When I first started blogging I never knew how much pure joy I would receive from it. I also never realized how addictive it would be on so many levels. When I began to receive a few comments on my initial posts it was exciting to realize that someone actually read my blog and took the time to respond. As bloggers, we love comments because it’s validation that what we write has some kind of impact on others.
Needless to say I never imagined that blogging would be so time consuming and yet in the same breath, so rewarding. Through your own writing I feel as though I have “met” many of you. I have learned about your families, your children, your lives, as well as your hopes, dreams and aspirations because I read about it on your blogs. I know about your failures and fears because you share this as well. And when all is said and done this is the true essence of blogging, connecting with the very community that reads your blog.
Having said that, in the last few months my blog has grown immensely. I initially started out with a handful of readers and watched this blog grow more than I would have ever expected in such a short time. And for awhile, I was able to keep up with it all. I did a pretty damn good job visiting all of the blogs that paid a visit to mine, responded to a ton of comments daily, emailed bloggers, chatted at length on Facebook as well as on Twitter. But I have to be honest keeping up this pace amidst such blog growth has since become a challenge.
My bottom line is that my family comes first. My career (the one that puts food on the table) comes second. Without my job, I would not be able to stay at home with my kids. These two things will always come before this blog. I do most of my blogging in the early morning and in the evening when the kids are asleep. However, I found myself getting up earlier and earlier and staying up later and later and even began commenting on blogs during the day when my baby girl was napping just to “keep up.” Quite frankly, this began to stress me out.
I can’t worry anymore if I am unable to return a comment because the one thing I have learned throughout this blogging experience is that followers may come and go, but real readership – those who adore your blog and are at the core of your blog that return time and time again are not commenting on your blog just to seek a comment in return. They are connecting to your writing and they will continue to return time and time again because they love your blog. Period.
For a moment, think of a popular blogger who has a huge following. Do these bloggers return every single comment on every single post? No. Do they connect and support their readership and continue the dialogue in other ways? Absolutely, which is why these blogs continue to thrive. I’ve written about how the power of social media helps to truly establish these connections and I firmly believe in this approach.
So with the time I do carve out for blogging, I will continue to support my readership, but it may not necessarily always be a blog visit and I have learned to let this go. Support may be shown in various ways such as through a follow, blog subscription, the retweet of a tweet on Twitter, a Stumble of a post on Stumble Upon, communication through an email exchange or a chat on Facebook. I will continue to support and connect with my readers through these mediums and continue to use social media because the bottom line is I can’t do it all.
Which brings me to my final point about the recent launch of TMC. I am so proud to have created a platform to bring such a fantastic group of women together. Bloggers who are just starting out now have another place to call home and veteran bloggers just added another resource to their repertoire and it’s all about networking.
I have been asked, “How do you have the time to do this and how do you manage to do it all?” My answer is simple: TMC runs itself. This community is a space for bloggers. You are the ones visiting this space to get yourself out there to network. Think of it like this: I provided you the fabulous house to party in and filled it with amazing décor, cocktails, music, food, and peeps, but now it’s up to YOU whether or not you mingle, network and have fun. TMC has it all there and the more active you are in this community, the more you will get out of it. So aside from the initial set-up and commitment to feature fabulous TMC bloggers weekly, TMC basically runs on its own.
So if you ever find yourself seeking the balance of your own blogging mojo, here is my advice for what it’s worth: At any point you feel stressed out about any aspect of blogging, whether it’s the writing, commenting, promoting or networking, take a step back and reflect on your experience and make some changes that fit you and your life. If I continued at the speed I was traveling recently, I would have easily landed in bloggy burnout. I’ve come to terms with the whole comment thing and I’m ok with it. This experience has shown me that I am human, that there are only so many hours in the day and that I do actually live a life outside of this blog. I had to find a balance that worked for me and luckily, I did.
And in the end, those who really read and visit me will still love Theta Mom and continue to support me – whether I am able to comment on a post or not.
