When I first started blogging I never knew how much pure joy I would receive from it. I also never realized how addictive it would be on so many levels. When I began to receive a few comments on my initial posts it was exciting to realize that someone actually read my blog and took the time to respond. As bloggers, we love comments because it’s validation that what we write has some kind of impact on others.
Needless to say I never imagined that blogging would be so time consuming and yet in the same breath, so rewarding. Through your own writing I feel as though I have “met” many of you. I have learned about your families, your children, your lives, as well as your hopes, dreams and aspirations because I read about it on your blogs. I know about your failures and fears because you share this as well. And when all is said and done this is the true essence of blogging, connecting with the very community that reads your blog.
Having said that, in the last few months my blog has grown immensely. I initially started out with a handful of readers and watched this blog grow more than I would have ever expected in such a short time. And for awhile, I was able to keep up with it all. I did a pretty damn good job visiting all of the blogs that paid a visit to mine, responded to a ton of comments daily, emailed bloggers, chatted at length on Facebook as well as on Twitter. But I have to be honest keeping up this pace amidst such blog growth has since become a challenge.
My bottom line is that my family comes first. My career (the one that puts food on the table) comes second. Without my job, I would not be able to stay at home with my kids. These two things will always come before this blog. I do most of my blogging in the early morning and in the evening when the kids are asleep. However, I found myself getting up earlier and earlier and staying up later and later and even began commenting on blogs during the day when my baby girl was napping just to “keep up.” Quite frankly, this began to stress me out.
I can’t worry anymore if I am unable to return a comment because the one thing I have learned throughout this blogging experience is that followers may come and go, but real readership – those who adore your blog and are at the core of your blog that return time and time again are not commenting on your blog just to seek a comment in return. They are connecting to your writing and they will continue to return time and time again because they love your blog. Period.
For a moment, think of a popular blogger who has a huge following. Do these bloggers return every single comment on every single post? No. Do they connect and support their readership and continue the dialogue in other ways? Absolutely, which is why these blogs continue to thrive. I’ve written about how the power of social media helps to truly establish these connections and I firmly believe in this approach.
So with the time I do carve out for blogging, I will continue to support my readership, but it may not necessarily always be a blog visit and I have learned to let this go. Support may be shown in various ways such as through a follow, blog subscription, the retweet of a tweet on Twitter, a Stumble of a post on Stumble Upon, communication through an email exchange or a chat on Facebook. I will continue to support and connect with my readers through these mediums and continue to use social media because the bottom line is I can’t do it all.
Which brings me to my final point about the recent launch of TMC. I am so proud to have created a platform to bring such a fantastic group of women together. Bloggers who are just starting out now have another place to call home and veteran bloggers just added another resource to their repertoire and it’s all about networking.
I have been asked, “How do you have the time to do this and how do you manage to do it all?” My answer is simple: TMC runs itself. This community is a space for bloggers. You are the ones visiting this space to get yourself out there to network. Think of it like this: I provided you the fabulous house to party in and filled it with amazing décor, cocktails, music, food, and peeps, but now it’s up to YOU whether or not you mingle, network and have fun. TMC has it all there and the more active you are in this community, the more you will get out of it. So aside from the initial set-up and commitment to feature fabulous TMC bloggers weekly, TMC basically runs on its own.
So if you ever find yourself seeking the balance of your own blogging mojo, here is my advice for what it’s worth: At any point you feel stressed out about any aspect of blogging, whether it’s the writing, commenting, promoting or networking, take a step back and reflect on your experience and make some changes that fit you and your life. If I continued at the speed I was traveling recently, I would have easily landed in bloggy burnout. I’ve come to terms with the whole comment thing and I’m ok with it. This experience has shown me that I am human, that there are only so many hours in the day and that I do actually live a life outside of this blog. I had to find a balance that worked for me and luckily, I did.
And in the end, those who really read and visit me will still love Theta Mom and continue to support me – whether I am able to comment on a post or not.
And I’m ok with that.
Thank. You. And I totally LOVE your blog, even if I read quick and don’t comment!
I was wondering when you were going to come to this conclusion. We all have to at some point if we are going to continue to blog but put our family first. I figured this out a while back and have found what I think to is my balance in all of this. At the end of the day we cannot see it all and be it all to everyone. You are so right when you say you have to let it go. I love my readers and I don’t take them for granted one moment, but I am only one person who is also a mom, wife, homeschool parent, runs a business and office manager of my husbands company.
