When I first started blogging I never knew how much pure joy I would receive from it. I also never realized how addictive it would be on so many levels. When I began to receive a few comments on my initial posts it was exciting to realize that someone actually read my blog and took the time to respond. As bloggers, we love comments because it’s validation that what we write has some kind of impact on others.
Needless to say I never imagined that blogging would be so time consuming and yet in the same breath, so rewarding. Through your own writing I feel as though I have “met” many of you. I have learned about your families, your children, your lives, as well as your hopes, dreams and aspirations because I read about it on your blogs. I know about your failures and fears because you share this as well. And when all is said and done this is the true essence of blogging, connecting with the very community that reads your blog.
Having said that, in the last few months my blog has grown immensely. I initially started out with a handful of readers and watched this blog grow more than I would have ever expected in such a short time. And for awhile, I was able to keep up with it all. I did a pretty damn good job visiting all of the blogs that paid a visit to mine, responded to a ton of comments daily, emailed bloggers, chatted at length on Facebook as well as on Twitter. But I have to be honest keeping up this pace amidst such blog growth has since become a challenge.
My bottom line is that my family comes first. My career (the one that puts food on the table) comes second. Without my job, I would not be able to stay at home with my kids. These two things will always come before this blog. I do most of my blogging in the early morning and in the evening when the kids are asleep. However, I found myself getting up earlier and earlier and staying up later and later and even began commenting on blogs during the day when my baby girl was napping just to “keep up.” Quite frankly, this began to stress me out.
I can’t worry anymore if I am unable to return a comment because the one thing I have learned throughout this blogging experience is that followers may come and go, but real readership – those who adore your blog and are at the core of your blog that return time and time again are not commenting on your blog just to seek a comment in return. They are connecting to your writing and they will continue to return time and time again because they love your blog. Period.
For a moment, think of a popular blogger who has a huge following. Do these bloggers return every single comment on every single post? No. Do they connect and support their readership and continue the dialogue in other ways? Absolutely, which is why these blogs continue to thrive. I’ve written about how the power of social media helps to truly establish these connections and I firmly believe in this approach.
So with the time I do carve out for blogging, I will continue to support my readership, but it may not necessarily always be a blog visit and I have learned to let this go. Support may be shown in various ways such as through a follow, blog subscription, the retweet of a tweet on Twitter, a Stumble of a post on Stumble Upon, communication through an email exchange or a chat on Facebook. I will continue to support and connect with my readers through these mediums and continue to use social media because the bottom line is I can’t do it all.
Which brings me to my final point about the recent launch of TMC. I am so proud to have created a platform to bring such a fantastic group of women together. Bloggers who are just starting out now have another place to call home and veteran bloggers just added another resource to their repertoire and it’s all about networking.
I have been asked, “How do you have the time to do this and how do you manage to do it all?” My answer is simple: TMC runs itself. This community is a space for bloggers. You are the ones visiting this space to get yourself out there to network. Think of it like this: I provided you the fabulous house to party in and filled it with amazing décor, cocktails, music, food, and peeps, but now it’s up to YOU whether or not you mingle, network and have fun. TMC has it all there and the more active you are in this community, the more you will get out of it. So aside from the initial set-up and commitment to feature fabulous TMC bloggers weekly, TMC basically runs on its own.
So if you ever find yourself seeking the balance of your own blogging mojo, here is my advice for what it’s worth: At any point you feel stressed out about any aspect of blogging, whether it’s the writing, commenting, promoting or networking, take a step back and reflect on your experience and make some changes that fit you and your life. If I continued at the speed I was traveling recently, I would have easily landed in bloggy burnout. I’ve come to terms with the whole comment thing and I’m ok with it. This experience has shown me that I am human, that there are only so many hours in the day and that I do actually live a life outside of this blog. I had to find a balance that worked for me and luckily, I did.
And in the end, those who really read and visit me will still love Theta Mom and continue to support me – whether I am able to comment on a post or not.
And I’m ok with that.
Heather,I totally agree! Family comes first.Even though I love blogging.
Yes yes. Family first. It is hard not to get caught up in all the bloggy fun, but it can suck you in so fast and hard and it is NOT worth sacrificing sleep and other way more important priorities. As always, thank you for being transparent. I love your blog and will continue to follow even if the posts needs to slow down.
P.S. I’m so psyched that I won that Stoh Milkdot giveaway! What are the odds?!
