I can’t believe I wrote about this five months ago and I am still here in the same situation. Nothing has changed even with good intentions.
I can’t believe summer is practically here and I am placing the exact same clothes on my body just as I had done last year. I remember folding those clothes up at the end of the season thinking it would be the LAST time I would be seeing them. I still have visions of myself smiling as I slowly packed each piece away thinking they would never touch this body again.
Wrong.
And now? I just feel stuck.
At the start of the New Year I swore that this time was going to be it. I was going to do what I had to do to get rid of this “baby” weight. The problem is that baby will be two in September so there is no excuse. Back in January I wrote about this issue and here I am writing about it again. To make matters worse, two years ago I officially began to work from home so my need for getting “all dressed up” to turn on my computer or play with my kids seemed ridiculous. I found myself getting “fully dressed” only when I went out to the store or to pick up my son. It’s hard to motivate myself to look all glam when it’s really just for the Target cashier or my pediatrician. Yes, that is my reality.
So aside from the “baby” weight issue and being stuck in the same clothes as last year, I look at everything in my closet even down to the cute shoes that I have and I truly have nowhere to wear them to – it’s almost like the end of an era. And this same feeling hits me even when I browse online and stumble upon a gorgeous pair of pumps like these from Kate Spade: {image credit}
I am at that point in my life in which I absolutely cannot spend $325 on a pair of Python Print Pumps {paying a mortgage, graduate school loans and raising two children} but it’s also the notion that even if I did own them I would have no place to wear them as a WAHM. You see, all of these emotions also hit me at once…
My friend recently went back to work full-time and needed me to watch her son for the afternoon. She dropped him off and after we chatted for a brief moment it was the first time I truly felt stuck in the middle of this battle.
I watched her walk to her car in her cute jeans, white open toe heels and adorable sunglasses while I stood there in the doorway, waving back to her in my black yoga pants, t-shirt with dried-up snot on my shoulder from my baby girl, holding her on my hip while chasing after the two boys behind me. I used to be that cute girl in designer jeans and heels, rushing off to work and now I just find myself stuck in this space. I think The Mommyologist needs have another chat with me about bringing my Mom Sexy back…
Regardless, I have since realized that a big part of my problem with this weight battle is pure lack of motivation. And this needs to change if I want to see change. I can’t give up this fight until I win.
Although I’ve come a long way of loving this body after giving birth to two babies, I need clothes that fit and right now they don’t. I need to do this for myself. I have everything else in order and going for me in my life right now so why is this so freakin hard?
And when I even remotely think about those Fall clothes from last year waiting for me – I’ll be damned if I am stuck in those, too.
I am having the same issues with my clothes too. I am trying to convince myself that maybe the dryer is just shrinking my clothes!
.-= Amy´s last blog ..It’s on my list =-.
Oh I feel what your saying!! I managed through blood, sweat and tears to lose my baby weight after #2. But, really, I miss having a reason to get all glammed up. I see no point it wearing something cute that will only be smeared in snot, food and who-knows-what-else. And then it’s really hard to feel all that cute when you’ve worn the same stained paints for three days straight {wait, I would never done that… 😉 }.
Oh how I sympathize. I work outside the home, so I still get dressed up, but my options are so limited right now because of my size.
This is really sad, but…I had gallbladder surgery today and I’m actually hoping that fatty foods disagree with me so I am forced to eat better and thus lose weight. I feel pathetic.
.-= The Daily Dribbles´s last blog ..Big Day =-.
Just a tip, if you’re having your gallbladder out, you won’t be able to digest food, umm, correctly. I lost like 10 lbs in a few weeks because of it. Was the best accidental eating disorder ever 😛
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Trashy Toys? =-.
I am there with you, and mine is not baby weight
I don’t know if you like to Run, but Run Like a Mother is a great book as far as inspiration.
Hugs,
I swore the same thing last summer. Yup, still in the same “fat pants”. So sad, but I have so little motivation, and very little reason to get dressed almost at all.
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Trashy Toys? =-.
