As a mother, I believe we are born with an extra sense. It’s the feeling you get when something just isn’t right. It’s when you know there may be danger ahead or your inner core screams that there has to be something more for which I feel compelled to share this with you…
Beginning when my son was about nine-months old we saw every specialist over the course of a year and not one doctor could tell us what was wrong with our child. At one point, after visit upon visit and test upon test, we were supposed to just sit back and wait for more blank results because they couldn’t give us a definitive answer. Nothing was conclusive.
This is when I began to educate myself. I stayed up late at night researching the new vocabulary that became an instant part of my everyday language. I needed to acknowledge the magnitude of what was taking place in my son’s little body and I needed the power of knowledge to help me through the times of uncertainty, especially when I was drowning in a sea of fear.
The bottom line is that we need to ask the right questions. We need to get the proper information and we need to seek out the help we are requesting and fight for our children until we are satisfied because if we don’t, nobody else will. You deserve it, your family deserves it, and your child sure as hell deserves it.
My son is now a healthy, thriving four year-old boy due in part to what I believe was following my intuition which ultimately lead my son to CHOP (Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia) to get some concrete answers.
I decided to share this because I truly believe my words just helped another parent who connected to this experience. I know there is at least one reader out there who totally understands what I’ve gone through and he/she may be still in the midst of this battle right now.
So if this post encourages even just one other parent to continue to fight for answers and to follow their intuition to get some sort of resolution, then this was well worth publishing.
Because knowledge is power – and if you don’t fight for your child, then who else will?
Thanks so much – I’m new to this Mommy game and as a first timer I’m learning so much about my instincts. At times I feel like I might be a little paranoid because of the “something just isn’t quite right” feelings that I have. I had no idea how protective I could feel until I became a mother … I appreciate you sharing that it’s OK not to settle for answers that just don’t make sense to you and to press on in finding the right information.
Thanks Again!
Great post Heather. I had a similar experience recently. I listened to my “Mommy gut” and possibly avoided a huge disaster. I say “possibly” because I need to do that to keep my mind from dwelling on “what could have happened”. The short story is I dropped our 4 y.o off at daycare one Monday a.m. The second I walked in, I smelled gas..BAD. My daycare lady swore she smelled nothing and argued to the point I started second guessing myself. My Mommy Gut said “leave now”. So I did. I called back to daycare and told her to get out of the house (no other kids were due to arrive for 2 hours) and call the gas company. She did. there was a gas leak. A big one. To the point the gas company said “we are surprised you didnt pass out or blow yourself up”. I am proud I stuck to my guns. Even prouder I typed this whole thing w/o bawling. Listen to your intuition Mommies. It will rarely steer you wrong. Thanks for the inspiring post Heather.
Thank you so much Angie – and Frantic Mommy, you followed your intuition and it was RIGHT. Thanks so much for sharing that!
I totally agree with this one. Keep searching for the answer, because as a mother you just know.
Thank you for posting this! We took our daughter into the doctor for some sleep issues (I firmly believed she was having sleep apnea) and got this I’m-the-doctor-you’re-just-a-mom speech. But, I was so persistent and demanding about seeing an ENT that they gave us a referral. Turns out… my daughter has apnea. Moms really do know a thing or two about their kids!
This post made my heart skip a beat! I am currently pregnant with my first child and I can only IMAGINE the fear and restlessness associated with feeling like the professionals aren’t getting all the answers! Thanks for this post. It is a reminder that we all must be advocates for our own health and most importantly, for our children.
You are a wonderful mother!
I totally agree. This is similar to how I felt after receiving the news that my amnio results showed a fetus that was going to be abnormally developed and would not survive more than a few weeks after delivery. I did exactly as you said, questioned, researched and finally with the deadline of being able to abort fast approaching, went with my own intuition and continued the pregnancy based on the fact that my ultrasounds had been perfect. My intuition and those ultrasounds were right. My baby was born healthy. Thank God I did not listen to those Specialists! Thanks for sharing your story.
Forgot my twitter
You are SOOOO right! It can be daunting to speak up, especially if you’re question medical professionals, but soooo worth it for your child. And any doctor worth going to will welcome your questions and concerns and thoroughly consider them. After all, you know your child better than they do! And CHOP is an AWESOME hospital!
Great post. I know that God gave us our intuition for good reason. We are the nuturing ones in the home and we have to be able to sense when things are wrong. Eve didn’t have specialists, she had to just know when something was wrong with her children and take proper steps to make it right. Same with us. Many times professionals want to downplay our intuitions but we need to keep pushing through until we find answers. Thanks for writing and encouraging moms.
Ladies – Thank you so much for these comments and for sharing with me that you understand WE have the knowledge and power to fight for our children by following our natural instincts.
Good for you! My girlfriend’s son has Chiari Malformation and she has really educated herself and fought for her son the entire way. He is 3 1/2 yrs old and doing great but all because she never let anyone tell her “no”. Her son is also seen at Chop – which she can’t speak enough about!