I do not even expect a response back for a comment I leave. I leave a comment for the pure purpose of telling the blogger how I feel about their post. I am a very low need blog reader. I do agree though that blogging can be addictive. I need to be careful that I do not continue to miss sleep so that I can read blogs or tweet!! I am new to the bloggy world and am finding that their are so many wonderful mommas out there to connect woth. I just need to pace myself.
Thank you and well said!! I so needed to read that and it’s what I was thinking. I”m a new blogger and I had NO idea how time consuming it all could be…I miss my family but I’m trying to make it all balance..Thank you
Ladies – Thank you so much for your input and support. It’s so refreshing to know that other bloggers – whether you are just starting out or are considered a veteran blogger – have felt this way at some point. Balance is key for successful blogging, as I have come to learn.
Very well said and totally true.
Sadie at heyMamas
Good for you! It’s hard returning comments and sometimes, all you can do is get around to the ones you have time for. I agree, it’s readership that matters the most and those are the ones who will come back as long as the content is there!
Great post!
Wow, this post rings true Heather. I burned out badly at Thanksgiving that I couldn’t even look at it for over a month. I just felt so guilty all the time! Either I was neglecting my family or neglecting my readers. And most of all, I was neglecting myself! So I took that proverbial step back.
It felt great to write again once I came back, but I’ve been always on guard. Watching the balance and making sure that I’ve got my priorities in order.
I totally commend all you’ve done here. I’ve often been in awe of your networking capabilities and loyalty to your readers and this blog. I’ve even wondered sometimes when I’ve been up answering comments at midnight if you were up doing the same thing too! Funny. You probably were. 😉
Theta Mom,
I have a mere fraction of the followers you have and I am struggling to keep my balance!
By the way, I’ve been missing you! You know, I have been a follower of your blog since you made the ‘big move’, but for some reason your posts do not show up in my google reader. ??
Today I subscribed by email-now I know I’ll be able to keep up with you!
Oh man I totally feel ya on this! I went down to blogging only 3 days a week because it was taking so much time. On the off days I comment on blogs.. but I feel like it is taking so much time away from the family.
GURL I love your blog… even if I dont comment , I do check it out. I don’t comment on blogs to receive them back… I LOVE comments but sometimes it is OK.. because I know some read it and just dont comment or they are just busy..
IT is all good.
I might go to commenting only on weekends and concentrate on the off days doing things that need my attention. I have been sending my resumes out because I am going back into the medical field after 2 yrs….
Trying to focus LOL
have a great weekend!
I agree…since going back to work, I have found it extremely difficult to keep up with everything that goes along with blogging. But, I too have learned to let it go a touch. We all have to find balance in some way. Thanks again for the excellent post! It helps validate what I’ve been feeling lately. And it’s nice to know that even you (who I consider a popular blog with a HUGE following) has to let something go from time to time. 😉
I love your blog design! Found you on Friday Follow. I’m #412 http://www.crystalclearsavings.info Following you
I’m with you Theta Mom. I am a guilty person and am always worrying if I am commenting enough on other blogs and esp. those of the people who bless my blog with lots of comment love. But balancing bloggy life and family life is hard. And you are right. Family must come first. You’ve got your priorities straight and you are doing a great job with providing us bloggers with a beautiful community. Kudos to you!
I couldn’t agree with you more!! I am stress out and I don’t have near the following that you have! You are right about your family life should come first!! This blogging should be fun!!
I have been stressing and struggling with keeping up lately, and this post is something I hope everyone will read. Maybe people will lower their expectations. Maybe we can all start to relax a bit. I love my blog, too, but you are right—family and work and other things have to come first.
Wonderful post and something we can all learn from!
Your growth has been tremendous in a very short time. I try not to think of blogging as tit for tat, but I know there are a lot of people out there that do think of it that way.
Excellent, I totally agree. I’ve pulled back a bit here and there when I need to, and while I truly love the comments and commenting, I also like being me, ya know? Well said.
So true…
Someone needed to say it for all of us who are in the same boat…or cruise liner. I salute you!
Great advice and so true.
SITS Sharefest
This was perfect…needed to read this today!
Happy Saturday Sharefest!
thank you for your kind comment, i can definitely relate to your post. i so appreciate you taking the time to stop by. enjoy your weekend!
Happy Saturday Sharefest
btw – you have a new follower. =)
Good for you! It is so important to not only know what your priorities are but to honor and you are doing just that, so I applaud you.
I am still relatively new to blogging and I will definitely keep your pearls of wisdom in mind as my site grows. Continued success to you!
Kitara
I started feeling a little stressed with my blog recently, and I have no where near the followers you have! I too am taking some steps back…
It’s like you live in my brain! That is exactly what I went through! It is sooo hard to keep up with all of the wonderful people that comment, plus blogs you regularly read and on top of that organizing well written posts!
