When I first began my blog I wrote a post about some of the fears I experienced once I became a mother. I made this revelation as I gave birth; the things I used to worry about growing up as a child myself could never pale in comparison to those I would feel as a mother.
I wrote that post almost exactly one year ago (to the date) and now that my children are a year older I notice my fears or worries continue to change. Yes, I still fear that my kids may choke on a hotdog or that they could potentially drown in a pool. I fear that they will feel unbearable pain if they fall and hurt themselves and the list goes on…
But as the new school year quickly draws near, I now have a new set of Theta Mom worries that are beginning to show their face.
My son has a severe nut allergy and I worry about how it will go at pre-school as he sits at the “allergy” table. Last year, he sat with one other child and it seemed to be fine (as he did not feel isolated or alone) but will this year go just as well? Will he have another successful year and will he mesh well with his new teacher?
My daughter on the other hand will be turning two and this will be her very first experience out of the home. She will be attending a toddler program two mornings a week and I do worry about this very first experience for her. Will she cry? Will she not care? Will she do well and work well with the teachers and the other kids?
As much as these worries and fears sometimes encompass my entire being, I try to settle in and focus on what I can do as a mother to ensure my kids feel good about these “new” experiences. It’s sort of like entering the unknown for all of us and these are the times no matter how you slice it can be a little scary.
As a little girl I used to worry about rocks getting stuck in my jelly shoes. At that time, that was my biggest concern in life…
Once again, somehow rocks in my jellies just don’t quite make the list anymore.
Do you worry about the new school year approaching? How do you settle your own fears and how does this translate to your kids?
I guess the good news is that we overcome these worries each year…and the bad news is that we have new ones each year. I worry about Principessa developing friendships, despite her bossy, stubborn personality. As a Kindergartner in a montessori classroom, she will be one of the big kids…and I have visions of her bullying the 3 year olds.
xo
I couldn’t help but smile when I read this post. Everytime my daughter (now 10) finishes a year of school…I think “phew! THAT wasn’t so bad! We BOTH survived!” Of course, that isn’t what I was thinking back in September…
I find each new school year brings its own set of challenges…from “how will I manage grade 5 math?” (never mind my daughter) to “please keep the girl drama to a minimum!”
I suppose each year helps us both mature and overcome those challenges…but hey…there will be days when I’d settle for a few rocks in my jellies anytime..!
Girl, a round of rocks in the jellies coming up!!
I used to worry a lot! Don’t get me wrong…. I still do! But my girls are older now (14, 10, 8) and I’ve been through it all! I trust that my kids are smart and will make good choices while at school and with their friends. Now, with my youngest who’s almost 7 months I tend to worry more only because he’s a baby and the internet tells you all sorts of bad things that can happen! I’m really glad I didn’t have the internet when the girls were younger!! I’d be a basket case!
Sometimes too much information is not good either – my kids are little, so the internet will be a big part of their life – not sure if that’s good or bad?
I AM worried about this school year. Last year, we were worried about whether Buddy was mature enough for Kindergarten…and about the food allergy thing too. The year actually went smoothly. This year, we worry that Buddy might be too advanced for kindergarten again, but I *think* it’s the right choice. And of course, I worry about the choice we have made.
Parenting is lifelong worrying.
I am definitely worried about the upcoming school year. My youngest starts Kindergarten this year. I’m almost positive that he will love it, but there is still an underlying fear. He told me the other day he is scared of school (he’s been home with me for the past 2 years) and that only adds to my worries.
He was recently diagnosed with a slight allergy. We were told it’s so slight that we don’t have to worry much, but he still seems to have a sensitivity to something. I wonder how this will effect him in school?
Evonne,
I was always so worried about this – my son sat at the “allergy” table and I was so afraid he would feel “different” or isolated from the others. I think it’s so common these days that the other kids really have a tolerance for it and inderstand – so last year it wasn’t an issue, but I still worry about this year!
