I picked up my son from pre-school recently and when we got home it was routine as usual; he took off his shoes, went potty, washed his hands and got ready for an afternoon snack while I unloaded the backpack.
I like to be the one unloading the backpack because it gives me a chance to sort through the parent notices, clean out his lunch bag and organize the work folder. You see, my son is four years-old and he brings home 9,000 pieces of art, colored papers and worksheets and it ALL comes home. If I kept every single slice of work he’s ever created my refrigerator door would not even be able to open. So I came up with a little organization technique that I like to call The Swap: When I hang up a “new” piece of work one comes down and ultimately lands in the garbage (without him seeing of course) which is my way of keeping this kind of clutter under control.
However, on this recent de-clutter fest I made an epic mistake. As I was sifting through his work folder {routine as usual} I grabbed a piece of work and quickly placed in the trash. Since I was about to throw the entire trash bag out, I knew my son wouldn’t see it but I was soon distracted by my daughter and forgot about it…
Before I knew it my son went to throw out the wrapper from his snack and that’s when he saw V is for Violets sitting beneath some wet chicken and rice.
And then the tears came.
“But I can’t ever make it again. I made it for you Mommy and now it’s ruined,” he muttered as he continued to cry.
My heart was broken. Words can’t express how I felt at that moment as I watched my four year-old crushed by the revelation that his mommy just trashed his beautiful art work. Obviously my son was really upset so I tried to explain that mommy made a grave mistake and that it would not happen again. I tried to divert his attention to the other 8,999 pieces of art hanging up on the fridge that we could admire…
“No, I picked it for you because I told my teacher that purple is your favorite color and now it’s ruined.” {I may be blonde, but I still wasn’t making the FULL connection here to this specific piece of work}
“What do you mean you picked it for me?”
My son ran into our mud room and grabbed a plant from the bottom of a bag. He said, “This is for you Mommy…for Mommy’s Day.”
Now it began to make sense. The V is for Violets artwork went along with my Mother’s Day plant that he picked out at school all by himself knowing it was my favorite color.
Epic fail.
I reached into the garbage and wiped the chicken and rice off the top of the construction paper and told my son that it was the best piece of art work he’s ever done, especially for me – and that I love it and I love him to pieces. I kissed his forehead, wiped away his tears and told him how sorry mommy was and from that moment forward anything that is super special will go into a “super special folder” and anything that gets thrown out would have to meet his approval first. With tons more kisses and hugs, he seemed to like that plan.
So now?
I gladly hide the side of my fridge with 9,001 pieces of art because I never want to make that kind of mistake again.
Because V is for Violets and L is for a Lesson Learned.
I have a good system for you to try. You need a middle spot between fridge door and trash. Mine is the top of the fridge, out of site of little eyes. Things go from being displayed to the top of the fridge. Only after a few weeks of not being looked for or asked about do they go into the trash! We have ALL done this, HONEST!
Diane
To the top of the fridge – I like it!!!
Oh! I have SO been there – my kids discovered their art in the trash once a few months ago and I have NEVER lived it down … the violets and the violet plant and your favorite color just make my eyes tear up though. What a sweet sweet boy.
xo
That is SO sweet of your little boy. Incredibly sweet. I get the guilt, but it happens, and I’m sure something like it will happen again. I like Diane’s suggestion of some sort of pit-stop to the trash. Thank you for sharing! I’m certainly going to catalog this one
.-= Beth @ Laugh Until You Cry´s last blog ..My first 5k is one month from today! =-.
Awwww…poor guy! Poor Mommy too! That would have made me cry and my heart is made of ice (apparently)!
.-= Rebecca´s last blog ..Mother’s Day rundown =-.
Maybe you could try scanning each one (before chucking them away)… this way, both of you could look through ALL of them any time you’d want to.
.-= Buckeroomama´s last blog ..iheartfaces – Week # 19 : Celebrating Mothers =-.
I never thought of scanning – or perhaps maybe even a photo of them…thanks for the idea!
That sounds like a good system you have, I’m going to have to remember that one!
.-= The Flores Garden´s last blog ..My first Mother’s Day. =-.
Your little guy is too sweet! I can never bring myself to throw out any artwork, so I’ve ended up with a humongoid box out in our garage FULL of scribbles and “art.” One of these days, I’m going to have to clean it out and I dread the day LOL
.-= Just My Blog´s last blog ..My Mother’s Day =-.
Sweet story.
I have been found out for throwing away “masterpieces.” Even though I keep much more than I should, and have a huge drawer for each child for their artwork, it feels like if I ever do throw out a piece, I get caught. Nothing to make you feel bad like throwing away your child’s creative endeavors.