I swear Mommy Bloggers have brains that are connected! I was hanging clothes up yesterday and I said to myself “I need a job so I can wear all these clothes” SAHM’s get no mileage out of good clothes. Church. My Gym. Target. That’s it. I’ll just force my husband to take me out more.
.-= Alex´s last blog ..I’m baaaaaaack….and tanner then usual. =-.
Oh wow, does it help to know I’m going through the same exact thing??? My kids wanna go to the pool tomorrow to celebrate their last day of school and I’m dreading it….I swore last year when I put my bathing suit away for the season that I would be rockin a hot little number this summer. Has that happened? Nope, I’ll still be trying to stuff myself into the old grandma lookin ugly tankini with a skirt to hide as much of myself as possible.
Somehow we’ll do it….we just need the motivation. Where’s Jillian Michaels when you need her? If I had her screaming in my face every time I opened the fridge, I’d be down 20 pounds in a matter of 4 weeks!
Hang in there!! Baby steps, my friend!
.-= Helene´s last blog ..I really don’t think it’s too much to ask… =-.
Oh my goodness, that was me before I started this job a few months ago… ugh I feel ya…… Kyiah is a year and a half and I keep saying oh ya I have baby fat… LOL………. I so want to wear cute clothes…… that look good on my body…. hang in there chica…… it will come…
I hope you are doing well.
TTYL
grissell
Oh, I know the feeling so frustrating. I look at these celebrities who are back to size 2 in like 4 weeks postpartum and it makes me so upset even though I know how unrealistic that is. It’s hard to keep everything in life perfectly balanced and find time to exercise and eat well. I really understand where you are coming from.
.-= Your Mommy Friend Lori´s last blog ..Parental Magic =-.
Yes it is sad not to have a place to wear those clothes. I miss the high heeled shoes the most, and love those ones you pictured! And it sucks to not fit into the old clothes. I think you need to get rid of the old clothes, they are just making you feel bad.
I did that, I purged my old work clothes, and I felt free. Yes I am not that size anymore and I do want to loose weight and am working on said baby weight. I have a 22 month old so I hear you.
.-= One Take on Life – Heather´s last blog ..Memorial day weekend recap =-.
I’m thinking about having a yard sale and putting my size 3 & 5 jeans out in it, because it’s been 4 years since I’ve been in them. I’m pregnant now, so there’s no way I’ll be in them anytime soon but I am bound and determined to immediately do something about this after this baby is born. I swear those size 10s that I have packed away for after this pregnancy will not fit me for long… I HAVE to get back to where I once was.
And I too have fallen into the slump of this ridiculous yoga pants and comfy clothes thing going on at home. I need my mama sexy back too!
.-= Amanda (Garibay Soup)´s last blog ..Faith ~ Scripture Journal =-.
Congrats on being preggers! Yes, we need like Jillian to do an intervention for all of us Theta Moms!!!
So it looks like I’m showing up late again to comment here, but I have to tell you why. There are posts that I read and immediately feel like I can comment on and then there are ones like these … that really hit me and then stick with me for days without an answer. (I still haven’t commented on your post that was probably a month ago about “Are you a mom or a woman first” and it’s kept me awake more than a night or two.)
All day long yesterday I was thinking about this post and how there are very few things in my closet that I actually wear anymore. And while I’m within about 5 pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight, let’s face it, pregnancy changes the shape of your body. And I can’t justify putting on the cute stuff that I can fit into when there is a very good possibility it will have a good deal of bodily fluids on it before the day is over.
For now my motivation is my daughter. I look at her and I always want her to have a healthy, happy, positive, energetic Mommy who can keep up with her every step of the way. And …. I want to teach her to swim which means I have to get into a bathing suit too … very soon. So I’m choosing to set short term workout goals and reward myself with cute workout clothes and pedicures – stuff that I can be Mommy proud in everyday!
Sorry for the lengthy reply and thanks for another great post.
PS- The Mommyologist is a great inspiration for me right now too – I totally want to be Mom Sexy!!!
.-= Dear Sydney´s last blog ..look what you can do now =-.
I know this may sounds nuts, but blogging about this issue, for me, has been like therapy. Because I get to read the awesome comments you leave and you remind me that I AM NOT ALONE.
