Nana passed away almost two years ago and saying good-bye to her was one of the most difficult days of my life. But what still surprises me is how much my son {who was 3 years old at the time} remembers about that day. Moreover, how much he remembers her.
I was tucking him in bed last night when he caught me a little off guard. A conversation began and went something like this…
“Mommy, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure sweetie.”
“How did Nana die?”
“Well honey, sometimes when you get older and reach a certain age your body doesn’t work as good as it used to work…”
“How come?”
“Well, when people get older, sometimes they have problems inside their bodies and sometimes there are many problems that are hard to fix.”
“Why are they hard to fix? Can’t they just take medicine to make them feel better?”
“Well sweetie, sometimes medicine isn’t enough to fix the problems in their bodies.”
“Well, like what kind of problems?”
“Like if someone has a heart problem, sometimes their heart just doesn’t work as good as it did when the person was younger…”
“So why can’t they just get a new heart?”
“It doesn’t always work out like that honey…”
“Well I would have given my heart to Nana…”
Getting choked up I managed to mutter the words, “I know you would have sweetie.”
“But Mommy, I still don’t get it. What’s the number?”
“What do mean – number?”
“Like give me a number of when your body doesn’t work as good anymore.”
“Well, the number is different for every person. Some people live to be 90 and some even live to be 100. But sometimes, people die much younger.”
“But what number does it start at?”
“I would say around 80. How’s that?”
“But I still don’t get it…because trees are much older than that and they don’t die and they don’t seem to have any problems! Mommy, why can’t we be like trees? Then we could live forever.”
“Oh my special boy, you are absolutely right…why can’t we be more like trees?”
With that thought I held my son’s hand, kissed his forehead and stared at the ceiling above. I closed my eyes for a moment and all I can remember thinking was why can’t more trees in this world be more like him?
Oh how precious!! I completely choked up reading your story. There are times when I wish more people thought like kids do. It would make our world so much of a nicer place.
Sigh…
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That is probably one of the most precious stories I have ever read. Thanks for sharing such an intimate conversation. Aren’t children just amazing? It’s a hard age when they are beginning to grasp concepts like death but yet still don’t really understand it. I like how you answered his questions. This is still a tough one for me, trying to answer these questions that my 5 year old asks me.
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Awww! {Hugs} Kiddos are so sweet and innocent. It’s often the things they say that really make an impact on your life though. Such simplistic thoughts are enough to make anyone choke up and really ponder things. His Nana clearly made a big impact on him!
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This is such a great story! Why can’t kids stay so pure and innocent like that forever?
I loved this post!
What a special moment! It is always striking to me how kids deal with death. Principessa still talks about her cat that died over a year ago and has asked if everyone in our family will fit in the “box” (coffin) together. Oh and whether we could all have breakfast together!
Oh le sigh…this was another one of my very favorite posts. Ever.
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BAGibb on July 19, 2009 I think he laeft and then came back for a bit, dunno why tugohh lol
Amazingly insightful little boy with a heart of pure gold. What a blessing his thoughtful little (big) mind is.
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Aww, *sniff, sniff* So special Heather! And now it’s documented for all eternity so it will never be forgotten! Love it.
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Beautiful words… both from your little boy and from you! Loved this one.
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Great story! I once read an article on how adults should think more like kids again, and how we can learn from our kids…. I so agree with this!
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What a precious story, thanks for sharing such a intimate moment you had with your son. Aren’t children amazing? I wish we could keep them that way forever. It’s still so hard for me to answer these questions from my son, you did a really good job. I like how you answered him.
.-= Confessions of a Dr.Mom´s last blog ..Lessons From The Yogurt Lady =-.
Those kind of conversations stick with me for days, weeks even. If only we had all of the answers.
so sweet…..
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What a beautiful post! It brought tears to me eyes. It is so hard to answer some of our children’s questions, but sometimes I think they understand more than we think.
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Beautiful! It is so hard to explain concepts about death to children. Off to check out the featured TMC blogger, she sounds so interesting!
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What a sweet boy!
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Lovely. Thanks for sharing. I’m often totally astonished and brought to tears by the way my children can just cut through the confusion we make of things and see right to the heart of issues like grief, sadness, or love and faith. I guess it’s part of the little miracle that is a child.
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Out of the mouths of babes.
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Kids have more wisdom than we give them credit for…
That made me smile and tear up at the same time. What a lovely sentiment; it must make you so happy that he has kept and cherished the memories he ha with her.
You are so blessed to have had Nana. And it IS amazing how your son has a memory of her. Is he still as inquisitive as he was when you wrote this post? I’ll bet he is and that he still has an especially kind heart.
Aahhh! Again you have me bawling! My son always asks what the number is or how old will he be when he can drive, when he’ll be in college, etc.. He is 5 now. My dad turns 70 in a few months and his health is less than ideal. I know this day… Your boy sounds wise beyond his years. Thank you for sharing “again”
I love this post. I am so lucky to still have my grandma in my life and my children love to talk to “great grandma” on the phone or get her letters in the mail. Though she lives over 3000kms away and is definitely over the “number” when her body stops working properly this post gives me hope that my children will remember her when she is no longer here and that they will trasure the few memories they will have of her.
Thank you.
So wonderful you recorded this story. And what a sweet conversation. You have a wise little guy. I’ve often wished to know the number for people too. Then I wouldn’t have to worry so much…or I’d worry more!
Oh mama, I miss my Nana too! What a beautiful post and amazing that you have to conversation to hold onto for years to come. It’s so hard to cope with our own feelings while helping our kids through these difficult issues. You are such a great mama. And yes, we should all be trees.