I picked up my son from pre-school recently and when we got home it was routine as usual; he took off his shoes, went potty, washed his hands and got ready for an afternoon snack while I unloaded the backpack.
I like to be the one unloading the backpack because it gives me a chance to sort through the parent notices, clean out his lunch bag and organize the work folder. You see, my son is four years-old and he brings home 9,000 pieces of art, colored papers and worksheets and it ALL comes home. If I kept every single slice of work he’s ever created my refrigerator door would not even be able to open. So I came up with a little organization technique that I like to call The Swap: When I hang up a “new” piece of work one comes down and ultimately lands in the garbage (without him seeing of course) which is my way of keeping this kind of clutter under control.
However, on this recent de-clutter fest I made an epic mistake. As I was sifting through his work folder {routine as usual} I grabbed a piece of work and quickly placed in the trash. Since I was about to throw the entire trash bag out, I knew my son wouldn’t see it but I was soon distracted by my daughter and forgot about it…
Before I knew it my son went to throw out the wrapper from his snack and that’s when he saw V is for Violets sitting beneath some wet chicken and rice.
And then the tears came.
“But I can’t ever make it again. I made it for you Mommy and now it’s ruined,” he muttered as he continued to cry.
My heart was broken. Words can’t express how I felt at that moment as I watched my four year-old crushed by the revelation that his mommy just trashed his beautiful art work. Obviously my son was really upset so I tried to explain that mommy made a grave mistake and that it would not happen again. I tried to divert his attention to the other 8,999 pieces of art hanging up on the fridge that we could admire…
“No, I picked it for you because I told my teacher that purple is your favorite color and now it’s ruined.” {I may be blonde, but I still wasn’t making the FULL connection here to this specific piece of work}
“What do you mean you picked it for me?”
My son ran into our mud room and grabbed a plant from the bottom of a bag. He said, “This is for you Mommy…for Mommy’s Day.”
Now it began to make sense. The V is for Violets artwork went along with my Mother’s Day plant that he picked out at school all by himself knowing it was my favorite color.
Epic fail.
I reached into the garbage and wiped the chicken and rice off the top of the construction paper and told my son that it was the best piece of art work he’s ever done, especially for me – and that I love it and I love him to pieces. I kissed his forehead, wiped away his tears and told him how sorry mommy was and from that moment forward anything that is super special will go into a “super special folder” and anything that gets thrown out would have to meet his approval first. With tons more kisses and hugs, he seemed to like that plan.
So now?
I gladly hide the side of my fridge with 9,001 pieces of art because I never want to make that kind of mistake again.
Because V is for Violets and L is for a Lesson Learned.
Ohmahell….I hate thoe moments. And really? If we kept all the artwork…where,oh where would I keep my shoes? All kidding aside, don’t beat yourself up….at least it wasn’t a macaroni necklace. Because I would have felt so guilty throwing it away I would have worn it every day!
Happy Momma’s Day
Best,
Tina
OMG – The macaroni necklace! I guess it’s better I screwed up now instead of with the necklace! lol Thanks for your comment. 😉
I’ve been an offender of the Epic Parent Fail — more than once, I hate to admit. It makes you feel awful at the time. But I must say, it feels even worse years later, when they’re older and don’t bring home those V is for Violet papers any more. Makes me wish I would have savored those moments a little longer. ;0)
P.S. You’re a good mommy.
It’s funny you should say that Melinda, because when I read the post back to myself and seeing the pictures for the first time, it made me realize I won’t be getting V is for Violet papers forever.
Thanks for the reminder. 😉
You poor thing! I can only imagine what that moment was like. My 4 yr old has made me drive back to his pre-school when he’s left a piece of artwork he made for me. If he ever saw any of his things in the trash, he’d be crushed. I have to admit I keep EVERYTHING he does inside a large portfolio folder.
At least you were able to diffuse the situation, Being a mom is TOUGH!!!!
.-= Dania´s last blog ..My Blog is Carbon Neutral =-.
Oh no, my heart was breaking right along with you as I read this. I have the same system, one in, one out…I try to showcase all the new stuff for a little bit and I try to keep stuff that shows some new skill, but it would be impossible to keep it all. But every time I toss a little piece I feel just a bit sad. Every one means something to him, and so it makes me sad.
.-= Christine LaRocque´s last blog ..Courage =-.
I have made this same mistake. Sophia was crushed. Until she forgets we now have a GIANT bin that it all goes in because, of course, EVERYTHING is special to her. I had to click over since baby girl is named Violet and Sophia brought her to class for show and share for V week. Because yes, V is for violets. Precious Heather!
He will forgive you. It happens to the best of us!
.-= Brittany at Mommy Words´s last blog ..The Spectromagic Parade =-.