Awww…I’m sure that they both will be ok. And it’s natural that you’d worry, especially since this will be your daughter’s first experience attending a toddler program. Overall, I think that their experiences will help them and prove beneficial.
I totally understand about the allergies. I fear that Moo will feel different when she starts school because she can’t have nuts, milk or green apples. So, I will be packing her lunch to make sure she doesn’t get into anything she’s not suppose to have. But I’m sure once you see them happy and making new friends your fears will be relieved.
I agree, which is why I am sending her to get used to someone other than me and to get the opportunity to play with other kids her age. But, still doesn’t settle my “fears” of how it will all go! 😉
Ah, how fear and parenthood go together. My fears are constantly evolving, but they are also stark reminders of how much I love my little creatures. Wonderful post.
Oh the joys of being a mom, sometimes I wonder if all this worry and stress is worth it, lol. (I know it is, by the way, just in my height of worry-mode, I wonder why I did this to myself) My only daughter starts junior high this year and I CANNOT begin to explain the worry I have associated with that.
Sometimes I ask myself that very same question! 😉
So right there with you … the worries fade and are replaced by new ones – now I fear the mean girls in 2nd grade and the way my daughter is learning that some things are valued that I wish weren’t … my son has a tree nut allergy too so I hear you on that one. Sending them – and you – smooth transitions. xox
You know what’s funny? While you’re worried about life-threatening allergies and separation anxiety and adaptation issues, your kids are probably worrying about…rocks in their shoes.
My son starts Kindergarten tomorrow. I worry because he’s young in his class. He’s so bright, but I’m guessing he’ll be the youngest boy in his class because of the tendency in my district to delay starting K for boys with birthdays past March 1. So there will likely be boys in his class 15 months older than he is. We’ve decided that if the year is horrible, he’ll do K again. Sigh… what is it about parenting that makes you second, third, and fourth guess every decision you make?
It always seems that way, doesn’t it??
Oh, I’m right there with you! My son started Kinder yesterday and he seemed to do well…but the fear of the unknown and for me stranger safety is a big concern (gulp). Then next week my daughter (almost 3) starts preschool…ugh. It is a little much and it’s hard to let go and not worry.
I wish you luck! I’m sure they will both do great:) It’s us Moms who need some TLC:) I’ll be thinking of you
Haaa…mine seems silly now..I used to worry that she wouldnt have any friends in her lunch period..and would have to sit alone..??
Oh are we in the same boat. Sept. 7th my son will start kindegarten in our public school system. We recently decided to send him to the town’s half day progam instead of paying to send him to the full day kindegarten at the daycare/pre-school he’s been attending.
Because it is my greatest intention not to make my fears, my son’s fears. He’s an outgoing, confident kid. And if I tell him with a smile, “Have a fun. It’s going to be a great day!” then it will be.
Let’s see, so far i’ve been worried about him getting picked on by older kids on the bus, making friends in a new school, focusing adequately since he’s young for his grade…I’ll stop there.
I remember worrying when my son started nursery school, would he be ok, would he have friends, would he cry (actually he cried when he had to leave). I worried when five years later I was expecting my daughter, would he feel left out. I worried for her also when she started school would she be leader or a follower being the second child.
I worried for both of them when we moved from London to New York, would they adjust, would they make new friends in this foreign land………. but in all of what seems like a sea of worries, we have survived and the joys of motherhood shine so bright.
Yes, and those sea of worries seem to change and somehow, we manage, right?
It is so funny how the things we worry about year to year change. I used to pray that my son would make it through high school without getting arrested or getting anyone pregnant! Well he’ll be 20 in January, graduated last year by the skin of his teeth, is attending an automotive technology course at local technical school, AND he and his girlfriend of 3 years are having a baby next month! No arrests though! lol!
And my baby, graduated from high school this year. Now I am worried about helping her get registered for tech school, she has to drive so far each day, will she get lost, will she have a panic attack (she is prone to them)?
So it seems that the issues get bigger the older they get , although each fear seems huge at the time you are having it. Just know that this too shall pass, and they will be fine. If it doesn’t work out perfect, it is a chance for them to learn and grow.
