It all started when my son was about 18 months-old. He was playing with a Nerf ball with my husband in the family room. Within moments of playing with the ball my son’s face began to swell and he had hives along his mouth and cheeks. Especially as first time parents, my husband and I were stricken with sheer panic because we had no idea what was happening to our son.
We rushed him to the doctor and after a blood test confirmed it, we found out our son had a severe allergy to nuts – every kind of nut. While hearing this news we were still really confused with the diagnosis because our son never ingested a nut.
We retraced our steps from that day and realized my husband was eating peanuts prior to playing with my son and holding that ball. So the oil from the peanuts (perhaps found its way onto the front of his shirt) and the residue on his hands (from touching the peanuts and then touching the ball – and then the ball touching my son’s face) was all it took. I can’t even imagine what would have happened if my son actually ate a peanut that day.
We weren’t equipped with Benadryl.
We didn’t have an Epi-Pen.
We had no idea this whole food allergy world existed until it reached our home which is why I wanted to publish this post.
I know there are many families out there that don’t truly understand the size and scope of this allergy. We are not talking about the kind of allergy that shows up as an irritating runny nose or a cough that lingers for weeks and doesn’t seem to go away.
We are talking about the kind of allergy that is the difference between LIFE and DEATH.
I know we don’t live in a bubble and I can’t protect my child from every aspect of this environment. But I am in total control of our reaction to what happens in this space and it is my job as a mother to be an advocate for my child.
I didn’t tell you about the time I witnessed my own son’s lip and face blowing up because a friend’s dog licked him (we later found out the dog food that the dog ate that morning contained traces of nuts).
I didn’t tell you about the time we were in Disney World about to watch a show when a boy who happened to sit down next to my son whipped out some peanut butter crackers. This forced us to immediately get up and move our seats and as we were packing up our things THOSE parents mumbled under their breath that we “over-reacted.” Maybe we should have continued to sit next to them and then they could have watched in horror as our son went into ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK.
I actually have shared the time my son put his lips to a Blue Bunny Ice-Cream cone and the time he mysteriously broke out in hives at Rockefeller Center. But somehow, it’s still hard for me to come up with the right words to explain to those that don’t deal with this daily how serious this allergy truly is.
Yes, I was THAT mom on the second day of school calling the Principal and requesting another reminder that we are now a nut-free school. A nut-free school means that you don’t send your child in with a peanut butter sandwich.
I actually liked it better last year when the school was nut-friendly because everyone was extremely cognizant of children who suffer from this allergy. Teachers diligently made sure children washed their hands after every meal and my son sat with other “allergy kids” at a completely separate table. Since food containing nuts were being allowed in school, this actually gave me peace of mind that teachers, parents and administrators were on top of the situation at every waking moment because they had to be. However, now that we are a nut-free school there is a sense of complacency and it makes me worry because teachers and administrators are assuming that parents are following this nut-free rule but the peanut butter sandwiches keep rolling in.
I know I can’t expect every parent to be as diligent as we are since other parents are not obsessing over labels like we have to but I know damn well if it was YOUR kid, you would want ME to think twice before sending my kid in with a peanut butter sandwich.
So you think I obsess over food labels and I continue to be THAT mom?
You’re damn right I am.
If there’s anything you take away from this post, let it be this; please have a little more compassion, empathy and understanding for moms like me, moms who are just trying to ensure that their child is safe. If it was YOUR child, you would be doing the EXACT same thing.
So the next time you see me on the ball field, in your child’s classroom or in the parking lot at school, cut me some slack. I’m just doing the best I can as a mother to protect my child who suffers from a life threatening allergy – because it’s a matter of LIFE and DEATH. Period.
The first time I gave my daughter peanut butter, I was beside myself with worry. I literally dialed 911 on my phone and held it in my hand so all I would have to do was press “Call” if she had a reaction. She didn’t, and has not displayed allergies to anything so far. But I can completely understand where you are coming from. And I’ll admit I rarely give it a second thought. PB sandwiches are easy to take along, so I often do. I was mortified recently when one of SB’s friends was allergic. His mom said it was fine. He can be around it, just can’t eat it. We sat them at separate ends of the table. But in the case with your child, that would not have been OK. I have tried to be more cognizant since…
Amazing story. If I would have been the mother of the kid who brought out the peanut butter crackers, I would have told you guys to sit back down and I would move my kid to the other side so you wouldn’t HAVE to move.
