As a mother, I believe we are born with an extra sense. It’s the feeling you get when something just isn’t right. It’s when you know there may be danger ahead or your inner core screams that there has to be something more for which I feel compelled to share this with you…
Beginning when my son was about nine-months old we saw every specialist over the course of a year and not one doctor could tell us what was wrong with our child. At one point, after visit upon visit and test upon test, we were supposed to just sit back and wait for more blank results because they couldn’t give us a definitive answer. Nothing was conclusive.
This is when I began to educate myself. I stayed up late at night researching the new vocabulary that became an instant part of my everyday language. I needed to acknowledge the magnitude of what was taking place in my son’s little body and I needed the power of knowledge to help me through the times of uncertainty, especially when I was drowning in a sea of fear.
The bottom line is that we need to ask the right questions. We need to get the proper information and we need to seek out the help we are requesting and fight for our children until we are satisfied because if we don’t, nobody else will. You deserve it, your family deserves it, and your child sure as hell deserves it.
My son is now a healthy, thriving four year-old boy due in part to what I believe was following my intuition which ultimately lead my son to CHOP (Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia) to get some concrete answers.
I decided to share this because I truly believe my words just helped another parent who connected to this experience. I know there is at least one reader out there who totally understands what I’ve gone through and he/she may be still in the midst of this battle right now.
So if this post encourages even just one other parent to continue to fight for answers and to follow their intuition to get some sort of resolution, then this was well worth publishing.
Because knowledge is power – and if you don’t fight for your child, then who else will?
Heather – you are soo right! My son coded, literally, from anaphylactic shock at 13 mos. That was 4 1/2 years ago, back when there wasn’t much research.
Someone once said to me, “We are our children’s ONLY voice”. Especially before they’re able to communicate effectively. That sentence struck a chord in me, and is so profound…
Thanks for sharing this; I’m sure many women/moms WILL benefit!
YES! You are your child’s best advocate. I had to fight for 5 LONG years, and finally take my son out of our network of insurance paid providers to where I knew they could help us. At 8 we are finally starting to get the help we need with him. Our youngest now 3, is having some food issues, and once again I have to be *that* mom. I HATE the constraints and snail’s pace at which the military health system moves. What’s really frustrating is I know if we were still seeing civilian doctors we’d have answers by now. Who knows, I may tell them to shove it and take him out of network as well to get him what he needs. We’ll see how they perform in the time frame I have in mind.
So true. You have to be your child’s fighter be it the health-care system or the education system. You not only have to ask the right questions, you need to be persistent until you get the answers and the solutions that work for you.
I am happy to read your son is healthy.
LisaDay
Ladies – Each of you shared your own experiences and/or thoughts on this and it is so clear that as parents, WE are our children’s best advocates. Thank you for sharing your voice!
Heather, you are so right. It is imperative that we fight for our kids. We are their voice, their advocates, their fighters. It is our responsibility to be sure they receive the best care and best results- even if we have to get them ourselves. Thank you for sharing this, and thank you to everyone else for sharing the importance of speaking up for your child. It is so true.
I had goosebumps reading this post. You are right, we are our children’s best advocates. We should never doubt ourselves when it comes to our children’s health.
My daughter was 4 months, she was fussy and I thought she night be teething but I had the feeling that something wasn’t right. It turned out that the pediatrician heard a loud heart murmur. It turned out that she had a heart defect that wasn’t always detectable at birth. The same day we saw a ped. cardiologist we were sent to CHOP and she had surgery the next morning. She is now a totally healthy 2 year old. I have never met more caring,dedicated professionals as those at CHOP.
Joy – I couldn’t agree more. CHOP is an amazing place and is rated #1 in pediatrics in the nation – and having been there, I’m sure you know why.
So funny you should post this now…I have thought for some time that Julia has something going on….she goes through this crazy bouts of yawning…I told the doctor and they sent me to an ENT…not after rolling their eyes at me…they found nothing. So, I let it go…now today before I put her to sleep she starts crying because she keeps yawning and she said she doesn’t want to yawn anymore…I hate to feel crazy like I WANT the doctor’s to find something wrong with my daughter, but I think there’s something there…now I just need to find someone to listen to me.
Hello!
We are already followers of your blog but wanted to stop by to check out what was new and to say hi! Hope everything is going well for you. Have a fabulous day! <3
New follower this Friday.
I couldn’t agree with you more!!! I truly do believe that every single mother has a “sixth sense” about their kid! My mom did the same for me when i was growing up! She fought for answers and I will do the same for my son 😉
Have a good weekend!
I, too, had to fight for my little boy. I got so many looks like I was crazy, like I was imagining that he stopped breathing every night, but thank goodness I kept pushing because who knows how many more nights he could have gone before he didn’t wake up.
Following from Friday Follower
This is so true, I need to remember this when I take Ian to the doctor.
So true. I learned the hard way and still feel guilty for not following my instincts. After allowing the drs to do surgery on my son he had a stroke due to a misdiagnosis. Every day I wish I had listened to my gut. Now I just make sure I am the loudest advocate he can have.
Thanks for sharing! I am a new follower from FFF @ MBC
Hello from a new follower visiting from FFF @ MBC
You are so right, when you have a gut feeling do what you need to do!
Thank you for this post.
Moms know best, there is no doubt. Though, aren’t we often our own worst critics? Don’t we question ourselves, and worry that we might be wrong far to often? We need to find power in the knowledge that our intution is often right, and go with it. No one knows our children like we do. Great post!
Christine – I totally agree, although we may over analyze and worry ourselves to pieces, we always know when to really follow our intuition!
I totally agree! You know your child better than ANY doctor, teacher or specialist…and if anyone is gonna know if something is “off” – it’s gonna be a mother. Never give in if you believe your child needs help…not matter how big or small. From an ingrown toenail – to god forbid – an illness. Mom knows best!
This is so true! Lexie had diarrhea for 9 straight months last year. The first thing I asked for when we saw a specialist, was to have her allergy tested. After months of scaring us by testing her for serious diseases, and doing tons of blood work, it turned out she had an egg allergy. All of this could have been solved with an allergy test that I repeatedly asked for.
I so agree with you on this. My husband and I are the same way. But I *hate* not having answers. I’m a ‘digger’ by nature. I remember once our son was sick and I did the exact same thing. I had a differential diagnosis and I would challenge each doctor we saw until we finally got one that knew what was going on.
But I’m lucky because my husband is a registered nurse. This helps lend us a level of credibility to doctors that I know isn’t offered to everyone. Often, as soon as you bring up your internet research to a doctor, you will get an eye roll and an assumption that you don’t actually *know* anything.
.-= The Grown-Up Child´s last blog ..At the Hands of Fate =-.