There are many moments throughout motherhood that I think to myself, “Gee. This isn’t exactly what I signed up for.” Like when you travel with your two year-old through the airport.
Waiting in the baggage line with my daughter was a nightmare.
Passing through security was also nightmare.
Simply walking through the airport to reach our gate was a nightmare.
And then finding out our flight was delayed for at least two hours – another utter nightmare.
The problem is, my daughter doesn’t want to go in the stroller anymore nor does she want to hold my hand. She simply is at that stage where she wants to be nothing but be Miss Independent, especially in one of the busiest terminals in the country.
Bottom line? She drives me absolutely crazy. She steals my patience, my sanity and my salvation at every turn and corner, making me wonder why the hell I go anywhere with her in the first place and that day in the airport, I was done.
My brain was fried, every ounce of patience was gone and entertaining my little firecracker was virtually impossible. I exhausted all of the snack tricks, coloring book tactics and the like. We still had hours on the watch before we would board the plane and I thought it was a hopeless feat.
And then, something happened – something that I believe I was supposed to witness.
A mother and father were pushing their daughter in a wheelchair and parked near us, placing their belongings on the empty row of seats in front of us. It was hard to determine exactly how old the woman in the wheelchair was considering her head hung down low. At first I thought her head was low because she was sleeping – but when she tried to lift her head and barely raised her hands to motion to her mother in a very loud repeated groan, I knew this was her only means of communication.
Her mother immediately rushed to her side, trying to figure out what her daughter wanted, who appeared to have the developmental ability of a 10 month-old baby.
I continued to watch out of the corner of my eye as this brave mother attended to her daughter with such ease and grace. She gave her something to drink and some bracelets from her suitcase that she could touch. This mother kept her composure at all times, never letting the fierce groaning from her daughter or the strong stares from others fluster her, nor did she grow impatient with her child.
As this was going on, I sunk into my chair and peered over at my own child who was not sitting in a wheelchair but one who walks with her own two feet. She was exploring her environment and seeking independence; a child with a brain that is able to process and check for understanding, a child that is able to speak and communicate with me, a child that will have so many more opportunities than that woman will see in her entire lifetime.
I slowly turned back around and sat in a puddle of guilt.
What I witnessed that day was a warrior mom who reminded me to count my blessings.
Every single damn one of them.
As mothers, we are ALL faced with some kind of adversity but somehow, someway – we get through it.
SHE is a warrior mom.
SHE is a true inspiration to the rest of us.
SHE is a reminder of the strength we demonstrate when we’re faced with a difficult hand.
Thank you, warrior mom – whose name I don’t even know – for putting me in my place. I didn’t have the pleasure of formally meeting you, but you are certainly a mom who will be etched in my mind for a lifetime.
I think that we all lose our patience and take the little things for granted…it’s just kind of human nature. But seeing things like that definitely puts it all back into perspective, that’s for sure.
This was a good read for me this morning and I sit here bitching about the fact that my son has a cough and has to miss the Easter Egg hunt at school…and I have to figure out how to get work done with him home.
He’ll get over it…and so will I!
Absolutely amazing post! Thank you for sharing!
Sometimes, all we need is a little perspective
This is also a reminder that there is ALWAYS someone worse off than us and someone else would love to be in OUR shoes! Thanks for sharing.
We all lose our patience once in a while and I think that it’s our kids job to push us just to see what our limits are. And it’s hard to keep it together and not snap at your kids after what seems like hours of them … well, them just being kids.
Taking a step back, breathing, and seeing something like what you saw puts things in perspective. Doesn’t it?
This is so, so true. Often, when I’m sighing and thinking how tough I have it, I see reminders like that, too, and I realize that I have NOTHING to complain about at all. We are blessed, it’s true. And when I see examples like the one you mentioned, it puts things in perspective, totally.
I believe you were meant to see that too. What a great reminder. But you must also remember that you are only human, and there IS a limit to your patience. Sometimes you need to give yourself a break too.
Isn’t “perspective” interesting? Loved reading your thoughts and how your perspective was altered.