God gave us the gift of intuition. It’s our job to listen and heed it.
I think that ‘going until you hear glass break’ helps relieve that sea of fear and in turns gives us a peace to handle our responsibilities- our children. You saw that, we are learning that and I think that we can never under estimate the power (instinct) that is within a (connective, engaged) mom.
At times being a (SAHM, WAHM) mom may appear ‘simple’ or underestimated but there is sooooo much more to it.
Thanks for sharing!!!
As mothers I feel we all know when we need to fight for our little ones–and our intuition is a gift.
Great post, hun! Loved it–and I love how we can all relate to one another.
Yes, I believe that we were all gifted with mommy intuition. You just know when something is not right with your child, whether he’s sick or something’s up at school or something’s wrong with his friends. It’s a gift; we just have to listen.
So very true!! My Buddy has major food allergies…more than the allergist has ever seen in a person, let alone a child. It took 2 years to get him diagnosed and that was only after I “stole” the reigns from his primary care doctor and did what I knew needed to be done.
And likewise, we are going through something with Buster right now, where no one can tell me what it really is that he’s experiencing. So after visiting two different specialists, we may be looking for a third. “I think” or “It might be” is not what I want to hear.
Yes, moms do seem to have some kind of sixth sense when it comes to our kids. Pretty amazing isn’t? I even know little things like that my boys are getting a cold a day or so before they start to sniffle. I’m glad you listened to your instincts. I think that’s one of the best pieces of advice one mom to can give to another. Always go with your gut feeling.
You are so right and thanks for sharing that. What you are saying is so vital because often times within the craziness of a family, you get so caught up in what you are doing day to day, or what doctors tell you or how they make you feel, like you are overly protective of just plain CRAZY!!
Don’t listen, follow your instinct at all times. Thanks for that.
Sadie at heyMamas
I had a similar experience with my son and thankfully I trusted my intuition and took him to the Children’s Hospital to find out that he wasn’t just a little sick as we had been told, he had full blown pneumonia. Mother’s intuition is a gift and a blessing. So glad you got answers and help with your sweet son.
Heather you are right on with this one and thanks to all the ladies who are sharing their stories! I questioned a younger pediatrician when Sophia was only days old and he heard a murmur in her heart, made a strange face, and then said 50% of babies can have some small murmur when they are born. His facial expression did not sit right with that statement. I asked to see another pediatrician just to make sure. The more senior pediatrician came in and said Sophia’t murmur was severe and sent us directly to the cardiologist, where the full u/s of her heart revealed many tiny holes in a congenital heart condition called VSD. We are lucky and it has not caused her problems but still – it is something that could have been a risk to her life. We still have to get regular full cardiology check-ups because the holes did not close as they hoped.
Also, my own doctors were suggesting that with low amniotic fluid and a breech baby I would have to have a C-section for Violet (born in Jan) but much research showed that I would have a good chance for the OB to be able to flip the baby. My OB agreed to try the procedure after I questioned her about it and it worked. I was able to avoid surgery!
Trust your mommy instints! And do your own research! Thanks Heather!
So true! When my oldest was 5 months old we were in and out of the ER for a solid week, they kept saying she just had a virus come to find out she had gastroenteritis and severe dehydration and had to be hospitalized for 3 days. Then just recently when my youngest was just shy of a year old she caught H1N1, they gave her the shot to get rid of it and she began getting better but 2 days later she got worse I took her in and they said oh she still has the flu come to find out she had Pnuemonia.
You always have to go with your instinct, you could be wrong but its better if your wrong and knowing it then something seriously being wrong with your child.
Kathy and Brittany – Thank you so much for sharing your stories. It’s amazing how our instincts usually never lead us in the wrong direction. We ARE the best advocates for our children.
My son had terrible eczema. After allergists and other appointments, I decided to do some researching and took some things into my own hands. After eliminating nitrates, certain food colors, and preservatives his skin cleared up. At a follow up appointment the Dr. was amazed at his skin. I proceeded to tell her all the things I had done and she looked at me like I was crazy. If she really thinks that turning his clothes inside out (her suggestion) is what did this, then she’s the crazy one.
Yes, that inner voice we have – and everyone does have it – is so important. I think it gets magnified when we have kids which is a really good thing.
WOW. I am so happy that you followed your intuition and that your little boy is ok! Mother’s intuition is amazing. Thank you for reminding me to pay attention to it!!
I was JUST crafting a post on this topic. I have been fighting an outside influence on my what is best for my son and our family on everything from haircuts to baptism and have gone against my instincts a few times because of it, only later to wish I had listened to that little voice inside. I’m trying to overcome this influence and just go with my gut. I’m glad to hear your little man is doing well!
So true! We are the only ones our kids have to fight for them!
Awesome post Heather! So true! Mother’s intuition is the natural gift every mother has. All we need to do is, to trust our invoices and add our own research. Thanks for sharing this!
