Since Saturday my life has turned upside down. I’m not referring to a slight schedule change or holiday addition to the typical daily routine. I am talking about the kind of change that interrupts your sleep, steals your brain power and completely shakes your sanity to the core.
My 2 year-old daughter climbed out of her crib recently so if you’ve seen my Twitter stream lately, I can barely speak of anything else.
It’s killing me.
I am so not ready for this transition.
It was unexpected and unwanted.
But, I have no choice. I am living it. It came down to a matter of safety for my firecracker monkey of a daughter who scaled the sides of her crib each and every time. My husband and I were left with no other alternative but to immediately purchase a toddler bed when we realized the seriousness of the situation. Little did I know the real drama that would soon follow…
Part of me is still living in oblivion because my son never tried this crap. He had his moments at this age for sure (and did some silly things to boot) but he never tried to climb out of the crib and succeed. In fact as parents, we chose when to transition him to the big boy bed.
It was on our terms.
It was when WE felt we were ready and he would be ready.
We made the transition together.
This time, I was blindsided. I was not ready for this change, nor was it warranted and I am still reeling from the experience.
Case in point, my daughter used to nap like clockwork. I had a minimum of two hours of glorious time every afternoon. As of now, the nap is gone. After putting her back in her bed 139 times this afternoon over a span of 1 hour and 40 minutes (just to end up watching in sheer frustration as she still did not sleep), I think that constitutes as a total toddler bed fail.
My day has suddenly gotten so much longer I am praying to the toddler bed gods that she will adjust to this new transition and give me some time to myself.
If anything, for the sake of my sanity.
So any Theta Mom who is even remotely thinking of transitioning her child to a toddler bed? Do me a favor and REALLY think about it before you make the move.
You can thank me later.
We were in a similar situation. My oldest was never a climber and we made the transition to a big girl bed on our term as parents. My son? The exact opposite. Except he would try to climb in instead of out. When he did try to climb out he would get stuck. So we were forced to do the toddler bed. We were also forced to return him to bed a million times every day. And the bed rails? Don’t bother. They’re a waste of time.
I wish I had some advice, but at least you know you’re not alone in this. Good luck!
Oh dear. I hear ya. But it will get better! It’s important when your in the midst of a challenge like this that you realize it is just temporary.
My suggestion would be to not give up on the naps. Just keep persisting and hopefully she’ll catch on sooner or later.
Oh no! I will definately want to read future blogs about your situation as I have not yet reached the toddler bed age! I hope it gets better for you soon!
Wait, I missed something, why is the change of bed affecting her sleep? Does she get down from the toddler bed? When my three year old switched beds (also not my choice) I started putting him to sleep in my arms… Not ideal, but it only takes him 20minutes and then I have two hours of uninterrupted bliss…. to run around after the one year old who is still on a different nap schedule. (but that’s neither here nor there). Good luck!
It’s the change of the crib to the bed. She does not stay in the bed and it’s SO frustrating!
I am sending sympathy your way! Sounds miserable. Hope tomorrow is a better day!
Have you thought about getting a crib tent and going back to the crib? That being said, my twins are happily sleeping in cribs, but I know several people that the tents have worked for.
Other than that, I also know people who cleared the room of anything too fun/dangerous, and locked the door until they fell asleep. It’s only temporary!
Girl, this child would be swinging from that tent! 😉 Yes, I have since cleared the room from mostly anything that would be a safety issue and we have a gate in the doorway so she can’t fall down the stairs. But she’ll probably be climbing that next!!
Yup, yup I remember those days and they were complete HELL.
Is there hope for me Christina???
I believe there is girl. It just feels like an eternity in the moment. Hang in there.
aw, sorry it’s been so difficult to make the transition. my 2 year old is currently making every single part of our lives difficult… except the transition. she actually went into her toddler bed (which is actually her crib, transformed by removing the drop side rail, and scooting in the front. it also transitions into a full bed) with no problems. (((hugs))) hang in there mama!
Oh I can so relate times two. I wrote a similar miserable post months ago when my son started climbing out. Since then we started using a crib tent which restored nap time for a bit but now he has figured out how to get out of that too. I totally feel your pain and am sad because I’m just starting to get hooked on your blog and now you may be posting much less. For me, less sleep = less blogging.