And just for that, thank you.
I wish you the best of luck b/c it’s not easy…but I am also trying to just be at peace with what I look like…but it’s easier said than done!
Don’t be so hard on yourself!!! I expected the weight to just drop off since I was going to be breastfeeding and it didn’t. I was disappointed, and everyone kept telling me “it takes 9 months to make a baby, it will take just as long to get rid of the weight.”
My daughter is now 10 months old and it is still sitting on my a**, so I signed up for weight watchers 2 weeks ago and have lost 6 lbs. I asked the hubby if he could see a difference and he said not as much physically but a lot in my attitude and confidence. I feel the same way, maybe you need a little pick me up like that. I hope this helps and as corny and cliche as it sounds, you have made babies with that sexy body- that is an amazing thing so rock that sexy body!!
.-= Homemaking 101´s last blog ..Baby Cuddles, Baby Tantrums, and Dirty Diapers =-.
well, i’m not going to tell you to stop being so hard on yourself. because that’s what we do, we women. we kick our own asses so much–good thing i’m flexible! but anyway, i feel you, you know i do. i’ve only recently started making changes, and things are going well, but even now, i get down on myself quite often.
but maybe the getting down on ourselves performs some kind of evolutionary function–like spurs us into action–we just have to hit rock-bottom first. sounds like you’re getting very near your weight-related rock-bottom.
and those heels? sexy.
.-= alexis´s last blog ..i got yer summer reading right here. =-.
Oh I am right there with you. I think I have written about this ad nauseum, but I need to get my body back and my style back but I am lacking motivation and can’t figure out where it has gone or how to get it back.
I know how you feel even as a man. I need to lose about 20-30 pounds and I have ZERO motivation to work out. With moving and work I feel like I have no time or desire to ride my bike or go to the gym. I hope you meet whatever goal you are trying to achieve.
.-= Rob´s last blog ..Deal Moon for Deals and Coupons Amazon $25 GC Giveaway =-.
I honestly believe it takes a lot of time. And part of that is working out what your needs are (eg, no heels), and what your new body looks like. I’m at a point where I’ve decided it’s time to get more active again, so I’m pretty much nodding at everything you’ve said
.-= Hear Mum Roar´s last blog ..New toy from Mattel – Peek a Boo clock =-.
I am right there with you lady. Let’s do it together!
.-= Kristin´s last blog ..New Store To Explore =-.
I am working towards the best body before I am preggo, but sometimes I think that maybe my body will never and never be the same as the one I have this moment. But I guess the loss will be worth it once I have a healthy baby.
Time will tell.
.-= MsBabyPlan´s last blog ..My First Sewing Machine =-.
OK, now this was a GREAT posting and I know exactly how you feel. I found myself nodding my head a few times thinking, “Yes, that is exactly how I feel, too!” I have everything I need but still end up sometimes thinking, “What the heck is the matter with me! I’m still looking at these ugly elastic-waisted pants!” I want jeans, real jeans!
.-= LBDDiaries´s last blog ..Falling off the Wagon =-.
You’re not alone!
I lost 3 sizes LAST YEAR and it’s all back. I get so tired of having to be mentally tough about everything that I just don’t want to have to do it with my weight and what I eat too. Disciplining kids, keeping up the housework, finances, career, etc…I whine to myself “don’t I get to just relax about anything?” But the answer is always “sure–but not that!”
I guess we have to find a balance between loving the body we’re in, but still fighting the “blahs” and staying healthy and taking care of ourselves.
Jamie – THIS is exactly my problem! I have no motivation because I feel like I have so much responsibilty in my life – the kids, the house, my job – when I have time to myself, I want that glass of wine or that cookie. And in my experience, the only other way to lose the weight is I have to move this body – and that treadmill has yet to be turned on.
*Sigh* I REALLY need to get my butt in action b/c just thinking about those lame Fall clothes makes me cringe! Thanks so much for your comment.
.-= Theta Mom´s last blog ..Featured TMC Blogger: Mommy Words =-.