Mother’s intuition is like God tapping on your shoulder.
Yes! My daughter was born with sagittal craniosynostosis that could have caused severe mental retardation had she not had surgery but the doctors kept telling us she was fine. I saw 5 doctors over a 3 year period before I was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer. We *know* when something is wrong, even if we can’t identify what the something is. Way to go on pushing forward and advocating for your son.
As the mom of five boys I tell every mommy to always, always, always go with your gut.
It is like the feeling you get when you just know you are forgetting something. And come to find out, oh yea, I am forgetting ______.
If the gut feeling is there, it is there for a reason!
So true! One of my kids had some disabilities at birth, no one really had any answers for me, keep fighting, always, especially for the sake of the kids!
Nothing replaces good old fashioned mothers intuition! My youngest contracted pertusis at 6 weeks old (something that is hard to diagnose if the child dose not cough at the right moment!) and if I had not pushed and asked lots of questions, there is a good chance we would have lost him. I even had on ER doctor tell me I was just a “nervous nilly mother”! Our pediatrician ended up catching it after two ERs had failed to.
You are so very right with our motherly inution. The other night I woke straight up out of my sleep (3 o’clock in the morning) to check on my 5 year old daughter who had a 105.1 fever and was having a seizure. Don’t second guess it, you are usually right on point when it comes to your children!
Ladies – Thank you SO MUCH for sharing these stories. As mothers, we should never not listen to this intuition. I agree, we have it for a reason!
Excellent post, Heather! A wonderful reminder to all moms everywhere.
I like to think that I have a motherly intuition about other things too, in addition to illness. Like when they need to sleep or play alone or stop whining.
It is a gift we all possess. 😉
So true! I knew something was wrong with my son. Mother’s and teacher’s intuition there! And the early intervention we got him has been nothing short of a miracle. Without the therapy he has received I wonder if he would still be non verbal and would not be near as socially and emotionally on his way as he is now.
I am no stranger to the parenting sixth sense. This is how my son started receiving special education services much earlier then he would have if I had not followed my gut. He’s come a long way because of it!
I know so many moms, myself included, that needed to push when they knew something more was going on. It is scary how easily some doctors will poo-poo what you’re saying.
This is absolutely true! Every OB, L&D nurse and pediatrician should tell new parents from the beginning, to GO WITH YOUR GUT-ALWAYS, and educate yourself-YOU ARE YOUR CHILD’S BEST ADVOCATE.
My children have heart problems, autism, asthma, and seizure activity. Going with my gut AND educating myself has never failed me.
It’s SO true…. I always follow my heart and gut. I don’t care what anyone tells me, because I believe that we (Mothers) know what is best for our children, over anyone else. I always try to remind myself, that I am the only one who will protect my baby. Thanks for sharing this with us.
You know what mama…if only more people would listen to our mama voice and intuition. We are generally dead on when it comes to our gut feeling. I always trust my gut, despite what my emotions or logic may be saying I always trust my gut.
I never shut out that voice of intuition. It never fails me.
I’m so glad you posted this!!!
You are SO right! Mothers intuition is a REAL thing and it’s inexplicable how intense it can be when you just know SOMETHING ISN’T RIGHT! I’m so glad you listened to yours and didn’t give into the doctors when they just didn’t know! Mother knows best!
You are very right! We must be our own advocates and unfortunately sometimes we have to fight to be heard.
I have friends who have had wonderful experiences with CHOP. I myself just pray I am never in need of their services!
You are so right! When my 10 year old son was a baby, he was throwing up constantly. I was told by my pediatrician that he would “grow out of it” and was treated like I was being hysterical. I knew it wasn’t normal. One day, he was so sick and I finally just called another pediatrician and begged to be seen. He immediately validated my concerns and within two weeks my son was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. Not the diagnosis we wanted, but at least we knew what we were dealing with then and could start to give him what he needed. A lot of ground was lost though during that time and it took months of therapy to help him catch up developmentally. Moms do know best! ;0)
I completely understand. When my daughter was born she was born prematurely. (Though, at 35 weeks, she was an 8lb 7oz preemie!!) Even with her weight, she was still considered a preemie and had complications as any preemie would. Her sucking reflex was non existent. She wasn’t able to suck on a bottle to drink at all. So they had to insert a gastro tube. To make a long story short (I feel inspired to post this on my blog now! LOL) My daughter ended up having reflux, but no doctor even could tell me what it was in the beginning. I am the one who pushed them to do tests for reflux and thank God I had or she would have been in the hospital longer!! Definitely mother’s intuition and definitely shows that mothers know best.
Thank you for sharing a great story and writing a great post. I am sure there are alot of parents unsure what to do but after reading your post will have more direction.
Amen! I could not agree more! I have found myself questioning doctors in the past. After my son ended up in the hosital because the doctor ignored my concerns, I learned to always follow my gut and never give in!