Fear not Jessica…this blog is what helps me to keep my sanity. Writing a post about such a personal experience (such as this) and getting feedback from other moms like YOU who remind me that I am NOT alone and THAT is what keeps me going! Less sleep may make me a bit more cranky but it won’t stop me from blogging! 😉
I completely understand! My son was climbing out by 12 months! My daughter, on the other hand, would still be in the crib if we let her.
Good luck to you!
My children are 12 and 23 years old now, but neither of them slept much in a crib or otherwise. My daughter fell out of her crib head first while trying to climb out. She was only 10 months old. After that, we went to her mattress on the floor. Most of the time, she ended up in our bed. My son did sleep in a toddler bed for a while, but it was in our room. For naps, I always had to rock or nurse them to sleep and then sometimes I’d be able to put them down and they’d sleep for a little while. Somehow I made it through. This too shall pass.
Pretty much everyone I know is dealing with this right now since we all have babies who are the same age. Toddlers climbing out of cribs all over the place! I’ve caught the Babby with a leg over the side, but I managed to cool her off by saying “Oh, no, that’s not how to get out of a crib!” and I think she bought it. *crosses fingers*
We transitioned my 29mo to a big girl bed recently. It was necessary since she was climbing out on her own as well. I actually looked forward to it since it meant I had a very good opportunity to wean as well. “You are a BIG girl now, in a BIG girl bed. BIG girls don’t need to nurse” 😉
So far, it’s been good. She still wakes once or twice a night but thankfully she still naps most days.
I hope it gets better for you!
I didn’t read all the other comments but what worked for SO many of my friends was the crib tent. It’s large and high, high enough for your child to stand easily in the crib. My friend’s sold it to their kids as a cool new thing and they all LOVED their tents and it saved the parents. I highly recommend it. Good luck!
Ugh, the toddler bed transition. I dread that time.. Seriously people! Put it off as long as you can! I’ve never had a climber but I’ve had a few kiddos that got bumped out of the crib to give it up for a new sibling. The only thing worse than a kid in a toddler bed too soon is a kid that has never slept in a crib/toddler bed at all. My 2½yr old is apparently claustrophobic. He slept in a variety of carseat , bouncey seat & swing combos when he was little because of his severe reflux so when we finally tried the crib he would completely freak out anytime he’d roll & have his hand touch the side of the crib. I mean FREAK Out.. It’s a good thing I have a ginormous bed but he still takes up most of it. ugh.
Nightmare. Don’t give up on the naps. This will sound IMPOSSIBLE, but just keep walking her back to her room. Don’t engage, don’t say anything, don’t react. Just hold her hand and walk her back. Even if you do it for two hours a day until the nap returns. Same thing at night. It’s totally horrible, but you will get through it. Try to focus on the pre-sleep routine and, if you think she can understand, make a VERY simple sticker chart. Do you have a prize box? Head to the dollar rack at Target and make a prize box. If she stays in her bed, even if she’s awake, give her a small prize. Insane, I know, but staying on it will get you back to some version of normal sooner than later. I posted about this a few weeks ago: http://practicalparenting.blogspot.com/2010/11/sleep-tight-tips-for-ending-bedtime.html
And email me anytime, I will keep coming up with alternate strategies until we find what works! And blog your heart out each night!!!
Thank you so much for the encouragement. I was TOTAL Super Nanny today and I know she would have been proud. I was silent and I spoke not a word and placed her back in the bed 139 times. It was then time to go pick up my son from school, so although she didn’t nap, she did end up laying down toward the end.
I can’t give up and I won’t give up – but it’s taking every bit of patience left in me!! Thanks SO much for sharing here…THIS is what helps keep my sanity! 😉
My daughter stopped napping just before age 2. She climbed out of the crib, we switched to the toddler bed. Months later we put a full sized bed in the room because I was having to get in there with her until she fell asleep each night. It was a rough time. She didn’t sleep on her own again until she was old enough to be bribed.
I hope you figure things out quickly. Those hard headed children are a killer.
