My guest post today is the fantastic Missy from Wonder Friend. She recently attended Blissdom and has an amazing perspective to share here at TMC. This is the kind of post that will resonate with you and I know that every blogger who reads this will take away something valuable.
I recently attended Blissdom, where we talked social media and blogging for three days. And my husband attended Lotusphere 2011, where the theme was Get Social. Do Business.
My husband heard Kevin Spacey, Academy Award winner and producer of The Social Network talk about the role social media has played in his career. Years ago, he developed a web site where screenwriters and actors could collaborate and discuss. They didn’t call it social media then, but that’s what it was.
At Blissdom, I heard talented bloggers and business people talk about the power women wield in the realm of social media.
Clearly, we’re on to something here. Social media is not a passing fad. Any social media savvy blogger knows that now is the time to make your mark, to find your place.
But how?
Of all I learned at Blissdom, one of my biggest takeaways was this: the social media possibilities are like so many drops of rain. Sure, some of those possibilities are going to hit the ground and evaporate before you get to them. But it’s raining so hard that there are more than enough drops to fill your pail.
Let’s just pull three key words from that metaphor: fill your pail. Not her pail. Or hers. Or his. (There are some dudes in this game, too.)
As you walk along the beach, be sure that when looking left, right, behind you, and way, way out at sea, you can easily pick out your little pail. Be certain that you will know it by color, by the words surrounding it, by the content inside, by the pictures you use to decorate it.
Please, by all means, marvel and wonder and ooh and ahh over the other pails scattered on the beach. Examine the gorgeous shells in that one. And look at the giant castle created with this one. Run your fingers through the sand in another. But at the end of the day, the only pail you need to know inside and out is your own.
My pail looks nothing like yours and that is good news. Yours? Is amazing. You? Are amazing. But you are not me, and I am not you, and that’s exactly as it should be.
Your blog, and any other social media ventures, should be authentically you. Please do not write anything, sell anything, buy anything, comment on anything, post a photo or a video or a stick figure drawing that doesn’t fit you.
I think a lot of new bloggers, myself included, fall into the trap of grabbing every opportunity. When I saw bloggers I admired write a certain way, or join a network, or partner with a brand, I rushed to do the same without stopping to think: is this a fit for me, for my blog? Personally, I don’t regret my past choices, but I do know that I will approach things differently going forward.
To keep the metaphor going, we end up running around the beach, panicky, shoving our pail under the rain here… but maybe it’s falling harder over here… or maybe over there? Meanwhile, there’s plenty of rain falling back at that original spot. We just need to focus in order to catch it.
So let’s talk goals. If you know yourself, if you identify your passions, then it’s much easier to keep the focus needed to fill your pail. Sit down, think, write, daydream and brainstorm. Then do it again. Take your time. There is no deadline here.
Of course, feel free to give yourself a deadline if that’s how you work best, but do not – please, do not – create a deadline for the wrong reasons. Don’t do it because you must win a contest, you must get syndicated, you must earn advertising dollars, you must receive sponsorship, you must get hired.
All of those things are indeed the spoils of a social media savvy blogger. They are worthy goals. A brand partnership that works, a job in social media: these are fantastic things. And the social media savvy blogger knows that the key to achieving these things, these spoils, is authenticity.
Savvy social media is figuring out what your pail looks like and what you’re going to fill it with. Once you know that, the beach is yours.
Enjoy it.
Please send me an email if you are interested in guest posting at Theta Mom® for TMC Network. Full details can be found on the Network page.
Very wise and important words. Thank you for sharing, and I would imagine sparking discussion throughout the day. I think it is really easy to get lost in the fray. I’ve found my blog and my connection to social media to be an evolution, the more I try, the more I realize what fits and what doesn’t. The other part of that is that it’s OKAY to change. You don’t have to stick with something that doesn’t work or doesn’t feel right just because you think it’s what you should be doing.
But this, this really hit home:
Sit down, think, write, daydream and brainstorm. Then do it again. Take your time. There is no deadline here.
I absolutely love the role social media plays in blogging and business. It has leveled the playing field for the small business owner especially the momprenuer and I love that. I love how it has allowed us to create real relationships with the people behind the products. But as great as social media is it is very overwhelming and time consuming if you don’t put together a strategy that works for you and your lifestyle. But if done correctly it can be very rewarding.
