My bloggy world has been slightly jaded. I recently encountered an experience that totally spooked me…
Remember I wrote a post about my near obsession with stats and the numbers game? Remember how in that same post I mentioned you can use your stats to your advantage as long as you don’t compare yourself to the numbers in the process? Well, I was doing a routine stat check recently and I noticed I was receiving some incoming traffic from China on a very strange referral. At first I didn’t think much of it but when this same referral started to hit my blog daily it began to concern me. I never clicked on the link (just in case it was something suspicious) but instead I did some research on Google Analytics and found myself in a support forum.
Apparently, I was not alone.
I was one of thousands of website owners from all over the world who were being attacked by this highly suspicious traffic out of China with the SAME referral.
I went back to my stats and over the next few days I had a surge of traffic coming from this suspicious site. They were hitting my blog on the hour, every hour. At that point I knew they were not coming to Theta Mom to read my latest post or to meet a blogger through TMC and as it turns out, my presumptions were correct.
It has been reported that these were indeed hackers, crawling websites and probing for passwords in an attempt to add malicious scripts. I immediately started to block the IP addresses but the problem was this site was running on thousands of servers so the IP addresses kept changing with every hit. After heeding the advice from Google Analytics who was investigating this issue for thousands of webmasters, I was advised to block all traffic from China to ensure these hackers couldn’t access my site. Needless to say, this unnerving experience has brought a couple of things to light for me.
It reinforces the idea that our blogs can be seen by anyone, anywhere at anytime – including this kind of “unwanted” traffic.
In addition, I’ve had some really nasty Google searches recently (so nasty I can’t even repeat them on this blog) with the word mom in them which ultimately lands them to MY blog since “mom” is in the title. These are especially the kind of peeps I do not want coming to my blog viewing pictures of my children or reading about me. However, it’s the kind of thing to expect since we are putting ourselves out there on the internet for ALL to see.
So I think this begs to ask the question, what standards should we have set forth on our blogs for ourselves? What are the limits?
There is no right or wrong answer here but for me, I do not share my children’s names, my place of employment or any of that other personal information. Furthermore, anything I add to Facebook I presume can be seen by everyone so I don’t add anything there that I wouldn’t add here. But I do post pictures of my children on this blog and although in recent months I watermarked them, I’m beginning to wonder if I should even post pictures at all.
So if there is EVER a post I would like you to comment on, please make it this one and share with me – I really want to know how you deal with this. As active bloggers, where do you draw the line? What are you comfortable publishing on the internet and how do you do so without losing your authenticity as a blogger in the process?
Wow. That is just frightening. People know my name, but I don’t ever talk about where my hubs works…and I’m pretty scarce with pics of the dude. You never know what creepers are out there!
This is such a great topic – one that I think needs continual dialog since we tend to “forget” these dangers are out there. When I started out 6 months ago, I hadn’t even thought about this kind of thing, which is crazy because I have been working in the IT industry for years (I blame it on “mommy brain”) I did use the first name of my kiddo in a few posts early on, but then I started to learn more and hear more stories of some pretty “spooky” things happening and have started only using nick names. I still post pictures of my kiddo, but try not to use his name too much. I have been thinking about watermarking them as well. Facebook is the place that really freaks me out though. I resisted having a Facebook page for some time because it is hard to keep your personal page and your blog page separate unless you want to manage 2 accounts. (If there is a trick out there that I don’t know – I would love to hear it). With Facebook, it becomes a matter of what you post and what others post as well (being tagged in pictures, tracking your comments, your friends comments – your family is on there…etc)
Ultimately, I think it is a good idea to be careful not to put too much information out there, like full names, locations, places you frequent. Businesses are actually cropping up that revolve around taking advantage of all the info that is being “shared” online. Gathering info from “Foursquare” and others and selling it. Here is an article that I read just yesterday: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/23/technology/23share.html?hp
Technology is fantastic, but also can be pretty scary when placed in the wrong hands. We all need to very careful of how much of ourselves we put out there. I think we can be as authentic as we want and/or need to but just be cognizant of how “naked” we are before we hit submit. Having these kinds of discussions and dialogs more often are important as well and that is why TMC is so awesome.