I’m glad to here you’ve gotten to this point. Good for you.
Hey just wanted to let you know that you have an award over at my blog.
Great post!! I too have had to not “stress” about the comment backs and things. Love the TMC idea and have already connected with some great people through it. Thanks for your post today! and Now, I’m going to spend the afternoon w/ my son and blog some later tonight!
I had some friends ask me the other day if I felt like blogging could take over your life. I replied: “Absolutely!”. There is a fine balance between blogging and life. One of the ways I stay grounded is listening to my husband. He’s helped me realize when it’s time to turn things off and that it’s okay to let things slide. Makes a huge difference for our family.
Oh don’t worry about the comments or commenting back. I too have a hard time commenting on everyone’s blog and I’ve lost many readers because of it. I try not to stress about it and do what I can. I agree…family first, job second and blog because you love to. =) XOXO
Kaci – Exactly. It took me a little while to find this space, but I am in a much better place. I think I needed to travel the route I did to realize this on my own.
Sarah – I agree. My husband was telling me I was spending too much time blogging and now I see…he was right. We really do need to find a balance because it is so easy to get sucked into it ALL.
Great post and makes total sense. There have been many times (before I even had my own blog) that I would read a few different blogs but never had time to comment. Sounds a bit “stuck up” but that’s life ya know? I get it, do what ya need to do for you and your family.
The Journey Starts Here – Well, when I first started out blogging it was much easier to manage 20 or so commens on a post, but since my blog has grown so much, I just can’t keep up – not unless I hire a nanny, chef and quit my job. I just had to get real about the reality of it and let go of the guilt.
And those who truly read me – will be there.
Very well stated! I think you read my mind. Now w/2 blogs and writing for another I am at that point. I feel guilt over not commenting or visiting more blogs and yes social media can take over your life. I am coming up w/a new schedule for blogging so I don’t feel stress and guilt over spending more time on computer than w/my boys. It is easy to get wrapped up in it and I feel like at times its like highschool trying to keep up w/the “in” crowd.
Thanks for this! I am worried about how this whole blogging thing is going to continue working for me when I got back to work in a month, but this puts it all into perspective.
I always wondered how you did it! I recently got caught up on commenting and I felt like I was being pulled in a million different directions. Sometimes too much is too much, and it’s time to put things in perspective.
Props to you for standing up for yourself:)
That does make good sense. And is what I needed to hear. I’ve got a relatively small blog, but the pressure to respond to every comment and visit everyone’s blog – well, it’s getting overwhelming. But I certainly don’t expect all my favorite bloggers to visit me – so I should give myself the same slack, right?
Monique – Thank you for that. I think I had to go through it myself to see that it was somewhat “taking over” my life. I am now in a great space and I feel so good about it.
I totally get this. Although my blog is relatively small, I get so addicted to writing and twittering that it starts to consume my day. You have done an amazing job with your blog and website. It really inspires me to do more and go further with mine.
Great post…and so, so true. I’ve been feeling a little ‘burnt-out’ lately. Too many product reviews, commenting back, visiting blogs…it is definitely time consuming. I try to do some in the morning, and some in the evening. I’m putting myself on a schedule…and sticking to it!
Hope you have a great day
I love your blog and you have been a great inspiration to me as my blog continues to thrive too…thank you for giving me ideas to balance my life!
Amber – Yes, give yourself some slack so you don’t end up with blogger burnout! I think you have to strike a balance that works for you – comment some, social media some, and write some – but leave it at that and don’t stress over the “some” that you didn’t get to.
I totally understand this. It can get to be very stressful. I have found myself feeling guilty because I wasn’t able to get to everyone’s blog. Our families do need to come first. Just so you know, I love your blog…and you do a wonderful job!
Great advice Heather and with a new baby I have been figuring that out fast! Not so easy to comment on 40 or 50 blogs a day and take care of 3 kids.
Blogging is very rewarding and I think you are right – followers come and go but your real followers (who quickly become friends) stay. They support you in celebration and tragedy and laugh and cry with you. They tell you how cute your baby is (thank you) and that you look great for just having one (thanks again). They rock.
Just like IRL though, real friendships and finding those real followers can take time and one you are there must be balanced with the other pieces of your life. And yes – sleep is a part of this balance, I am learning.
Tina is right that a schedule can help a lot. But it is very hard to stick to one! Blogging is addictive!
Well now that I have written a novel I need to switch boobs and nurse on the other side while hopping over to TMC to check out a few more blogs…oh yeah that’s another tip we mommy bloggers are masters of – multi-tasking!