And mine are probably wishing they could worry about rocks in their jellies…. or wrinkles in her socks!
Exactly! Such a paradox!
the worries and fears for our kids continues to evolve and change through the years. For my daughter entering her senior year of HS, I now worry about boys, college and driving. It seems so much easier to worry about playground spats, loose teeth and 3rd grade math. But then none of it is easy. it’s just what we do.
You’re right, it’s what we do.
My son will be entering first grade and i have no worries about the whole social thing he’s got that down. But the reading thing iam always worring about if he reads enough is he advaced as the other kids in reading he loves anything math but reading is whole different story !
Thanks for a great post !
Thanks Connie!!
My son started 2nd grade this week. I worry will his new teacher be kind and understanding. I worry that we don’t have an official diagnosis, but an alphabet soup of what MIGHT be… OCD, BP, ASD, etc. I worry if I will have to go round and round with teachers, guidance counselors and the principal AGAIN this year. The one thing I don’t worry about? The look of fear and apprehension on the faces of the teachers/guidance counselors/principal when I walk into the school. I think they’ve learned over the last 2 years that i WILL advocate for my child.
And as you should!!
I don’t think the fears ever go away, regardless of how old our children get. My oldest is shy. I worry about him participating in class, making friends, getting bullied.
Judging by the phone calls I get from my mom, I think those fears persist for a VERY long time.
wouldn’t it be kinda nice if our lives were simple enough that having rocks in our jellies was our biggest issue?
And here I thought all this worrying was going to ease up any minute. Hmmph.
I know, right???
Oh my. Just wait til they’re teenagers, Heather. Oops. I shouldn’t have told you that. You have plenty of fears already. ;0) Yes, I understand completely. Having a child with special needs and one with ADD really compounds the fears for me. But I’ve learned to go in to the school year prepared (by that I mean getting my kids organized in systems that work for them and giving them the tools they need), talk to the teachers specifically about what my children need and be willing to be available and help them in any way I can on my end. I also email them for updates on my kids’ progress fairly regularly (but not enough to become annoying. ;0) That’s my two cents, for what it’s worth!
My worries know no bounds these days. My TweenStar starts fifth grade this year (middle school for her). I worry about her being bullied, her bullying other girls, Texting, FACEBOOK, boys, her homework, her body image, what friends she picks that I don’t know about, her confidence, that way her body is changing, and on and on. The list is endless and that is only for one of three.
So yes my worries have changed, but now I feel like they have multiplied!!!
OMG. I can’t even imagine – you’re right, totally multiplied!!!
Is it bad that preschool is still a year away and in already worrying about it? I had no idea that becoming a mom meant that you worry and feel guilty about everything. It’s ridiculous.
I do worry about the new school year. My son is going to start Kindergarten, and it seems like such a big step toward independence. I am freaking out! Inwardly. I put on a happy face and excited for his benefit. He is excited to go, but lots of what ifs are running through my mind. Most of all, it’s just hard to let go of my baby.
I know, I don’t think these “worries” will ever go away…
I’m very nervous about the school year starting in a few weeks, as I was last year. I’m actually in the midst of writing a post where I try to figure out how to handle the year this year, both for my son who’s going into Grade 2, and my 3yo who is technically old enough to go to Junior Kindergarten, but we are unsure of whether she’s ready to handle it. Oy.
Seems school anxieties are on everyone’s mind these days…. Its hard. Parenting is hard… and school for the next 13 years (plus college) scares me.
Love the name of the post though- rocks in my jellies– I remember having rocks in my jellies… and yes it was a much easier time!
I think that we all worry about how our little ones will do in a new school year. This year my son starts going to preschool 4 days a week instead of 2, so I’m hoping he adjusts ok! And then after this year he will go to Kindergarten…on the BUS. I’ll be freaking out at that point, I’m sure!
To answer your question, I am complete spazz about my kids. I worry about absolutely everything. But I keep a lot of it inside and let what is going to happen happen…for the most part.