My child does not have an allergy, my child is very healthy really. But I would NEVER want to cause harm to another child and I know that it can be a severe thing.
I applaud you for being THAT mom who seems over the top, but if you weren’t THAT mom, you wouldn’t have your amazing son sleeping in the next room.
Way to go girlfriend, keep it up. And if anyone wants to take you on because you are THAT mom, just know there is a whole community that will stand up and take them down for you….BECAUSE you are THAT mom.
My kids don’t have allergies. Well, Zoe has some MILD allergies, but nothing on the level of a nut allergy. But I’m still shocked when I hear other mothers complaining about how they can’t send a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to school because there are kids with nut allergies there. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had to tell MOTHERS that this kind of allergy is severe–it only takes a few sniffs to make a kid REALLY sick. And still they don’t get it. They huff and puff about how their kid ONLY eats peanut butter and jelly. My response is always the same–
“YOUR kid won’t die from eating bologna or ham. THESE kids could die from getting your kid’s peanut butter on them.”
That usually shuts them up.
–Sara, your non-allergic-kid-having-mother-in-arms
I’m kind of amazed people send peanut butter to school… we aren’t nut free and I know kids with allergies do sit at a separate table… but I still don’t send peanut products to school. I’d feel so horrible if an accident happened as a result.
Jack doesn’t have food allergies that we know of. I actually didn’t know that nut allergies could be deadly until a friend told me her husband and I think her son has the same reactions as your son.
We were having a cookie exchange and she was sure to ask everyone if there recipes had any nuts in any form. She explained why and I was very surprised.
I also applaud you. If you aren’t THAT Mom, then who is going to protect your kid?
Great post from the side not heard as often
I have a peanut allergy child in my class this year and the mom did not tell the school until about a week in. I nearly freaked out because we are a nut friendly school and I had been under the impression that I had NO nut allergies in my class! I was shocked that the mom was that lax about it, I wouldn’t be! After that I asked that all parents in the class refrain from packing pb because we eat lunch in our classroom and its too small to really do a peanut free table like they do in the cafeteria. I had multiple parents complain to me about it. I was like um… seriously? They wanted me to think of other easy ideas. Obviously teacher = meal planner. I suggested sunflower butter which is safe for my allergic kiddo. People sometimes amaze me. Sometimes in good ways and sometimes in bad ways.
Hey,
this post has been a fabulous eye-opener. I usually make fun of overprotective hovering moms/products/laws and even have a running gag about “ostriches” (which you will probably not find funny) but I think you are perfectly justified in being THAT mom, and I am thankful for a chance to see things from your perspective. I now know I will NOT mock nut prevention as an “ostrich” issue. Ever.
Would you consider letting me link to this article when I get around to the topic of nut allergies? Please email me if you want to talk about it!
M
How do I tell you this without sounding jaded, which, after 16 years of having 3 children with food allergies, I have become.
Some people just don’t care.
I have had people yell at me that now they don’t know what to pack their kids for lunch. I have people email me that I should keep my kids at home.
I have had people call the principal at my son’s high school and ask that my son eat lunch in the nurses’s room because “sick kids that can die” don’t belong with other kids.
It’s up to us. My kids all have Epi pens when they are allowed. In the meantime, the vigilance is on them.
It’s the main reason we homeschool till they ‘re old enough to realize what to do.
And , yes, I’m lucky I found a job at night so I can be home during the day.
I realize not all people can do this, and the nut allergy is the main reason I quit my job to stay home with our first child: the nut allergy made me into a SAHM.
It’s hard.
And when they start dating, you have to teach them to NEVER kiss someone until they have made sure, and asked 1000 times “did you have peanuts today?”
It’s a burden, I know it is, and as they get older, it’s a burden to them.