Oh man….I got teary eyed for you….I can only imagine how you must have felt! I guess its inevitable to make those kinds of mistakes! Glad it was able to be rectified! Your little one seems sooo thoughtful! Lucky you!
Thanks Trish – I can’t complain, he is a cutie pie.
I have done something similar–I am always quick to throw things in the trash without realizing. Oh my…this is a very precious post. Glad you were able to retrieve the art work and the plant is a beautiful purple. Hope you enjoyed your Mommy’s Day!
Aww!! Well, I am glad you both feel better! The folder idea is really the best. My mom has some of the more “special” art and and all the cards I have ever given her in a keepsake box. It is fun to look back at all of those memories!
.-= Adventures in Mommywood´s last blog ..Who doesn’t love Sunshine? =-.
I like the folder idea, too. Something I think I’ll need to adopt!
Oh, my, I am dreading this…I do NOT like clutter and although I love my baby, I’m not possibly going to be able to keep all of her artwork. I love the idea of swapping out the artwork. KInd of like when I bring home a new pair of shoes, an old pair has to go. (Really, does anyone else actually do this?!)
Great lesson to learn…all the good lessons are tough ones. 😉 At least he saw it before he went to give you the plant.
.-= Heidi´s last blog ..Happy Mother’s Day =-.
I thought the same thing Heidi! At least he saw it before the big plant reveal…parenting is such a tough gig, right?
.-= Theta Mom´s last blog ..V is for Violets: The Epic Parent Fail =-.
I almost cried for you and him! I am glad everything worked out and while I am excited for the day my now 9mo daughter brings me art, I definitely want to take it one day at a time and just enjoy. It’s okay to have a cluttered fridge, mine is filled with every school and sports magnet and picture of my brother and sister and will most likely stay that way until I get art from my little girl.
.-= Homemaking 101´s last blog ..A Day In The Life Of Me =-.
Oh no. I made a similar mistake and my son will never allow me to forget it. We try our best every single day but we are human. Allowing the humanity in oursleves is the hardest personal lesson to learn. What a lovely gift from a thougtful boy; you are a great mom!
.-= Your Mommy Friend Lori´s last blog ..Reality Bites: Little Hearts, Big Love =-.
Oh. That was beautifully written. And touching. I will remember it next time I have an epic parenting failure. Which I’m sure will be tomorrow. Or something like that.
Happy mother’s day! Thanks for all your inspiration.
.-= Sarah C.´s last blog ..And I’ve entered the chasm that is Barney… =-.
I can see this happening because my grandson is 3 and a half and they get hurt so easy. I know your heart was just breaking!!
.-= gayle´s last blog ..Mother’s Day 2010 =-.
You almost made me cry! What an amazing little boy you have. My son has his “police tickets”, hand made books, pictures all over the house and if he sees any of those in recycling he gets very upset. I think you made it up to him with all those kisses. What a beautiful Mommy’s Day gift.
I agree Trina, I think I had a good rebound, he seemed to like the new plan. Thanks so much for stopping by Theta Mom!
Oh man! Your son is such a sweetheart.
I’ve had similar fails and it’s a horrible feeling that’s really hard to shake. My son keeps track of all his artwork and asks me over and over again if I love it. I have to keep it close by to show him what a beautiful job he did.
.-= Katrina´s last blog ..Thank you, Dew =-.
i may need to go take a pregnancy test right now…i was totally tearing up reading this. i’m a wuss. what a cutie you’ve got there. i always say that my daughters (if i ever have any) will probably leave me to take care of their own families, but if i have anything to do with it, my sons will be mama’s boys forever. happy late mother’s day!
.-= alexis´s last blog ..ok, i’m better now. =-.
We all go through this…what to keep, what to part with. My friend made a binder and kept all of her kids’ artwork in their own binder. Maybe you can find a good system that will work for you.
Such a sweet gift! =)
Yes, I totally need a system after that dramatic episode! I felt so bad!!! I am loving the picture idea or scanning them – less paper but we’ll still have the memories.
Thanks so much for your comment.
Ouch! Poor kid, poor mom. You both need a ((hug))
I was going to suggest scanning as well. When I was working as a professional organizer, this was my suggestion to almost everything people wanted to save that was “paper”. What’s even more amazing is what you can do with the scanned images if you like. Look at this collage of tiny versions of a child’s artwork – http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/artwork/creating-a-masterpiece-from-your-childs-artwork-109777
So cool! I really want to make one of these someday when Alexa is big enough to bring home tons of art
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Baby Names =-.
Awww how sweet is that though. I’ve done this many times and felt horrible afterwards, now I have a $3.00 plastic tote in the basement filled with everything the kids make!
.-= Nichol´s last blog ..Look What My Tropicana Juicy Rewards Got Me! =-.
Awwww…bittersweet. I did that once. We left the food particles on. I told Jake it was now “mixed media” art.
