Especially since my last post was pretty heavy I thought I would keep things light today and add some humor…so let’s talk about the latest Facebook status updates that I’ve been reading lately which are kind of annoying. Alright, I take that back. They are kind of obnoxious. Really? Your marriage is that wonderful? And your kids? That perfect? And you, you are THAT happy?
Seriously.
Let’s get real.
Like you really enjoyed bringing your two year-old kid to see Santa today and the entire afternoon was absolutely picture perfect. Let’s take a moment to reflect on what really went down…
Basically, you stood in line for over an hour trying to keep your toddler entertained as your child pulled on the rope, cried out of boredom and asked 5,000 times if it was time to go yet. You also heard the words hungry and thirsty 127 times. THEN, once you got up to that magical moment your kid was either was too scared to sit on Santa’s lap or actually cried the moment the photo was snapped – and you? You were stuck paying $35 for a lame photo for Grandma and a key-chain you’ll never use. Oh, but yes, it was still SO awesome, right?
My other favorite is the portrait studio trip for the infamous holiday card. Anyone that tells you they fully enjoy bringing their children to get photos taken is a total liar. I seriously want to meet the very mothers who actually receive pure joy from this event.
I’ve been THAT mom sweating in the photo shoot juggling snacks, bottles and 9,000 other things {to again, keep the kids entertained throughout this all-day-no-end-in-sight-event} and after a long and grueling afternoon, my kids are done and so am I. They are cranky, tired and totally just want to go home but *I* have the pleasure of trying to control them with one eye as the other eye peers through nearly 100 lame proofs – all in the midst of doing this with 9 million other moms and their lovely kids on the same day in the same small studio.
Two words?
Fun times.
So my solution for the above situation is easy. We visit Santa on his “off” hours. Knowing his schedule in advance, we go early on a weekday morning so we end up only waiting about five minutes. Then when we get to that magical moment we snap 5,000 of our own photos and pass on the package that they offer. We always end up with better shots and then we don’t have to even think about that lame keychain. Total win-win and Grandma ends up happy, too.
As for the holiday cards? I refuse to go to a portrait studio again. My portrait days are over until my kids are like, twelve. Instead, I dress my kids up in the comfort of my own home and I snap away with my digital camera for about 15 minutes. I always end up with at least one good photo to use and then I use a company like Tiny Prints to make it look oh-so-spectacular. Easy peasy. No lines. No tantrums. No mess. And I end up with great cards.
So, while you are waiting in line to see Santa to spend a fortune on that awesome key chain or perhaps you are sweating it out at the portrait studio wrangling your kids who are literally pulling your hair out…
You’ll find me sipping some wine at home while listening to Christmas music, uploading the photo for our perfect holiday card and smiling – as I update my Facebook status.
We haven’t gone to see Santa or the portrait studio in years! The girls always cried when it came time to meet Santa and I’m in probably half the pictures of them with him.
Now I haven’t even tried to take the baby to see him… yea, I want to but I am NOT a glutton for punishment! Going to the mall at this time of year is bad enough without having to wait in line forever!
Not Fun.
Amen, sister! We stopped doing the holiday portraits a few years ago. How liberating! Cause, yeah, waiting in line for pictures, kids all uncomfy in their holiday outfits, waiting to pick your pictures, kids running around screaming, all for expensive okay photos and my kids always get sick like two days later from playing with the same prop Rudolph all the snotty-pukey kids do. So, I’m with you…at home. Drinking coco. By the fire. With happy kids. And a better Facebook status! Great post!
Oh my gosh, so true…..I read facebook status updates and roll my eyes(often).
Christmas crowds in general drive me batty…..I’m home sipping wine too
Precisely one of the reasons I am an on-location professional child/family portrait photographer. I am so happy to be the alternative to the zooey mall chains/studios where everyone is high strung, frustrated, and not feeling like themselves. The best photos, whether you or a professional take them – in my experience, (and Theta Mom’s too!) they come from the comfort of your own home environment. It is there that everyone is comfortable, and most importantly – themselves!