I am going through something similar now…Both of my girls (ages 2.5 and 4) are in big girl beds (twin size) and have been for quite some time (my youngest got hers in February for her birthday). They have both been great about it…until now. NOW, they think it’s okay to just get up whenever they please and wander into my room. When you figure out a solution to this, let me know! Good luck!
My children actually never slept in a crib. We co-slept until they were 1 yo and then moved them either to a toddler bed (my youngest in our room for privacy sakes as she shares a room with her older sister) or just a regular twin bed (my older two). And we never had a problem!!! I guess they were so young when we moved them that they never even thought about getting out of the bed.
So I am sorry I totally don’t have any advice.
The only thing I would do is set the parameters that she has to stay in her room. Don’t worry about “what she is doing”. I would just keep a baby monitor on for safety sakes and then let her work it out. She will probably still eventually sleep and their is a greater probability of sleep than if she is playing “games” with you all afternoon and you will still get your down time.
I can SO relate to this post. My older son NEVER tried to get out of his crib. Even when we put him in a bed he would call to us until we came and got him. And then his little brother came along… My younger son would climb out of his crib long before he was 2 and come into our room and giggle in my face at 4AM! I put him in a bed MUCH earlier because I was afraid he’d break his neck climbing out of the crib.
So sorry chickey! I’ve BEEN there!! I, too, have a firecracker monkey of a toddler that also moved on to a big boy bed far before we were prepared for. Shortly after transitioning to a bigger bed we moved to a new house which caused stirred up all kinds of grief when it came to staying put in his new bed AND new room….
If it provides you any hope at all, I found some tactics that worked for us, and my stinker was back on track in a matter of days!
I shared our success on my blog when we were going through it if you care to visit and take a peek:
http://www.wonderwomanwannabe.com/2010/10/toddler-sleep-solutions-how-i-taught-my.html
Heidi,
Thank you so much for sharing your comment here – looking forward to reading your experience! And THIS is why I love blogging so much – we are here to support one another!!
This is my most gigantic fear. My mother is pushing a toddler bed for my 18 month old and I’m thinking more along the lines of 3 or maybe 10. But my monkey needs only another inch or two before she figures out how to escape her crib. Here’s to slow growing.
Why can’t someone just create a deeper crib? I’ve seen those crib tents that go over the crib to keep them from climbing out, but it always reminds me of a caged zoo animal. How is she doing during night time sleep?
Melissa,
Knock on wood, once we put her in, she’s in for the night. But, she wakes now by 6 am roaring to go wheras she used to sleep in her crib until 8 am…I guess at least she’s sleeping at night, right?
Oh Heather I am so sorry!!!! I so know what you mean about making the decision together. I put Tyler in the pack n play for MONTHS because I knew Sadie wasn’t ready to give up the crib. And as much as I would like to move him to a big boy bed right at 2 in March, I am not going to. He is not climbing out and I know he will do exactly what your daughter is doing. Just a thougt- have you thought about using one of those crib tent things to go over the crib?
OR just stick to your guns. Even though the transition was smooth for my daughter, there was one night where she kept coming out. I Super Nannied her ass and just kept putting her back in. She eventually stopped.
Hang in there! I KNOW this is excrutiating!!!!
Rachel,
Yes, we thought about that crib tent thing but we figured it would ony be a matter of time before Houdini figured out how to get out of that, too. We knew she would need that bed at some point so we decided to just go straight for it…and, it sucks. I’m trying to stay strong, though!!
I promise you that persistence WILL pay off. You may feel like hell for the next few days while trying to get her used to staying in bed for naptime, but it will work & be worth it for BOTH of you.
Sugar Mama,
I SO hope you are right. I am in total Super Nanny mode because I will not let go of this nap!!!
Been there, done that! When my daughter was 2, she fell out of her crib. Being a late walker (at 19 months), she wasn’t coordinated enough to climb out! Yikes! We got her a bed pronto! She already wasn’t napping (hence, the climbing out of the crib). For us, having her not nap in the bed worked better. She knew she had to have her quiet time, and would enjoy chilling in bed, looking through books. She never fell asleep and napped though.