I tell them, the burden falls on them. People don’t know how to read labels, they don’t understand that peanut is deadly.
It doesn’t affect them, so they’re not so in tune.
If it weren’t for how I’ve had to become vigilant with peanut, I wonder if I’d be as considerate as I’ve become with those allergic to wheat, etc.
I have become who I am because of the food allergy.
Others haven’t seen what I’ve seen: others haven’t had their heart pound so hard they can’t hear anything else in ERs. Others haven’t prayed with their lips moving while the Dr. had to administer not just one Epi pen, but two, to stop a reaction.
We are who we are because of this.
Others? How could they possibly know where we’re coming from.
As I’ve said, after 16 years and 3 boys with peanut allergy: I see how some people will never care, never believe.
Not even on my husband’s side of the family. Which is another story.
Elizabeth makes an interesting point above, there are so many DEGREES of allergic reaction to nuts that parents of non allergic kids might THINK they know what to do and not do, but as she points out what is a reasonable and appropriate precaution to take with one child may be completely inadequate with another. So obviously YOU MUST as the parent be the one advocating for your child, or else how will the rest of us, being parents of non reactive children, know where the safety lines need to be?
I also liked your point that last year when the school allowed peanut butter (and presumably other nut products) that you felt better because the educators and staff were hyper vigilant and now they seem to rely completely on the parents of NON allergic children to keep the other students safe by adhering to the policy. (This? Seems kind of… stupid.)
Piper’s daycare is nut free and it hasn’t been an issue yet because her food is all provided so far, so I hadn’t had to deal with it until recently. I asked what I could bring for a small class birthday celebration later this month and until I specifically mentioned peanuts the teachers said I could bring anything. But I know it’s a nut free school… and I know that one of her classmates brings all her food with her and has gluten issues among other things, so I was expecting a list of no nos.
Again, seems they might be more aware if they knew at any moment anything given could contain a nut trace and become a life threatening problem. I felt like they were taking for granted that I knew I couldn’t bring nut products, and I do, but I personally feel I’m more tuned into that than a lot of parents in that environment not because of a nut allergy but because of my husband’s dietary restrictions and being on alert for my daughter to display early symptoms of Crohns.
all so true-my neice has a severe peanut allergy so I am aware of all this and how dangerous it really is-I see what you are talking about in our school though-parents who truly don’t understand how dangerous a peanut allergy is and are put out because they have to be careful with what food they send in or can’t send in a snack to the class-we have a peanut free table and I agree with you, I’d rather that if it were my child with the allergy.
When I was in the ER this past summer with my 8-yr-old, luckily for us only his second visit because of a severe peanut allergy, once things were stable, I was tempted to take a picture of his body just to carry around with me to show the parent who considers me to be a worrywart.
His red, swollen body. His eyes shut.
You’re so right. I have no words to make another parent understand the terror that one shell can bring.
Maybe a stray bullet laying around? For some of the kiddos with severe food allergy, there’s not much of a difference.
Hugs to you.
I am that mom too. My eldest daughter has severe chronic excercise and environmentally induced asthma as well as allergies to dairy, dogs, cats, pollen, mold, dust. etc…
If you’ve never had to call 911 because your child isn’t breathing then don’t judge me on the decisions I make and the precautions I take.
My oldest daughter also has a peanut allergy (don’t know about other nuts because now I’m too scared to give them to her) and it was the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced. I now have two epi-pens – One in my purse and one in our carry-along diaper bag/backpack thing. She only took one bite of a peanut butter cookie (and didn’t even swallow it) before her face blew up like a balloon. Thank GOD that Benadryl helped her because I was in a state of panic.
I applaud you for being that mom and I feel blessed that my child is now old enough to tell people that she is allergic to peanuts. She knows that she cannot have peanuts or peanut butter and it’s sometimes used against us (“I can’t try that new food, Mom, because it might have peanuts in it.”). I’m lucky she does this because there are so many people at our daycare who send their kids to school with peanut butter junk and they even serve peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at lunch (peanut kids get jelly sandwiches).