Sage, sage advice. Thank you for sharing — it was a very timely read for me.
How funny is this — I the first paragraph of my most recent blog entry is an explanation that I don’t blog weekends or evenings because that’s my family time. It’s a thousand times easier for me to blog over my lunch hour at work than it is to tear myself away from my hubby and babes. When I started blogging, that was my firm intent — I really try to hold myself to that. And now, because I have a mammoth project at work, I didn’t blog yesterday and won’t today. Project should be done tomorrow in time to write some, though, yay!
Oh MY. I just started following you and this is a fantastic post for me and everyone else who totally undestands this WHOLE bloggy thing.
*sigh*
I am going to start sharing now.
Thanks YOU. I appreciate this post more than you know.
Great post! It can be hard to step back and find the balance you need. Once you do, it’s such a breath of fresh air!
This post came right on time.
Last night I worte a post SOS plz Someone HELP ME! Asking for advice as to how…How are the mommy bloggers able to keep up with it all? Yesterday, was just one of those days where I just felt like, “I give up. I can’t keep up with all that one must do in order to make a blog successful” but you brought up a good point…”They are connecting to your writing and they will continue to return time and time again because they love your blog.”
Thank You this couldn’t have been posted at a better time then this.
Thank You to ALL the women that have commented along with their advice here as well as you Theta Mom for writing up this post =)
Much Luv,
Karen
Hey Heather! I fell into semi-blog burnout. Now that I’m private, the burnout has faded….and so have my visitors and comments. I started to realize that some bloggers were simply leaving comments in hopes that I would return a comment. It felt sort of like junior high. I also realized that I made some true friends through blogging…they are there whether I have time to comment back or not. I still follow and read your blog, but with our recent move I barely have time to comment anymore
But I still visit 
BTW-What was the name of that salon you recommended to me?? I’m in need of a haircut 😉
That is it!! If you don’t comment back from this comment we are SO over Heather. Nah, I’m just messing with you 😉 Seriously, you have to set boundaries that work for you. And sometimes you need to-oh, I don’t know-actually LIVE LIFE. It’s the same thing in other areas of life not just blogging, I think sometimes we expect more from ourselves (and maybe others) than is healthy just because we an uber-connected technological society now.
WELL SAID~ This is my first time reading. Coming to your from Cluttered Brain. You made some VERY good points. Balancing ‘all this’ is a job in itself.
This is such a great post that defines quite well what I think most bloggers come to realize sooner or later.
I do notice there may be some bloggers who comment just to get comments back, and you’re so right about true readership. They are the ones who read through your posts because they find a meaning in them and actually love your blog!!
I recently subscribed to your posts vai email so I wouldn’t miss them. I love your blog & I don’t expect you to like mine in return. This is a matter of loving a blog’s content. I love what you write and what you have to say.
Keep up the awesome work!!
you rock!! you really rock! thanks for sharing!!
THANK YOU for posting this!!! I only have 51 followers and I already feel burnt out – your post made me feel so much better about this b/c I simply CAN’T do it all. I can’t tell you how much this post really inspired me. I particularly like this: “At any point you feel stressed out about any aspect of blogging, whether it’s the writing, commenting, promoting or networking, take a step back and reflect on your experience and make some changes that fit you and your life.” This reminded me that blogging should NOT be stressful and that readers who enjoy my blog won’t hold it against me if I can’t comment every day. Thanks for this awesome post!
Did you see my tweet about receiving an AUTO REPLY to a comment I left on a blog I was visiting?
I bust my butt to visit and comment and return comments, but I know that I can’t do it all…as you so eloquently stated here. And I really, truly believe that most blog readers/followers understand this as well.
I hope that the auto reply blogger happens to read your post today (or even mine) and learns the errors of her ways.
Great post.
Ladies – Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and I never realized how much this would strike a nerve – we really do need to set priorities when it comes to blogging and remind ourselves that our real readers will be there for us – no matter what.
Well, I’ll only love you if you visit me. KIDDING!
Girl, you have to keep your sanity! I agree, it’s easy to get caught up in the fast-pace of everything. You know that your encouragement really helped me get my blog going, and helped me get started. I try to keep up with as much as I can, but then I had a blog redesign and then traveled and whooooosh! I felt like I was years behind. It’s hard to keep up! I try to maintain a schedule as well; I set times to blog, times to reply to comments, and times to go through my reader. If I have some spare time, I’ll read a little more or comment a little more. But I agree, it’s hard to not feel the guilt!