.-= Shari @ Tales from the Sippy Cup´s last blog ..Teaching patience and the everlasting gobstopper =-.
Shari – First off, thank you SO MUCH for this thought-provoking comment – this is why I heart you, you are a blogger that always seems to understand what I am trying to say and you always move the discussion forward with good food for thought.
I agree, this topic is something that needs to be addressed frequently as this a reality of blogging. The “dangers” of being online/privacy issues completely coexists in the blogosphere, so we must always remain vigilant and comfortable with what we are sharing. As far as FB goes, I only have one account, but anyone I know IRL I send meesages to. I don’t post personal things on my wall or any of that stuff and I don’t even share my last name.
I’ve thought a lot about this issue over the last few days and the comments here have reminded me that what I have done thus far has been effective; minimal photos, no full names, places of employment, etc. and I have to be confident about those good choices I’ve made and continue to make decisions that work for me – and you are right, I can STILL be authentic as I always have been through the content of this blog.
Thanks for validating my every thought in this post.
xoxo
Yikes. Now i’m definitely worried. I went through and made sure that my first name and where I live is off of my blog. That is way too scary to chance! I hate that there are such horrible people in the world that have to do such creepy things. I love having my blog as a journal to document our lives… it stinks that such stinky people have to take advantage of that. Thank you for this post. Definitely puts things in perspective.
.-= Mrs. Hesson´s last blog ..Diet Schmiet =-.
This has always been a concern for me. I never use last names, water mark all pictures, don’t talk about where we are from or anything like that. Since DH is our webmaster, he is constantly watching the fire wall logs and blocking these types of IP addresses. I’m sure if someone really wanted to find us, they could. However, I wouldn’t make it easy. I’ve actually considered starting a contest to see if someone could track down our address from the information posted on the blog. I would like to know how easy it would be but I’m not sure I want to open up that search.
.-= Tiffany´s last blog ..Where is my baby going? =-.
I have gone back and forth on this subject so many times. I get freaked out about something, and then I get over it. Here is what I feel on this issue…
I have never ONCE heard of anything happening to someone through blogging. As long as you don’t put private info on there I think you are fine. Make your blog generic, yet personal still. I don’t even put where we are going on a trip, until after we get back.
I have had comments on my blog that linked to weird asian porn sites (it’s only happened twice, but STILL)
I think it’s okay to put pictures of your kids on the site. I just wouldn’t have them in a swimsuit, or whatever. I really don’t think anything would ever happen! I do think it’s good though that you blocked traffic. Do you have a PC or MAC?? Just wondering, cause I know it’s harder to hack into macs.
I wish I knew the answer to this! You should do a follow up of what you feel is the best thing to do! I know I would appreciate it.
.-= Gerber Days´s last blog ..HABE and a giveaway. =-.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts – I will be posting a follow-up tomorrow – the feedback was amazing and it’s comforting to know I am not alone. As far as the hacking, I think it’s a sad reality for all of us and no blogger is immune to it – the only thing we can do is stay vigilant and back up our blogs regularly.
Oh, now I’m totally freaked out.
I do post names, but not last names. Although, the way technology is today, people can do a basic search and find out about you no problem – whether or not the info is on your blog. I’m on various websites that I’ve done contact work for – full name and all – with links to websites that talk about my life coaching services. And those have phone numbers.
A while ago my mom happened to Google her address and there, without her previous knowledge, was a photo of her house.
I also think about the mega-mommyblogger, Dooce.com’s Heather Armstrong. She shares her full name, kid’s names, photos. I’m sure she’s got some kind of protection that’s available to anyone.
It’s scary to think about what to put on a blog, but it’s also ridiculously easy to find out information about ANYONE. I try not to sweat it too much. Plus, it kind of irritates me when I go to a blog and they have code names and little nicknames for everyone. To me it comes across as hiding and, as I think many of us are, a lot of blogging is to share honestly.