You should have seen her poor little bucket after Halloween. I had to take almost 1/2 of her candy because it was peanut butter cups and baby ruths and the sort. People have GOT to stop handing out so much peanut stuff!
Absolutely fabulous post – you know this is a topic that is VERY close to my heart, too. Like your son, my son can’t eat nuts. Or any dairy. Or eggs. He is anaphylatic to ALL of them. It sucks and I am totally that mom. I am still working on my post, I’ll let you know when it’s up.
I completely understand you!!! I developed allergies in my late teens for “weird” things like soy beans, kiwi and peaches. I sometimes have to be THAT person to tell people to stay away from me with their products that contain any of these things. Sometimes people look at me funny and I have to tell them “well if this comes near me, I’ll swell up and if I am not rushed to a hospital I’ll die, want that on your conscience?” Which may sound horrible but necessary.
I’ve also had to tell guys on dates that if they eat stuff with these ingredients they can’t kiss me. Thankfully they always take my word for it.
I worked in a kindergarten and on of the kids I took care of during meals had severe fish, milk, penut allergies so I had to be super careful. I had recently discovered my allergies so it was kinda weird to be allergic to the milk that kid had to drink. But it all worked out and we both survived. I could understand the danger these products posed to her.
I’ve had to tell flatmates that if they are bringing in these foods they have to have them really well packed and contained and away from my food. I’ve also had to tell a cafeteria at work that they had to label their food better after I almost got rushed to a hospital after eating something that had either peach or kiwi in it. There were NO LABELS! But thankfully they did.
Keep on being that mom! For your kid and for people like me!
I am THAT “room-mom” with those issues. We have 4 kids in my sons class with nut allergies. My son is allergic to oranges, grapefruits, etc. Do you know how many shampoos soaps and cleaners have orange extracts in them? It is so scary! I thought my son had caught some tropical unheard of measles when he broke out into golfball-size shells the “first” time! I go up to the school to have lunch with him as often as possible to be as vigilant as possible. I am constantly putting reminders in notes in the kids backpacks and in emails.
Be THAT mom, sister! Your child is what is important! Not the views or feelings of the unaffected kids parents! Tell them to buy a damned cookbook!
I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to write this post. I find that with more kids presenting with nut allergies, their friends are the ones who are extremely cognizant of what foods they are allowed to bring into contact with one another.
While my DD does not have such allergies – I do appreciate it when a mom will take the time to call me and let me know the scoop – so I can prepare accordingly.
You go on and continue to be ‘THAT MOM’ because it’s your job to protect your kid. I can’t believe that people would be that insensitive. Your right, if it were their kid they would expect the same from you. How could someone send peanut products to school knowing what could happen? I would feel terrible if someone had an allergic reaction over something I sent in.
We do not have a nut allergy in our house but my husband is allergic to mayo. If he eats it (no matter how small the amount) he goes into anaphylactic shock and has to have an epi and go to the emergency room. This means any time we go out to eat we have to tell the waiter how important what ever he is eating is not in any way shape or form touching mayo. It has resulted in many cold meals waiting on his food to be remade and a few trips to the emergency room because no one knew that a certain item on the menu had mayo in it. I also have become the taste tester of all food.
This has made me very understanding of people with food allergies and I have turned into “that wife”. I would rather be the over bearing mom than wife trust me.
I can’t even imagine how hard it must be for people with a nut allergy. I would die with out peanut butter some days.
I struggle with this daily. It’s hard to relate until you’ve had your child in your arms, barely able to move air in and out, struggling not to pass out while you wait for the ambulance to arrive for what seems like hours. So many people fail to realize that it is not only an ingestion allergy, but in severe cases, a contact allergy as well. I realize that other parents don’t read labels as religiously as I do, making sure that their groceries not only do not contain nuts, but are also not processed on equipment that could come in contact with them. HOWEVER, peanut butter sandwiches…come on, really? How much more blatant can you get?! God has given us an abundance of food choices on this earth…surely your child can go without peanut butter or peanut products for just one meal per day!