And I’m ok with that.
Ladies – It is so nice to know that I am not alone! And every comment is spot on here…we have to do the best we can with the time we have and feel good about it. Took me a little while to “get” that message.
Well said! I can’t even imagine keeping up with what you have happening on your blog. And the best blogs are written by people who are living life – and you can’t do that if you are sitting behind your computer reading and responding to other people living life! GO LIVE LIFE! Your real readers (me being one) will be here waiting to hear about your adventures!
I love comments and replies from comments I’ve left others – who doesn’t? Whether your blog is little or huge, sometimes it’s just not possible to reply to every comment. It can also be hard to keep up with the blogs you read. I think most of us understand. And if a follower leaves because you haven’t returned a comment, I see it as their loss.
ps. Still excited about TMC!!!
Girl I don’t care if you never come to visit my blog I’d still read and comment here because I kind of think you’re awesome.
Mama Jules – Exactly, we are bloggers of course we all love comments! But the reality is, there just isn’t enough hours in the day to do it all – and you are right – the true readership is here no matter what.
And so glad you are loving TMC!!!
And Completely Eclipsed – I heart you. 😉
Love what you said here. While I don’t have a large following by any means, I frequently found myself in the same boat. It was easy to get sucked in and then I realized I’ve had to cut back. For me, I wanted blogging to be an enjoyable experience where I could connect w/ other mom and maybe learn a thing or two. Just like any relationship, it doesn’t work if you’re score keeping and playing tit for tat…know what I mean?
I get it- I’m a newbie tryin’ to build readership and there’s a lot to it- thanks for the wisdom!
I love your blog and will continue to follow no matter what. I too love comments but there are only so many hours in a day. My kids come first too so I don’t always get to spend the time I want on my blog. I only get a few comments but even those take time with two kids and a job.
You got it! Like you said…family comes first, and the job that puts food on your table is next in line. I think many of us enjoy blogging as a creative outlet, but if we turn it into something complicated and stressful then there will no longer be fun in it for us. It is so hard to find the right balance for all the aspects of our lives sometimes though.
Awesome – well put. I’m just starting my blog and starting to network and I’m already using nap time and time when my husband first gets home – I was starting to get bloggy burned out – but I did what you said – took a step back, went back to my life, and now I have a better perspective and my goals are re-prioritized. I only found your blog last week and I have your button on my blog – it’s the only one b/c it’s the most worthy! Good lock and enjoy your kiddos – they certainly grow up fast! Amanda
Wow, very well put. Blogging can be addictive. I agree, If I comment on a blog it is because I like what I am reading not to get a comment back.
I’m so glad you wrote this! I get really run down commenting everywhere just so I can get comments back. I give myself breaks from the commenting because of it. People who like your blog will read your blog. Let’s stop forcing each other to read it!
(I’m being a real hypocrite here because I’m in the midst of commenting right down through my reader until I think of an idea for a new post.)
Thank you for putting this out there! I have wrestled with this issue time and time again since I started blogging a mere 6 months ago. And I sooooo needed to hear this today.
Hey Chica! Well I read this post earlier today but now finally have time to come back and write a comment. So I totally understand! Blogging is extremely time consuming and when there is so much other stuff us mommies need to take care of it is hard to justify time on the computer. At least that is how I feel sometimes. I want to blog and I have tons of ideas in my head. But I can’t blog at work. I try to on my lunch break but there are so many other this I need to do as well. Then when I get home I want to be with my family. Then kids go to bed and by then I am pooped. So I understand.
Well amen to that! It looks like you have your priorities in order. I don’t have nearly as many comments and subscribers as you do and I feel myself getting overwhelmed with “blogging duties”. We all have to take a step back and look at what’s really important.
