This post is dedicated to every single one of you Theta Moms reading this right now because I get it. I get you. And YOU are NEVER alone.
My son joined a soccer league that’s run by the town and it’s his very first experience playing the sport so you can imagine my excitement as we were gearing up to see my first born actually play for the first time. I had the camera ready to go with extra batteries and the camcorder all charged up. We had the uniform perfectly set along with some brand new cleats and a full water bottle in place for the big day. We all hopped in the car and drove to the field excited.
We got there and immediately began to get settled. Before I knew it my son was out on the field smiling, kicking, laughing and having an awesome time. It was such a joy to see him having fun with the other kids, playing a sport he so clearly seems to enjoy. But, I never realized how hard it would be to actually attempt to sit down with my 19 month-old AND watch my son in his glory. Upon arrival, what began as a calm situation (which lasted a total of ten minutes) took a turn for the worst when Miss Fuss Pants decided that she no longer wanted to be there.
She was done.
She’s at that difficult age where she doesn’t want to sit in the stroller for more than five minutes but the moment I let her out she runs away from me. Since she was screaming bloody murder to get out of that stroller I had no choice but to take her out. However, as soon as those little feet touched the ground she was gone. She ran straight onto the field and almost got demolished by a bunch of four year-olds and a flying soccer ball.
This was going to be a problem.
I couldn’t put her back in the stroller yet I couldn’t let her roam free either since she would simply run away – right back into harms way. She would not walk hand-in-hand with me and so she continued to scream like someone was killing her and this was around the same time the tantrums started. She was utterly relentless.
Yes, I was THAT mom on the soccer field. The mom that EVERYONE was staring at.
I got those looks from others with puzzled faces like, “What’s wrong with your daughter – can’t you keep your kid quiet?” I was frazzled, worn out and frustrated. Every ounce of patience in my body was gone and I was about to give up and just wait in the car with her until the game was over but then, it happened…
A few feet away I began to hear the sharp cries of another toddler. I turned my head and I saw another mother in my exact situation. There she was, holding her son in her arms and rocking him side to side. She was moving up and down the field in a desperate attempt to keep him calm and quiet. She looked tired, restless and out of patience herself.
And then our eyes met. We glanced at each other, quickly processed what was happening and gave each other a smile across the field.
I understood her. I knew EXACTLY what she was going through. I got it.
I wanted to run over to her with my screaming child and say, “It’s ok. I get it. I get you. YOU are NOT alone.”
But I didn’t have to. No words needed to be exchanged because with a smile and a nod I knew that this woman understood me, too. So with this new found energy I gathered the strength to pick up my daughter from the ground and confidently placed her back in the stroller. After realizing that as long as the stroller was in constant motion, she was surprisingly quiet. I continued to wheel my daughter up and down the field for the rest of the game to keep her pleasantly content. I was relieved.
And who can I thank for that?
A fellow Theta Mom on the soccer field who I haven’t had the pleasure of formally meeting yet, but someone I already know is no longer a stranger.
Yup, we are all THAT mom sometimes and our kids are THAT kid sometimes. We all stand together! Cool post!
.-= Kristy´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
We have all been THAT mom at some point. Such is the life of a parent:) This was a wonderful post. Sometimes there is strength and understanding in just a look.
.-= The Practical Mom Guide´s last blog ..Mission Monkey: Prayers For Monkey =-.
Thank you so much for that. I agree, there is such a bond that is created by motherhood – a powerful sisterhood that only a mother would “get.”
Have a great weekend!
What a wonderful perspective. It’s so true.
.-= Jennifer @ three pugs & a baby´s last blog ..{ watch } =-.
It’s the best when we can connect with another mom like that, right? I think that’s part of the reason I love blogging so much! 😉
Thank you for stopping by and making my SITS day so fabulous!
Oh, I do not miss those days, but then sometimes I actually do. It all goes by so fast, but oh man you are not alone!! Just know that even if your kid continued screaming her head off and the looks kept coming, it happens to everyone. Everyone!! And who wants a baby that only wants to sit in a stroller anyway. 😉
Hang in there.
Sadie at heyMamas
.-= Sadie at heyMamas´s last blog ..Mother’s Day Swag =-.
OH you are so not alone! Been THERE Done THAT!
LOL and then we move on!
