I was going through some photos recently and I stumbled upon this one. I can’t believe it was almost ten years ago that I earned a degree from graduate school. This photo was taken before I was married, owned a home or gave birth to my children.
Almost ten years ago.
That girl in the photo is quite different than the woman I am today. The core of who I am has remained the same but life experiences and various relationships have made me evolve as a person and ultimately, a mother. I guess I never realized how much marriage, a mortgage and motherhood would change my life.
If I could have a conversation and share ten things that I know now with the young woman staring back at me in this photograph, it would go something like this (in no particular order)…
1. Don’t take yourself too seriously or sweat the small stuff. There will be many moments on the road ahead that will require some serious thinking and decision making. Until then, now is the time to figure out what you really want out of life and just go for it.
2. Don’t get so caught up in looking so perfect. Appearances are only skin deep – and when you pop out that second kid anyway, you’ll be working overtime to fit back into those skinny jeans so don’t be so hard on yourself now. It only gets harder.
3. Learn to love your body. Laugh lines are evidence of a life well lived and stretch marks will be appreciated one day, for they will be reminders of the little blessings brought into this world.
4. Know who you are and what you value because these are the things that will get you through some real hard and trying times in your life. This will also help to keep you grounded as you venture out into the world.
5. Surround yourself with influential and positive people and don’t ever let anyone intimidate you. Forget the nonsense and the negativity and only invest your time in people who truly care about you and support you.
6. Love yourself. You can’t give love to anyone else if you don’t love yourself first.
7. Continue to do what makes YOU happy and don’t look back. Make good decisions and learn from your mistakes. Dust yourself off when you are down and get right back up to try again. Don’t ever give up on yourself or your ideals.
8. Make your own money. Follow your passion and pursue a career you truly enjoy to become financially independent.
9. Invest in a quality education – no matter what happens in your life (job loss, divorce, loss of home) your education is something that can never be taken away from you.
10. Don’t ever stop dreaming big dreams and love deeper than you ever thought possible. Embrace your loved ones and count your blessings – because life is too short not to.
I actually could go on and on with a list like this…if you saw a photo of your “younger” self, what is something you would say to that young person staring back at you?
LOVE this! Love the concept of doing this- I would love to steal this post idea but will totally credit/link to you!! Every single one of these things is AMAZING…like you!
xoxo
Thanks mama – you totally rock yourself!
I’d tell my younger self to wait another year or 2 before having kids. We just didn’t really get to enjoy any time as a married couple before our oldest came on the scene.
I love this too! There are definitely a few things I would tell myself back then. Thanks for sharing your post!!
I would love to write a similar post, but with a funny twist! I don’t even know what I’d say to myself 10 years ago, but it would probably have something to do with appreciating sleep, taking days to do absolutely nothing and not complain about being bored, and being grateful that I don’t know what hemorrhoids are yet.
A long time ago, I did a top ten list of how I knew I was a Theta Mom – and what you mentioned here was that kind of post – especially the sleep bit!
These are such words of wisdom! I hope that all the women who don’t have children read it because it’s so true!
10 years ago… well, I had kids then but there are still things that I’ve learned since then and many of them things I wish I had known!
Oh there would be so many things I would tell my younger self…mostly to enjoy life, don’t worry what other have to say about you, follow your passion even if you are unsure where it will take you….Also, I wish I would of traveled more before having kids
Its good to make lists … what the today version of me would like to tell the younger, unwrinkled, life stretching out before her version … oh boy …and having girls of my own, there are SO many things they hope they can just take their time on.
Life truly does flash by!
I think the “learn who you are” is something that often happens too late for people. I think the younger you are when you achieve that, the better decisions you make in life.
Great advice! There are definitely things I would tell my younger self.
How I wish that we really could give our younger selves some advice! Yours all sounds so practical and what would make a difference.
I would tell my younger self to have confidence. To believe in myself and not question my decisions or my worth. That after she learns to have confidence, life is so dramatically different.
Without a doubt – one of the main goals I have for my kids (especially my daughter) is to LOVE herself, BE herself and have total confidence in herself.
I would tell myself to stop trying to please others, and please myself instead. It’s taken me six years to realize that *my* graduate degree was a waste of time, because it’s in a field I didn’t enjoy and wasn’t passionate about. I’m finally leaving that field, but I’m doing so with unpaid student loans on a degree I don’t plan to use again. If I’d simply stood up for myself, and told my parents there was something better for me out there, I would have saved myself more than half a decade in “wasted career.”