.-= Blahggy.com´s last blog ..My Second Impression: Left to My Husband =-.
I thought about Dooce when I was writing this and I’m not sure what “protection” she could possibly have as she is on the internet just like the rest of us. I know what you mean about google searches and the fact that anyone can pretty much find out what they want with just a few clicks – but why would I want to help “promote” that kind of thing on my blog – Which is why I don’t share my last name and as far as my kids go, I don’t “make up” names for them. They are son and daughter and I’m fine with that – thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone.
I don’t know what protection, either. I just like to think that there’s something out there that could help!
.-= Blahggy.com´s last blog ..My Second Impression: Left to My Husband =-.
I would like to think so, too – if you find out, let me know! lol
Oh boy, this is scary stuff, but then again, I’ve always thought the internet is scary. We are definitely putting ourselves out there and in reality, trying to be as safe as possible doesn’t make us less of a target. I don’t post anything personal on my blog, at least I hope I have not slipped.
p.s. How do you block the traffic coming to your blog?
I think that’s why this should be discussed and revisited periodically so we don’t forget – You block it through your hosting company.
Holy cow! That is scary! I’ve had some weird traffic before as well, and now I’m wondering if I should have looked into it deeper.
I worry mostly because I have my family blog on the same blogger account as my primary blog, and it is loaded with pics, names, info, etc. For that reason I don’t have a link on my blog to my blogger profile, just an about me page that I made myself. I’m sure, however, that a savvy enough hacker could get to it pretty easily, though. Now I’m thinking I should separate the two…
On my primary blog, I don’t use names, rarely post pictures, and while I do tell personal stories, I leave out the identifying details. Hopefully that’s enough to keep my privacy safe…
.-= Krystal´s last blog ..Connecting with Your Roots =-.
Wow . . . I read this early today and didn’t have time to comment then – but it has been on my mind all day. When I started blogging, I set rules for myself that I have always followed – I do not use my last name, do not name the actual town I live in, and do not include any photos or names of people who are not within my immediate family (unless I’ve received their ok to do so.) I also would not post photos of the outside of my home, or really too many photos of the inside of my home. I was cautious. Now I have become more relaxed, although am still reminded of how global this whole outlet is (and have received some of those comments as you described once or twice.)
Yet, I have met some absolutely WONDERFUL people through my blog – and I tend to look at the whole thing through rose colored glasses. It might not be the safest way to look at it, and I am concerned. . . your post really has me thinking of it even more.
.-= Leanne´s last blog ..It always ends with Love =-.
Leanne – I don’t mean to scare you, but if I did make you reflect on your own practices and what YOU are comfortble with – than I am glad because the intent to write this post was to begin the dialogue…And in this bloggy world we live and LOVE, this is something that should always remain in the back of our minds before we hit publish.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.
No worries, at all – and I really thank YOU so much for writing this post today. I have often thought about this and was so glad when reading your words . . . I was eager to read other replies, too.
I am so grateful for this community at TMC and thank YOU for starting it for all of us! : )
.-= Leanne´s last blog ..It always ends with Love =-.
I struggled with this for awhile. Do I used full names? What about my kids? At first, I didn’t post picture of them. I do now, but I still use initials for the kids. However, my last name is very uncommon, and I wanted to include some of my non-blog writing on my site so I gave up on my anonymity and then I broke my husbands on my first vlog (which he approved of BEFORE I posted it).
Today, I did have someone cut and paste my blog to theirs without giving any credit to me (I found out because they cut and pasted “related posts” so I got a pingback), which made me realize that I need to add a watermark to my pictures. And just like you, be aware that this is the Internet.
.-= Alex´s last blog ..Arizona, You Missed An Opportunity =-.
Alex – I am totally disgusted right now that someone plagiarized your work – copy and paste without and reference? I don’t get it! If bloggers cannot create their OWN content, they SHOULD NOT be blogging. Ugh – gross, sorry that happened to you – just another reason to be aware of our bloggy surroundings.