I think your joy comes out in your writing too!
I agree wholeheartedly. I found myself (for about half a minute) feeling the need to keep up with other bloggers with the whole social networking thing. This is way too stressful. Most of these bloggers are moms and moms have a lot of responsibilities, believe me, I know! Blogging is supposed to be fun, why stress yourself about it. I enjoy writing on my blog and that is the reason I am doing it. Not to be famous or make a ton of money. That is what I had to remind myself. So, if I don’t post one day, so be it. I cannot keep up with the whole social networking thing and am okay with that. I do however respond to all of my comments (although my blog isn’t as big as yours). This is because the reason I blog is to communicate with others and hear others opinions on the issues I talk about. I want conversation. And, I agree that the people who truly enjoy my blog, will read it. Those are the people I want to read it, not the people who just feel an obligation. I also read lots of blogs (find new ones everyday) and comment when there is something I want to say. I completely agree that no one should be stressing themselves out over a blog! We have way too many other things to stress about! Man, do we!
I love this post. Because I used to feel SO guilty when I would see other bloggers reply to my comments. I don’t have the time to do that every single time–but I’ve realized that it’s okay.
And the blog awards. I get honored…but they are SO time consuming.
So happy I’m not the only one who realizes that there must be a balance somewhere…you make me feel not so guilty anymore.
xo
What a great post. I never expect comments back just because I leave a comment on others posts. I think you are doing awsome and you should never let anything come between family!
I’ve just discovered your blog and I’m looking forward to reading more. It’s true, that the blogging world can be all-consuming. I’m fresh, just starting to notice successes on my own blog, even though I’ve been blogging for some time. It’s a wonderful feeling as you say to actually connect with others. What I particularly enjoy is reading the writing of others. Some of the best connections I’ve found have come through that reading. I’m trying to stick to following on a handful of blogs so that I can focus on those connections. I’m not sure it will work because the deeper I go, the more wonderful stuff I find!
You have exactly expressed the dilemma. Blogging brings us many friends and supporters, information and laughs, but it also takes time to genuinely connect. Family and community come first – as they will all through life. We have to find ways to maintain a balance – as you have so thoughtfully done.
I always love reading your blog even though I don’t always have time to comment!
new follower from MBC (FFF) my blog is http://showmemama.blogspot.com/
Latley life on the homefront is more hectic than usual but I still attempt to read and comment on other blogger’s posts as often as I can. I blog to express what’s on my mind at the time and to relieve the day to day stress than can occur. If a reader posts a comment it does put a smile on my face just to know they took the time to do so and is greatly appreciated.
You are doing a fantasitc job Heather showing all of us readers you appreciate us! Thank you for sharing with us everyday! ☺
I also read lots of blogs (find new ones everyday) and comment when there is something I want to say. I completely agree that no one should be stressing themselves out over a blog! We have way too many other things to stress about!
Thanks so much for this post! The comment issue is something I have struggled with from the beginning. The reality is that even with the smaller number of comments I receive, I can’t respond to them all. I’ve felt the guilt of that, worried about it, and tried to do better. But the truth is, I have a lot of other things on my plate, and my family has to come first. Reading your post was super encouraging and helped me feel better about this issue!
So funny you should post this now…I have thought for some time that Julia has something going on….she goes through this crazy bouts of yawning…I told the doctor and they sent me to an ENT…not after rolling their eyes at me…they found nothing. So, I let it go…now today before I put her to sleep she starts crying because she keeps yawning and she said she doesn’t want to yawn anymore…I hate to feel crazy like I WANT the doctor’s to find something wrong with my daughter, but I think there’s something there…now I just need to find someone to listen to me.
i think you are great. i love the posts you share. i think it is wonderful when you comment, but for some reason i know you are there even when you dont. We are all moms and sometiems we are reading and commenting to ourelves with a baby on our lap. We just dont have another hand to respond. But isnt tht the point of blogging anyway. To express yourself without the worry about what others think or have to say?
I just found your blog and am now following. Your post was spot on. Family has to come first. I just started blogging a few months ago. I cannot respond to every post, although I am flattered when someone leaves me something of significance.
I am 45-and I have lived through a lot, and that inspired me to start my KISS-Keep it Simple Sister blog. Being a mommy was a lot easier whne I started in 1995!
Just do what you can. That’s all anyone can do.