FAVOR; I am helping my employers Spread The Word and End The Word-no more “R-Word”. If anyone has a moment, please pop by my blog and watch the video my boss’s daughter Kari Jo created with her brother Zach who has Downs. I’d love for everyone to take the “No More R-Word Pledge”. I did. Thanks!
.-= franticmommy´s last blog ..Spread the Word to End the Word UST =-.
Oh poor little thing, I could see how upsetting that would be to him. How cute. But don’t beat yourself up for too long, I do the very same thing all the time. But yes, they can never see you actually do it!!
Sadie at heyMamas
.-= heyMamas´s last blog ..Happy Mother’s Day 2010 =-.
Oh wow, what a wonderful little boy you have!
My daughter is just 14 months old so I haven’t had any of these exact moments yet… I’m sure they’ll arrive tho so thanks for the warning – I need a bigger fridge!! 😉
Katie x
.-= Katie´s last blog ..Food Allergy Awareness Week: Special Offer =-.
Exactly! I will be implementing some sort of “specal folder” so I do NOT make this mistake again! 😉
Aww – I’ve been caught in that same situation before – it really does stink! We are actually doing toy clean out this week and it’s amazing what my kids will get upset over (toys that they haven’t played w/ in months!!! as soon as it goes in the donation pile, they are in tears….). Trying to teach kids that they can’t hold onto everything forever is hard….
.-= Jackie @ 3 Little Ones´s last blog ..Aloha Friday – 5/7/10 =-.
Awww! What a cutie! You are one lucky mama.
http://www.ellie-town.com
Thanks girl – moments like these, it shows their true colors.
This was one of the sweetest stories I’ve ever heard!!! As young as kids are and you don’t think they’ll really notice, they turn around and tug at your heart strings like that!!
.-= McSass´s last blog ..Monday Monkey Minute =-.
Before I became a mom I saw that one crafty mother did this. She took photos of the art and documented date, age, etc. THEN she had them made into photo albums through Snapfish or other online photo company. That has been stored in my memory bank as a “must do”. ESPECIALLY after reading this post!!!!
Of course, I’m sure there will be a few pieces that I don’t throw away at all.
.-= Bryna´s last blog ..Today’s Whirlwind =-.
OMG – how cute is your son?! i want mine to grow up to be just like him.
*happy belated mommy’s day*
.-= Ash´s last blog ..5 Followers – WooHoo!! =-.
Hi Heather!
As an art teacher, this post has really got me thinking and I’m working on a blog post about it. I’m planning to link to this entry. Would you mind if I also use your son’s V is for Violets picture? I would certainly credit him for the work and you for the photo. I’ll post the link here as soon as it’s up.
-Aimee
Sure Aimee, that would be great! Yes, please share the link with us when it’s live!
Thanks so much Heather! This was great inspiration!
http://web.me.com/redshoearts/Redshoearts/Blog/Entries/2010/5/11_process_versus_product.html
Oh no! The tears were coming down my face as I read this! I can;t imagine how you felt. I think you handled it perfectly. I hope you are having a good week!
.-= Pres. Kathy´s last blog ..Spring Giveaway! =-.
Girl – it was horrible! I learned my lesson, for sure!
You’re making me tear up here. How sweet.
With 4 kids, I’ve thrown out my share of masterpieces over the years, but yes, our refrigerator still looks much like yours.
.-= Zen Mom´s last blog ..If Its Not One Thing, Its Another =-.
I can just imagine with four!!! Thanks for visiting mama! 😉
I’ve been busted doing the same thing. Now I take a digital picture of the door before I put up a “new exhibit”.
.-= Nicole Feliciano´s last blog ..Catstudio Kitchen Fashions =-.
Oooh, a picture of the door! Love it!!!
Oh no!!! I totally see your side though of getting rid of clutter when you already have TONS of his masterpieces hanging up already. But how can you resist his thoughtfulness???
.-= Mrs.F´s last blog ..I got what I deserved. =-.
Oh girl – my heart was BROKEN. Learned my lesson for sure! Just wait – Gianna will be making you all of these masterpieces! lol
My daughter has a large tote that goes in her closet. When new art work comes we trade it off the fridge and place it in the tote. I think that when she is much older it’ll be fun to go through it and let her pick what should be kept and what should be tossed.
Your son is so completely adorable and sweet!
That is cute he went through so much work to make that card. Mistakes happen but I know it probably broke your heart. It would have broken mine also if that happened in our house. We throw some of the kids art away also because we have one in 8th grade and the other in 1st. Like you said if we kept everything we would need a 20×10 storage facility just for the art work. LOL. Glad you two were able to patch things up and come to an agreement on the artwork.
.-= Rob´s last blog ..It’s Official =-.
Oh, no! I rarely keep my kids artwork either. A lot of it, I do take pics of- it’s how I get rid of the guilt.