Solid advice my friend. I guess I would consider myself lucky then, since I would not be able to be a WAHM right now without that graduate degree, and it just so happens that it’s career I enjoy. Thanks for the comment!
I would absolutely remind myself that what “they” think doesn’t really matter in the long run. My high school days could have been so much more than they were had I only stopped worrying about the “in crowd.”
First off I’d have to go back almost 20 years to get to the before. But I’d tell her a few things:
A) Stay in college. Get your degree now. It is so much easier to do without a child (or 4).
B) Choose the other guy you met that weekend.
C) If you ignore the advice given in B, know this — you will be fine. You will be strong and you will produce caring, loving responsible men, despite their “father” walking out of your lives.
D) Don’t ever drift away from God. He will help you with C.
I agree, college is MUCH easier without kids or a husband. I thought it was hard enough in graduate school with a full-time job, so I can’t even imagine how hard it would be to go back now that I have a fmaily of my own. Thanks so much for sharing your comment.
What a great list. These are things that I wish I had known and done when I was younger as well.
I recently wrote a post like this and it ended up being my most commented on post! Much of my advice was very similar to yours. It’s amazing how looking back can really help us to see what we’ve learned along the way.
Wonderful list Heather. I so wish we had the gift of perspective and experience during our younger years. I would probably tell myself not to worry so much and to just enjoy being young.
Lovely post
This is so good. There are so many things I wish I could say to myself back then. So many thing I wish I didn’t have to go through, but I know that is what made me the woman I am today. But then again there are things I would change… Samantha…
This was a great post. I think that I would tell myself at that age all those things.
Great list! I agree with every single item!
That’s a great list.
I’d tell myself to just have as much fun as possible. Life only gets harder and more serious as you get older. Save all the seriousness for later.
I would tell myself to go out more with friends. I was never a social butterfly, but it would have done me some good to venture out more and make some new friends.
I think all along the way we have to honor who we are in the moment. Ten years ago we were all in different situations in our lives and the decisions we made were valid based on what we knew at that time. But I know what you mean. Hindsight is always 20/20. And yes, never stop dreaming. A great piece of advice at any age. Thanks for posting this!
Great post… glad I caught Mary’s RT.
I too might have to steal this idea… man, there is ALOT I would tell the 18yr old me!! oh boy!
Thanks..
Heather, this an amazing list! I would probably tell my younger self to just have faith and to follow my instincts rather than doubting myself and to accept the mistakes I have made, learn from them, and move on.
Excellent, thank you for reminding us that we need to live life and not sweat the small things
Oh I love this post! And my favorite part: laugh lines!!! Those are the best! They mean you have FUN and enjoy life!
First of all, that is a beautiful picture.
Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could go back and tell our younger selves things? And wouldn’t it be even more amazing if our younger selves actually listened and took the advice to heart?
i’d have to think about this. i’m not too sure. probably stupid things like “don’t waste your time with that guy” or “don’t go there” or “try harder at this.”
What a great post! 9 and 10 are my favorites
Learn to love your body – I love that one. And I think I never really appreciated my body until after I had kids, you know? Great post!
What a great idea! I think I’d tell myself to not second guess myself so much. All of the things I was terrified of (getting married really young, having our first baby while in university) worked out fine and I was making the right choices. I never got to enjoy the decision making because I was never sure it was the right decision!
It will be ten years ago this December that I got my Bachelor’s! Time goes and goes. Since then I too have had many experiences that make me the person I am today. I am a very confident and happy person because of my experiences. I love all that you said because most of those are true and timeless. I really like the ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff’! That has been a huge lesson in my life to overcome even through ten years of marriage and three kids later!
Oh so many things. Like, when you have a choice between laughing and crying, laugh. Life is much easier that way.
I’m very much like you. I left a high-pressure government career to become a stay-at-home mom. The transition was much smoother than I expected, actually. But I know that someday I’m going to return to the workforce with gusto! If only myself circa 2000 could see me now!
This is such a great list! I still have some of these to work on.
Numbers 2, 5, and 6: definitely: save for your daughters.
They can rule the world if they stick to those 3…
excellent thoughts, thank you.
Great post Heather. Gosh, I think I would tell myself to chill out. I REALLY could have used the advice back then. I would have also told myself to slow down and enjoy this time in my life. I was in such a hurry to grow up and why? We have our whole lives to be grown up!
I’d say, keep up the good work!! But don’t worry so much… you’re going to be very happy and successful with a beautiful family.
That is a beautiful picture of you!
I love your list…all important life lessons!