I met my husband in a bar.
I know, not the most romantic way of meeting the person you are about to spend the rest of your life with but I believe love hits you when you least expect it and sometimes, in the most unexpected of places, too.
Last night I was on the couch sitting next to my hubby watching The Bachelor. He usually doesn’t get sucked into this kind of television but there really wasn’t anything else on so he continued to watch with me. An obligatory viewing, if you will.
As we continued to watch these women fall all over this unstable guy, I could only think of one thing: I am so happy to be married – happily married.
Don’t get me wrong, my marriage is FAR from perfect. We’ve had many dark days as any marriage goes through and I’m sure there will be many more tough times ahead. We, like the rest of the world, experience the very highest of highs and lowest of lows. But somehow, we always seem to come out of it on top.
Together.
And stronger than where we came from.
This relationship is a process, one that we BOTH have to work at every day. Married life is not what I expected it to be but at least I chose to live a life with the man I truly believe is meant for me; one that I love more than he’ll ever know.
Is this a love letter of sorts to the man I married?
Perhaps.
But I think it’s more of a thank you – a thank you for choosing to walk down this path with me; for loving me FOR ME, taking the good with the bad and all that’s in between. And loving me more even than he did yesterday as I sit in my sweatpants, hair in a ponytail with barely any make-up on, eating some salty popcorn watching some brainless reality tv…
At one point throughout the show I grabbed my husband’s hand and looked at him. I mean, really looked at him and thanked him for being my partner in life – THIS life, we built together.
So, to those women who continue to sign up for The Bachelor? I wish them luck on their quest for finding love – since this is a show that reminds me how lucky I am to have found mine.
What an honest post – Happily Married and a Perfect Marriage aren’t the same thing for me either. I am sometimes in awe of the patience that my husband has! Thanks for sharing another touching moment.
Such a sweet love letter! How lucky you both are to have each other. I’ve been married ten years and realize it’s not about some idyllic ever after but instead about someone who’ll go through the highs and lows with you, as you say, and, at the end of the day, still love me, in my sweatpants and pony tail.
We are so fortunate!
xox
OK, wait, how the heck do you have time to sit and watch TV???
But in all seriousness, I can tell how great you two are. Through several of your posts talking about your husband and your marriage, I can see you truly are happily married. I love your honesty about the dark days you’ve weathered and the ones that will surely come.
You know the sad thing about those women is I don’t think they understand what a real marriage is about. It won’t be a bed of roses when they do get married and trying to find a husband this way is just setting them up for failure! I really feel sad for all of them and glad for you and me….it might have not been as romantic, but we have a marriage that will last longer than their ideals…
Goosebumps. I always think the same thing when watching those shows. I am so glad I am not in the dating world anymore but even more happy that I have found my perfect mate. Oh and we met in a bar too, such romantics!
Can you imagine actually going on TV like that to meet a guy…and then sharing him with all these other women before finding out if he really wanted to be with you?? No thanks! I’ll take the ups and downs of marriage any day!
Beautiful post heather, can you imagine dating – ugh. Tell my hub I would travel around the world with our girls rather than stay here and be hit upon by what I see out there. When I first met my husband, I was with someone else and I spent two weeks trying to set him up with two of my girlfriends. Til I saw the light and realised that this man had come into my life for a reason … one of them who is still single and still a good friend, reminds me that I stole her man 😉
I hate reality tv shows! There is nothing real about them at all! ugg….
Now your life, how you met your husband, and your life together that’s reality! 100% real. Nothing staged or fake about it.
Being married is like a full time job. You have to work hard and put forth effort to keep it and see the rewards of it.
I met my husband at a bar too! In New York City…not only that but he was at a bachelors party! My mom said it happens when you least expect it. She was right. It’s 24 years of marriage so far.
I, too, met my husband in a bar. I often think what a lucky coincidence it was that we were both there at the same time. We exchanged numbers & I eventually left with him that night. We’ve been together ever since & I never looked back.