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Oh man, I so hate it when I’m in that situation. The looks people give, I just want to say, Oh yeah? And you haven’t been here before? I’m so glad you found another Mom dealing with the same problem. You don’t have to speak to one to bond. xoxo
.-= Laura Dunaway´s last blog ..Pour Your Heart Out =-.
Exactly Laura – We did connect that afternoon over a smile and a nod and the fact that we both “got” it. Thanks so much for your comment and have a great weekend!
I’m having the same issue with my 3-year old at my son’s T-Ball games. She’s usually really good, but when she gets bored, the whining and crying begins! I don’t want to walk away, because I’ll miss the game, so I just grin and bear it!
.-= Stefanie´s last blog ..A Wordful (and Way Back) Wednesday =-.
We’ve all been that mom at one time or another. Next time you could maybe even take your daughter over toward the other toddler and see if they would be interested in playing with each other. My oldest just turned 2 and loves other kids.
.-= Chrystal @ Happy Mothering´s last blog ..Natural Birth Advocate Suspended in San Diego: Support Needed for Dr. Robert Biter =-.
Oh I have sooo been there. When my oldest strtedd playing soccer there was a playground just a little too far away. We could see it, but if I took my youngest there I couldn’t see the action on the field! I spent every soccer game all summer trying to keep one eye on the game and the other distracting the youngest. It can be done! Thank goodness for snacks and bubbles:)
.-= ModernMom´s last blog ..Snoring Hubby, Stomping Feet and Stupid Fears =-.
Snacks and bubbles – yes, we buy them by the truckload. 😉
oh how I remember those days. I also remember the shear joy of watching my youngest (4th) child uninterupted and savoring every minute of it. youre time will come.
I have the same thing happen with my husband sometimes. Two wives look into each other’s eyes knowing their husbands are being obnoxious. (But, with the baby due in less than three weeks, I’m sure I’ll have a turn at being “that” mom a few times!)
It’s always comforting to know that someone else understands.
I can’t wait until you are “that” mom and you can blog about it – and better yet, find some Theta Moms in real life that give you that encouragement without even saying a word.
Pretty powerful sisterhood we belong to if you ask me.
Everyone gets the opportunity at some point to be that mom. I remember being in line at the grocery store and my then 2 year old wanted candy. My no sent her spinning into the ultimate of meltdowns. I distinctly remember the woman behind me sighing heavily as her meltdown went on and on with my continuous refusal of no. I was so embarrassed and spent and I almost threw in the towel, thanks to all the contemptuous looks I was getting. But, I didn’t. And when it was finally my turn to check out, the cashier gave me a knowing wink and said, “Good for you Mom. ”
That little wink bolstered me up, when I needed it the most.
We’ve all been there. We just need to remember and show a little kindness to the rest of those still in the trenches.
Oh, and keep continuing to take her to the games. I think, it’s a great way to show children that they are each deserving of everyone in the family’s time, praise and attention. My girls are all teenagers now and on their own, they continue to support their sisters in their endeavors, showing up for track meets, or pep rallies or football games. It’s a wonderful show of love for each other.
.-= joann mannix´s last blog ..The Man Of A Thousand Homes And No Way To Find Them =-.
I love it when that happens. You need to find that woman and make her your friend!
.-= Tiffany´s last blog ..Gimme That Girl =-.
I know Tiffany! The next time I see her I am totally introducing myself – she “gets” it!
Have a great weekend!
Oh my goodness! I’m glad to know what could be coming my way! Our nine-month-old has just reached the stage where if you take something away from him, he screams loud enough to break the sound barrier.
I’m really glad you and Theta Mom Across the Way shared a moment. Sometimes it seems like these are the only things that get a mom by!
.-= Christina´s last blog ..Meat gloves to keep away meat germs =-.
Don’t be fooled Theta Mom, many of us may not have babies in our arms anymore, but don’t think the stares are, “why can’t she keep the kid quiet” but instead, ” Oh I remember those days, and many memories of the same scenario pop into our heads.” We are all secretly hoping for your success.
It’s true.
Dana
.-= Bungalow’56´s last blog ..Is That Weird? Or Is It Just Me? =-.
I hear you loud and clear! I’m often ‘that’ mum. Taking my nine year old to things for her, and having a three year old and a two year old who want to do their thing, yep, it totally get it.
.-= Hear Mum Roar´s last blog ..What can you do if your child has a public tantrum? =-.