The funniest FB status I’ve seen regarding this whole Santa picture thing was by a 20 year old single mom, with a 7 month old, who she took to see Santa. Now we experienced moms all know that baby cried her little lungs out when on Santa’s lap! And we know that mom was texting while waiting in line the whole time.grrr….
But I am honestly very happy in my life and my marriage is great. My hubby is supportive and wonderful even with his flaws. My kids need some work but hey, they are just human.
This is so true! I have not done the portrait studio route in years, and the holidays are not picture perfect, they are crazy, stressful, make me want to down a vat of eggnog (heavy on the rum please.)
Thanks for keeping it real!
I have two words for you: Fast Pass. Best. Thing. Ever. Pay online, print out your receipt, show up at the mall and get to cut in front of everyone else. Instant Santa access. Do I feel bad for all the other crazy, stressed out, frantic parents. A little. But hey, they could have done the same. Momma’s gotta keep some tricks to herself.
I so hear you on this. i think its totally stupid and foolish of us women to act like everything is perfect when clearly other women with children and husbands know that its not perfect.
Finally! Someone else who admits the truth.
I can’t take mine to a portrait studio without it ending in tears. And I do mean mine. Seriously- trying to get 3 kids to pose for a pic? HA!!!!
You obviously have not been reading my status updates. LMAO!
Hmmm…I have yet to tackle Santa OR the portrait studio this year. I am hopeful it will go “okay”. And by okay I mean no one ends up in tears…and that includes me 😉
YES. I won’t do the portrait studio again either. Why subject oneself to unnecessary agony?
I did portrait studio with twins once, and never again. You know what I’m about if you’ve received my card.
I love this post! Too funny!
HA!!! I HATE perfect FB status updates. They seriously make me want to scream!! I think that people who post stuff like that are feeling the exact opposite and are trying to prove otherwise.
Glad you found some traditions that keep your holiday Merry. Good for you!
I’m with ya on the santa visit/christmas card photo, girl! I took photos this past summer ( we worked together her snapping away and me getting smiles and generally wrangling ) with over 200 shots we got about 20 keepers of our kiddos combined. It was such breeze to just browse those and pick one for shutterfly.
and as for FB updates – I’m always, but ALWAYS for reals! it’s way more fun to read anyhow!;)
oh my gosh – this is so true! I have grandchildren and it is the same with them as it was with my kids! Merry Christmas – make the most of your day.
I literally just spit my wine out reading this. SO FUNNY!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!! What is wrong with people? I took my kids mid-November to the picture people- now while I did get some cute shots of the kids, I literally was ready for a STIFF drink by 11:00am. In fact I think I tweeted about the horrific experience- shocker I know. The FB status updates- DYING. *My kids were perfect on our hike to get the tree today and my husband is the BEST ever!!!!!* BARF. TOTALY LIARS.
PS- #ILoveYou
OMG girl you read my mind. Ok I have a friend that constantly updates her status w/I have the best husband in the world, my kids are always so great, I love everything about being a mom and she even writes cheesy things on her husband’s page like I can’t wait to drink a glass of wine on our patio, you are so handsome…UMM hello he is sitting right next to you! It annoys me…and its all for show. I was going to write a post about this awhile ago but honestly she would totally know its about her, lol. Great post!
Seriously! I am so annoyed by hunky dory FB statuses and blog entries and photos that make things seem all too idyllic. You know their kids are whiny just like everyone else’s, and you get pissed off just like I do!
Haha! I just wrote a post about my disastrous attempt to take our Christmas card photo on my own. I was thinking about going to a studio next year to save myself some trouble, but now I see that can be just as bad if not worse. Thanks for the heads up!
I agree about the perky FB status updates, soooo annoying. I will quote one for you that someone I know actually posted “My house is so full of love I could burst.” Ironically (you knew this was coming), she and her husband were not even on speaking terms at the time.
Ha ha! I gave up studio pictures looooooonnnnnnggggg ago for this very reason!
My kids never liked to visit Santa. For some reason, they cried to see the EB way more. WTH??
This reminded me of the movie “A Christmas Story” and the Santa
“Ho. Ho. Ho.”
I so hear you…
Others I hate:
Those who leave quote after quote after quote…………..
Love the quotes, but one at a time, please!