.-= Katherine´s last blog ..The Last Eight Years =-.
Katherine – So glad to hear I’m not alone on this one! Honestly, it broke my heart, can’t imagine seeing him crushed for something I did!
Oh, you poor thing! You weren’t to know… But what a sweet little boy to do that for his mummy
.-= Hear Mum Roar´s last blog ..Using language as a tool against tantrums =-.
Oh- what a hard lesson to go through. A wise mother told me to not save every masterpiece, but to take pictures of them or scan them. About 2 weeks ago, I scanned every project I had in my pre-schooler’s project box and then took pictures of him holding the projects that were too big to scan. I ended up with nearly 100 pictures/scans and was then able to recycle the ones that aren’t my favorites.
Awww your son is so sweet! And what a great way you were handling it. I can’t wait until mine starts preschool this June.
.-= Maureen´s last blog ..Dual Citizenship Dreams =-.
What a sweet little boy!
.-= Andrea´s last blog ..To My Dearest Mother! =-.
Yep, take pictures or scan them & keep only a select few to have to literally hold on to. Really you can’t keep everything in its original form or you’ll end up like that hoarders show, but can keep the memories neatly contained
Oh, no, that’s one of my nightmares! I do the whole “trash it behind their backs” routine, too, because my twins come home with PILES of “art,” usually with all kinds of glitter and googly eyes just waiting to fall off. I can’t imagine how you must have felt when he was crying. That makes me want to cry, too!
This has definitely given me something to think about. Perhaps only save the pieces of art they seem to really like?
Visiting from SITS…glad to have found your site!
.-= Angie´s last blog ..Reflections on motherhood =-.
That’s the plan Angie – to really sit with him weekly and go through the pile of what he adores and what can “move on.”
Thanks so much for the visit – I love new readers! Can’t wait to check out your blog!
Tears!
What a sweet story. I totally filled up reading it.
And what a darling and thoughtful little boy! You are so lucky.
.-= Jennifer @ three pugs & a baby´s last blog ..{ some 29 years ago… } =-.
These are the moments when we realize how lucky we are, aren’t they?
Oh my ga. That made me stick out my bottom lip like a sad little puppy.
aw, i think all mom’s do that at least once. when my son came home on friday, i went through his backpack and by some small mercy, i decided to keep the one piece of artwork he had in there. i keep a drawer for the stuff i’m “unsure” about, and that he may want to show me later. i empty it out every couple of months, when i know he’s forgotten about it. this time, i woke up on Mother’s Day to his sniffling, when he declared he couldn’t find it. don’t worry mama- it happens. you have a very sweet child.
.-= Nobody´s last blog ..Mom’s Pet Peeve =-.
Oh!!!! It is so precious when our kids get so attached to their work! I love the swap idea—Principessa brings home the same types of piles from montessori. Enjoy your violets!!
OH MY Gosh.
That post was fantastic on so many levels.
The honesty. The brilliant idea for special folder and pre approval before pitching.
And the L for Lesson Learned.
This is a fantastic post. JUST FANTASTIC.
Thank you so much. We all make mistakes, don’t we?
.-= Alexandra´s last blog ..Lost In Translation =-.
We sure do Alexandra, so I have learned to make the best of the situation, learn from the mistake and move forward – and perhaps make it a teachable moment.
Thanks so much for your awesome comment!
.-= Theta Mom´s last blog ..V is for Violets: The Epic Parent Fail =-.
I almost cried over this! I have been in that spot many times. We have a spot on the wall between the living and dining rooms where artwork and good tests get hung. My daughter knows that new ones will eventually replace old ones, and she’s ok with that. I have to be sneaky with my son.
I have a binder for special things my daughter has made in school and will probably do the same when my son starts next year. What I want and need to do is this…
Take pictures of things before we throw them away and make a scrapbook out of them.
.-= All You Need is Love´s last blog ..Mission Monkey Minute =-.
Awe, what a sweetie pie he is. I’ve been there…it’s hard to keep all that artwork until control. I feel like I’m buried with artwork from my two, I can’t imagine the amount we’re going to have when Charlie starts preschool!
.-= Emily´s last blog ..Happy Mother’s Day! =-.
Oh man, I’m crying like a baby.
We have been through the same thing in our house. It sucks.
.-= Kmama´s last blog ..Mission Monkey Minute =-.
Guilty too. Isn’t it great to know you’re in good company? 😉
What a sweet little man, and the best part is that children are such forgiving creatures. We should learn from them . . . .
(We do take pictures of special artwork. That seems to help with the clutter issue, but we still have lots of, ahem, masterpieces that probably need to go soon!)