I feel your pain. I have a number of beautiful shoes and clothes (and purses) that I just love but I don’t wear much. Whenever we’re going somewhere that I have my husband’s help, though, I bust out my heels. He can carry our son in and out of the restaurant leaving me without the fear of toppling over in my heels.
FYI… really strange. I got an email (b/c i subscribe via email) but it was your V for violets post from may 10th… weird!!
.-= julia´s last blog ..Saturday Steals & Finds =-.
Oooh, that is strange! Let me know if it happens again.
Awww….I have never met you in person but when reading your blog and seeing pictures, I think you are absolutely adorable and beautiful. I know it’s a personal thing and how you feel about yourself. I went through that in my first year after having Isabella but I’m rooting for you. Every mom needs to feel good about themselves personally. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, it’s how you feel about yourself.
It’s funny…I was just having this conversation with my girlfriends at a bday dinner last night! I have faith that you can get back into those “nice” jeans
.-= Tara Bucci´s last blog ..Taylor Swift Doll $20 =-.
p.s have you heard of P90x? I’m hearing a ton about it! I hate working out but hear this is great and really worth the buy.
.-= Tara Bucci´s last blog ..Taylor Swift Doll $20 =-.
I feel the same way . I have three kids and it took me about 2-3 years to get within 5 lbs of my prepregancy weight but alas 14 lbs are back.
Maybe it really boils down to just loving oursleves as we are. I am no Jennifer Aniston but I am healthy and fit so why not love myself. Think of the wonderful things we do as mothers, even though it is not glamorous. What would they do without us!!!! We are beautiful, strong ,intelligent woman!!!!
Oh I know what you are saying far too well! I used to be that girl too … and while life is so much better now, I miss a little bit of her. I am trying so hard to find the motivation to just do SOMETHING, instead of ignore the situation. I miss the designer jeans that I worked so hard to buy and wear.
The picture of the Kate Spade shoe made me zone in immediately on your post about “the battle”. I saw myself in every word and I’m tormented by this issue right now! My 3rd child is 18mos now and my yoga pants/pajamas/skirted bathing suits are my reality:(. I was inspired by you saying that no matter how long it takes you have to stay in the battle until you win. That is how I feel to and I remind myself that everyday is an opportunity to fix this mess! The other day I “packed up” the clothes that are just wrong and providing the crutch. Wish me luck!!
Karen – My thoughts exactly. So nice to hear I am not alone – and yes, I agree – no matter how long this thing takes, I will WIN this fight and so will YOU! Thanks so much for your comment.
And by the way, when I reach that goal, I will be sporting some python print pumps to go with my new body!
Whenever I am in a place in my life that I am not exactly pleased with I just say to myself that this is just where I am now. I have been up five or ten, down five or down, stressed and non-stressed, but each phase that I am in I try to be in the moment and know that it won’t last forever.
Hang in there, I have been there as well.
Sadie at heyMamas
I know just how you feel! My son is 15 months old and for most of those 15 months I’ve bounced up and down the scale more time than I can count. I refuse to buy new clothes until I lose the weight, but the ones the do fit are old and BLAH. It sounds like we both need an extra push & some inspiration – good luck!
.-= Emily´s last blog ..I love the smell of bathtime =-.
I’ve actually recently decided that being a SAHM is no reason to toss my love of fashion and style out the window. So, I’ve pulled out some of my favorite clothes and shoes and I’m wearing them. Yes i’m wearing my expensive jeans and cute flats to the grocery store with the kids. Yes, I’m wearing a little empire waist dress and wedges to Target. Yes, I’m wearing a chunky necklace and a fun bracelet to the pediatrician. But do you know what? It makes me feel good. And happy. And like SOMEONE, not JUST a mom. We work harder than many of the women getting decked out every day for “work” so we should show ourselves off too!
As far as the baby weight… yes, that takes a huge commitment. I’m still trying to figure out when to fit in those 30 minutes of exercise when I’m drop dead tired at night and equally so in the morning. But it has to happen. For me, it’s for my sanity.
Great post!
.-= becca´s last blog ..My dances with Ivory =-.
You can do it girl!
My daughter is the same age and Im still struggling with the last few lbs.
and dont even get me started on all the cute shoes and clothes I only WISH I had somewhere to wear them to— Helloo Blogher!