I know this doesn’t have much to do with this post, but I couldn’t find your e-mail so I just wanted to let you know I featured one of your giveaways in a post.
http://beesgobuzzz.blogspot.com/2010/04/neat-giveaway-links.html
thank you!
I hate to read these kinds of things. I take tonnes of pictures of my children and they are an integral part of my blog. I have always had a niggly at the back of my head though and it makes me wonder if what I’m doing is OK. How does one block searches from China? I would love to know?
Dana
.-= Bungalow’56´s last blog ..Day Parole at Bungalow’56….Let’s Talk =-.
Since your blog is on Blogger which is owned by Google, I don’t know how you would block traffic since you are do not own the domain. I am self-hosted, so I am able to block any kind of traffic through my hosting company…
Thanks Theta Mom, maybe it’s time to change that.
Dana
.-= Bungalow’56´s last blog ..Day Parole at Bungalow’56….Let’s Talk =-.
Wow, that is creepy!
I did think a lot about this when I started my blog. I chose to share my kids first names and photos. I never mention last names or where my husband works. When referring to where I live, I only give a general location. There are some things I want to keep personal!
First of all, I’d like to say how outraged I am that people are hacking into mummy blogs!
I had to removed two bogus folders from my hosting site a couple of months ago, after my hosting company advised me of a breach in my terms and conditions re spam/malicious code. I was mortified that somone had hacked into my account and set up two dodgy sites under the umbrella of my main blog account.
When starting my mummy blog over a year ago, I debated whether or not to use my children’s names and photos. I avoid using their names, but do publish watermarked photos. I also keep my home location pretty vague. However, my full name is widely known. Indeed my surname is in my URL title. In hindsight (a wonderful thing!) I maybe should not have done this.
I think the physical risks to myself or my family are extremely low, but the risks to the integrity of my site, and my online reputation are much much higher.
Interstingly, I know that I have some visitors from Asia by examining my visitor maps and stats. I will consider blocking certain countries if need be.
.-= MammaKerr´s last blog ..(Almost) Wordless Wednesday – Fairy Princess Mamma =-.
MammaKerr – Yes, they need to leave us alone! Sorry to hear that happened to you but it reinforces the idea that we must remain on top of this sort of thing – it’s prevelent in the blogspohere, we are not immune to it and it’s something that will always coexist. Thanks for sharing your comment here with us!
Oh my gosh! I post often and it’s so hard where to draw the line as far as my daughter and family. My blog is about her afterall, so I write her name and post her pictures. If my blog were to get really BIG or something, I may reevaluate… It’s so sad there are awful people out there that we have to be careful about. I started out not writing her name, but it just got weird writing R all the time.
You’re so right though. It’s not always easy to remember that everything we add to our blog can be seen by ANYONE. The people we do want and unfortunately, the people we DON’T want.
.-= christine´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Finally A Good Reason To Play With Sophie, My Tooth! =-.
Oh, and I didn’t read all of the responses, but do you have a source for watermarking? Perhaps I should do that. Not that it would stop the worst kind of people.
Thanks! I suppose I could just google…
.-= christine´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Finally A Good Reason To Play With Sophie, My Tooth! =-.
Christine – I use http://www.picnik.com and it’s free to add text to any photo you upload.
Thank you so much for writing posts like this one! They are incredibly helpful and make us all think. When I started blogging, I made the decision to never post pictures of my children or use their names. I just knew it was the right thing for our family. This post has just confirmed my decision!
.-= Erin @ Closing Time´s last blog ..Sneak Peek… =-.
Erin – It’s a topic that I think needs to be revisited peridoically, as we are part of an evolving and ever-so-changing process. Certainly good food for thought and if I made each of you who read this post think about what it means to you (which sounds like what happened for you as you read this) then it was so well worth beginning the dialogue…
Thanks for sharing!
Im a little late on this post. From my experience, aside from hackers, if people want to find you, they will. Ive had a stalker for years who never caused me any harm but always lurked. She somehow found my facebook, which was completely private, I never posted pics or anything….then she found my blog! So after that I was like forget it! There are still certain things I wont post…but Ive stopped being super careful because she still found me! I hope you found what works for you and that all that nonsense has stopped!