Oh my gosh, how scary!!!! My son’s school is peanut-free with big PEANUT-FREE ZONE signs everywhere. The school also sends out a newletter at the start of the school year explaining peanut allergies. Shame on parents who neglect the seriousness of this issue!
Great post! My son also has nut allergies so I fully understand what you are dealing with. Unfortunately the only way to keep your son safe is by being THAT mom. I would much rather be THAT mom then the mom who doesn’t take the needs of other children into consideration. Be proud of the mom you are and keep up the excellent work! Thank you for sharing your story!
Thank you for opening my eyes. I did not have a clue of how severe a nut allergy could be. I know it is ignorant, but I really thought it only had to do with consumption, I did not realize mere contact could have such serious effects. I will definitely be more aware and vigilant now whenever necessary.
When my daughter was in kindergarten, it was a nut-free classroom. I have to admit, it was very hard for us since she would only eat peanut butter sandwiches, and if she didn’t eat enough she would have low blood sugar episodes. We tried to sneak the soy nut butter sandwiches (the alternative we were told), but she would have none of it. Fortunately, she became a fan of tuna sandwiches!
I’m fortunate that we don’t have allergies to worry about, at this point. We have other issues of course, but that said, as an “allergy-free” family, it’s not the first thing we think of – so if a family suddenly upped and moved their seats I also wouldn’t think it was allergy related. However, it would have been beneficial to know that it was because of allergies because it would have been a memorable personal lesson and made me think twice about ever having my kids eat nut-foods in public like that.
My daughter has her own issues that are top of mind for me, but wouldn’t be for others.
I’m a rule-follower, so if no nuts allowed then no nuts we will be. Your post gave me a good perspective from the “other side”.
Thank you!
My {severe peanut and egg} allergic oldest son started Kindergarten this year and I’m “that” mom too. At orientation when the teacher said they had a kid with allergies I saw the other moms whisper and look around, two rolled their eyes, you know what I say to that. …. its my kid that has to sit at a separate lunch table away from his class by himself, its my kid that never gets a cupcake because idiot parents just bring them in willy nilly without any advance warning so I can’t send on in, and its my kid who could be killed by a damn pbj. How would they feel?
We’re just asking that you think about what your sending in, just think about it as a common courtesy, not as the life or death manner that us mom’s as “that” mom has to think of it as.
Sometimes I can’t help but think that if it were a PC thing like the risk of offending a kid about a religious holiday or something like that you wouldn’t see the slip ups, but thats just my ramble….
i am so glad that you wrote this. i can’t imagine that it was easy to write, but it’s so, so important in all sorts of ways. i was a classroom teacher when people were just learning more about the severity of nut allergies. the little boy who had them was known as “the peanut boy” throughout *all* of elementary school. today it seems so commonplace. my daughter knows exactly whose allergic to what in her classroom. but you’re absolutely right- there can be a dangerous complacency with familiarity. thanks for speaking up- bravely- and i’m so glad that you’re THAT mom!
I am now an adult that is alive and well because of a vigilant mom like you. I developed a severe nut allergy along with a few other allergies when I was 18 months old.
When I met my husband I explained my nut allergy and he understood. Soon after we moved in together he ate a chocolate bar and came home and gave me a kiss on the cheeck. Within a few minutes he could see the outline of where he kissed me because the chocolate bar he ate was full of nuts and he forgot about it. I quickly took benadryl and was fine. That moment has been etched in his memory and he is often the first one to ask if something contains nuts or reminds me to check. I am thankful that he is hyper aware of my allergies
I also work with children and have had to advocate and be protective of children with allergies. It is interesting when I tell a parent about my allergy they are instantly reasured that I understand and will do my best to ensure their child is safe.
Now that I have a son of my own I am really worried that he too many develop serious allergies. We will be very cautious when it comes time to introduce him to new foods.
Thank you for writing this blog post and drawing more attention to this issue that many don’t seem to understand or care about.
You’re doing a fantastic job advocating for your child, it is not an easy thing to do. When I sent lunches or snacks to school for my children, I always read labels religiously, and even if it said, “May Contain traces of nuts”, I would not send that item. I could not even imagine the guilt, if something I had sent caused a child to have reaction. My friend in high school had severe nut allergies, and we had to rush her to ER on graduation day after she had a bite of homemade bread that had nuts in it. Very Scary!
