I was recently thinking about a post I co-wrote a few months ago. Basically, the question was asked whether we are women or mothers first – and reflecting back on that initial question it got me thinking for a moment more about this blog.
Almost every single published post at Theta Mom has been in some way related to motherhood. Big surprise, huh? I know, quite a shock considering the title of this blog is called Theta MOM and motherhood actually is an integral part and focus of the overall mission {which, for the record, I am damn proud of}… but, sometimes I feel as though I am cutting myself too short. Not every post has to be about motherhood because there is more to me as a woman than just motherhood itself and THAT is part of redefining the role of motherhood, isn’t it?
I am more than a mother; I am a complete person and before I gave birth to two beautiful children, I was a vibrant woman.
I still am a vibrant woman.
I am also a wife, daughter, sister, teacher, friend, and the list goes on…
I still have my own dreams, wants, needs and goals without the word “mother” attached to them. I can still remember that little girl who dreamt about walking down the aisle to marry the boy of her dreams. Part of me has recollections of that teenager who experienced her very first date. Deep inside, I still remember that young, beautiful woman about to enter college and the same woman who began an amazing professional career.
That woman is still me and there are times I need to remind myself of her.
Between diaper changes, making lunches, doing the laundry and moving through the daily grind of motherhood, I need to awaken the notion that I am a whole woman with dreams of my own in addition to being a good mother.
I am more than a mother; I am a complete woman who happens to live a blessed life raising two beautiful children but that doesn’t have to mean that my own wants and needs as a woman have to end. It just means that life is more interesting as I navigate my way through this journey called motherhood.
Maybe it’s about time I began writing and reminding the world (as well as myself) that I am a woman and a mother – because sometimes, my life is far more complex and interesting than just another nightly serving of mac and cheese.
It is good for you and for your family when you nurture that woman side of yourself as well as the mother one.
You are a woman…and a pretty incredible one. That foundation also contributes to you being a great mom.
This was great: “…my life is far more complex and interesting than just another nightly serving of mac and cheese.”
Complex. That one word sums up life as a woman, with many roles and responsibilities.
Loved this post!
It is good to remember that side of you and nurture it now, or when your kids get to be 16 or so, you’ll look in the mirror and say ‘who AM i?’ I did a complete makeover when my kids were around that age. No offense to anyone, but I didn’t want to look like somebody’s mom, I wanted to look like a WOMAN. A confident woman my husband would be proud to have on his arm. And he LIKES it!
bernice
Yes, I think you said it perfectly…complex. I’m struggling right now trying to find that ever elusive balance between my duties as Mom and finding time to pursue my own interests and passions.
It’s really hard sometimes…guilt always creeps in. But, you are right we cannot deny that part of ourselves that really makes us complete. Thank you for a wonderful post and reminder
It’s hard to remember this. I feel like my day is consumed with my kids’ needs, and though they are of the utmost importance, the job *does* leave (some) time for me.
I’ve tried hard lately to read more, to see friends, to let them play on their own. Trying to get back to me, or to the ‘me’ I am at this point in my life…
Making sure I’m being the woman I want to be makes me a better mama I think!
I’ve been feeling that way too. Like I’m forgetting about the awesome woman I was. Its so easy to forget about yourself when you have to care for that little one.
Oh my gosh yes! I get trapped in my mom or wife or teacher bubble to the exclusion of the others. It is hard to remember that we are whole people, and not just fragments with responsibilities. Everytime I think I have it figured out, I realize that I have left something behind. One day, hopefully soon, I will remember to put all the puzzle pieces together at the same time- even if only for an instant. xo
It has been a while since i have commented/stopped by/visited my friend Theta Mom. sorry for my absence. This post however, is trully why I keep coming back. You never cease to amaze me with your writing. You also touch a soul point deep inside me and on your own quest through motherhood, engage me in life, and help keep me focused. Thank you. I promise to not let some many days pass between my stops again!
michelle
Michelle,
And let me tell you that it’s when I get a comment like this, I knew this journey would be so worth it – if any one of my posts truly resonates with another woman or mother, I’ve done my job. Thank you SO much for this comment. You made my day.
And thanks so much for reading – even if you don’t comment, I REALLY appreciate you coming back to read.
xo
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Being a mom is part of who I am, but it doesn’t define all of me. I’m trying to find that balance and to make time for my and the things I love (or used to love!) to do. Easier said than done, but hey, we’re all a work-in-progress right?