And this: People who leave religious scripture, after religious scripture,
after religious scripture…..
I love Jesus, but one scripture at a time, too!
BTW- On my radio show tonight we are talking about Twitter- on the 29th we will discuss Facebook!
Info at the bottom of today’s post….
Forgot to leave my Twitter………..
This rings so true to me! I’ll never forget the year my boys were 1 and 3 and I spent a ridiculous amount of money on pictures at a studio that were horrendous because the boys (and I!) were cranky and tired and didn’t want to be there. I ended up using a candid of my boys fooling around in front of the Christmas tree. My boys are 6 and 8 and I haven’t been to a studio since. God bless digital cameras and Photoshop!
I love it. I am not on FB, but I absolutely LOVE this!
You made me read this b/c we’re going to see Santa today. The kids are pretty good b/c we get there early and try to avoid lines like most people avoid touching the public bathroom doors after they wash their hands!
I hate happy FB statuses…if you aren’t making fun of yourself or someone else, I have no time for you!!!
Haha. I hardly get on facebook anymore, because it seems like everyone updating their status is either super fake, or always complaining. It’s annoying!
It’s funny b/c it’s TRUE! The only reason I even bought a Santa picture was because they wouldn’t allow you to take your own pictures unless you bought one of their outrageously priced packages. Grr!
JDaniel has been placed in the same red leather chair for the last three years. It is so easy to get it done at home. No one has to hear me ask him to sit still or sit up!
Great post! A girlfriend of mine made the same anti-studio decision a few years back. Now she spends at least an hour or two trying to get her two little guys to sit still long enough for at least one good picture…but at least it’s all in the comfort of home!
This was awesome!!! I’m not a mother but as a person that walks by the Santa display regularly every Christmas I can vouch that you speak the absolute truth! This is reason #121 why I’m not a parent yet. And why I totally get that it’s not an easy job, but a rewarding one. xo
Facebook is just another place to try and look like you have your shi* together. No one really wants everyone to know their kids can be bratty and they are tired of being a mom. Or that they haven’t bathed in several days cause when the kids finally fall asleep all they can do is fall into bed and hope to catch some rest before doing it all over again the next day.
We take our own pictures for cards. I think Hubby would divorce me if I said lets take professional pictures….especially after getting me a digital slr. Even if I don’t really know what the heck I’m doing!
I love this post! I refuse to do the whole Santa/Christmas card thing. I think we’ve done one and that was one too many. Now I just laugh at the crazy parents in line torturing their kids with Santa. Of course, my kids may grow up and need therapy because I never took them to see Santa! LOL
Amen sister. I live in the land of everything’s a joy, life is perfect, I never get angry or frustrated, my husband is just a dream beyond dreams, etc. I given to nick naming the women around me the Stepford Wives. I mean they have to be some sort of alien robots or something, right?
LOL I LOVE it!!
Its all so true!
Bahahahaha!!! Loved it!
Amen! My son is just over a year old, and there is no way I’m going to stand in line to wait for Santa or deal with the insanity at a photo studio. Our neighborhood is bringing Santa to us (yay for our HOA!) this weekend, and for our cards, we used some shots we snapped of him playing over Thanksgiving. Done and done!
Had my own photography biz for 5 years, a mobile studio. Did some daycares and then we got into the homeschool market (we homeschooled!) We did “school” pics as well as family pics. We even had some Christmas backgrounds and decor, but no Santa. I loved what I did, and I tried my best to make it a less horrible experience for the moms and kids. Kids seemed to like me and the little ones could sense I was a mom (and a grandma!) For the most part it went real well.
As far as the studios in the mall, etc, those people for the most part, have been taught how to push a button and sell you stuff. They have no passion, or compassion, or creativity!
Nowadays, with a good digital camera, most folks CAN do it on their own!
Which is why I am out of business, lol!
Bernice
Sounds like you are where we were after 1 too many of those events when the kids were small. We did Santa 1 time with my son. He was 9 months old & threw a fit for the pic. It was my mother’s idea & the last time I let her talk me into that. It was exactly as you described- which is why we never wasted our money on it again.