So true. And such a great reminder about how all things are relative. I think that losing our patience comes with the territory- I suppose the important part is all the rest. The hugs we give in the morning or randomly during the day, the bandaids that we put on non existent boo-boos.
So glad you saw this warrior mom and shared it with all of us!
Thank goodness for those reminders that put us back in our place. I am certainly guilty of taking a lot for granted.
Reading your post, I was reminded of the time, over 15 years ago, when my oldest daughter was having major surgery for scoliosis. After the first few nights, I was able to stay in the Ronald McDonald house next door so I could get some better sleep. I would come in from the hospital exhausted at helping to care for my daughter who could do nothing for herself at that point. I would be ready to just throw my hands up and bawl. And then, then I would see the children at the RM house with bald heads and markings drawn where they were getting their treatments each day. And the young mom who thought she was going to finally get to take her 4 month preemie baby home, only to have him die the day before they were to leave. And I was grateful. Grateful that we were going to go home healthy and whole. That I had 4 healthy children. That this scoliosis surgery was the worst thing I had had to experience with my children.
Thank you for helping me to remember this Heather.
Bernice
Speeding through Life
Wow! Nothing like a dose of humility to remind us of our gifts. Like others have said, you’re only human. But that moment was special, because it made you grateful. I always appreciate those moments.
Tina
Thanks for posting this….we all need a reality check once in a while!
Great post! I always try to remember what I’ve been blessed with. I may never have it all but someone somewhere always has it worse. And what’s more… those people usually do more with less and with a lot less complaining.
xx
I fight a battle daily with getting overwhelmed easily in my chaotic life. Thank you for adding a weapon to my arsenol. She is a Warrior Mom and I hope I find the strength she has someday.
We’ve all been there…we all lose our cool, our patience, our sanity. It happens to the best of us no matter HOW hard we try to prevent it. But I think things like what you experienced happen to remind us how lucky and blessed we are, no matter what our situation. And to show us that we CAN do anything and overcome anything.
I’ve been there. I’ve been in countless hospital waiting rooms and OR waiting rooms stressing about my daughter’s potential minor hearing loss, my other daughter’s asthma and my son getting his tonsils out. All minor things compared to what some other moms go through every day. I see them but didn’t have the right word to describe them. Now I do – WARRIOR MOMS.
Thank you!
Wonderful post!
Thank you for sharing this experience. It always helps to keep things in perspective. If your child is the one providing inspiration to others, be grateful! I’m quite certain that the mom you were observing did not feel calm and composed at all times although she definitely had found a way to be graceful while dealing with one of the toughest situations a mom can face.
~RJ
what an amazing post! This brought tears to my eyes! I seriously need to take a step back and realize my blessings.
So many people really have it hard. And yet handle it with such grace.
They would laugh with joy over the “problems” that we have.
Warrior moms bring tears to my eyes.
We were at Disney, and I was lamenting and bemoaning how HARD it was to travel with food allergy issues when around the corner came a mom with her blind child, describing Disney to him.
I curled up and died in shame.
Wow…I read this with tears in my eyes.
The grace in that story is that the scene touched you; you remembered it, you used it, you learned and grew from it. May we moms always be open to that!
We all need a dose of perspective every once in a good while. I’m telling you though, it is true that no matter the circumstances, you can always look around and see another mom you wouldn’t want to trade places with. I’ve spent many a night sleeping in a chair in the PICU waiting room and I never failed to find my own doses of perspective in spite of my own placement, my child’s needs.
Thanks for posting!
Powerful! Thanks for sharing and reminding me to get my perspective in order.
Oh, mama. Thanks for posting this – it gave me a much-needed dose of reality!
Isn’t it amazing how strong people are when things really get tough? I volunteered at a school for the mentally challenged for years and working with those kids, coupled with the fears we had while I was pregnant with Violet, make me so painfully conscious when I begin to take for granted how blessed we are.
At the same time, I am reminded that we are all human. Just as that warrior is showing the ease and grace she has learned, we know that no mother is always patient and understanding. She has had moments of anger as well. We are allowed to get frustrated as long as we have the sort of perspective that counting our blessings gives us. No one is perfect. You are not expected to look at your screaming child and think about how lucky you are right then and there.
