with me in six months or so and see if I’m pulling out my hair! 😉 I’ll be referencing this discussion for tips and tricks.
Children here in Italy are expected to be potty trained by the fall of their third year for preschool, but many are potty trained earlier. My boy just turned three last week and has not shown even the remotest inclination to be potty trained. I’m planning on just seeing how it goes, cause I would like him to be ready but if he’s showing no signs by the summer I’m just going to leave him diaperless out in the yard and hope he gets tired of wetting his clothes… or something to that effect. Seriously though, the commenter that said it takes between 6 months to a year for children to really be potty trained kind of freaked me out. If that’s the case then we are really late jumping on the bandwagon. And yet, I don’t want to force him… Am very interested in reading your experiences!
Yea, we used the 3 day potty train at home, and it worked fairly well for our 3 yr old. That’s to say if your child is developmentally ready. We went back and forth with accidents over the next three months, but it was never annoying for us. We knew it was just gonna take some time for her to grow into it. It seems each child is so different in their age of being ready. What I have really wondered for some time now is the issue of ‘having’ kids potty trained for a class/program. It sure does seem to put alot of stress on parents these days. One friend of mine couldnt start a job because her child could not attend the childcare program she had enrolled her in. No potty trained child= no child center= unemployed mom. What a stress?!? I’m wondering when society is gonna start dealing with this issue.
JDaniel has an August deadline for preschool. He can use the potty, but have limited interest in doing so. I am hoping to inspire him this spring. I read many of Shell’s linked posts on training and have a few ideas.
Hi! I’ve successfully trained two so far! A boy and a girl, if that helps. My first strategy is to wait as long as possible. My son was a few months over 3 and my daughter was almost 3. In both cases it took a few days. I waited until THEY were ready. That was the key. BUT, in the case of your pre-school situation (I had the same thing) you can help her “be ready” by talking about all the big girl things she’ll get to, have her pick out cool undies, etc. I do the daytime, including naps, first . . . then bedtime when the pullups are dry for a week straight. I used rewards, too. 2 M&Ms for pee and 5 for poo. Also, I found it did NOT work to make my kids go on a schedule. I just had to trust if they didn’t have to go, they didn’t have to go. That’s the hardest part! I still have another one to train. This was a good review for me!
I personally think that Potty Training isn’t really “training” or “work” when your kid is ready to use the potty. 2 1/2 is young for some kids. For some, they are ready. For others, they aren’t. I once read (before my 2nd attempt at Potty Training my son – first attempt was a three week ordeal of “trying” to get him into the potty idea….second attempt was no attempt at all because I followed the advice I read and basically let him decide it was time six weeks later)….the advice was to just put the potty out…let him stand on it as a stool. Let him make his stuffed animals “go” on it, etc. Don’t MAKE him sit on it, etc. He was interested in no time. We did use a little rewards system once he showed more interest as to reward him for telling us he had to go. If we asked him to go, no reward. If he did it on his own, he got a sticker. 5 stickers = 1 quarter for skiball at the arcade (his favorite–at the time.)
Okay I can maybe help people with girls at a very young age, but boys I am no good and looking for help. Miles is 2 1/2 and has had GI problems for a year. He is constantly constipated and the pediatrician says he will struggle to feel the urge to go. He is now starting to potty train only because we know that when he says his belly or bottom hurts that there is something there that is already starting to come out. Poor kid. At the same time, we are starting to potty train our 13 month old daughter Violet, and she can already poop in the potty.
Our first daughter was potty trained by 18 months and was pull ups free even at night before she was 2. It was so simple to watch her face and put her on the potty as soon as she could walk and it turns out our little one is the same way. She sits in the morning and then after lunch and then before bed and we get a lot of poop! She loves to sit on chairs and so the potty is fun. I am just hoping it will be as easy with her!
I would encourage people to try early (with no pressure) when kids are really young. Get a potty and read books on it. Make it fun. It just may work!