.-= Corine (Complicated Mama)´s last blog ..Music Mondays- Rose’s Song takes Complicated to a new level =-.
I feel that every time I’m around my college friends. Of course I’m the only one with a family and that’s what I keep telling myself but it really dosen’t make it any better. And the shoes are what kill me the most! So my mommy friends and I started the High Hell club and every now and then we get all dolled up for each other and go to dinner. It’s not much but at least my heels don’t go to waste!
.-= Mary´s last blog ..Gaming Systems =-.
It’s so hard. I was stuck in a rut last year, no motivation what so ever. Then my biggest pair of jeans didn’t fit me and that was it. I started to search for the best ways to lose weight where I could still eat and here I am 9 months later at my goal weight and feeling great. The last thing on my mind was me. My kids are first but I always make sure I have me time now, even if it’s something small. Hang in there, you’ll be just fine.
.-= Nichol´s last blog ..GlassesUSA Celebrity Frames Review and Discount! =-.
Thanks Nichol – I am trying but I need to move my body. Seems like that’s the only thing that is going to make a difference. Thanks so much for your comment.
Once again, I’m a little behind – just getting around to reading this. And am I ever glad you posted it! I’m right there with you! I am so happy with my choice to be at home with my boys, but I REALLY MISS having a reason to get dressed up and talk to adults all day. It sounds silly, but I’ve started planning one or two things every week that force me to look cute – dinner with friends, date with the hubs, window shopping at chi-chi stores (gotta look the part, even if I’m not buying, right?!?!).
I also forced my behind back to the gym, because nothing’s going to change if I don’t put in some more effort. I, too, am wearing clothes I swore I’d never see again. Well, I’m here to say – next summer I’m getting all new clothes!! Let’s start a support group, shall we??
Oh girl – support group for this, I am SO THERE! I know what you mean about having a “reason” to get all dolled up. Trust me, I am right there with you!!!
I understand what you are saying, I have been a stay at home Mom for the past 10 years. There are so many days that I would love to just get dressed up and go somewhere…… anywhere! The yoga pants and dirty t-shirt can get you down some days!
I have also got lost in being a mom and forgot to take care of myself.
I did find 30 Day Shred it is the best work out video I have ever done! It is only 30 mins and it is not easy but it works!!!
Good luck to you!
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Thanks Sandy – I have been struggling with this recently since I was the work out-of-the-home mom and now I am the WAHM and there is a huge difference on so many levels – one being the wardrobe!
And you’re right, I have to move my body as that is the only way I will see real change… thanks for your comment!
Oh I feel your pain. I’m going through something similar and not just weight, but hair, skin, all these changes that have happened since motherhood. And the frumpy factor just weighs me down sometimes, you’re right it’s especially hard to drag yourself out of it when you’re a SAHM or WAHM.
But we do have to make the effort, I know I feel so much better even when I’m wearing a t-shirt that’s a little bit smarter than normal. It’s a great idea to plan ‘dates’ for dressing up – mums nights out and as someone said, even just window shopping at chic boutiques.
As for getting moving, it might sound crazy but hula hooping is changing my life! When I’m in that hoop, I am everything I dream of being – sexy, powerful, confident and free. Go on, give it a twirl!
.-= Babes about Town´s last blog ..Win Sophie the Giraffe! =-.
As if from my mind to your keyboard. If you find the magical solution, please let me know!
.-= Skooks´s last blog ..Tools of the Trade: Lint Roller =-.
Oh God. I am so there. Mommy boot camp is kicking my mommy arse but (no pun intended) here I am stuck in the same darn clothes. Why I can’t wake up 10 (Okay maybe 20 lbs) less? How can you be a size 6-8 and still have and be disgusted with your muffin top???? My baby is 6. Why do I look 3 months pregnant??? Argh. Spanx…you need to quit mingling with my underpants. Fat..begone!
.-= Mama Grits aka Kim´s last blog ..Seaweed, snakes and bulldozers. I mean..the beach. =-.
Good job.No matter where we are, we must study all the way.Thanks a lot for sharing so wonderful article.