Ladies – Everything you shared is what I feel as well…the moment blogging started to stress me out is when I needed to make a change – because this should always be FUN and something I ENJOY –
I could not agree more. Your post helped validate my own feelings. Thanks for sharing, I feel better already.
wow, you have no idea how glad i am to have randomly landed here tonight! i don’t have ANYWHERE near the following that you have, but i’ve been feeling overwhelmed with just trying to keep up with everyone that visits my site. and then, of course, guilty when i can’t! this was really good wisdom-just what i needed to hear. thanks so much for sharing!
This post is right on time…I try to comment more but sometimes my schedule does not permit it. Finding the right balance is a must.
I will always visit you! Your blog rocks! The message here is totally on point.
I agree one thousand percent!
That’s the right way. If our homes aren’t in order our blogging is in vain.
You know what I love most about you and your blog is that I can always relate to what you write about. This week has been super crazy….between remodeling, planning the twins’ birthday party this weekend, making cakes for their party, etc, etc…I’ve been running ragged. I was doing the same thing you were…getting up earlier and earlier and going to bed later and later. I can’t keep up.
It’s a catch 22 because I love how my blog has grown and I enjoy following the blogs I follow but yeah…it’s getting stressful and I totally agree that loyal readers will come back no matter what. That’s been my experience as well.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. Good to know I’m not alone!
Thanks for posting this! I have been getting stressed about being behind on my Blog world. Reading, commenting, replying, etc, etc, etc. I’m glad to know I’m not alone!
As much as I respect the attitude the most devoted will come and read regardless and readers come and go I still think one should at least to try and comment on their favorites as often as possible and visit other blogs when possible. Unless a comment is left it is hard to tell if your regulars are reading or not. I have to admit I try really hard to visit the blogs I follow and of course I ‘fail’ at times but sometimes I get discouraged commenting on some blogs and never getting any reciprocation.
Its not all complaints though I love to blog and if a post is successful or not I love the love I get.. and will continue to share mine regardles….
Amen, sister! I’ve come to the same conclusion, it’s something all of us bloggers struggle with & it all comes to a head. You just realize that you can’t keep up with it all & the commenting has to be less than it used to be. There are so many areas of blogging that pull us all in different directions & trying to juggle it all is such a monumental task. I’m seeing so many articles lately on balancing. I wrote my own a few weeks ago!
Are you a fly on the wall at my house?
did you see this week’s episode of House, it was about a blogger (who gets sick), she thrives on honesty, tells her readers every bit of personal info, and even relies on their comments to determine the course of her medical treatment. it is course begins to hurt her romantic relationship, but she sticks to her guns about the importance of her honesty to her readers. but i did wonder of course where we draw the line, particularly for a blog that is not a source of income.
Dina – You raise an interesting point (although I did not see that episode of House) but I think at the end of the day, regardless of the # of followers a blog has or how much $ a blog is bringing in, the blogger has to be content with the CONTENT and “how much” is put out there for the world to see. I know where I draw the line, but my line may be different from the next blogger – I think as long as we are happy with what we share, the rest should fall into place.
It is SO refreshing to read this.
I was just looking at the mommy blogs listed as “The Best” on a site… Yours was the first one that I visited that I didn’t have to search for readable content.
I haven’t made y mind up on that episode of House, yet.. myself.
Just because you blog doesn’t mean you promise full disclosure, yet if you did… How responsible ARE you to uphold that stuff when it comes to personal health?
* And this month there have been a lot of posts (that I’ve seen) about blogging jealousy.
When you’re no longer writing just for writing… Dear God.. Give it a rest.
It’s reflected in content when the moonlight leaves our eyes.. and our front pages become nothing but “PR”.
Because of this post, I will be coming back here. So pride yourself on THAT!
Wait? We’re supposed to comment on all our comments? But, seriously, you’re right – we show our support to other bloggers in many other ways, but we shouldn’t always feel like we have to comment under the comments we get. I like to show luv by reading others’ blogs and commenting on their sites.
I was feeling the same way this week. I haven’t had time to post in over a week because I have been busy with my hubby, the kiddies, the house and hubby’s shop. Today, I finally had time to catch up on some of the blogs that I missed and yours was one of the first ones I checked. It’s nice to know that we all go through this. And that it’s okay to put our lives and families first.