Poor thing! Nice recovery Mom
.-= Jenna´s last blog ..Grass…My New Best Friend =-.
Oh, that is a bit of a heartbreaker! Nice job covering yourself though. I know that we’ve all done this very thing….just never know how the little one will take it.
Your son sounds like a sweetheart. Good luck with the new system.
.-= Allyson´s last blog ..Kids Bedroom Makeover…..because I feel UTTERLY lazy and unmotivated to be whitty and clever right now. And also, it’s super cute and I never showed the before and afters properly. =-.
I know what you mean! I always hate when I’m sneaking to the garbage can and it’s nearly full. I try to squish the artwork down the side or something so she’s less likely to notice when she throws something away.
.-= A Belle, A Bean & A Chicago Dog´s last blog ..One In Every Crowd =-.
Oh, mommy guilt! Glad to know it all turned out okay. Your son sounds like a huge sweetheart!
.-= Natalie´s last blog ..Takin’ The Day Off! =-.
It’s always the mommy guilt, right??? Gets us every time!
That was the sweetest story ever. OMG, your little man is just the best. My husbands mom saved EVERYTHING he ever scribbled on, seriously. And now we are storing those little masterpieces in numerous trunks and boxes all over the place. I really like the scanning idea. I think that will be the way we go when the little man starts to create his own little masterpieces.
.-= Shari @ Tales from the Sippy Cup´s last blog ..Yeah, my toddler Skypes – doesn’t everyone’s? =-.
Awww, that was such a sweet (and slightly sad) post!
I can’t bring myself to throw away any of my 5 year old’s artwork. It all resides on my fridge, and in an under-the-bed storage bin.
I HAVE to do this with my 7 year old as well. If I don’t throw things away my house will become a massive fire hazard. I usually try to throw things away while she is out of the house or at a sleep over…then she never sees a the precious artwork in the trash
Yes – take it from me Anne, don’t even attempt when they are home!
OOOH I so understand this one! I have been busted more than once!
I like your ideas!! Thanks so much!
http://www.aboutone.com
Check out our Early Customer Deals!
Oh Heather! You sweet thing! We have ALL done this. You are not alone, I promise, and you are not a failure. I agree with the solution of the “middle place,” where you hide the older stuff for a while. I bring home things every day too, and it just gets to be too much, esp. with twins who are both in the same class at preschool….I also have a big box where I toss a lot of their artwork and ever so often weed through it for the keepers. I’ll save the box for them when they’re older and let them keep and choose what they’d like to save….
Happy Belated Mother’s Day to you!
.-= Erin´s last blog ..Get Your Green On With the Lovely Lara at La Plates: Darling (Personalized!!) Reusable Tote Giveaway =-.
Oh man, that made me get all messy eyed. I’m absolutely terrible about tossing ANYTHING my daughter makes. I have a box in the garage and it all goes in there, except for the things that are clearly scribbles. She is only 2 1/2. Sheesh girl. After reading your post I’m more worried about doing this. I’ll have to be really, really careful when she starts to really notice and the stuff is piling up so bad I can’t control it. Thanks for sharing this!
–Jen
I thought I had an awesome plan orignally, but that failed when he found it in the garbage!!! Yes, learn form my mistake and involve them in the process of “what can stay” and “what can go.”
Oh, my heart is breaking for you. But you definitely turned it around – great thinking on your feet! And yes, lesson learned.
Here’s a story for you: my little brother, who was probably around 6 at the time, painted an Easter egg at school. Don’t ASK ME why they gave the kids uncooked eggs. Anyway, he was so proud of his little egg and he couldn’t wait to show Daddy when he got home from work. And as soon as that front door opened, he grabbed the egg and ran over to show it to him. And what did Dad do? He immediately crushed it. I don’t even know why you’d grab an egg so tightly. Oh, the look on that poor baby’s face.
All parents do it!!
.-= Mrs. Jen B´s last blog ..Red Wine Mushrooms and Onions =-.
oh man that would break my heart too!! i’d be plastering the walls with art if that had happened to me. but don’t beat yourself up too bad because something like that would happen to me too!
.-= ericka @ alabaster cow´s last blog ..the reason i had a kid… =-.
Awe, I can so see me doing that! I throw a lot of artwork away, too. There is just SO much!! But its so sweet how he explained and picked that out for you
.-= Jenica´s last blog ..Applique Tee-Shirt Sale! =-.