Thanks for stopping by my SITS day yesterday!
.-= Shell´s last blog ..You Love Me When I’m Random, Right? =-.
I learned that lesson myself and felt exactly like you! Oh my! Now I double check with my son before I throw anything out.
What I have instead of my fridge for a back drop (because it’s covered with all my family’s schedules and you can barely find the handle) is a BIG Rubbermaid box labeled “J.’s Special Box” and we put all his report cards, projects and other special pieces of paper in there. We have one for our daughter as well. It really helps cut down on the paper trail and makes for a fun thing to look through on a rainy afternoon.
.-= Katie’s Dailies´s last blog ..So, Does This Mean I’m Truly The Queen of Random? =-.
I know how you feel! I’ve thrown away precious items too, and my baby looked really hurt when she saw them under some rotten tomatoes. The irony, I know. You’re a good mom, and what’s really great is that you apologized. I remember that my parents NEVER said sorry when I was young, even if they made a mistake. One of the most valuble things you can teach your son is to admit his mistakes and apologize.
.-= Diva´s last blog ..The Ineligible Contest Entry =-.
Oh, man. Been there. I cried, too. It’s terrible to see the extent of heartache in their little worlds and knowing that you caused it is just enough to put you over. Now, we have a special filing folder. My daughter loves, loves, loves to draw and cut up little pieces of paper so although we have the folder, I also have learned to bury garbage. Hiding garbage within garbage? That’s my thing.
To top it off, I’ve not only thrown away her special gifts, but I also kill her friends. I wrote about it here:
http://www.lovemedaily.com/?p=369
The Nanny books do not cover this.
.-= M.e.:Daily´s last blog ..Too Good Not to Share =-.
You are right – The Nanny Books do NOT cover this! lol
Its such a worry. You can’t keep everything, but you wish you could. His picture is actually really good. Mostly in the lines, I’m impressed.
Aww you must have felt so bad! At least he caught it before you threw it out totally. Imagine if he had given you the plant later and said it was to match the V is for Violets and you couldn’t find it!
Glad to hear it is all sorted out now, being a Mum sounds like it comes with a lot of guilt though! I’m sure he won’t remember it in a few years!
Jade
.-= Jade @ No Longer 25´s last blog ..Karma Haiku =-.
I’ve been caught more than once tossing their artwork or any other form of school work! Sigh. You know what? When they are in college they won’t remember it anyway. Or at least that is what I keep telling myself to get over the guilt.
.-= Life in the BAT Cave´s last blog ..New winner announced =-.
I just about started crying when I read that. I’ve got artwork EVERYWHERE and even though it’s not quite as sophisticated as V is for Violets, I still feel the guilt come on when I throw something out worrying that my daughter might see it in the trash can.
What a sweet little boy you have.
.-= Skooks´s last blog ..I Asked Hopefully You Can Answer: More Kitchen Swatches for Your Perusal =-.
Well that’s one for the memory books, eh Heather? Don’t worry too much. We all make mistakes just as epic and we are just as frustrated at ourselves for making them. It’s what being a Theta Mom is all about!
.-= The Grown-Up Child´s last blog ..Spoiled by divorce? You’ve got to be kidding. =-.
I so heart you for writing that Caroline. Yes, we all make mistakes and that’s EXACTLY what a Theta Mom can share.
xoxo
Oh this post brought tears to my eyes! What a sweet little boy you have and it’s that connection between a boy and his mum that comes through here, not at all that you ‘failed’. It’s just an honest mistake and I think it’s important for our kids to see us making mistakes and learn from how we handle them. At least you managed to save the precious gift – and I’m sure you’ll treasure this one (and the memory of its making) a lifetime. Here’s to those hard lessons we learn, as parent ‘teachers’ and as students of our little ones.
.-= Babes about Town´s last blog ..Win a Papoozle Baby Sling! =-.
My GOD I am crying at work… that is so sweet, and your poor little boy and poor you, I know how terrible you must have felt but it was a mistake and seriously, they do do so much art work, so don’t feel too bad, but I totally would have felt the same!
I have been there too, unfortunately. How are we supposed to keep everything? My preschooler’s backpack is chock full everyday with artwork. I would love to keep it all but that is just impossible. It is just hard to pick and choose because we don’t always know which things are the most important. I have learned to put things at the bottom of the garbage, below other things. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
.-= Gen X Mom´s last blog ..Is it okay to tease your kids? =-.
yeah our fridge is plastered too, and the mini hallway that connects the kitchen to the big hallway. We only have her one day a week and on weekends (my bfs daughter from a previous relationship). She stopped drawing stuff for us a while ago but since she doesn’t live with us, the stuff she has bring to us is extra special to her. I really would love to take some of it down as it is yellowing and the edges are curling but I don’t want to offend her!