There are bad times, but that’s what marriage is- working through the dark days so the light ones seem lighter.
This is the first post I’ve ever read here. Ever. I really enjoyed it. There is nothing like watching a television dating show to experience an affirmation of your own marriage. Every time The Bachelor comes on I quickly switch the channel (STILL can’t watch) and hit my knees in thanksgiving for my groom…warts and all.
I was thinking the same thing last night…like Thank God I dont have to go through that! I have been with my hubby for 15 years….and he is the best thing {literally} that has happened to me. I guess I was one of the lucky ones to have found him so early
There are so many times that I thank God that I met my husband and that we have what we have. I can’t imagine continuing to be on the search to find someone.
Looking back on how unexpected the timing was when I met my husband, and how things just continued to unfold, showing us time and time again that we were right for each other. Looking at this, I’m always surprised by women who try to force love and affection by signing up for it…especially on television.
I met my husband in a bar, too! You just never know…
We think the same thing. You know there are people on the show just for the attention and publicity, but there are those who honestly are looking for a partner. Dating looks so hard these days!
Love the new look!
<3 it! I met my hubby in a chat room online…..in 1998….we were 13 & 14!
we have our lowest of lows (usually leading up to, during & after the return from a deployment) and our highest of highs but I wouldn't pick another person to love this crazy military life with. I don't like it because I'm scared to lose him but I love him so much that if all I get is one more year I want everyday of that year than to never have had it.
Wonderful post!
So sweet!
We’ve been together almost 17 years and it still amazes me that I’d rather spend time with him than anyone else. Like you, our marriage is not without challenges, but somehow we always take them in stride and come out stronger.
It must be a reflective kind of day because I wrote a post about marriage as well. In general, marriage is not perfect. But if you can go through struggles and come out better people with a stronger relationship, than I think YOUR marriage is perfect for YOU.
What a beautiful post.
I do not understand the shows on TV with men and women looking for love, really? My marriage has been through a lot including a separation during my lows of postpartum depression. My husband was by my side the entire time. I thank him every single day, for sticking with me through the hard times, even if I was such a mean and miserable person for almost 2 years. LOVE is amazing and so is marriage. It takes 2 to make it work.
None of my bar boyfriends turned out well so husband and I met at church.
I’m so glad you’re happily married – it’s great, isn’t it?
Oh yes, I totally agree! I’m SO happy to have my husband. The relationship drama is okay- ON TV. Not in my home.
i met my husband in a girl’s teeny bopper clothing store. (where he was WORKING) Debs, in case your familiar. if something ever happened to him, i have already resigned myself to living the rest of my life alone… there’s no way in HELL i ever want to go through the mess of dating and getting to know someone else EVER AGAIN.
I also met my huusband at a bar. Lucky for us the bar was called “The Zoo” so we just tell people we met at the Zoo
Such a blessing to know the person who stands next to you is meant to be right there! I know exactly how you feel and will leave all the mumbo jumbo drama for the TV!
The hardest part is not taking each other for granted. Sometimes it takes reality tv to remind you of that. And I’m right there with you – would not want to be out there trying to find love. But I’m glad others are – gives me something to LMAO when I watch it on TV!!
I love this! I found mine, too. On Match.com of all places. LOL And marriage IS a lot of work. Having a child changed our relationship in ways we had never imagined. Then we decided I would stay home with her, and the dynamics really got turned around. It can be tough. You have to stay connected, remember what brought you together, and ALWAYS practice open, honest communication. We will celebrate our four year anniversary in a couple of weeks.
awww, congrats on finding your Mr. haha. yes, i tell my hubbi all the time how lucky I am to have him, and how lucky he is to have me =)
marriage is ALOT of work and i’m happy to say we’re doing great with ours so far. this is an excellent post!
Oh, the Bachelor. What can one say about the Bachelor? I’m always sad for the contestants, who seem so hopeful “I am falling in love with him! I feel a real connection!” Alas.
Lovely post. Just got back from a romantic trip with Mr. Momtrends and feeling the same way.