Very scary. I’m a little more relaxed because one of my twins has only a level 2 peanut allergy, but I still have horrible visions of the worst possible reaction. She’ll likely outgrow it, but for those who won’t, keep up the diligence. From what you all are saying, no one else is doing it! Great post.
I appreciate your passion and honesty in this post. Even though I’ve never had to deal with a severe allergy with my son, I do believe it’s a serious issue and it’s sad to me that people are not more understanding. We love PB in my family and I was so happy when my son didn’t display any allergic symptoms upon trying it. But there’s always the possibility of our future child having a reaction. Who knows? I really feel for you and your family having to deal with not only the life-threatening allergies affecting your son but the other parents who show no compassion.
I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. My sister in law does and it is a NIGHTMARE. You are so right too…my kids eat peanut butter everyday and I have to admit that I get annoyed if I can’t bring their lunch somewhere b/c it is nut-free. But you are SO RIGHT- I would do the EXACT same thing. Kudos to you for sticking up for what you NEED for your child’t safety.
I totally understand where you’re coming from and I am THAT mom to because Moo has an allery to nuts and a few other foods. My mom is constantly getting upset and annoyed when I tell her not to give Moo certain things, but at the end of the day I AM her mother and I am responsible for her well being. When people come to my house they find out that we’re very healthy here and don’t have junk food stashes simply because most of those foods have either peanut oils or products that are bad for her skin allergies.
I’d rather be THAT mom any day of the week than let my child be senselessly put in harms way when it’s something I can prevent!!
I’m so sorry you have to deal with that! It’s awful to have a child with a peanut and/or tree nut allergy, but when they’re hyper sensitive like that, it’s REALLY bad! My daughter has tree nut allergies (specifically cashew and walnut). She can have an anaphylactic reaction if she eats cashews, but she really has to have a direct exposure to have a reaction. I really feel bad for people who can have a reaction from an airborne exposure. It’s hard to control the environment around you enough.
You wrote an excellent post. I hope it helps people to understand the seriousness of some kids’ allergies!
I loved this post! My little girl is severly allergic to nuts. Last week I was leaving her at the child care center of a friend’s church, I was explaining to the child care taker how to use her epi pen she said, ” I am not comfortable with that type of stuff, I will just take the time to come find you.” everyone was so irritated that I wouldn’t leave her. I am sorry, my child would be dead by the time you could find me and get me back to her. People don’t understand at all. It makes me feel naseous at the thought of her ever going to school…
It’s almost impossible to comprehend that something so natural as nuts can have such a huge impact on a life. That something which is so common in our day to day life and products we use can produce such a severe reaction.
As a Brownie leader I’m also entirely paranoid about these kind of allergies. There’s obviously peanut, but recently we’ve also had orange and tomato recently. At least with peanuts and other nuts they are often pointed out on the packages so planning food for a weekend away nut-free is manageable – however there’s tomato and orange in so many foods and they’re not always obviously marked. In this case we just ban the kids from bringing any food or drink with them and provide everything ourselves – even sweets for the midnight feast! Because if one girl has been eating an orange flavoured sweet and then helps to set the table that’s enough to produce the reaction.
It’s such a responsibiltiy to take on the food planning and preparation when you have other people’s kids for the weekend. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have to be aware of this all the time.
Anaphalaxis is really scary, it’s such a quick and severe reaction. Anyone who has to experience or see how severe it is only once will have a much better understanding of why it’s so important to be vigilant and to be ‘that mother’.
I hope scientists reach a better understanding of how the body reacts and how to prevent these reactions, soon. Thank god we have epi-pens and ana-pens, hopefully we’ll have something to prevent anaphylaxis soon too.
Have a lovely, nut free day,
Jade
I really feel for you. I have no idea what must run through your mind at any given moment or during any given experience. Especially a new one like a field trip or a family outing to a new place. I do hope that people start to “get it” because it’s horrible to feel out of place, but even worse when people make you feel that way.