So glad I am not alone in this!!!
Have a great weekend!
Oh yeah. We’re right there with you. My son is 18 months and one week and boy do I know it! One of my favorite tricks, by the way, is to have him ride on my shoulders. YMMV, but it might be worth a try!
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve come across a mom-blogger and thought, “I wish she lived down the street so we could get together for coffee and playdates…”
http://web.me.com/redshoearts/Redshoearts/Blog/Entries/2010/5/13_now_i_know_my_abcs.html
Exactly Aimee! The women who we instantly connect with and no words even need to be spoken!
Great post! I can really relate to this as I often ‘that’ mum. Usually this happens to me on the bus, when it’s running late and my daughter is screaming for her milk. The amount of times I’ve been sat there desperately trying to keep her calm and wishing the bus would hurry up. Usually feeling the stares of other passengers burning a hole into my back. But sometimes, just sometimes, I’ll glance up and a fellow mum will give me a smile and it feels a little better!
.-= Pumpkin and Piglet´s last blog ..I need, I want…Cupcakes! =-.
Love this post. I think kindness and empathy can go a long way.
I was in the airport once flying from Seattle back home and there was that Mom in the airport with a very unhappy toddler. She was struggling with him and she was very, very young. I think people were reluctant to help her bc she was such a young Mom. I had a toy for MiniMac in my bag so I went over and gave it to her son. I ended up sitting with them and reading him a book. She was so stressed out she started crying. I want to be remembered as someone who will help and not scowl and say “What is wrong with that kid!
.-= JennyMac´s last blog ..Maybe there is a market for CandyPorn? =-.
seriously why do those parents have to stare…i mean i KNOW they have been there done that. so irritating.
i never had the tantrum..can’t sit in her seat…need to run or do the opposite of what i wanted until giving birth to #4…she’s also 19 m and a demon…i mean sweet angel that obviously knows what she wants…and it’s the opposite of what i want! she keeps me busy.
we just recently got to go out to eat w/her joining us…and it lasted longer than 5 mins
why? we sucked it up and became ‘one of those’ parents who bought a portable dvd player and popped a Little Bear dvd in. she stayed staring at the screen for get this….30 mins…we sat in peace and went home. i was sweating bullets the whole time! hahaha
.-= Laura Scott´s last blog ..Wanna Be A Super Mom? =-.
Glad to know I’m not the only one!!
And glad to know we’re all in this craziness together!
.-= A wife loved like the church´s last blog ..Earrings Giveaway! =-.
You said it girl – we are ALL in this together, which is why I love blogging so much. Great connections can be made!
Have a great weekend!
That’s the worst feeling. A few years ago, I was having one of those moments and a Mom came up to me and gave me a $5 Starbucks card. She said, “I get it. And you need a cup of coffee.”
Do you know what I carry in my purse now?
Plenty of Starbucks cards
Just wanted to let you know I’m following you from the FFF on MBC. My blog is http://www.healthylifejourney.com/ if you want to check it out.
This is our second year in t-ball and today was our first game. Mr. Buster was NOT HAVING it. The stroller no longer can contain him. Thankfully both sets of grandparents were also there to keep him occupied. Oh, and he had some fruit snacks, a granola bar, and a rice krispy treat to help. UGH.
.-= The Daily Dribbles´s last blog ..Cascade Complete All-in-1 ActionPacs: A Review & Givewaway =-.
I love that moment when you meet a kindred soul! Hopefully she will be there next time too and you can commiserate together
.-= Annette´s last blog ..Rose Quartz and a bit more about Creativity =-.
When Jaylen started having massive Autism tantrums at places like Target, I got over that whole thing pretty quickly! I used to be one of those that judged or gave dirty looks, but no more! You never know someone’s particular situation. My son looks perfectly normal but in his head is a storm of epic proportions that I can not sort out.
And you are definitely not alone. At his soccer games I am constantly corralling my 18 month old. I rarely get to watch any of the game except when I can get him excited about snacks and juice I’ve brought.
.-= Mommy To Two Boys´s last blog ..Mother’s Day Circus =-.
This was so beautifully written just like everything I have ever read from you. I think that we have all been that mom! These kids don’t come with instruction manuals, batteries or buttons where we can pause them or have them go in slow motion. So many people can be critical of our parenting but usually those are people without kiddos. None of us really know what we are doing, but we sure as heck give it our all. I think you are doing a wonderful job!