Great post. True love when you can watch tv in your pajamas, hair a mess, no makeup, watching stupid reality tv together and not have to worry about what he is thinking about you. You are free to be yourself and to enjoy each other. Marriage is a lot of work but it is worth it if you have the right husband. Congrats to you and I hope you have more highs than lows in your life and your marriage.
Amen sista!
I am always so happy for what I have while watching those shows. I’m sure your husband was thinking the same thing about you!
What a sweet post! I have to say, I feel thankful every day that I found a kind, patient man to put up with me for the rest of our lives. I’m sure he had no idea what he was in for. Ha. It is so reassuring to know that we are in this together, he and I.
I met my husband in a bar too. He was so drunk he doesn’t even remember meeting me the first time. I was not impressed ;). But he was persistent and I came around and I’m still madly in live with him ten years later. I’ve often said I’m so glad I’m not on the dating scene and never want to be!!
Oh yes… The Bachelor definitely makes me grateful for my marriage. It may not be perfect but it is beautiful and it’s real… unlike some of the “love” of reality tv. Also, I think it’s awesome you met your husband in a bar!
Oh, this brought tears to my eyes Heather.
Lovely post about your husband and feeling grateful that you two found each other. I love it.
Especially the part about you “really looking at him”.
hear hear sister!! Very grateful indeed!
Nice post. It’s good to get those reminders of your blessings. I met my husband at Taco Bell when I was 18. A long time ago!
It’s so true, marriage is a marathon not a sprint. I have a friend who’s a single mom and hearing her stories of how hard it is to find someone makes me sooo greatful that B and I found each other and have stuck together for over 10 years.
So, so, so sweet! It makes me want to write a post about my hubby! If I do, I’ll link back to yours.
It’s a very bizarre scenario isn’t it? But you are right, it does make one grateful!
WELL WELL said!!!!!! God I am so lucky too. It is not a perfect marriage…but god we have fun and I can’t IMAGINE being in the dating scene. Total nightmare.
And by the way…we are so alike in more ways than one: I met my husband in bar too!
Very, very sweet! I’m glad that you and your husband realize that you BOTH have to work on your marriage every day – since a marriage is always a work in progress.
I’m hoping that love will hit me again when I least expect it…and maybe when I’m not even looking for it. 😉
Super sweet “thank you” note and cute huz!!
I know exactly what you mean, I feel very fortunate to be in a great marriage. All of my close friends are now divorced and that makes me really look at my husband and at our marriage. We fight, we laugh, we cry, we love and then we fight some more but at the end of the day I know we are on the same team.
So sweet. I think the same thing when I see ads for those shows, and as I watch my poor sister go after one poor choice or another. Marriage is definitely a two way street and takes a lot of work, but it’s awesome being able to spend my life with my very best friend in the world.
That’s right!
You met your hubby at a bar and I met mine on the subway
It’s so refreshing to hear someone talk about what marriage is really like.
Marriage isn’t what I expected either but we’re a team and we stick together!
Such a sweet love letter, Heather! Marriage is hard work. A garden that has to be nurtured. I don’t get the sense that most of the women on The Bachelor have any sense of that reality. It’s ironic that it’s called a “reality” show since it’s anything but. I think a lot of the women (and men) just want to be on TV. But despite that it does make for some guilty pleasure, mindless viewing!
This is a great post! Love reading how you and everyone else met their husbands. I met my husband at a party…my friend introduced us! I still thank her to this very day!
What a heart warming post. I met my husband backstage after a concert. Not how my mom would have wanted me to find him, I’m sure, but like you said…sometimes it just happens.
My husband works insane hours and was on tour from 10/09-10/10, so we sometimes have long periods of separation or are just ships crossing when he’s home. It can be hard. But, probably because of that, I never take him for granted. I have friends who complain a lot about their husbands or don’t treat them very well and it frustrates me. Marriage is hard work, and not to be taken for granted. Even during the lows. Been there.
Great post.