I flew last month and was wondering about something. They served peanuts on our flight. I know that you can request a nut-free flight, but won’t the residual oils/smells/whatever be there from the previous flight? I’m just wondering how that is handled.
Hang in there…you definitely HAVE to be that parent.
I am so sorry you have to deal with this! My friend’s daughter has a severe peanut allergy so I am aware when we are around her. Just yesterday we went to a birthday party and a little boy asked “Does the cake have peanuts in it?” He got up and moved across the room by himself and just sat there. My hubby and I looked at each other, my heart broke for him BUT I think it was remarkable that he knew enough to do this. As a parent, you learn it doesn’t matter what others think about you….you have to do what is best for your children and family.
This is a very powerful post. Thank you for the education.
We have two children in our playgroup that have peanut allergies. We try to make sure that all the children bring peanut free lunches and the snacks for the moms are peanut free.
It would be hard to control at a park or other public place. I don’t envy your challenge.
I know exactly how you feel.
We are so lucky that Buddy’s food (including tree nuts and peanuts and sesame seeds) allergies are more by ingestion than by contact. Our school is not peanut free, but Buddy sits at a peanut free table.
But with the all the bake sales as fundraisers and birthdays going on, I am a nervous wreck most of the time.
It’s unfortunate, but true that unless you are faced head on with something like this, most people just don’t “get it.”
People can be so ignorant. Although my daughter doesn’t have this kind of allergy we have some friends with a son who does. It is pretty scary. I am glad you aren’t worried about what other people think. It’s the life of YOUR son that matters!
Oh, I get it. Be proud that you are “that kind of mom”! It’s serious.
Yes yes yes yes! It blows my mind away how ignorant and ridiculous people can be about allergies. My daughter used to go to an “nut free” school. I just made sure to buy her sunflower seed butter instead of peanut butter. It’s more expensive but it’s SO GOOOOOD!
That said, I had to write in and explain to the staff that no, that is NOT peanut butter, it’s sunflower butter. I ended up having to send the container in so that they’d calm down.
I am one of those moms – the ones that respect the need for strict food safety rules and rule enforcement, without being directly in need of them.
I am baking with my daughter’s preschool class this week, and I was shocked, absolutely shocked that when I asked what I can and cannot use as ingredients, they came back and said that in addition to something “regular” we had to also make something vegan.
No reminder of the fact that the school is nut free! I know it’s nut free, and I don’t use nuts in my baking – but seriously, not having a steadfast reminder/statement???
Nuts are a staple in my personal diet, in the form of trail mixes and snacks. But, my kids’ exposure to nuts has been very gradual and keenly observed.
Heather, the world is better because there are moms like you in the world – those who protect and nurture their children, by whatever means necessary!
(so sad, my rss is broken, I have some cool “last posts” I wish I could share)
WOW that is no fun. I don’t blame you for being “THAT” mom! I would be too!!!
Good for you! You should be THAT mom, that mom is the mom who is protecting her child. I don’t think people who do not have children with allergies (or allergies themselves) can ever fully understand.
Thank You! I for one, was not ignorant, but rather uninformed on this issue. I’m a first time mom, my child isn’t even a year old yet (obviously not in school), and none of our friends or family has had this issue. While I have been aware of such allergies, I wasn’t aware of the severity or sensitivity. Your post will stick with me as we venture out on playdates or become more involved in activities with other kids.
Heather, this is a fabulous, important post. I’m so glad you wrote it and hope many, many people read it. And absorb your words.
You have to do what you have to do to protect your kids!
My kids don’t have any food allergies, but we all have our own demons…ones that no one understands unless it is their child who has to face it.
I would think it would be so hard for a school to say they are nut free. From the sounds of your sons reaction to nuts, anything that contains nuts or could contain nuts, if in contact with your son, would be dangerous.
How do they handle snack products. Gosh, everything has that warning that it “May contain nuts.” Almost as a covering their….
I can’t imagine what you have to go through daily to ensure safety. Be that mom, we are our kids advocates, so we do what we have to do:)