Great post!
I loved your message, Missy! And I really love what Savvy Mom Stylish Girls said about social media leveling the playing field for small business owners. That is SO true! And another great aspect of social media.
I was there…that’s what it’s all about. Being true to who you are and finding your own voice. Great post!
Great post, I think I am going to tape a picture of a pail next to my monitor. Wise words to remember. Thanks for sharing another savvy blogger.
I was also at Blissdom and everything Missy said is true. Making the connection and finding your voice is what it’s all about.
Great advice! Looking forward to apply it to my blog! Thanks
Great post, Missy. Love the analogy!
While I do think that we all need to be authentic and true to ourselves, I also think there’s something to be said for learning from experimenting, trying, failing, and changing things up. Sometimes it takes awhile to know who you are and what you want to do….and that’s okay. I feel like I am still learning about my own goals and defining what it is that I want to do. It’s an evolving process, not a fixed one.
I *love* that you raised this point Gigi…and sometimes, the most growth and learning comes from those “experiments.” I think this whole blogging/social media journey will always be an evoloving process – one that changes as we will change, too.
I agree. That’s exactly why I said I have no regrets. Not one. I might not make the same decisions today, but I have experience under my belt now.
I think the better we know ourselves – blogging-wise or otherwise – the more authentic our social media ventures will be. That’s not say things never change; rather, it’s to remain true to yourself at every turn, through all the changes and experiments.
So glad you brought up experimentation and trying things out … I feel like every week I consider a different direction – still concerned about where that somedays not so small voice is really taking me … you will all be the first to know when I figure it out 😉
Wonderful post Missy, and I so enjoyed meeting you at Blissdom … you have a very unique shiny pail, I am happy to play in the sand with you
What a wise post! When I started my blog, I honestly had no ideas about all of the opportunities out there for bloggers, and I am only now beginning to find my “voice” apart from the original “here are pictures of the kids & what we did today”.
I will keep these words in mind as I wade through the blogosphere and try not to be too, too distracted by all of the pretty things out there
Such a great post. I think it can be a bit hard to stay true to your genuine voice when you start out. I continue to struggle sometimes and sometimes I feel a bit lost. In the end though? I find that if I just write for the original purpose I intended it all fits…
Best,
Tina
This is so perfect. We have to do this for US and no one else
Loved reading about this topic. As a young mom with older kids I feel it’s been a bit more difficult to find my niche within the blogging community. My children are all in school, I’m not a crafty type or a food blogger… so I’m finding that randomness is kind of my thing. And I’m okay with that.
I have written and then deleted a few posts out of fear of how they’ll be received. I want my blog to be a place that people enjoy visiting, so I’m not sure how to incorporate the “heavier” topics that I’d like to discuss.
I think my bucket may be a little crass, but for sure it is my own.
This is a great post. It’s hard to stay focused on your strengths and goals when it seems like everyone else is zooming past you, but I think in the end the best thing I can do is write well and share my strengths with other interested parents!
So true. There are so many blog voices out there. It takes a while to find your niche (I’m still getting there) and figure out what makes your words uniquely your own. And I expect that will always evolve and grow and change if it’s going to remain authentic.
Missy, I LOVE this post. You captured it so perfectly.
Such a great analogy! I can completely relate to running around trying to catch raindrops elsewhere. Thanks!
This post absolutely resonated with me. Sometimes I worry when I write about certain things (for example sugar this week or motherhood on many weeks) that I’m jeopardizing being taken seriously as a writer. And then when I write about the fiction writing process, I worry that I’m boring my real friends. When I write about Judaism, I worry about boring EVERYONE. But truly all of those subjects are ME . . . hence the generic name for my blog! I’m avoiding the idea of niche or branding for now.
Thanks for this today!
Great analogy. It is so exciting to get those first raindrops, those first product review offers, the first paid post offer, but you have to make sure that what you are about to market is relevant to your blog, your style, the reasons why people find you interesting. Otherwise you look like a sellout and totally discredit yourself.
Great post! Thank you for sharing! I agree that authenticity is true in any line of work. If you aren’t being true to yourself, you can’t do the best of what you are capable of. You can’t fake it!