.-= Juliana´s last blog ..I love you like a fat kid loves cake! =-.
I cried when I read this. I’m so emotional. We are moving in a week. Stress is wreaking havoc on my feeeelings.
Regardless, great post. This is one of the things I love about parenthood. When I first became a mom, it was like a whole new club of people opened up to me. It had always been there, right in front of my eyes, but I never knew of it nor was I invited. Then suddenly, I was in it and I could communicate with absolute strangers with just a look, a smile, a gesture to their little one. Before I had kids and even for a bit afterward, I was afraid of being that parent with that kid. However, I’m no longer afraid of that because witness to my mishaps are understanding eyes of people who’ve been there themselves.
What’s more is the people who make the situation all the more stressful with disproving glares and snide remarks were most likely that kid on more than one occasion.
.-= M.e.:Daily´s last blog ..You Might Have a Problem When (the blogging edition) =-.
I find it so sad that you felt judged by the other parents at the game. I mean, they’re kids are 4, have they already forgotten what it felt like to have a wee little one? It wasn’t that long ago for any of them.
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Baby Names =-.
I agree, it never ceases to amaze me how some women may have “forgotten” what it’s like!
Been there. This past winter there were times I would bring my son to hockey and I wouldn’t even catch a glimpse of him skating from taking care of my daughter.
Then there were times that I did catch a glimpse only to turn and find my daughter halfway across the arena.
Good times.
.-= The Grown-Up Child´s last blog ..Spoiled by divorce? You’ve got to be kidding. =-.
I pretty much go through the same thing on an almost daily basis! My little girl is at the SAME stage. Can’t sit still for long, but when I let her loose…. she’s off running in harms way. If I grab her and try to control her in anyway, she screams BLOODY murder. Yes, I too get looks from so many. We Mom’s are flustered enough in these situations, and to have someone glare at us in the process?! Ugh. They obviously have never had kids, or have forgotten! I am THAT Mom so often. My little girls pediatrician said that these so called “strong willed/stubborn” kids, are often the most fun to raise, as they have so much ZEST for life. (and never give up! haha)
It’s always SO comforting when someone gives you a reassuring smile in these situations. Trust me, you are NOT alone.
.-= Gerber Days´s last blog ..I have a major obsession… =-.
I have SO been there!! … actually Ive been there often lately. My son just started Tball and its the same thing with my 20 mo. She just wants to run off and do her thing.
Makes it very hard to watch the game… but yes, we are definitely not alone.
.-= Complicated Mama´s last blog ..Parents pick-pick-pick-pick =-.
Isn’t that the most amazing thing about kindred spirits? Shared experiences? A friendly smile?
These moments are often all that allow us to keep our sanity. I have been there with trying to keep my 15 month old calm while my 4 year old enjoyed an activity.. sometimes it leaves me shaking my own head! What a great experience, it makes it that much easier.
.-= Ashley @ Just Another Mom of 2´s last blog ..The days are long but the years are short =-.
Love it and I love that type of smile – I’ve had it in many of those mummy meltdown moments in public when you’re just about ready to tear your hair out. We are all in this together and that helps.
On a side note, you’re probably noticing me all over your blog this morning. I actually just planned to swing by on my rounds but there’s so much good stuff to catch up on, it’s like reading the Sunday papers 😉
.-= Babes about Town´s last blog ..Win a Papoozle Baby Sling! =-.
Oh, I can totally relate to this post. My 18 month old Moo, has entered her difficult stage. And I am THAT mom almost every Sunday at our church. This past Sunday, not only did she throw a mini fit, but she also started ripping pages from the Bible, which got a shocked gasp from one man sitting behind us. You would have thought she’d pulled out a gun or something.
Luckily, it was one of the Bible my family had donated and so, I just took when we left. I am so looking forward to the day she leaves this stage behind.
.-= Yummommy´s last blog ..Montastic Monday =-.
Yup !!! thats where i am now.. if you did figure out how to keep em quite.. could you please help out a first time mother and blog about it 😀
.-= Shafeena´s last blog ..Blog by a Mum… a Mlog? =-.
Lucky I haven’t gone through that yet, but I know I will soon enough! But, it is nice to know that there are others out there that understand and won’t shoot you the “look” for having a fussy child.