THIS IS An important post, and I’m glad you wrote about it. priorities have to be kept straight and the reasons for blogging kept in mind, or it can ruin the experience.
thanks for writing this.
Cameron
Fabulous post. Fab – u .. lous.
REALLy REALly…felt every word.
xoxox
supah
One of my fears about blogging was that it would become “just another thing I had to do”. & sometimes I open the laptop & think, I have to write something because it’s been 3 days… & on those days, my posts suck. I need to remember something that one of the previous commenters said about “when you stop writing for the sake of writing. Then stop writing.”
I love comments. Absolutely love them, they make me giddy when I see one pop up in my email. But when I open it and it’s just a “hey, i’m here, now come see my blog,” comment, it’s not quite the same. I would much rather someone comment when something I’ve written strikes a cord for them, not just because they want my comments in return. Make any sense?
Thanks for posting this & getting the dialogue going.
I’m not even half as big as you and I still get overwhelmed. Not so much with my own comments, but with the number of blogs I subscribe to. Sometimes I get the urge to just delete my feed reader, but NO…I love these gals (and some guys), and if I can’t comment the day they post their entry…I think they understand
I’ll get to it, just as I’m getting to yours today!
I am also dealing with this same thing. Sometimes even reading all the blogs I want takes to much time. So I am letting it go, I will do only what I can do in my allotted amount of time. After all if I have learned anything from what happened to me recently I need to live life in the present.
Theta Mom…Heather, thanks for this. It is DO Easy to get sucked into blogging and reading other blogs. It’s both awesome and an albatross all at once, I’ve discovered.
Thank you for the community as well! I am a newbie, so any resource I an get my hands on is golden.
There’s an award for you over at “my place”…but I understand that you are very busy, so please don’t feel obligated to re-award it. =) Just wanted you to know I think you’re pretty darn cool!
…and sorry my fingers got away from me and I typed “DO” instead of “SO” in my first sentence!!
I was just thinking the same thing. I love every minute of blogging but sometimes, like tonight when I have a pounding headache, I just want to turn the computer off. Balance is a wonderful thing, in moderation of course.
Take care of you. Don’t worry about us, we’ll keep reading.
Well said Heather! I don’t have nearly as many followers or readers, but my blog does take a lot of time. I took this week off, because I needed to catch up to my family and home.
I’ll be back this weekend to sign up for TMC.
I hear you and agree 100%. I have not been on my laptop for two days and believe it or not I really didn’t miss it. It takes alof time to blog, Tweet, Facebook and comment. Sometimes I feel guilty when I can’t be 100% dedicated by that is life and life will go on without blogging if necessary
This is OH so true! (But I do think you do a darn good job keeping up with it all!) Family definitely must come first! I find myself from time to time getting down because I feel like I’m so behind (today for instance! haha) but then I just have to remember that there’s no way to do everything I want to do, just have to focus on what I can do.
Very well said! I have over 200 comments in my inbox waiting for me to reply to, and I don’t think I can do it. Right now, it’s after 1 AM, and I’m going to have to get up in 6 hours. Late at night is really the only time I have to blog, but I love doing it. I do feel guilty when I don’t respond to every comment, or visit every blog I read daily, but I just can’t do it.
I find myself stressing as my blog grows…but recently have realized…I must chill! I do the best I can to email or comment back to everyone…I say the best I can because that is all I can do…I still have a life. I wouldn’t unfollow anyone for not returning a comment…I have a special set of criteria for unfollowing and it is pretty extreme.
i am new to blogging, and i am already seeing how it could become an addiction. thanks for reminding me why i started my blog in the first place and for pointing out that blogging, just like everything else, necessitates boundaries and moderation. good for you and your boundaries and moderation! i’m inspired.
themsrevolution – Thank you so much for that. I love when a post can not only resonate with a reader, but perhaps inspire as well.