For us, the problem was more when she didn’t sleep at night (it’s not uncommon for kids with autism to not sleep much). Once, we couldn’t see her on the video monitor, so we went into her room. There she was, at 2:00 a.m. sitting on top of her diaper changing table, giving us the biggest grin in the world! It’s a good thing we checked on her! Yikes!
Good luck!
You have my sympathy. I have no advice as my older son was out of the crib at 18 months and wasn’t a good napper even when in the crib and my younger son never slept in a crib and was a good napper regardless of where you put him. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that the novelty wears off and she naps better soon. Any chance a new pillow or stuffie would help her stay in bed? Good luck!
I have a sneaking suspicion this will be us with our youngest. So far, so good, but his crib is like the final frontier. It’s the ONLY thing in the house he hasn’t attempted to scale like his own personal Everest.
Now our oldest? Like yours. I swear he would still be in that crib if we told him that’s where all 4 1/2 year olds sleep!
I didn’t read the other comments, so forgive me if this has alraedy been said, but the same thing happened to a friend of mine. Her son was scaling the crib like nothing and would NOT stay in a toddler bed. She went online and bought a mesh crib tent that would make it impossible for her son to get out of his crib. It saved her son from getting hurt and saved her sanity. She waited a year and then transitioned him into a bed, which went much smoother.
I’m a big proponent of waiting as long as I can, until the kids understand all that comes with being in a big kid bed. Granted, you didn’t have a choice with your daughter, but to your point above – wait as long as possible because there’s no going back!
Have you heard about the Good Nite Lite? It won’t help for naps, but can help keep her in bed all night long.
Oh my gosh. I so totally know about this. My girls both gave up naps before they were 2yo. It’s pure hell. My poor son is dealing with the fallout from this because with three kids, I cannot deal with him not having “naptime”. I honestly do not care if he sleeps, at 16mo old, I refuse to skip his “nap”. So yeah, he’s gone from 2.5hr naps every day to roughly 40min of sleeping BUT he stays in his crib, happily playing for the full two hours. Otherwise, I would LOOSE. MY. MIND.
His room is toddler-proof so I just shut the door and keep my ears peeled.
I hope she adjusts quickly and that you get some time to yourself. It unbelievable how utterly brain-dead kids can make you by the end of the day!
The upside of no naps is that bedtime comes so much earlier. So that’s cool. Unfortunately, it also means that the hour just prior to bedtime is meltdown central. Good luck!
Two things…
1) I am so sorry to hear this! (for you) It is not fun at all to deal with sleep issues, especially when they do a downward spiral quickly. I hope she figures it out quickly and goes back to her regular nap schedule very, very soon.
2) I am so sorry to hear this! (for me) Abbey has started climging in and out of her crib, and we need to convert her crib. I was already dreading it (she’s a terrible sleeper no matter what – no nap most days, wakes up numerous times a night), but this post reminds me of exactly WHY I am dreading it. Yikes.
I’m waiting for Jake to realize that he can climb out of his crib. He’ll be 2 in February. He’s already climbed the baby gate (which we had up for about a day and a half before taking it down since it wasn’t doing a thing to keep him out of the bathroom) so it’s just a matter of time. I’m not taking it down till he does climb out though… he naps great right now and I just know that once he’s got freedom to get out of bed, naps will go bye-bye.
I’m just glad he’s lasted longer than his sister… she stopped napping at around 1 and a half years old.
Good luck!
All my kids were easy to transition to the toddler bed form the crib. My 2 year old has been in his toddler bed since he was 18 months old. he started climbing out of his crib also so we had to put him in the toddler bed to make sure he did not fall and get hurt and he has slept fine since then. He occasionally he gets up in the middle of the night but he immediately climbs in bed with us and goes right back to sleep. I guess it also helps that he sleeps in our room.
Sorry to hear you’re having a rough time! Good luck with the toddler bed gods.
And wouldn’t it figure that it would be the girl and not the boy who would do this. Same thing happened in our family.
The day is long without the naps. I need the naps. I need TO nap just to make it through some time. Good luck girl.
Stop it, you’re scaring me!
I face this change soon, and is there really no hope for an ok transition?
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This sounds soo hard! We switched my son really early too (23 months) and the first week was pretty hard. But then it just clicked. Hang in there!