We know we have been given a gift with healthy children, and the perspective is something everyone should have. At the same time, you are a good mom. Don’t beat yourself up.
We’ve all been in that puddle. Hugs!
Wonderful, powerful post. A dose of perspective that I can definitely use.
Great post.Every once in awhile we need a jolt like this to shake us into reality.Change our perspective.We ( me for sure) are all guilty of wishing our kids could be better, behave better, do better because we are blessed enough to know that they can give more, do more, be more but when this happens we forget what things could be.
Warrior moms inspire us to be better moms by raising the bar. We moms do what we need to for our children.*hugs* You are a great Mommy.
Thanks for reminding me to keep things in perspective!!
But oh man…that airport/airline travel is SO HARD!!!
That is a great reminder, I know being a mom is a touch job, I could not imagine a mom with a handicap child.
I’m giving you a standing ovation right now for this post. It is so true…we all take so much for granted. I’m so glad you pointed this out. We need to acknowledge and be thankful for all of our blessings. i totally needed to read this…right here, right now! Thank you. And my standing ovation includes the “warrior mother”.
Wonderful post. And if you want a way to make airport travel easier, can I recommend a Trunkie (google it, it will come up). Both my sons have one and it makes life so much simpler – and removes the need for a stroller too (from 2 1/2 – 3, anyway…).
Oh, and btw, the twitter name that just came up on my comment is not me – not sure who it is, but I live in Russia rather than California. Sadly.
Wow. Nothing like a moment of clarity that slaps you in the face when you need it most!
My first son was born blue and not breathing. They were rescusitating him right in front of me and then took him away. I didn’t know if he had lived or died for an entire hour. It was the most excruciatingly painful hour of my life thus far.
However, I do think those moments were meant to happen. Each time I start to lose my patience with my very rambunctious toddler, I try to remind myself how close I was to losing him. It has definitely helped bring perspective in those moments of frustration.
Thank you for telling this story.
Great post!! As a new mother I know what it is like to be frustrated with your baby and feel overwhelmed. Especially when traveling!! It is so great to see individuals who are warrior moms, make me feel the same way if they can make it I can make it too!
So true Heather!!!! What an awesome post!
Sometimes I forget how lucky I am. Thank you fro this, and thank you to Warrior Mom and to all the warrior moms who fight immense battles every day.
Heather – I don’t know if that Warrior Mom would want to be considered “brave.” I think she does what we all do: deal with what we’ve been given, and find the joy there, because what is the alternative?
Not that I don’t think we all need perspective sometimes – I completely agree with you!
Anyway, you should read Tulpen’s post on my blog about this very thing. It’s amazing. http://www.mommypants.com/mommypants-moment-magic/
I know that mom! It’s my alter ego…the Zen Mama. But I can’t pretend that always reach Zen Mama-ness. I think the Zen Mama/Warrior Mom has already been through it and this is her 3rd or 4th child. She’s figured out everything she can’t control and stays calm because she can’t control it. Besides that very Zen thinking, she also carries various treats that the children never get to have at home!
Such a great post. I love how you put this into words. I can sympathize because something very similar happened to me last week.
My son now has to wear an eye patch to try and save the sight in his right eye, which is rapidly deteriorating. I felt pity. Total pity that this poor kid can’t catch a break. Autism and now the fear of going blind. Then saw a man in Walgreens with a wheelchair. He had no help and needed to disassemble it and almost crawl to his door after stowing it in the trunk. In that moment I, like you, was completely put in my place. I had nothing to complain about and needed to put things into perspective.
I can totally relate to this post. I know I have become very frustrated with my little ones because they weren’t listening to me. I misinterpreted it as misbehaving but in all reality all they were doing was becoming independent and developing their own thoughts/opinions. As a result, they are not as easy to “control” anymore and I found it rather hard to deal with at first. Letting go a bit and relaxing a bit when it comes to them was a hard lesson that I had to learn. It has taken a lot of patience and prayer but I know that I am less stressed and I am able to enjoy them more.
Sincerely,
Adelaide
Wow. I’m speechless. Thank you for sharing this.