Well now you’ve done it. I had been considering taking my kids names out of my blog for a while and now I am sure of it. Let me do it now before I have to go edit over a year of posts. This is gonna take a while…
.-= Mommy To Two Boys´s last blog ..Autism Mom’s Group =-.
This is super scary to me, especially since I know nothing about how to block IP addresses or any of the fancy footwork you mention.
I mention first names only on my blog, but never hubs’ first name after an incident a while back. I have often considered switching to just the first letters of the girls’ names or something…
It is really creepy and makes me uncomfortable. My blog is MY space. And why are there such awful people out there trying to screw with innocents?
.-= Erin´s last blog ..Bringing Mom Sexy Back with The Mommyologist (No Leotard Required) =-.
ugh. I blog under my real name and my kids names and post pictures. It took me a long time to decide to do that. This is why I do it:
1. I run a local website for moms in my town and decided I needed to stand behind what I wrote and promote.
2. If I was a newspaper columnist or editor for a parenting magazine I wouldn’t think twice about writing under my own name and using my kids names.
3. I am in complete control over the information I publish on my websites. People only know about me what I decide to put out there.
4. I filter my writing through what I want my mom to read since she is my most loyal reader.
That was my decision, but I totally understand other people NOT choosing that. It is just a tough world out there…both online and off.
This is my biggest issue with blogging. I am a private person…so I ask myself why am I blogging. Well, I love it. But, I am not all that crazy about exposing myself or my family to the entire world. I keep my blog anonymous. I do not use names or pictures. I recently started blogging for my local newspaper. In this I cannot be anonymous. My name, my picture are there for the world to see. And, being it is a local newspaper….well, kind of tells where I live in a way. This has been very scary for me. I still am not sure I fell 100 percent good about this. But, I like to think there is a professional way of blogging. There are a lot of well-known people out there for the world to see. Look at newspaper writers for example. They more than likely live in the town they are writing for. I guess blogging is a medium that can get quite personal and that is where we run into glitches, but I am hoping to do this the right way (if there is one).
Yeah, so, I blog under my real name. My whole name. And I’ve been using first names of family. And it scares the crap out of me. But it’s how everyone knows me, so I don’t know what to do about it.
It’s a conundrum for sure.
.-= amber´s last blog ..Proof That Food is Love. =-.
Great post, horrible news about the traffic though. I must admit I am pretty strict about what I publish with regards to our private live, however I do sometimes publish pics of the children and recently while looking at my stats I found a blog in Italy that used the picture of my daughter in her post…I was mortified, and immediately contacted her and put a statement on my blog.
I hope it is sorted out for you soon.
Housewife Bliss – Why anyone thinks it’s ok to plagiarize or steal photos from another blog is beyond me – that’s crazy! Sorry to hear you had to deal with that. Yes, as for me, I’ve come to some resolution and I am comfortable with those decisions.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience.
That is too freaky. I don’t even know how to check that…. Great I am so freaked out now LOL.. I learn something everyday.
I am stopping by to say hello I have been working full time. I leave to work in the dark and come home in the dark. I miss the girls. The teens could care less LOL… they are like cool you got money now.. so can I go to the movies?
I hope you have been having a great week.
.-= Grissell´s last blog ..Finding the self confidence within ME…… sometimes is hard but I think I am getting there =-.
WOW! Thanks for letting us all know. This is super scary! It is a different thing but I had my bank account hacked in from China. This is something that we all need to know about so thanks!
PS Love your blog!
.-= Stacey Goodrich´s last blog ..Ahhh the end or the start of a new week? =-.
What a great topic. How I keep it all straight is this:
Facebook is personal. I had that going long before I ever started blogging and I’m only friends with actual friends, family and coworkers. I have pictures galore of my family posted over there with the privacy settings in place. I have only become friends with a few fellow bloggers who I really connected with and would actually consider to be friends. For my blog, I created a page on Facebook to connect with readers. I’m sure if someone poured through the fan list, they could easily figure out who I am, but without me friending them, they wouldn’t get very far.