My son gets so mad at me because I don’t display everything. And then when I wanted to take one of his works of art to work to put on my wall he threw a fit because he wanted to keep it home. I won though and now it is on my wall in my office. I try to keep their projects on the fridge for as long as I can but it is so hard. And now that my daughter is in school and bringing home projects, it is just getting ridiculous! It looks like you had a great Mother’s Day though. My kids got me a Pandora bracelet with 2 charms. One is green and one is blue. They know that those are my favorite colors! It was too sweet!
.-= Jayme´s last blog ..Monday Minute with DDoR-Mission Monkey Edition =-.
How awesome, that bracelet sounds so pretty! And knowing they were thinking of us when they give us these gifts – it’s the BEST.
He’s so sweet!!!
.-= Kate´s last blog ..Punishments =-.
You are not alone. My last baby is in Kindergarten this year and I am afraid to throw away even a scrap of paper. He and I go through it all each week and he decides what we can put on the bulletin board in the kitchen – three things only. Fewer tears but I have thrown out a lot in my time and caused many melt downs. Feel better, we’ve all been there!
.-= Coastal Chick´s last blog ..Where No One Knows Your Name =-.
Awwwww, poor little munchkin. And poor mama!
.-= Kristin´s last blog ..Sunny Days Have Definitely Chased the Clouds Away! =-.
ugh i’ve been there! but yours was sooo sweet! i mean sweet of his reason for the picture that is…
my kids know i’m notorious for chunking most and i say most of their work. i mean how can i keep all million from each kid? so this mother’s day my oldest daughter gave me my hand made cards they did in class…she said as she was handing me it…”this one isn’t for the trash, but for you” oops! haha…
.-= Laura Scott´s last blog ..Ramblings from Mother Of the Year Herself =-.
Awwwwww!!! Your poor little boy! I have a 5yr old in pre school, I know what you mean w/ all their art work. I am such a pack rat I save EVERYTHING (much to my husbands dismay) each one of my kids has a shoe box and all their art work goes in there.
I am totally teary-eyed! I can’t wait for the day my son can give me his artwork
.-= Grace´s last blog ..My C-section =-.
And you’ll remember this post of the drama that ensued and you’ll be sure never to make the mistake I did! lol
i wish i could have some of that artwork i threw away years ago. it definitely gets more priceless with time. i suggest you get an empty plastic container and lovingly put it all in there so when he’s older and ready to get married he and his GF can have all sorts of fun sorting through those cherished memories.
dianeswords.wordpress.com
.-= Diane ´s last blog ..Formspring.me: You stink; you’re stupid; I hate you =-.
i just started a bin system where i ask the kids if they want to keep something and in it goes. Once its full we will go through and sort out what they want. I also take all the artwork and place it on the floor, and take a picture of it. We have moment’s without all of the paper.
.-= Bungalow’56´s last blog ..Happy Mother’s Day! =-.
Yes, I am totally loving the picture idea – good way to preserve them without all of the paper!
Awwww….(insert the sound of my heart breaking here). That is so sweet. Happy Mommy’s Day.
…and F is for Forgiveness — his and yours.
.-= themsrevolution´s last blog ..mothers of invention: annie =-.
OMG – I love that. Thank you for that reminder!!!
Awww…..so sweet of him! I’ve done exactly the same thing previously and have a ridiculous amount of artwork. We also do the rotation thing!!! Hope you had a great Mothers Day!
.-= Emma´s last blog ..Lisa Jewell Book Giveaway!! =-.
Oh, what a sweet boy. And no worries, mom, we’ve all been there! I, too, have a 4-year-old and oh my gosh, there is a lot of art. Every piece – EVERY piece – gets sent home. Sometimes it’s just scrap pieces of paper that he has cut up (he’s not much into art, but adores scissors – should we worry?).
Like some of your other readers, we have a way-station for art. It goes from the magnet boards to one of the kitchen cupboards, and then – in the dark of night – we toss it and take out the trash. He has asked for some of the trashed pieces before. I play dumb, pretend it must have gotten misplaced, and EVENTUALLY he forgets. We have a small box of very special things that don’t ever get thrown out. Oh – and I take pictures of the magnet boards periodically so we at least have a record of his masterpieces!
I love the idea of a magent board in the kitchen – sort of like “diplaying” it rather than just placing it on the fridge. And then taking a picture of the magnet board – FABULOUS idea!
Thanks for your awesome comment!!!
Oh what a sweet guy you have there and a sweet story you shared even if you did feel bad and made the mistake, it still is a sweet memory to share with us readers. I’m thinking of scanning my monkey’s artwork and then uploading to walmart or a scrapbook site and then printing out a book with all her masterpieces so we can see things she made but it will be like it’s a real illustrated book to cherish for years to come.