Studio portraits- Interestingly enough, we could never really afford the studio portraits when the kids were small enough for it to be a nightmare. We only had professional pics done of them a couple times when they were small because of the nightmare that it is. It’s not limited to Christmas time you know- it’s like that all the time!! I always did the pics myself. Before digital cameras I would blow through 3-4 rolls of film and maybe get 1-2 good shots. Because of those early times- I am completely in love with my digital cameras & seriously – how did we ever get along with out them?? This year we did professional pics- only instead of an actual studio we went to the mother of my daughters dance teacher. She has her professional studio in her home. So much more relaxed. The kids were comfortable, we could take our time & she emailed me the proofs so I could view them with my husband over the weekend to make our decision. Yes it was a bit more expensive but even with as easy as life has become now that the kids are older (12,10 & 7) I will pay the extra in order to make the entire experience a bit more enjoyable. If my experience was like you described- it would make me never do it again. Fortunately – I am that mom that truly enjoyed watching my kids turn on the star power and enjoy their photo shoots. There was nothing about it that I have a complaint about.
Cards are out- most of the shopping is done. All that is left is mailing a few packages and wait for the Toy’s R Us boxes to arrive and get wrapping. My goal is to simplify the season & actually enjoy it a bit this time.
I refuse to visit Santa at the mall..it’s too crazy! Instead, we wait outside of Santa’s house in a local town. Yes, it may be cold, but we don’t wait long!
We’re totally skipping the Santa at the mall this year. A local consignment shop has a Santa this weekend, and is taking pictures FOR FREE! Can’t beat that. And my Christmas cards? Just used some of the million shots I took over the past year. Which has made me realize that I’m in like zero shots.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for keeping it real! I’m longing for authentic, real dialogue, based in truth. How can we help, encourage and support each other if we aren’t willing to be honest? This is why I’m a fan of Thetamom. Thanks again for another reminder that the real of joy of motherhood is enjoying the “ups” and surviving the “downs”. Sometimes we experience more growth in the “valley” experience than the “Mountain top” one. Thanks again. You are appreciated!
HA! I can’t even tell you how stressful I find the holidays. We had photos taken Saturday morning and my son and dog were not in the mood, putting it nicely! I did the photos myself last year and I think last year’s is better! Love Tiny Prints!
Theta Mom,
You are dead on. So sick of people waxing poetic about visiting tree at Rock Center. Have you been there? Just went to American Girl Doll and wanted to poke my eyes out.
Thanks for the breath of fresh air. I wrote about a similar topic in this week’s post. Check out: http://cookingwithjeanne.blogspot.com/2010/12/christmakah-as-we-know-it-latkes.html
Best,
Amy
Heather I am so with you. We take our pics here at home and don;t even dare to do the Santa pics. The kids wave from afar. And hey I’m so busy I’m having trouble even finding time to update my facebook status at all!
Haha! I feel you, Mama. I am so glad I can take my *own* Holiday pictures. I have never actually taken my kid to a Photo Studio, except once when my sister worked at Sears and he was a month old, and we go see Santa at Bronner’s (Bronners.com if you’re curious to look) and go early on Saturday morning. No lines. He screamed last year, but that’s ok. He may actually like him this year LOL *cheers*
See, now if my blog wasn’t anonymous, you could be my friend on FB and my sometimes embarrassingly realistic status updates would soothe your soul!
There was this great grocery store when I lived up north that offered a Santa for pictures- FREE- it was the best kept secret…no lines and he was the most authentic-looking Santa… we haven’t gone for pictures since moving….
And I used to not mind holiday portraits when it was just The Boy Child… he was so easy… Then I had The Girl Child… um yeah, like you said… Fun Times!
Now that E is 5 the visit to Santa wasn’t too bad in terms of enduring the wait. But, like you, I am DONE with the whole portait studio thing. I think the last time we did it was when he turned 4. As you described, the whole endeavor is a monumental pain in the *ss!
I will say this, I am proud to be “keeping it real” in my facebook updates. I posted some pics of a recent trip to see the Radio City show and openly admitted there was no family photo because we were all too cranky and had no patience after having been in the same house together for 3 days straight over Thanksgiving weekend. 😉
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