Know you have built a supportive community- even if you don’t reply to every single person!
Well said Mama! It can all be so overwhelming at times. I can’t even imagine how you would manage it all with a blog as big as yours. I can barely keep up with mine on a good day, and I don’t even have a quarter of your following! I think that you are right about true readership and if people like the things you write about and have made a connection with you, they will come back. Everyone understands that as bloggers, we all have families, and some of us have full-time jobs, and all of us have houses and laundry, etc! There is just NO way that you can return every single comment and keep up with your sanity too. With that being said, I am taking my little man outside to play for the rest of the afternoon! I squeezed in this comment while he was buried in McD’s chicken nuggets.
Thank you for this great post. I was feeling like I could not push away from the desk! I have many other projects, including my kids and husband that require my attention! All we can do is our best!
Well said. Two of my fave bloggers just hung up their hats because it became too much. Right after I started I got overwhelmed because I was visiting everyone who came ot my site, following all my followers, and commenting back to everyone. I very quickly realized that that is just not possible. And not necessary. I do not expect a return comment when I comment on someone’s blog. I am commenting because I want to, because I enjoy what they’ve written.
As usual you are honest and all inspiring! Balance blogging…what an awesome concept!…and this in the wake of declaring myself a Blog Junkie. But I know that there is a balance prescription out there for me somewhere. First step is admitting it right? (-:
Great Post. I have a small readership, but tend to get overwhelmed and burned out trying to read all the blogs I follow. WHEW it can take up so much time.
I don’t even return every comment and I have such a small readership compared to yours. Girl I don’t know how you could do it.
Angela – That’s the thing, I can’t. And I have let it go – no more guilt. Readers who REALLY read my blog will still be here and I had to go through this process to “see” that. Thanks for sharing.
Amen lady! I’ve mentioned on occasion how much I admire your blog, it’s growth and your accessibility and giving-ness (made up word).
I have been struggling lately with not only bloggy burnout but a blogging identity crisis! My blog is growing modestly and it’s so awesome but so exhausting to keep up with it all…and you have to just make peace with the face that simply…cannot. Your family and livelihood MUST come first…and let the blog fall where it may. All you can do is your best.
You will always be a blogger whom I admire, and I only hope to build The Pursuit of Mommyness to a level that reaches the vast community that yours has…but if I don’t, well, that’s okay too.
http://thepursuitofmommyness.com
Thanks for this post! I’ve been reading your blog for a little while and just started one of my own. I keep hesitating with the whole networking thing because I don’t want to be consumed with blogging and sacrifice too much time with my kids and husband. So far I am just commenting on blogs I was already following and the few commentors on my blog. My theory for now is that I will just write because I really enjoy it and worry about readership later. I guess I worry about the networking thing being all or nothing, but your words are helping me see that there can be balance. Just trying to figure this whole blogging thing out!
I really enjoy reading your blog… thanks for writing!
Heather, Great post you always find the words ! The ones am thinking i always seem to have a struggle about spending to much time blogging and commenting back and you hit it right on the nail it’s about balance i can’t do it all thanks for reminding me
you are such a amazing blogger and thank you for that.
Words of wisdom indeed! Your post are always spot on. You say what everyone is always feeling.
I always try to bear in mind why I started blogging. I did it as a means of preserving my memories with my husband and daughters and as a means of allowing faraway relatives a glimpse into our every day life…to feel closer to us. It’s difficult not to feel pressured to deliver what we “think” our followers want. But in the end, it’s the original content that brought me my followers. You’re exactly right…if your readers value your blog, they’ll return time and time again regardless of whether you are able to return the visits and comments.
What a wonderful post Heather. I found my best blogging time is when my daughter is taking her nap or at night when the kids go to bed. I return emails throughout the day.
I have been amazed at how you seemed to do it all. You have an amazing blog and are a genuine writer. I don’t think you will have to worry about losing your following.
Joy – Thank you so much for that, means so much.
xoxo
So glad you posted about this… blogging can be stressful. You always feel like you aren’t doing ENOUGH, that you’re neglecting someone. Then when you feel like you’re being a good bloggy friend, the fam wonders where you’ve been??? I’ve come to terms with I’ll do the best I can and set reasonable goals and just not sweat it.
Thanks for posting this Theta Mom! I think many of us, even with much smaller blogs, have experienced the same thing. I really needed to hear your words today!