Hey there! I completely agree with everything you said in this post. I stay stressed out all the time because I can’t say hi to everyone I want to in a day. I do the best I can though. I hope that people understand that I still appreciate every visit I get. Thanks for reminding me it is okay not to be so worried if someone decides they need more from me than I can give. I have always said that my family will come first and that will always be true. Have a great weekend:)
I agree that the people who truly enjoy my blog, will read it. Those are the people I want to read it, not the people who just feel an obligation. I also read lots of blogs (find new ones everyday) and comment when there is something I want to say. I completely agree that no one should be stressing themselves out over a blog! We have way too many other things to stress about
This post could have been written with me in mind. I was experiencing exactly what you’re talking about, ‘bloggy burnout’, with all the effort of trying to keep up with my blog and others as well as manage my family’s expectations.
I’m in the process of a deep ‘spring clean’, not only of our living space but of my mental and emotional space, so I can get back on track and appreciate what I first loved about social blogging – the immediacy of connecting with ‘like minds’, feeling like I’m doing something useful and the sheer pleasure of writing. At the moment, anything else (followers, repeat commenters etc.) is really just gravy.
.-= Babes about Town´s last blog ..Making Cards 4 Cancer =-.
I burned out. I took a two month hiatus that made more people angry than I care to even think about, much less face, and coming back has been hard. People are mean. I have gotten nasty comments and all because I said I was done, then changed my mind. I’m a woman, and it is my right as one to change my mind, right?? Anyway…just wanted to share my perspective!!
.-= Lee´s last blog ..I don’t do Memes =-.
Thank you so, so much for drawing my attention to this post. You were right: it absolutely resonates with me and I feel very lucky to have read it at the precise moment when I’m starting to feel like something’s got to give (and I don’t want that something to be my sanity!).
Goodness, how did it take me so long to find you and your blog? I’m just lucky that you’ve come into my life now – and just in the nick of time, it seems!
Cheers to you!
.-= Kristen @ Motherese´s last blog ..Guilt Written =-.
Great post! You make a very valid point about stepping back and making changes that suit you.
PS – dropping by from “Now that I’m no Longer 25”
.-= The Only Girl´s last blog ..Why I’ll Never Buy Socks or Underwear Again =-.
I had to come over and reread this post- because it is something that I’m really struggling with lately, as my blog has been growing. It’s just impossible to keep up.
But, then I remember what is really important- my family. A year from now- heck, even a month from now- will someone remember that I took the time to return every visit/comment to their blog? Probably not. But, will my kids remember that I stepped away from the computer and played with them? Absolutely.
Shell,
I am so glad you did and I often find myself re-reading this post, reflecting on the very words that I wrote so many months ago. I struggle with this constantly. My blog grew what seemed to be overnight and it is *impossible* to keep up with it all, especially when you add in the time spent on Twitter, FB and even responding to emails… I have seen my traffic go up and down and what I’ve realized is I never want my kid to remember me sitting behind a computer – so if my comments are next to nothing, it doens’t matter because I have to remind myself that this is for *fun* and the moment it doesn’t feel like fun anymore, it’s time to re-read this post again! 😉
Thanks for leaving such an awesome comment and I hope this post helped in some way.
xo
Hi !
I was one of your very early readers and in those long ago early blogging days, you used to kindly visit me too… all the way in obscure Kiwi blogland.
Now look at you!
You are a master networkerand blog grower. I can only sit at a distance and gaze in awe at your followers list… wondering and scratching my head at how you American girls get such big numbers???!!!
I’ve koined SITS and Blogfrog, Top MomBlogs and Mom Bloggers Club… I’ve commented, signed up for twitter, made a facebook fan page… slowly slowly my follower numbers creep up one at a time…
I KNOW I have good content. I KNOW I connect with my readers and what I write encourages them and is a good ole read… cos they tell me.
And yet, with my hard-earned 281 google followers… I am struggling over with the very same thing yiou spoke of here. A bit of disillusionment combined with trying too hard??? And getting ADDICTED???
I just read a post my Shell at Things I can’t Say, where she quoted you and linked to this post and here I am.
Nodding my head at all that good sense.
Clapping my hands and shouting, “Amen sister! Preach it!”
You took the words right out of my mouth. thanks.
This was a great post and SO VERY TRUE. All of it.
xx
Never read this initially, and Shell called it out today.
Amen. I realized this myself over a month agao.
WIth over 500 followers, I could not keep up.
Could not. Now, I post 1 or 2x a week.
Growth has slowed down significantly, but I was dying.
Had to pull back.
And, now? It’s fun.
No more guilt about getting back to commenters.
I am only human, and I have a family.
Thanks Heather (and Shell) I needed to reread this… xoxoxox