Oh sweetie I have non nappers and crib escapers all 3. I can already watch Violet, at 11 months, try to climb the rails. Both Sophia and Miles were in the big beds at around 18 months because the cribs were just dangerous with their monkey like personalities. Now I am just used to being super tired and wishing for naps every afternoon. Miles is the only 1 of the 3 who ever takes one. When he does, he simply passes out on the floor. So I have no advice except to start a quiet time (I do this every day – sometimes it works) and hope that the naps return.
xo
Brittany
Oh no! As soon as I started reading my stomach started to get upset. That is what happened with my first. At 16 months he climbed out and his room had hardwood floors. So we did the same thing and…
it was like I had a newborn all over again! Which seems to be what you’re going through. Maybe if she really gives up napping you can put her down earlier at night?
My second is already 2 and shows no interest in getting out. He loves his crib and will ist contently in there for a long time. My husband asked why he is still in a crib and I explained that whole newborn thing again. And since I am the one who will be getting up with him, I will choose when we upgrade to a toddler bed.
I think we can get in a whole ‘nother year!
Oh, I have a feeling we’re in for something like that as well. my little one keeps outsmarting me, and she’s just 20 months.
our playyard has much higher sides than the crib. Could you put her in a playyard for naptime?
best wishes
The days when my one-year-old has trouble napping are hellish. Those hours of freedom are more valuable than gold. Even though I still spend them trapped in my two bedroom apartment, they are what keep me from jumping out of my 12 story window.
I feel for you.
But if there is one thing I have learned about children, it is that they are in a constant state of change. This will pass, and then of course, you will be blogging about something else.
Oh, I remember those days!
Our daughter stopped taking a nap at 18 mos!! Whe had to get a “big girl bed” when she was just over a year because we needed the crib for the new baby. It was a hard transisiton!
Our son, learned early on to climb in and out of his crib very early…like too early for a toddler bed! When monkey boy was tired, he would grab his binky and in the best acrobatic move, be in the crib in seconds!
Oh Hugs Mama! That’s really hard, especially when it interferes with your sleep and quiet time. My kids gave up naps when they gave up their pacifiers. My son, though, was so good about his Big Boy Bed, for the longest time, he didn’t realize he could get out of it on his own and would sit in it and call for us. My daughter however, was switched into a toddler bed at her dad’s when we split…he didn’t tell me, so at 1:30 am one evening I woke up to a crying not-yet-two year old groggily telling me, “No kib, Mama, no kib. I a big girl!” The toddler bed I had for her…an hour away at my parents… um, yeah, thanks!
I have two words of advice for you: CRIB TENT. My little angel starting climbing out of her crib at 18 months. There was no reasoning with child #2. After ONE night of putting her back in the crib, we purchased the crib tent. Before I had a child that climbed out of the crib, I thought this was the most horriffic looking gadget and couldn’t believe parents would basically cage their kids in the crib. Then my angel starting climbing out and my opinion changed. We used the crib tent for 2 years. She was so used to the tent, that we had to take it with us when we went away. She used to ask for the tent to be zipped up. This was my saving grace.
We had to turn my son’s room into a crib of its own. First with a childproof door knob cover on the inside knob and then by stacking two gates on top of each other in the doorway. Otherwise, he would NEVER sleep. He started climbing out at 18 mo, so we had to do something!
Oh my goodness! We are dealing with the same thing! With my oldest we put her in a toddler bed really young (16 months) and she did super. We were having a new baby and didn’t want to buy a second crib. We had very, very few problems. So when our second hit 16 months (she’s 18 months now), we thought maybe she might be ready. Tried it once and said no way. Then…. And this is really sad…. We moved. And the moving company broke her crib. So we have been forced to switch. And it’s painful. Thankfully, my oldest is now sleeping with the youngest, which has helped. We moved their two twin mattresses to the floor and pushed them together for a roomy bed.
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We just went through the same thing with my son, he also jumped out of his crib when we were least expecting it. After weeks of him forgoing his nap to play with toys {which makes for one crabby toddler come dinner time} we moved all of his toys to a closet that we can lock. Now his room is pretty boring, there are no distractions during nap time and he’s back to his normal schedule. Good luck, I hope life returns to normal for you soon.