Another EXCELLENT post! I agree with the “waiting” aspect of this. It’s easy when you are getting started and really wanting to grow your blog to jump on every social media bandwagon out there and try to go with it. There are just some things we aren’t fit for, and that’s okay! That’s what makes blogging all the more interesting!
Thinking I need to take a good look at my pail. It’s funny, even though I’ve been blogging a while, I almost feel like I’m re-starting in some ways lately. There has been SO much change since I started with the advent of FB and twitter and SO many more blogs out there.
Great post Missy. Lots to ponder…
This is great advice Missy. I do believe you have to find where your fit in the blogosphere, whether it is a specific writing that appeals to you, a certain subject matter or a target audience. You can’t be everything to everyone. But the most important thing, as you state, is to allow yourself to daydream and write and don’t worry about the deadlines.
Missy,
Loved this awesome word picture! I was also at Blissdom, which was AWESOME, and have felt the same way since returning. I saw the other bloggers and what they were doing and accomplishing. I got caught up in “maybe I should” and “what if I”. Thanks for helping me bring it back into focus who I am and what MY blog is about.
Thanks again!
Bernice
Being productive in stressful times
This is very good advice. I think it is obvious when someone is not being authentic. At least it is to me. And I don’t ever want someone to have that kind of reaction to something I say or do.
Missy love your analogy of filling up your pail…so true. I agree the process is always evolving and I’m still trying to figure out the path I want to take. But that’s the beauty of social media, the possibilities are endless!
Great analogy and great advice. It is important for people to be authentic in social media and it helps make the writing much easier. I have found that when I write the way I talk the words flow easy but if I try to force the words to be something I am not then I really struggle.
Wonderful wisdom. Deadlines can be slippery slopes. It’s important to have them but not at the expense of creating something that doesn’t speak to you. Authenticity is a powerful tool in the blogosphere!
Oh dear, I think my pail is on head.
[love this, by the way]
Beautiful! And very inspiring. I’m struggling with a lot of these questions myself.
Missy, I loved this post! Especially your analogy!!
Fabulous advice… really makes you slow down and THINK: about your goals, dreams, hopes, and vision for your blog. Thanks for such a timely reminder of why we do what we do.
As a newbie just starting out, the pail metaphor is very helpful.
I realize I need to focus more on what I have to share–what is in *my* pail–rather than distract myself with what others are doing.
Excellent advice Missy. The metaphor is spot on, and it looks like you struck a chord with a lot of people! Myself included. I have caught myself trying to get a piece of the rain that others are putting in their buckets, when I really need to slow it down and make my bucket my own.
very well said!!
I love thking of all our beautiful pails on a beach. What a wonderful way to visualize our similarities and differences. Great post!
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I have a lot of people that I blog with whose blogs are taking off. I keep wondering what I’m doing wrong. But lately I’ve been telling myself to retrain my focus not on what’s happening for them, but to look at my content, look at the people who visit my blog & enjoy what I have instead of worrying about what I don’t have.
Great guest post!
A great lesson…in life as well as the blogosphere!
SO true Wonder Friend!
Great post. It’s hard not to get caught up in the numbers game when you first start out. I find that I get the most comments and page views when I just write for myself and nobody else.
Sometimes I feel the same way as Kate… that other people are receiving better opportunities than me, but my time will come if it’s meant to!
That was so inspiring! And I loved the metaphores.
Wow. What a great post! Thanks for sharing what goes on at those social media events lol, I’ve never been to one so always wondered. I’m RT’ing this because my followers need to read this too 😉
Great advice! I know that in my early days I jumped on every bandwagon I saw, but the longer I am n this the more I am growing into me.
What a wonderful post and analogy- looking and admiring what’s in another pail, but always returning to your own.
Thanks for writing this!
I know, the BEST analogy, right?
You wonder when you see something on another person’s successful blog if you should do it too. Thanks for the reminder that it may be great for them, but may not be right for me.
I wish I had been able to read this when I was a new blogger. So helpful and wise.
This is a fantastic post. I have fallen into the trap once or twice. But that’s not me, and most importantly that’s not what I want for my blog long term. I choose quality over quantity now. Each post says something, makes a statement. And whatever happens, will happen.