Now, on to the good stuff. I just got giddy and got a chill at the thought of you getting 2 mornings a week to yourself!!!! What are you going to do???? I am jealous!
Jean, I know – talk about excited…but I can really use the time to catch up – I am a WAHM and I really need those mornings to get as much as I can done – uninterrupted. And some coffee and some music in the AM alone – priceless!
xo
This is the first year I”m not as nervous as I once was. You see, we finally got a correct diagnosis for our son, and he has an IEP. I just have to make sure the school is following it. Since he’ll be a 4th grader this year (wow that makes me feel old), he can tell me if I ask about things. For the first time since he started school, I think this year will be OK.
Amanda,
So glad to hear you are in a great space right now – but I’m sure there was tons of worry and research that went into finding it. This motherhood gig sure is hard!!
I worry already, and my little one isn’t even going to pre-school yet this year. She is just so shy in new situations. As a former teacher, I kind of wish for you that the school was just peanut free. Of course, that excludes other food allergies, but nut allergies can be so nervewracking for parents because of possible airborne components.
Angela,
Yes, it is so nervewracking with a child and a severe nut allergy!!
Every year there are different worries (although some remain the same). I think it is all part of being a mom, worrying. We will worry FOREVER.
I totally agree.
Testing
I am FULL of worries because my son will be starting school for the first time in less then 2wks…
he has never been ANYWHERE (other then my parents house) without me… so many fears
::HOLD ME:: =)
For the first time, wow! THAT is so scary – but you’ll get through it…I could use some rocks in my jellies right about now.
I am thinking of moving my 3yo from a home daycare that he’s been in since he was 3 months old to Preschool. I’m freaking out. What I can’t figure out is if I’m more worried about how I’ll handle it or how he will. :o(
Exactly how I feel about my daughter starting her program. This motherhood gig is hard, huh?
I think I already commented on your wonderful post, but I just had to stop by again to say that I LOVE JELLIES!
I Love Jellies, tooooo!!!!!!
I always worry for sure- right now, it’s about my little man going into Pre-K 5 days a week. My 18 month old will probably be thrilled when I put her in a program, but I have chills at the thought right now!! Good luck, and I’m sure it will all be great!
It goes by so fast doesn’t it???
I worried about rocks in my jellies, too. Suggestion for your daughter: Have a celebration or special outing to celebrate the milestone of going to tot school.
Love that idea!!!
I think it’s your job to worry so that your kids don’t have to or so that their biggest worry can be about getting rocks in their jellies.
It’s such a paradox, right?
I have an 11-week old and I JUST posted about the INSANE worries that have been taking over my brain lately! Being that I have a newborn and am getting adjusted to the schedule, I haven’t been visiting here as much as I would like – and this is the post I run into! How fitting. So nice to not feel alone. And, yes, I HATED rocks in my jellies.
It’s amazing what these little creatures can do to our sanity, isn’t it?? Hang in there – everything you are thinking about I was probably worrying about at that age, too!
xo
My daughter, who’s 3, will be starting kindergarten at the end of the month, and she’s really excited, which I’m thankful for! I was dreading it, because when my son was about to start kindergarten he was scared shitless, but thank God my daughter’s got a different approach! x
I worry about my son missing the bus to his afterschool program after school. I worry about bullies. I worry about him making friends every year and the list goes on and on (and on).
How very true! I think the fears will not completely go away once we become parents – it will evolves that’s for sure.
I know, we will always be worrying about something!
I was a less last year before my oldest son started kindergarten – so nervous for him! It was hard at first, but by the end of the year – what a difference! Now this year I’m not afraid at all, and we’re both excited for the first day back. However, my 2.5 year old will be starting a preschool program two mornings a week and I’m VERY worried about him! The worry is never ending.
I totally agree – as mothers, I don’t think the worrying will ever end.
xo
My expression was “the matrix is always changing”. It’s changing again with kindergarten – yikes!