So anyone have any suggestions on potty training with a GI problem? I need help!
Well, I have an somewhat agreeable child so this could be biased.
She goes to a full time daycare program and they approached me when she was 18 months old to start potty training, but I wasn’t ready. So when she was 22 months, I decided it was time to try.
We just started out in underwear, no pull ups or antyhing.
I asked them what they were going to be doing, so there wouldn’t be any confusion.
For the first few days they took her to the bathroom every thirty minutes.. Still in diaper for nap time and for outside time (an hour long). Then it went to every hour for a few days, then an hour and half, now it’s about every two hours we take her to the bathroom.
She was totally trained by her second birthday in January of last year. In March and April we had a set back, but we worked through it and now she’s three and it’s so rare for her to have an accident.
I think the parents have to be ready more than the kids!
Oh my gosh, everyone is talking potty training! My friend was on that GMA seg and Shell has a post up about potty training today. I have to admit I’m slightly relieved that we’re a little ways away from that. There is no way in hell I’m pressuring my son. Best of luck love. I hear girls are easy! I’m reading right along waiting for my time 😉
I am right there with so many of you all in the ups and downs and confusion of potty training. Being a pediatrician has been helpful only because I see so many other kids so I get a bigger picture of the huge range in age that kids potty train. But when I’m home and trying to encourage my son to use the potty, I get so frustrated nevertheless. Most of it is my own impatience. There is no reason for me to be frustrated at my son. I’m just tired of cloth diapering and wiping his butt.
A lot of times, I step back and remind myself of all the same things I say to parents (because it’s always easier when they’re not your own!):
– A child really is ready when they’re ready. You can’t wish their sphincter muscles into working. If only…
– Getting angry or making it a big deal will usually backfire and create a weird dynamic that tends to make things worse. This is the hardest part because it means making yourself back off a little.
– Continue to praise any progress made. Sticker charts and simple rewards provide concrete ways for a kid to see their own progress. But again, it still goes back to when they are ready and interested.
– Allow them to have some naked time with a potty ready. Often kids are holding but they can’t hold long enough. This at least allows them to make it close to the potty and be proud that they tried. (Don’t shame them or scold them for the mess when they don’t make it) This one is hard for people to do though if they aren’t home with the kids.
– Wear the right clothes so that it’s easy to take off in time.
– Bring them into the bathroom with you.
– Schedule regular bathroom breaks so they try going even if they don’t “feel” like it. Kids are often too engrossed in play to stop for something as inconsequential as peeing/pooping.
– Consider temperament. This is the part where parents truly know their own child best. Try to allow your child to take the lead as much as possible, and go from there as you figure out what helps or doesn’t help.
– There really is something to the whole “boys potty train later” observation. So if you have a boy, don’t be discouraged. (I keep telling this to myself)
I know a lot of parents who try to introduce the potty too early and it just results in frequent regressions/accidents, versus when the child is ready and willing and potty trains quickly with few regression afterwards.
And also, my heart feels for you that you have a “deadline” due to preschool. I get really frustrated by preschools who have the pottytrained requirement. It’s just so unfair to parents, especially given that it is PERFECTLY normal and common to not potty train until 3 – 4 years old.
My daughter trained at 23 months because she wanted to. My son is nearing 2 1/2 and he’s petrified. I think we put a lot of pressure on getting it done by a certain age. The truth is that all kids develop at their own pace. They’re not always ready at the “recommended” age. I think laying off the pressure helps. It took three days to train my daughter because she was ready. My son has to be ready by Fall too, but that’s a long way off. Potty training during warmer months is easier bc clothes are less constricting and can be easily removed (esp. for girls). There’s no harm in practicing (Liam sits on the potty before his bath every night) but I wouldn’t push it until crunch time…and then just stay home for 4 days and get it done! Pull-ups are confusing…avoid those if you can! And M&M’s are a good thing…