Twitter is for blogging. That is where I connect with anyone and everyone and I have so much fun doing it! I actually used to have my full name on my account, but I changed that a while back. Now you can see that my name is Carolyn, but that’s about it.
And for my blog….I’m going to start watermarking any personal pictures – thanks, that’s a fab idea. I do have a few pictures posted of myself and my family. I do use our names (not our full names, but our first names). I am open about my country, but not my city or even my province of residence. I do say what my profession is but not my employer. I guess you could say that I’m cautious without being scared. I hope no one ever really finds a reason to come and find me. I mean really, the only people who ever get offended by my posts already know where I live. 😉
Again, great topic for discussion!
.-= The Grown-Up Child´s last blog ..How to Prepare For, Survive and Enjoy Extended Non Custodial Visits =-.
Thanks for sharing this, it’s an important point to make. It’s something I’ve tought about a few times. You start out thinking only a few people will read your blog (if any!) but then you’ve grown into a large blog with a new community. It’s something which everyone has their own personal opinions on and I think everyone has to make their own decision regarding.
Looking at your stats can be very revealing, sometimes it’s amusing what google sends to you and sometimes it’s concerning. I touched on that in my post today although it’s on a more lighter note.
I hope you get everything sorted out soon with regards the China hacker or whatever.
Have a lovely day,
Jade
.-= Jade @ No Longer 25´s last blog ..A Googlable 1 Year Blogiversary =-.
Thanks so much for your comment Jade and yes, luckily the China situation has been resolved. However, that experience actually spurred me to write this post. And you’re right, I also started out just like any other blogger and my blog has grown immensly over the last few months, which truly made me wonder about how much is “too much.” I am comforted to know so many of you feel this way at some point or another and finding the right “balance” is key. I am slowly finding that space now…thanks so much for sharing.
Very thought-provoking stuff. I have nicknames for my son and boyfriend and have not posted any pictures. I thought about it but just want a place where I let the words have the stage. But I’ll admit, it was privacy that mainly influenced that decision. I have had my old blog words come back to bite me in the a$$ and I did not want to have that happen again. It’s a fine line. I want to share and connect but I also want to try to keep the identifying information out. Great topic. Very timely.
.-= Wendy´s last blog ..The Rugelach Rodeo =-.
Ok this post really freaked me out! i mean i’m not as naive to think that there are those ‘crazy’ ppl in the world….i guess i just like to think in my little bubble they aren’t there.
sadly my blog started off for my family who lived out of town to keep up w/us…now i’m setting myself up…
makes you feel at times you can’t even blog anymore b/c heaven forbid we say the wrong thing or give too much info and boom…
thanks for posting…i’m now seriously wigged out……like the time my hubby cut his finger and his ‘meat’ was sticking out and he showed me…i had nightmares for days…this adds to the nightmare …but on a diff level!
;o)
.-= Laura Scott´s last blog ..Like Mother Like Daughter… =-.
Wow… you have got me thinking more…
I started my blog over a year ago and didn’t think much about hackers and spammers because who wants to hack ME? But now I know better. With any blog traffic comes crazies…
I put our first names on the blog, and I don’t hide what town I live in, but that’s where I draw the line. I never post about when my husband is out of town, or where my kids go to school. I am also careful about what pictures I post.
I have just started getting freaked out about all of this stuff lately! I have no idea what my plan is!
I just found your blog and am now a follower. I read this post and it was a real eye opener. I’m a very new to blogging but I try to learn everything I can (even about subjects we don’t want to think about). Due to time restraints I haven’t been able to read all of the comments, but I still wanted to take the time to share. I believe it has to do with blogger responsibility, just like a mother’s responsibility, to find that balance of sharing/connecting but not being naive. There is a way to be open, honest, vulnerable, & to share but still being reserved about the details we do display for the world to see. Thank you for this post.